He stared at the bare wall, a bottle of Coors in his hand. A small part of his mind told him that he should get up and do something – anything. But then he reminded himself that there was nothing left to do. Closing his eyes and ignoring the tears that fell down his face, he took another drink.

Her voice still reverberated in his head. He could still smell her on his clothes, on his skin. He knew that that last part was ridiculous, since he couldn't remember the last time they had actually touched. But it was true, nonetheless.

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"I can't do this anymore, Tony," she said, standing in the doorway.

"Do what?"

"This." She paused, swallowing hard. "Us."

"What are you talking about?"

He could hear the tears in her voice, see them in her eyes. His body ached to walk over to her and to hold her, to tell her that he was sorry and that everything would be okay. But he didn't move.

"I'm leaving."

His eyes locked on hers. "Don't."

"I have to, Tony."

"Don't leave me, Michelle. Please."

"I have to," she repeated.

"I need you."

She looked down at the carpet, tears falling to the ground. "And I need to be away from you."

He didn't answer her – he couldn't. His heart constricted at her words, the world suddenly falling away, leaving him hanging by a thread.

"All you do is drink, and sit around," she continued. " The few times you say anything to me, you're yelling. It's like…it's like you blame me."

"Maybe I do."

He tried to stop the words, but he was half a second too late. The pain in her eyes cut him deeply, and this time he couldn't force himself to stay on the couch. Getting unsteadily to his feet, he walked over to her.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean that."
"Yes you did."

Hearing the truth in her words, Tony's legs buckled and he fell to his knees. Tears were streaming down his face and he reached out for her. Michelle took a shaky step back, her eyes closing at the shocked and pained expression on his face.

"Please, Michelle. Don't do this."

"It's too late, Tony."

"I love you. I'm so sorry."

Opening her eyes, she gave him a watery smile. "I love you too, baby. But I can't do this anymore." She took a deep breath. "Take care of yourself, Tony."

Then she was gone.

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He had called her more times than he could count for the first two weeks. But he never got any farther than her voicemail, and finally her sister picked up the phone. He had rushed to explain things to her, to get her on his side, but Laura was firm, telling him that he needed to take the time to fix himself before he tried to reconnect with Michelle. Then she had asked him to stop calling.

If he was honest with himself, he had wanted her to leave. That's why he had ignored all her attempts to reach out to him, to help him. He wasn't sure if it had been out of a desire to see her hurting as well, or a form of self-punishment – both left him in the same situation.

Now that he had what he wanted, though, Tony knew that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. He knew with certainty that they could have gotten past his conviction and jail time, past the drinking and anger. It was the distance and the coldness that had finally ended everything, and he had no one to blame but himself.