The lyrics used in this piece of fan-fiction, are from Sacrifice Me. I don't own anything; it belongs to Sylver.
I won't sacrifice me
Anymore
And I won't sacrifice me
Like before
You took the best of me
Can't have the rest of me
For it's all gone
And I won't sacrifice me
"So, what happens now?"
"Well, ATF will send me somewhere, put me on ice for a while, six months to a year."
"And there's no guarantee?"
"No, there's never a guarantee. ... I was kinda hoping that you would wait."
"I feel like the last couple of months all I've been doing is waiting. It's terrifying, I mean, I wonder every day if I will see you again, if something happens to you, if I would know about it. I can't live like that."
You've been living your dream
Full of high self-esteem
But you never saw the distance
Neglected my resistance
But now I say goodbye
To this superficial lie
We can never be together
Endless stormy weather
I was the one that made you happy but...
Calleigh exhaled, and looked around the bedroom. Every single surface seemed to be covered with dirty Kleenex. She felt like she had no more tears left. Yeah, she sure had loved Detective Berkeley. She had always found herself having a thing for Jake, ever since she had been in Police Academy. It seemed like she just couldn't live with or without him, but it would be without him from now on. There wouldn't be any more waiting on Jake Berkeley. She had sacrificed enough of herself doing that.
The worrying would most likely stay somewhere, though. He had been her boyfriend, at least. Twice, even. It would be impossible to put that aside, but she could eventually go out and have fun with others again, without feeling guilty about it towards him. Maybe he had effectively become one of them, and had crossed the line, like Raymond had done, and Horatio had feared. She knew about his opinions, that sometimes it was safer to be on the dark side. She knew that one time he wouldn't come back anymore, either. She didn't allow herself to think about it.
I won't sacrifice me
Anymore
And I won't sacrifice me
Like before
You took the best of me
Can't have the rest of me
For it's all gone
And I won't sacrifice me
Guys. Why did she need any of them anyways? She, Calleigh Duquesne, surely didn't need a guy to have fun, did she? She smiled and got up, gathering all pieces of dirty Kleenex and getting rid of them, so that her bedroom immediately looked a little decent. The mascara streaked pillow didn't really adorn anything, so she returned into the bedroom and undid the pillow's cover, throwing it into the nearly filled basket with things to wash.
As she did so, she looked at herself in the mirror and smiled at the sight of a blond raccoon. Lightly shaking her head, she turned around and easily picked a clean Kleenex out of the box that had been standing on her night table since she had gotten home. She walked back into the bathroom and rubbed away the dark smudges under her eyes, a mixture of eyeliner and mascara.
She threw that piece of Kleenex with the others in the little rubbish bin and turned to pick up the laundry basket, before heading into the living room with it. She was wearing nothing but dark grey sweat pants and a purple tank top, with flip-flops. Pink ones. She simply grabbed the keys and her wallet and cell from their spot on the kitchen counter and walked out, letting the door fall into the lock behind her.
Calleigh threw her things on top of the dirty laundry and walked downstairs with the basket, smiling at one of her roommates, who held the door open for her. "Thank you, Rafaello!" she greeted before walking into the nice evening air. She hadn't bothered to grab a jacket. And she wouldn't bother to take her car, either. The evening breeze would do her good.
I've been living your dream
Guess I know what it means
To live up to expectations
To conquer your frustrations
But I've had it with you
'Cause you don't have a clue
How to pay respect to me
Discover what I need
I was the one that made you happy but...
Calleigh waited patiently until the drying machine stopped humming, indicating that its program had ended. She had been reading one of the magazines lying in the launderette while her laundry had been washing and drying, only getting up from her seat to transfer her clothes from the washing to the drying machine.
The blonde silently closed the magazine she had been reading and replaced it, getting up to get her laundry and walk out towards home. Handy, launderettes that were open 24/7. She looked at her watch as she walked by the cafes to her apartment. A couple of minutes past nine. It had become cooler, she noticed, than on her way there. She shivered lightly, yet smiled to herself. It was going to be time that she did what she liked again; not what Jake liked.
I won't sacrifice me
Anymore
And I won't sacrifice me
Like before
You took the best of me
Can't have the rest of me
For it's all gone
And I won't sacrifice me
Calleigh couldn't help but laugh out loud as she concluded that her black leather pants still seemed to fit. It had been ages since she had worn it. Jake used to like it, but she had mostly worn it when going out, something over which he had usually preferred making out. She preferred going out and dancing over that. They had had other priorities; other interests. Maybe it wasn't that bad, breaking up with him. She felt so much more free than before that it made her feel reckless.
She had found some tops that could go with the pants in the same long lost corner of her wardrobe. She could imagine herself wearing this to CSI. It would surely make some guys' eyes bulge. Calleigh decided on the tight golden colored, silk turtle neck top, and walked into the bathroom, taking her makeup case and opening it on the sink in front of her. Mmm... Black...
The blonde easily made her decision and took out a carbon black köhl eyeliner, wetting its tip before moving it over her lower and upper lash line. She threw it back into her box of makeup and took out her Smokey Eyes eye shadow, smiling brightly.
It saddens me to know
You can't see that you're alone
It saddens me to know
You think you still own me but...
Around ten-thirty, Calleigh stood dancing sensually on the highest stage of nightclub Passion, which happened to be in walking distance from her apartment, and maybe she could find herself a ride home. She easily emptied her glass of Mimosa in one time. Who cared? She didn't have to work tomorrow, so she could really better enjoy it than waste it crying over her ex. She had cried enough for him.
She couldn't really remember how many she had had since she had arrived there, but still not enough to stop her from realizing that she seriously didn't need Jake to have fun or drink Mimosas. She was completely fine without him.
I won't sacrifice me
Anymore
And I won't sacrifice me
Like before
You took the best of me
Can't have the rest of me
For it's all gone
And I won't sacrifice me
Calleigh giggled herself back home. She overcame some difficulties with putting the key – the right one – into the opening, and smashed the front door closed, throwing her keys on the kitchen counter. She still didn't feel partied out, even though her feet started hurting. She walked over to the music installation, turning it not quite loud enough to wake her neighbors.
As she immediately recognized the sounds of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, she drunkenly swung her hand bag into the couch, starting to sing along with the lyrics, "I come home in the morning light..." She started giggling at the truth into the lyrics and went to the fridge to find it empty of alcoholic drinks. Maybe she had had enough anyways.
Seriously, who needed a guy to have fun?