Author's Note: My second RoryLogan one-shot. The hiatus is killing me, as I'm sure it's killing everyone else out there. It's simply writing and reading fics that's getting me through the days! Hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think please. Reviews make me smile. :)
Disclaimer: It's obvious I own nothing related to Gilmore Girls. If I did, there'd never be a hiatus.
Jealous Love
She rolled over, her eyes opening and closing quickly. The harsh sunlight seeped through her half way opened blinds. She could tell without even opening her eyes that it was a beautiful day. The kind you waited for, desperately, as the winter dragged on. It was April, and it had seemed for weeks that Spring would never come. It'd snowed well into March, dampering any hope she had for warm weather and sun filled days. But finally, today, the hope seeped back in and she thought that maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to for go her jacket.
She smiled, almost giggled actually. She loved that feeling, she could only describe it as being completely, and overwhelming giddy. Because she was sure she'd never been happier at any given moment. Logan was next to her, sleeping soundly. She loved Logan when he slept. She could watch him sleep for hours. She had watched him sleep for hours.
She chewed on her lower lip, forcing away the smile. She feared he'd wake up and catch her looking like a complete fool. Lying there, alone, smiling to herself. She knew he'd have some remark to make, and she didn't feel like listening to it at the moment.
She sat up slightly, balancing her weight on her elbows. She pulled the sheets up, covering her bare chest as she leaned over him to look at the clock. It was early, only 8 o'clock and the fact that it was Saturday made her that much more excited. No classes. No mind-numbing lectures from teachers. Just a beautiful, Spring Saturday.
She sighed, laying back down, careful not to make too much noise. She wasn't quite done thinking. She wasn't quite ready for him to wake up yet.
She replayed last night in her mind - something she was sure she'd do over and over again for the remainder of the day. It was beginning to annoy her to no end, the relationship or lack thereof, that she shared with Logan. She wanted him. Only him and he knew that. He knew it because she'd let it be known on a night she'd not intended. She'd been drinking, at some party or another, one she'd attended with Logan this time. Not Robert. Or any other male for that matter. She'd attended more elaborate, and not so elaborate, parties since she'd been with Logan. And she enjoyed them. She didn't particularly mind drowning the ridiculous amount of work she had between her classes and the paper with a drink or two, or three.
And Logan seemed to enjoy it too. Drunken Rory was decidely fun, amusing, and completely crazy. She figured that Logan particularly liked her drunken nights simply because it had become clear since they'd been sleeping together that when she got a drink or two inside of her that she could not keep her hands off of him. She'd sit on his lap or force him to dance with her or grab his crotch at completely random moments, completely taking him by surprise but turning him on more then he cared to admit. He would always smile at her, a glint of something in his eyes, that smirk obviously evident, but he wouldn't say anything. He'd just enjoy it.
And then one night, a week or two ago - she couldn't be completely sure, it was another one of those parties. This one not so elaborate. There was no major theme or fancy occasion. Simply a gathering of sorts in Logan, Colin, and Finn's dorm. Close to thirty people, at least, crammed into the rather large room, drinking and partying and having an overall good time.
And Rory was having a good time too. Logan had been paying a surprising amount of attention to her that night. Usually he wandered off with his friends, doing God only knew what, or sat down to a game of poker or beer pong and only looked to her when he was in dire need of a kiss or good luck. They weren't official, that was for sure, but it was clear to everyone - ever since the night of Finn's birthday party - that she was his. And a part of her liked that. She wanted to be his.
This night, however, was different then the rest. He'd kept his arm around her, danced with her, and kissed her much to her liking. She'd figured out somewhere in the middle of Finn's terrible rendition of "Alone" by Heart and his even worse rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" that Robert was in attendance at the party and he'd been looking for Rory. Wanting to ask her out once more. Or maybe only into a bedroom.
She'd laughed it off though. She didn't want anything to do with Robert, she'd never wanted anything to do with Robert. She'd let Logan claim her that night - pretending, if only for those short couple of hours that she was his. Exclusively. She'd noticed the looks she'd gotten from the other girls. Envy. Jealously. She liked that. She liked it a lot.
It'd been close to midnight, she had been drunk, there was no question about that. And he'd taken her hand, having had enough of her incessant brushes against his crotch, and not so innocent kisses to his neck. He'd pushed her into his room, closing the door with a bang, pushing her up against the door. She'd enjoyed it. She secretly loved when he wasn't completely gentle with her. It was new and different and it turned her on. He attacked her lips, mumbling how much he wanted her, needed her inside of him or he was going to explode. She kissed him back, just as, if not more, hungrily. She wanted him more. Needed him more.
And she'd told him. Right then and there.
"You're the only one I want."
He'd pulled away, slightly out of breath. He'd stared at her, so much so to the extent that she'd started to get nervous. But before he could pull away or run away scared she continued.
"I just want you to know that. I don't want to date anyone else. I don't care what you do, but I just want you."
And he'd stared for a little bit longer, trying to figure something out in his head - she knew that much. She wondered, more times then she liked to admit however, what it was exactly that he'd been thinking. He hadn't responded, only seemed to come back to reality. And he kissed her again. A little more passionately this time. She liked it that way too.
Now, here she was, lying in her bed, next to him and she was happy. Sure, she could be happier. If he'd just admit - let himself be hers and only hers. He could do it, she was sure of that. But she wouldn't push him. She wouldn't scare him away. He knew that too.
He stirred next to her, and she smiled, turning to her side to look at him, her hands tucked underneath her head.
His eyes fluttered open, as he arched his back, stretching his arms over head. The sheet moved lower, the butterflies a mess in her stomach.
"Morning." She greeted, her eyes still adjusting to the light.
He turned over, obviously forgoing any morning greeting. His mouth covered hers as he settled on top of her. She surrendered to his kiss, the heat in between her legs growing as his hardness brushed up against her.
He pulled away though, before she even had time to register. She groaned at the loss of contact and he smirked. Mission obviously accomplished is what that little smirk said. She hated him for that. He loved to get a rise out of her, turn her on beyond belief and leave her hanging. Bastard.
"I hate you." She muttered, yet she still rolled over, cuddling up against his side.
He laughed, and she couldn't help but smile. She loved his laugh. "That's not what you said last night."
She gasped in both shock and amusement, playfully shoving his shoulder.
He chuckled, the sound groggy and husky. She loved it.
They were quiet for a moment, both lying there, not yet ready to get up. They were content. Together.
"What time are you meeting him?" Logan asked.
Rory sighed. Remembering the phone call last night. The one that had started the semi-fight between the two.
She laughed at the television, the late night talk show she and Logan were watching keeping her temporarily amused. He laughed as well, his hands instinctively playing with her hair. She had her head in his lap, her body stretched along the length of the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table in front of them.
Her cell phone rang, she groaned, sitting up to fetch the phone from where it had landed on the floor earlier.
She glanced at the caller ID, surprised at the name she saw.
"Hello?" She answered, taking the remote control to lower the telvision, something Logan protested.
She listened, a smile gracing her face as the caller spoke.
"Hey! This is a surprise, how've you been?" She asked, listening for an answer.
"That's great. I've been really good. Busy but good."
Logan nudged her side, she turned, eyeing him. He shrugged, asking silently who it was. She held up her hand, signaling for him to hold on and he just shrugged again, turning back towards the T.V.
"And how's Lindsey?" She asked, swallowing the lump in her throat.
"Oh no, Dean. I'm so sorry." She grimaced. She could practically feel Logan burning holes through her backside at the mention of Dean's name.
She listened intently, nodding occasionally as Dean spoke to her, still confused as to why he was calling after so many months.
"Well, I am actually pretty surprised that you called." She said, in reference to a comment he'd made. "I know, I, uh, miss you too." And now Logan was secretly plotting ways to kill Dean, she was sure.
"Tomorrow? Um, I don't have plans. Why?" She answered.
"Oh you are? Well, then sure we could do lunch."
She listened.
"1 o'clock? Sure, why don't you come by my dorm and we can figure out where to go. You remember where it is right?"
Again, she listened.
"Great. Alright, I'll see you then, Dean. Bye."
She clicked her phone closed, falling back against the cushions of the couch.
"Dean?" Logan asked hesitantly.
She nodded.
"The ex-boyfriend Dean? First love of your life, first guy you slept with, guy who broke up with you in front of me Dean?" He elaborated.
"That's the one."
"Huh." He responded, staring at the television.
"You're having lunch with him?" He asked. He knew the answer.
"Yes."
"Why?"
She looked to him, her forehead creased in confusion. "Why not?"
He shrugged.
"He called, said he was in town and he wanted to see me. We're just having lunch."
Logan gave her a tight smile. "Sounds fun."
She smiled slightly. "Jealous?"
He made a sound in disbelief. "Hardly."
She nodded. She knew.
"I just don't see why you'd want to have lunch with him. Or why'd he'd call. He's married isn't he?"
She suddenly regretted mentioning Dean to Logan. Ever.
"They're...seperated." She answered, flipping the channel simply because she needed to occupy herself with something.
"Seperated? As in not together."
"Wow, well I can see why you're at Yale."
He rolled his eyes, ignoring her attempt at lightening the moment. "He wants you back."
She groaned, not believing she was having this conversation. "He does not want me back."
"Yes he does. He wants you back. Why else would he call?"
"Oh, I don't know. Because we're friends."
"Or he wants you back."
She sighed, standing from the couch, heading towards the small refridgerator across the room. "We're not having this conversation."
He shrugged as if it didn't matter to him one way or another. "I'm just pointing out the obvious."
"So what if he wants me back?" She asked, curious as to what he would say. She reached into the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water.
"Nothing." He commented, not looking at her. "I think it's great."
She wanted to laugh. She wanted to laugh right in his face, he was jealous. He was so God damn jealous but tne times more stubborn. He'd never admit it.
She laughed though. A dry, empty laugh that let him know she was slowly becoming irritated by his attitude. "Watch it, Logan. You keep this up you might actually make me believe that you care."
He wasn't looking at the T.V. after that comment. He was up off the couch in a matter of seconds. "Don't give me that, Rory."
"Give you what?" She asked in frustration, placing the bottle of water on the coffee table that had only moments before held up his feet. "You have got to be kidding me right now."
He shook his head, running his fingers roughly through his blonde hair. "Don't give me that fucking crap about me not caring."
"Okay fine. You're just a hypocrite is all."
"Excuse me?" He said, raising his voice.
"You sit there, telling me you can't commit to a relationship and I'm fine with that. You know I am. But then you're off with other girls, doing God only knows what, but you have the balls to get mad at me when I go out with somebody else? Please Logan, tell me where that makes sense."
"You told me you didn't want anybody else!"
"I don't!" She yelled. "God! I'm going out to lunch with him for Christ's sake. He was my boyfriend, and now he's my friend. Whether he wants me back or not is irrelevent because in order for me to care, I'd have to want him back. And if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of attached to you at the moment, for reasons that go way beyond me. So before you give me this bullshit, why don't you just admit you hate seeing me with other guys? Actually, no don't. Because whether you say it or not I know you hate it. And guess what? I hate when you're with other girls."
He stared. He'd never seen her so...angry.
She groaned, storming into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. It was times like these she wanted nothing to do with Logan Huntzburger.
She threw herself onto her bed, burying her head into her pillow.
She wasn't entirely sure how long it was before he opened her door, closing it softly behind him. But he did, and she made no move. She'd wait for him.
"I care." She heard him say. And it was really all she'd ever asked for.
She turned over, her eyes filled with tears, but she refused to let them out. She refused to give him that.
She watched him as he made his way over to her. He lowered himself to the bed, tucking a piece of her fallen hair behind her ear as he kissed her softly. The pads of his fingers wiped a way a few escaped tears. She hated herself for allowing him to see her this way. So vulnerable. But she felt something new shifting between them. He'd never kissed her quite like this before.
He kisses her like that, slowly and passionately for a few moments, before she gives into him. Her arms wrap around his neck pulling him impossibly closer. He moves so that he is positioned on top of her, his weight resting on his hands as he slides his tongue over hers. Their bodies are flush together, his right hand skimming down the side of her body, barely touching her.
Before they're quite sure of what to make of their most recent fight, their clothes are shedded, aimlessly flown onto the floor, and he's kissing his way down her body. He's like a predator, she his prey. She loves it. She can't help but love it. Because she's come to the conclusion that she loves him.
She pulls him back up to her, holding his head in place with her hands so that he's looking at her. His eyes melting into hers.
"I don't want anyone else." She lets him know again. And he knows she means it.
He nods, kissing her again, because he doesn't want anybody else either but he's not sure how to go about doing that. He's not sure he's ready for any of this. These feelings, these emotions. It's too much for him at the moment. All he knows for sure is that he wants her. Needs her.
And so he has her. Because he knows that even though he can't quite say the words, she knows.
"He's coming here at one." She answers.
He nods, his fingers trailing a path up and down her spine. "If he tries anything I'm kicking his ass."
She laughs, she loves how protective he is. "It's not like I'll tell you."
"Oh, I'll find out."
"Gonna spy on us?" She asks jokingly.
"Nah, I wouldn't stoop so low."
He waits a beat before continuing.
"I'd have Colin and Finn do it."
She smiles, kissing his neck because she can't get enough of him. She loves him. So much, and she knows that in some sick and twisted way he loves her too. She sees it in his eyes and the way he talks to her and acts towards her, and for right now that's all that she needs. That's all the confirmation she needs to be okay with where they are at.
She'll go to lunch with Dean, they'll talk and catch up. And that'll be it. He may want her back. He may not. He may bring up the old times. But he may not. Either way it won't matter. It won't change her mind. It won't change how she feels.
But she won't tell Logan that. Not now. She likes that he's jealous. Loves it actually.