Review-Eds
Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd, and Eddy or any of the shows, movies, or video games or the characters from them used in this fanfic, but the original characters are mine.
Eddy, Double D, Ed, Carrie, and May are sitting in chairs in the middle of a large audience.
"Hi, folks, welcome to Review-Eds, the show where we, the Eds, Carrie, and May, review your favorite TV show, video game, or movie. I'm Eddy!"
"Greetings, viewers! I'm Double D!" Double D waves at the crowd and smiles.
"Hello, my name is Ed and I like to watch cartoons!!!!"
May groans and asks, "Why did I agree to be on this show? This is so idiotic!"
"Hello, Mr. Audience, my name is Carrie! Wait, is Audience a boy or a girl?"
Eddy says, "Okay, since this is the first episode, we let Ed decide this week's category, and it's…" A drum roll sound fills the room as Eddy pulls out an envelope. "… a mixture of TV shows/Cartoons and movies! Today, we're reviewing Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, the popular TV show, Pokemon, and an old one, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! First, we're reviewing Star Wars Episode: I. Double D, take it away!"
"Certainly, Eddy! Everyone, please welcome our first guest, Jar-Jar Binks!" Double D points to a door and an alien creature with a duck-bill-shaped mouth, long fin-like ears, and short stalked eyes walks into the room.
"Hello, boyos," the Gungan says. "Mesa called Jar-Jar Binks!"
"Yay, it's Jar-Jar!!!" Ed and Carrie squeal.
"Oh, my gosh!" May says in disbelief, her hand on her forehead.
"Anyway, Star Wars Episode I was a prequel of George Lucas' epic space-themed tale from the 70's and 80's. The Phantom Menace was released in 1999, many years after George's first movie was released. The film basically sets the stage for the other films and tells of how Anakin Skywalker became Obi-Wan's apprentice and introduces the popular characters, C-3PO and R2-D2. So, Jar-Jar, tell us more about yourself!" Double D says.
"Well, mesa from Gunga City, it's under de water on de planet Naboo! But mesa have a few axedentes and den boom! Mesa banished! "
Eddy says, "Okay, now here's the part of the show where we rate this movie, show, or video game. Okay, here's what we got…"
Eddy's review:
"Wow, I haven't watched any Star Wars movies since I was a little kid, but now I'm not really into them. On a scale of one to ten, one being the lowest and ten being the highest, I'll give it a six. First off, why the heck did George make IV, V, and VI and then make I, II, and III? That just made it more confusing! And then there was Jar-Jar. If it wasn't for him, this would've gotten a 7.5 or an 8, but he practically ruined the movie! I'd recommend this movie for Star Wars fans or Sci-fi lovers, but if you ain't either of the two, don't watch the movie or else you're just wasting your time!"
Double D's review:
"Well, I first watched this movie with Ed, along with the other five Star Wars movies, and on a scale of one to ten, I give this movie a 7 respectfully. The graphics were really good for it's time and it seemed to fit the plot of the whole trilogy perfectly, but there were a few things that kept me from enjoying the movie as much as I did. First of all, there was the fight scene towards the end. For me, someone getting cut in half is way too violent! And the battle scene was pretty violent as well. And finally, I found that Jar-Jar was way overused as comic relief! George could've used him during the first and last parts, but he kind of got on my nerves towards the middle of the movie."
Ed's review:
"It was cool! I love Star Wars as much as I like gravy!!! I give it a big fat 10!!!!!"
Carrie's review:
"Um, I give it this gum I found under the chair!!!"
May's review:
"I rate this movie a 3. It made no sense to me and the graphics were horrible and I hate Star Wars!!! Jar-Jar acted inanely throughout the whole movie. And for a movie made to have futuristic technology, the spaceships and droids were extremely low-tech! I could've done a way better job at designing droids that are a lot more efficient than the droids in the movie. I've never watched any of the Star Wars movies except this one, and after seeing how poor the first chapter of the trilogy, I definitely won't watch any of the other movies. Jar-Jar, do us all a favor and learn to speak English and stop acting like a fool!"
Jar-Jar gasps and exclaims, "How wude!!!!"
"Yeah, how wude!!!" Carrie and Ed shout.
"What!? I'm not nude!!! You perverted alien creature!!!!"
"No, mesa say, 'wude'!!!"
"I think he said 'food', May," Double D says.
"No, wude!!!"
"Oh, I get it! Dude! Jar-Jar must be one of those surfer guys!" Eddy says.
Jar-Jar sighs and says, "Just watch da movie…"
"I honestly can't understand a word you're saying! Could someone get me a translator?" May says.
"Can mesa leave now!? Yousa guys mean!"
"Fine, get out of here, you smelly Star Wars character!" Eddy yells. Jar-Jar walks out the door, mumbling something unpleasant under his breath.
"Eddy, that was rude!!!" Double D scolds.
"No, that was Jar-Jar!" Ed says, correcting Double D.
"Yeah, Double D, can't you call him by his right name?" Carrie asks.
"Okay, next we're rating one of the most popular anime shows that actually was the most popular anime show in the 90's: Pokemon!" Eddy says.
"This show was introduced in the U.S. in 1995 and continues to be one of the most popular shows on television. In a nutshell, the show is based around these creatures called Pokemon. They have unique abilities and people catch them using red and white 'Pokeballs' and then train them to fight each other."
"Here's our second guest, the most popular Pokemon of all time, Pikachu!!!!" Eddy points to the same door Jar-Jar came out and a yellow mouse-like creature with red cheeks and a zigzagged tail walks out.
"Pikachu! Pi! Pi!" it says.
"Ha! Ha! He said pee-pee!" Ed says, giggling.
"I don't get it…" Double D adds.
"Yeah, I could barely understand the alien guy and now I can't understand this thing at all!!!" May says.
"Aw, it looks like an onion!" Carrie says, staring at Pikachu with her eyes sparkling. "I love onions!"
"Pi???" Pikachu says in a confused tone.
"Well, since we can't understand a word this yellow rat is saying, we're going to go ahead and rate the show," Eddy says.
Eddy's review:
"Okay, I give this show a five. I used to like Pokemon a lot, but they basically remake the same Pokemon over and over again! The only thing they really change is the appearance! However, I am impressed at how long the show has lasted: thirteen years!!! The only other show I know of that's lasted longer is Dragonball Z! Other than what I just said, I find the games really addictive, but I never understood the card game."
"Double D's review:
"I give it a 2 because I still don't get it! I can't believe people enjoy watching a show about creatures fighting each other! And what's the deal with the voice at the beginning and end of the show? I don't see any reason to have that. I find Pokemon to be very confusing and I just flat out don't understand it."
"Ed's review:
"Pee-pee! Ha! Ha!"
Carrie's review:
"I don't have anything to give it but some pocket lint, so here you go!" Carrie gives Pikachu a handful of pocket lint.
May's review:
"I give this show a big fat goose egg, or in Layman's terms, a zero! Any cartoon in general is extremely bad for your brain and my studies have shown that cartoons, especially shows like Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh! slowly rot your brain out, so I'm afraid I can't give this show anything but a zero."
"Pika, pika!!!" the yellow rodent screams angrily.
"Whoa, Pikachu! I don't know what you just said, but I didn't like the sound of that!" Eddy shouts back. Pikachu growls at Eddy. "Hey, don't make me call animal control!!!"
"PIKACHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Pikachu electrocutes Eddy and runs offstage. May laughs at the Ed-boy.
"Geez, what's his problem?" Eddy asks.
"Maybe he had to go pee-pee!" Ed says, still laughing. Carrie's face turns red and she covers her mouth, trying to hold in her laughter.
"Okay, here's our last TV show, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!" Eddy says. "And with us today, we have the stars of the show, Mario and Luigi!!" Mario and Luigi walk out of a door onto the stage.
"Hey, pizzonos! It's-a me, Mario!" Mario says with an Italian accent.
"And it's-a Luigi, too!" Luigi chimes in.
"Oh-no, you guys are plumbers!!! I'm scared of plumbers!" Carrie hides under her chair.
"Okay, this show is about Mario and Luigi's adventures in Mushroom Land just like in the games, only in cartoon form. At the beginning of every show is a small skit by two people dressed like Mario and Luigi and they sing some rap song. The show was a popular Saturday morning cartoon in the late 80's but was taken off the air in 1993."
"Hey, when do we get to eat? I'm-a starving!"
"But we ate at Burger King on the way over here, Mario!" Luigi says.
"Well, I'm hungry again!"
"Uh, we're running out of time, so can you shut up and let us rate your show!?" Eddy snaps.
"Fine, as long as I get-a something to eat!"
Eddy's review:
"I give this show a 1! I mean this show was torture to watch!!! They made so many obvious mistakes and all the jokes were so corny it wasn't even worth a laugh! The theme song and the live-action skits at the beginning also destroy this show!"
Double D's review:
"I'll also give it a 1. I found this show to lack any accurate details from the games and all the jokes were unfunny. I'd only recommend this show to small children, as it does teach some important moral lessons."
Ed's review:
"Tallyho!!!"
Carrie's review:
"Please, don't hurt me!!!"
May's review:
"First of all, this is a cartoon, so that really lowers my rating. After watching this show, I wanted to tear out my eyeballs and boil them in hot oil just for watching his horrible show! This show was so bad; I had nightmares the night after I watched it! I give it a zero!"
"Okay, our show is rated, now can we please go get something to eat?"
"Fine, we'll go!"
As the two super-powered plumbers walk out the door, Mario shouts, "Tallyho!"
"Shut up, Mario!" Luigi says.
"Well, that's all the time we have for today, folks! If you'd like to have your favorite video game, cartoon, anime, TV show, or movie rated by us, please submit that request in a review!" Eddy announces. "Bye, folks!"
"Goodbye, and don't talk to any strangers!" Double D says, waving at the audience.
"Season's greetings!" Ed says.
"Wait, where are you going!? COME BACK!!!!!" Carrie shouts.
"Please don't review so I won't have to relive this torture!" May says.
Pikachu pops up out of nowhere and says, "Pika!"
Mario and Luigi fall from the ceiling and land on their feet. "See ya later," they both say at the same time.
"Bye-bye, boyos!" Jar-Jar says, waving.
"Hey, what are you doing here!? I thought you guys were leaving!!!" Eddy shouts.
"Well, wesa came to say bye!" Jar-Jar explains.
"Fine, you said goodbye, now this show is over, so LEAVE!!!!!!!"
Half-wit Ed-boy's note: If you'd like to see your favorite cartoon, movie, or video game rated, please tell me in a review. The opinions expressed are not my own and are of the characters, so please don't get mad that your favorite character was made fun of. I'm just trying to make the characters act like they normally would in this situation. Thank you!