Title: The Last Goodbye Of Smile And Bone
Author: Mitzrael
Series: Vampire Knight
Warnings: Angst, mention of sexual intercourse (not detailed)
Disclaimer: Matsuri Hino is the original creator.
Summary: Takes place the night before Kaname and Rido come face to face in chapter 34. Kaname x Zero oneshot inspired in the song of the title by the band I Am Ghost.
Reviews are much appreciated
It was one of those quiet and way too peaceful nights. The whole academy was finally at peace; both human students and those 'blood-suckers' were deep and fast asleep. Nevertheless I had checked twice if not tree times to make sure that no one, and I mean not a single soul, was still lurking on school grounds.
I can say my -ugh-, it still is bitter to recall this, 'vampire senses' have intensified starting a few weeks ago and have steadily became sharper as of late. The changes first came in a very smooth and subtle way until they took a turn for the worst, the sudden peak suddenly aroused my entire self lured by that one fail and yet so entrancing trail of blood. Speaking of a disgusting, yet so effective way, how horror struck was I too realize I was to drift away from a nightmare only to step into another that was much, much worst.
Unluckily, this is what I usually call reality.
Yuuki did not even seem to have noticed. Up to today, it still amazes me how she can be so opened about it, so willing to help me…How long has it been? For how long have I starved in hopes to open my own wings and quit this ugliness I am compelled to call life?
Each morning I see myself torn between having to cross this valley made of nothing but pipe-dreams. Each morning I struggle to ignore the blood rushing in my veins calling, demanding and forcing me into submission, challenging my sanity over and over, always.
But it is not my dry and parched throat that requests this damned red liquid to pour in and fill me, to satiate me. It is not my own biding for I refuse to bend and compel, even if only in my lust filled mind.
And when the morning comes, I try to forget, I force myself into oblivion as it is easier to turn your back and walk away from your fears and disgust rather than stay and feel exactly like as a lamb would when forced to enter the wolf's den knowing there is no way out, there is not a single chance for escape.
When morning comes, my soaring heart ascends up in the clouds ripping trough my soul. I know he cannot reach me there, so close to the Sun it burns, but I am safe and it is all that matters. And I say goodbye.
Although I might just be fooling myself, I hold my hopes up onto the shinning orb fully intending on melting away all the shadows in my mind, in my soul. It is but a futile hope, yet I wish for it to become true one day, any day now.
But I am but a hopeless fool after all, aren't I? The Sun is already fading; I can feel its warm weakening, fading away until its dim light is nothing but a hollow and pale reflection, shadows already lurking, crawling. And, I would give away all of me for my heart to be strong, unbreakable, or at the very least stronger than it is at this time, so I could properly stand as the tough brother Yuuki is so bend to think of.
A lace of irony makes its way up to my lips.
Is it possible to pretend and get stronger than this so-called divine incarnation of the Night?
My eyes, wielding clear and dilated pupils, look up and it is already night time. The last ray of daylight tries its best to cling onto the sky but it is a lost cause and it faints, slowly, painfully, regretfully.
Pale little and delicate diamonds twinkle up in the sky as the Queen of the Night prepares to drop her veil. Dark and ominous she paints the canvas in black, engulfing all of the daylight life in her take.
In dreadful agony I know even she, the Moon, is but a spectator and tonight as every other, she is a quiet one.
"Tonight we shall dance" I hear in my head. This voice is not mine nor is a voice I have listened to before. But you see many things have changed. Now I have this voice acting up in my mind, it tells me when the time comes and challenges my sanity.
I look at my hands, palms up; I can easily catch on the faded trails of blood, still tainting my every skin pores. Yesterday night, I had a sudden urge to rid my mind of those terrible visions, impure visions. These fresh outrageous torments were growing inside my body and eating away what is left of my soul.
"Dear God, I wrote a letter drenched in my own blood." I remember whispering not only a few hours back when realization had hit me.
But the surprising and above all, repulsive fact was not the already drying blood in shape of words forming sentences that were taking a darker color on the paper, but the words themselves.
I would give anything to forget these words but I cannot. Forever engraved in my mind they now are, flashing at the most unsystematic moments. I look up again and there, with a shoulder pressed on the window frame, window which opening I do not recall, meaningless detail that quickly enough vanishes, stands the Owner of this voice.
"Thank you" it says. Simple words, spoken softly as to savor them.
I cannot comprehend what compelled the dark figure to say such a thing. Suddenly, the one thought overtaking my mind is to close that window and let the figure out but the moonlight softly makes it glow in a marvelous way. It is entrancing, charming and above all, irresistible.
A sad expression written over the otherwise stoic visage makes my rage driven resolution fade. Maybe I am a masochist after all; my body seems to move on its own accord and I take a couple of steps closer to my midnight visitor.
"Thank you" the voice professes again, this time a hand escorts it, and smooth fingers reach out for my cheek.
Can years of non-stop bleeding scars close themselves with just those words? Is it really like pushing a nail into one of his more likely comfy coffins? One clear strong push seals the pain away.
Cool breeze enters the room through the opened window, the curtains make a curve. In one smooth movement lips are promptly on mine, stealing the breathing I did not realize I was holding.
A soft kiss it is. The first of many to come yet it feels as the last. My senses cannot fool me even if I most of the time fight to ignore or try my hardest to change them.
"Why?" escape from my lips as soon as I am released. The same sad smile graces his flesh.
Strong arms hold close to my body and slowly making their way down to my hips, they are soon enough followed by well-known lips kissing down my chin and neck.
No much longer after, two experienced hands take away my shirt which falls down on the wooden floor. A warm a wet tongue makes its way towards my nipples; my body starts its surrender onto the familiar touch. Does it look pitiful? It might indeed, but I cannot care less.
My lips look for the other's pair, proving successful we lock on each other's while our tongues entwine, chasing, trusting, dancing. In a second my body gets lifted and I am laid back on the duvet bed. Lust and longing is all what's left, no longer fear, nor disgust. No more pipe-dreams, nor willpower. Lust and longing, and his sad smile, there is nothing else.
A first kiss and a last goodbye
Say goodbye (thank you for what you've given me)
The last goodbye of smile of bone
Why did the love fade away?
We will never be apart, we will never fall, it will never be the same.
Why did the love fade away?
As you died in my arms, it was the last goodbye of smile and bone.
The next morning, I raise from a dreamless night, good or bad, nor plagued by miserable memories.
I turn on my side, now face to face with a piece of paper carefully and neatly folded. A dark crimson message appears before my eyes: "I hate you. I hate you. Disgust. Revulsion. Hate. I love you. Tell me why do I love you? Insane. I love you. Why love?"
The same line lays repeatedly for at least a good part of the paper sheet; the letter held a dark brown color like dried blood. Upon closer inspection and the scent that assaults my olfactory sense, I realize it is indeed dried blood, mine to be precise.
However, by the bottom of the sheet, a brighter fresher line catches my sight. Curious I read it.
"Because I cannot have you. I love you so much yet I cannot have you."
Last night, we danced under the moonlight. In lust filled want, we laid naked, tasting our skin under the silent moonlight.
Last night, he kissed me and thanked me for loving him all the while his sad smile spoke of the future in bitter agony.
Last night, he loved me to the bone for the last time and said goodbye.
Last night, our love died.
Kuran Kaname killed it and I, Kiryuu Zero, woke up never to say those words again, much less write them.
There is disgust rising up my throat, still, the now wrinkled paper lies untouched next to me.
Its words forever engraved in my mind, the vivid memory of it all.
-The (bitter) end.
Edited on 13/June/2011: Fixed and edited the story but nothing that will affect it as a whole. I apologize if there are further mistakes, please do let me know if you come across any!