AN: I started to think about a good story when I was watching the movie, Grace Is Gone, with my mom. It was pretty good, and very sad. Okay, review? I really like to know what you think.
Chapter One- Enough For Now
"And your name it's an honor
It's a shame but it's your honor
To take it on your shoulder
'til you can find another
That's enough for now
He should have never left you broken
He should have held you
Things your Father never told you
That's enough for now
He would have never left you broken
He would have held you"
The Fray: Enough For Now
"Bella? Bella, please come out of there," she was pleading with me.
I shook my head. I wouldn't—couldn't watch him leave me. My arms cradled my body, rocking back and forth. Calming thoughts, the ocean, music, books, lots and lots of books, Edward. No. Not Edward.
He was leaving me, leaving all of us behind. "Bella, you have to tell him good bye. He won't leave until he sees you, and you know that," she begged.
"I'm counting on it," I whispered. If he didn't leave, I could still see him and hold him and kiss him.
"You know, moping isn't attractive," I looked to my left to see Edward. Of course, the real Edward was still saying good bye to the good people of Forks. This Edward was called from my imagination, and I knew that, yet I was so comforted by his presence.
"I won't say good bye to you," I whispered.
"It's not good bye, it will never be good bye, love," he whispered back, his velvety voice wrapped around me like a blanket.
"Then what is it? See you later?" I let my head drop into my hands as more tears fell from my eyes.
He chuckled. "I like that. Yea, it's a 'see you later.'"
I shook my head at him. "You are ridiculous," I faced the fake Edward, "What if I never see you again?"
"I'm always with you, you know that. How else would I be here now? Bella, love, you carry me in your heart and in your mind," he said.
"Bella!" Alice cried, which turned my attention away from my imaginary man and to the door.
I reached up and unlocked it, letting pretend Edward go and finding peace with the real one. I would say 'see you later' not good bye. Never good bye.
"You look awful," she whispered.
"Thanks," I mumbled and pushed myself up off the ground.
Alice's petite frame guided me down the steps. "He's waiting for you at my house," she told me.
I nodded and wrapped my arms around my waist, holding myself together. We drove there silently, which made me feel even worse. Edward was still here and already I wrecking all my friendships. Alice was humming quietly as we pulled into their driveway. It was a tune that I wasn't familiar with but the sound of it made the car ride easier. Edward stood outside, looking extremely cold and worried. When he saw us approaching, he relaxed. I stared at him through the glass and felt my throat begin to close up. I grabbed Alice's hand and squeezed it tightly, clinging on it for dear life. "Breathe," she whispered in my ear.
I took a deep breath as Edward came up to the passenger side of the car to open the door for me. The usual purple circles beneath his eyes had grown immensely. His hair, its usual disarray was flat and uncharacteristically tidy; it made me ill to know the reason why. His smile didn't reach his eyes as his hand grasped mine.
He was cold, not like his usual chill but a sick cold that made me want to put a blanket on him to make him warm up. He smiled sadly at me, letting his fingers run through mine. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I wanted to memorize him, so that he would stick with me.
"Bella, dear." I looked up to Esme's broken face. Her eyes were tear filled and her face more pale than usual. Her silky caramel hair had lost all of its fullness and now sat in a ponytail on her head.
"Esme," I whispered.
She gave me a small hug and led us to the living room. Edward and I didn't speak, we only held hands. Letting that gesture be enough. I curled up to Edward as we sat on the couch. I breathed him in. His sweet scent surrounding me. It was better than a breath of fresh air, I could sit with him like this all day. I just wanted to be close to him. I wanted to love him. I did love him, more than I ever thought possible. I wanted to beg him to stay, to stay with me but he had made his choice before he met me and now he had to make due with it.
It wasn't long before the silence became too much for Alice. "Edward, I want you to know something."
Edward stiffened at the change in volume. "Yes, Alice?"
"I'm not happy with you leaving. I will miss you so much and I hate that you have to go," she cried.
I dug my nails into my palm, stop it Alice, I wanted to beg her to drop it. "I know," he whispered.
"I want you to stay," she continued.
"I can't," he mumbled, rubbing his face with his free hand.
"Please, Edward…" she pleaded.
"Alice," my voice was demanding and full of anger.
She turned to glare at me. "I know you feel the same way, Bella, but unlike you, I refuse to sit back and watch him get himself killed. You were the one who protested in your closet!" she yelled.
"I care enough about him not to hurt him more," I whispered.
"You think that sitting back and letting him go will make it go away, Bella? Well if he dies there, I will personally hold you responsible," she seethed.
"Alice! Damn it! Calm down!" Edward growled.
"Edward, please. Alice—" I started but she interrupted me.
"Save it, Bella," she said before walking out of the room.
I felt Edward pull me into him and the silence came back. This time, it was unwanted. "You are going to leave me," I cried.
"Bella, please. I don't want to, God, I wish I could take it back but I can't. Please, don't do that. Don't make this harder for me than it already is. I can't handle that," I heard his voice tremble.
I pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. He said shocked by my drawing away from him. His eyes were clouded by his tears but the green of them still shone through. I had always admired his eyes, the way they sparkled and held all of his emotions. "It's not good bye," I said quietly.
"I know, I will never let it be good bye. Not for us," he replied, his voice sure.
"It's a 'see you later', because I will. You will come back to me," I told him, as I looked down at my hands that wrung themselves in my lap.
"I will always come back to you, my Bella," he whispered.
He lifted my chin with his index finger, the skin silky smooth against my own. I met his passionate gaze with a blush. "I love you," he said simply.
I felt my breath hitch, he had said it. He had looked me in the eyes and declared his love for me. I smiled, the tears that I held captive in my eyes flowing over. "Edward, I love you too."
He grinned, his famous crooked grin and pulled me into him. I lifted my lips to meet his and he gladly obliged. We didn't let go even when our kissing ceased, instead he rest his head in my lap. I ran my hands through his tidy hair, messing it up and forming it the way I liked it. He continued to hum happily. It was a happy day, but it was a sad day too. We stayed on the couch, greeting those how came to wish Edward a fond good bye with a smile. We made a silent promise not to leave each others side, anywhere he went, I followed suit. I couldn't stand to not be with him, I didn't know what was going to happen after he left.
"What time are they coming?" I heard Esme ask her husband, Carlisle.
His reply was as glum as we all felt, "Around six."
"That only gives us three more hours with him," she sobbed, "What are we going to do, Carlisle?"
"I don't know, Esme, I don't know," he answered.
I felt my heart ache, as if it had lost all feeling. I wanted to cry and throw things and scream but that would upset Edward and I wasn't willing to be the reason for his anguish.
"Bella?" he asked quietly.
I peered up at him from my resting spot on his shoulder. "Yes?"
"Will you make sure they are okay when I'm gone? Look after my family for me," he asked me.
I nodded into his shoulder, secretly knowing that I would need them more than they needed me. "Of course I will Edward, they aren't just your family anymore, they are mine too."
He laughed quietly. "I know, they love you almost as much as I do."
"I just hope they won't grow tired of me now that you are leaving," Though I made it out as a joke, deep down I questioned if the Cullens really even liked me, or if they just dealt with me because I was involved with Edward.
"I don't think that Alice could survive without you now that she's found you."
"Funny," I replied, "That is exactly how I feel about you."
"That is funny, isn't it?"
I nodded again, smiling. "I love you," I reminded him.
"You are my world, now."
I smiled and snuggled closer to him. His head rest on top of mine. These were the moments I lived for, the simple ones. Sitting here with Edward, occupying myself by holding him. This was all I needed, and surely if this was all I needed, no one would try to take that away from me. I was already exhausted and tired of this day. I wanted it to be over. I wanted it all to be over and for me to be able to wrap my arms around Edward as if this was just any other day. I wanted him to stay here, and let me keep my arms around him. I wanted to keep him safe and be his barrier. I didn't want to watch him walk away and wonder if I'd ever see him alive again. I didn't want to bask in this moment as if it were one of only a few left. I wouldn't let that happen. Edward would come back to me. He would tell me he loves me every day after this. He would complete me and let me complete him. I wanted it to be simple.
But you don't always get what you want, do you?
"Bella," Edward's voice called to me.
I opened my eyes and saw Edward staring at me. I smiled sadly at him and buried my face back into his shoulder.
"Bella, I want you to wait for me," he whispered.
My eyes immediately darted to his. Of course I would wait for him, I save everything for him. "Of course," I said.
He shook his head smiling, "No, I mean I want you to marry me when I come back."
I gasped. That was definitely not what I was expecting but I did love Edward. I loved him with my whole heart. My mind wandered to the picture of us as a married couple. Edward would want a large house with a picket fence. We would have a son with Edward's piercing green eyes and my chestnut brown hair. We would raise him together and spoil him with gifts galore. "Yes," that was what I wanted.
"Did you just say yes?" he asked, taken aback.
I frowned at him. "Of course I did."
He grinned and crushed me too him, kissing me hard on the lips. "You will become Isabella Marie Cullen," he whispered in my ear.
"Bella Cullen, it has a ring to it. At least I won't be named after a bird anymore."
He chuckled. "Swans are very majestic birds though. It would really suck if your name was Bella Pigeon or Bella Crow."
I laughed. "I bet there is someone in the world that has the name Bella Crow."
"I really do hope so. If you ever find her, I would love to meet her."
"Hey now, you will only have one Bella in your life!" I teased.
"Oh really? Who?" he said, cocking his head to the side.
I lightly punched his arm. "Me!"
"Oh that's right, you are my Bella," he replied as he pulled me into him, holding me across his lap.
I kissed his cheek. "That's right and don't you forget it mister!"
"Never would I even dream of it," he smiled.
I let him hold me for a while, relaxing myself in his arms. I felt him relax, too. I closed my eyes, letting my exhaustion get the better of me. We lay that way, basking in each other's presence.
*
"Edward? Bella?" I felt a light shake of my arm.
I felt very lethargic. My throat was dry and my skin was tight from the dried tears. I didn't want to moved, I was in the most comfortable bed. I rolled into over and felt a soft wall, I rest my head against it and sighed in contentment.
"She is out like a light," a musical voice laughed.
"That's my Bella," I heard Edward laugh.
"Edward, the bus will be here any minute. You need to get your pack."
"Bella, love, wake up," Edward's breath tickled my ear.
I giggled at the sensation and realize that I wasn't dreaming. Edward and I had fallen asleep and now it was time to wake up. I tried to open my eyes but they felt sticky. "Edward," I moaned.
"Bella, I have to leave soon," he whispered.
My eyes shot open at his comment. "No," I gasped. He was going to leave, the whole thing was real. It wasn't a dream.
"I'll get your pack," I now recognized Alice's gloomy voice.
"Bella, love, breathe. I'm right here," he cooed.
I shook my head and lifted myself into his arms. I wrapped my own around his neck. We both started to sob. He was going to leave soon, very very soon and I couldn't stop him. Alice returned and bound all three of us in a group hug. She joined in the tears soon and I felt hers fall onto my back, soaking my shirt. We sat there until Carlisle and Esme entered and even then I kept my arms tightly wound around Edward's neck.
"Edward, the bus is here for you," his voice cracked. The words that he spoke, barely made it out.
He nodded against me. "Bella, baby, you have to let go now," he whispered.
I shook my head and tightly shut my eyes. "Bella, please."
I shook my head again. "Alice," he whispered.
I felt a new pair of hands underneath my arms and they started to pull me away from him. I recognized Alice's surprising strength and I started to sob again as I realized I was going to lose this battle. "No!" I cried, "Please, don't go Edward. Don't leave me!"
"Bella, I love you," he whispered brokenly as he was torn from my grasp.
I opened my eyes to see him hugging Esme and Carlisle. His parents were both crying, almost as hard as I was. They had come to terms with Edward's departure but I wouldn't. I ripped myself from Alice's grasp and ran to Edward. I threw my arms around him and kissed every inch of skin I could find. I cried and kissed him until I couldn't breathe. Then, again, Alice pulled me off him. I pushed her and yelled and tried to get back to Edward but no one would give in. No one would let me. I fell to my knees and watched as he waved to us and got on the bus with the other marine recruits.
"Edward!" I screamed.
He looked at me, tears streamed down his pale cheeks. "Bella," he mouthed.
"I love you," I mouthed back. I always will.
The bus began to pull away after Edward's bag was put in a compartment. I pushed against Alice and freed myself from her hold. I ran after the bus, at a pace I had never dreamed of reaching before. All that matter was Edward, it was like a dream where something was just out of reach. I was so close I could almost feel him.
"Bella!" Alice screamed.
"Bella!" Carlisle called.
"Bella!" Esme sobbed.
"Bella," Edward had mouthed.
My name, just my name. I ran behind the bus, refusing to let go. I would never let Edward go. I needed him now. He was a part of me. How do you live with out your life? How do you live without your soul?
I tripped, being my graceful self. And I couldn't get up to chase the bus anymore. I just fell to the group and wept. Letting go of the world, I let the rain bury me.
"See you later," I cried.
Never good bye.
AN: Is it stupid that I cried? Yea, I'll answer my own question. Okay, leave reviews. I really like this one, I hope you do too.