Just Your Big Mistake

I knew it. I knew it all along. I knew it from our first date. I knew from our first kiss. I knew she was still on your mind. But I got so lost in those damn irresistible chocolate eyes and I couldn't pull myself away. I know I should've. I shouldn't have stayed with you that long. I shouldn't have let myself fall for you. I shouldn't have tried to love you. I should've known it would have never worked.

It was only six months, but it was six months too long. I should have never got myself into that mess. That disgusting, confusing, and drama-filled love triangle. I guess I was stupid. I listened to what I thought my heart wanted and what my emotions were craving. I left behind my brain and common sense and jumped right into a relationship with you. Big mistake.

You dated her for two a half years. You broke up with her for some reason I still don't understand. You fell for me right after. I dragged you on for a bit. I didn't want to rush into things too quickly. But soon after we started dating and I couldn't get enough of you. I thought you really liked me. But every single date we went onto you mentioned her name. You mentioned something she did that got your aggravated. Or something you hated about her. At first I just shrugged and listened to you. I could understand your anger. And you made me hate her too. But then my brain kicked in. We were dating for almost four months and you still always talked about her. It was getting ridiculous. There was something wrong.

My best friend became good friends with her. I hung out with her and she wasn't this demon you made her out to be. She was a really cool girl. She was funny and sweet. I was confused. If she was all these things why did you break up with her? If you still had feelings for her why are you with me?

I was in denial. I mean everyone hates each other when they break up. So I just left it at that. I can be good friends with my boyfriend's ex. No biggie. But then you became friends with her again. You began texting her all the time, talking all the phone with her constantly to all ends of the night. Don't get me wrong, I'm really not the jealous type, but this was point blank ridiculous. She wasn't your girlfriend. You broke up with her. So why were you so obsessed with her?

We hung out the next day. You were telling me about your conversation last night. You had this huge smile on your face that made your whole face light up. I've never seen you so happy in your life. And that's when it hit me. No more making excuses for you, no more trying to understand. I knew the truth. You love her. You never stopped loving her.

But it still is puzzling to me because why did you break up with her then? But I guess that is none of my business. It is between you and her. I need to step aside.

And so I did. I broke up with you. I told you, you still loved her and I'm not going to stay with someone who is in love with someone else. I felt bad, you looked so sad. But I couldn't stay with you any longer. And I know you knew it too.

It's been four months since we have broken up. We're all good friends. Just not like we used to be. But that's just fine with me. But I know it's different still. It's awkward when we talk. Which I find really frustrating. You and her had this huge heart-breaking break-up. You wrote songs about each other. She talked bad about you to others. She hated you so much and you hated her too. But somewhere in your hearts you forgave each other and are the best of friends again. Maybe even leading up to be more when she dumps her boyfriend. I know you're going to get back together, everyone does. It's meant to be. And I seriously am happy for you. You really do deserve it. But me, it's like you have forgotten about me. Forgotten that we have ever dated, that we ever fell for each other.

But maybe it's supposed to be that way. I was the girl you needed to show you that you made a big mistake. I was the girl that showed you, you really were in love with your ex-girlfriend. I was the girl who helped you see your true love. And maybe you were supposed to be the guy that showed me that someday I'm going meet the right guy who loves me. Who actually really loves me and only me because I deserve it.

And Nick just so we're being honest now, I loved you will all of me. I'm sorry you don't love me back, but that's life. I was just your big mistake and I guarantee she will be there for you to bandage you right up. She always is there for you. That's love. So go find her and win her back. You guys are the perfect couple and you deserve one another. Don't worry I'll find my perfect someone someday.

Your friend, Selena R.

P.S. Niley sounds better than Nelena anyway.