Hey all! this is Reiyna! Please! i dont own any of these characters! Well, except for Naomi Omi, thats me in this story.
Summary: this is a story of a group of friends and the problems they encounter. its just plain funny! so read and review please.
How We All Met
By: Naomi Omi
In all of the universe two "people" sat together making an alliance that would perhaps destroy the world along with the universe. They sat in a large room that gave them ample space if they wished to destroy or get angry.
"Miyuki, I do not think you understand what I am saying," Naomi said, shaking her head. "I need someone who can help me with what I need."
"I understand completely, but you must realize that I have to keep order over the entire universe," Miyuki complained, whining like a child.
Naomi raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, I'll tell you what," the empress said. "If I supply you with eight pounds of human flesh a week, will you work for me?"
Naomi smiled and jumped up and down. "Oh yeah! Human flesh! Human flesh! I'm getting human flesh!"
"So you agree?"
"Hai, hai, of course I do!"
"Arigato." Miyuki sighed and rubbed her head for a little bit. "Now, I want you to go do something that doesn't involve me."
Naomi stood and danced out of the room, chanting, "Human flesh! Human flesh!"
Naomi walked from the castle and stopped dancing around. She walked down the corridor and saw a young kid down the hall talking to a hunchback. Getting angry, Naomi stormed over and pulled the young girl away from the hunchback.
"WHAT is your name?" Naomi yelled, staring at the girl.
"R-Rikku." The girl started crying.
Naomi took the girl and began pulling her away from the hunchback.
"W-wait! Where are you taking her, master?" The hunchback yelled.
"Shut up, Dairyu! Go eat clay or something." Naomi yelled in reply as she dragged Rikku away.
"I don't want to go! I love him!"
"That's the exact reason why you're going with me!" Naomi screamed, scaring Rikku. "You're not allowed to fall in love with someone who has a hump."
"Well, then, who am I supposed to love?"
"People who don't have humps, that's who," the alien said, dragging her along.
"I don't wanna go!"
"Too bad!" Naomi took Rikku up the to the top of the tall tower and pushed her into the highest room. "Now stay in there until you find someone prettier to fall in love with."
Naomi turned around and stomped from the tower.
When Naomi was out of sight, Rikku leaned up against the door and found that it opened. Rikku stared at the door for a moment before closing it again. She sat on the floor and stared at the door.
Out in the castle's courtyard, a strange girl with blond hair was walking around town looking for a prominent fortune teller. At the end of a crowded street she saw a sign that read:
Prominent Fortune Teller Inside
Not very good
Unfortunately, she didn't read the fine print that told everyone that she SUCKS at her job. Stella is too stupid to notice something like fine print on a sign.
"Hello? Anyone inside?" Stella asked, walking into the building through the hanging beads.
A menacingly, high-pitched laugh came from the back of the building. "Who is it that enters my domain?"
"Um-um, Stella," she replied, following the voice.
Coughs could be heard before a quieter, more polite voice could be heard. "What do you want?"
"I would like you to tell me my fortune," Stella answered as she went through another set of hanging beads. "I was wondering what my future was going to be like."
Okutuba's hoarse laughter echoed throughout the building before she coughed to clear her throat. "Sorry." For a moment she was quiet as she stared at Stella. "Hmm. I am sensing some jealousy in your future and a great ending with many many children."
"Will I get married to Vash or Wolfwood!" Stella asked, hoping that she would say yes.
"This man you will marry is very handsome and very rich," she replied, closing her eyes. "That is all I can see for you, miss. Now for my payment?"
"Oh, um, yeah," Stella stumbled and dug into the small pockets of her pink miniskirt. She pulled out a few dollars and handed them to the fortune teller. "Thanks!"
As Stella left the building, she found a sign saying that there was an opening for a jester at the court to entertain Empress Miyuki. Stella, knowing that she could entertain anyone took the offer to audition as a jester for the empress.
"My lady empress," Naomi said, kneeling before Miyuki. "I've brought you a present that will surely bring you much...joy."
Miyuki's face lit up at the sight of a box being brought to her. "Yay! Yay!"
"I hope it will satisfy you, my lady empress."
Miyuki began to rip off the wrapping paper then opened the box. "Oh my GOD! It's a whip! Thank you! Thank you!"
"Do you like it, Miyuki?"
"Oh yeah! Love it so much!" Miyuki said as she tested out her new whip. She almost hit Naomi.
"Ahh! Don't hit me!" Naomi yelled, backing up away from the crazed empress.
"No hurting MY NAOMI!" Rikku yelled from the doorway.
"MY RIKKU! How the BEEP did you get out of the tower!" Naomi asked, ignoring Miyuki.
"Um...I...was...um...hungry...so...I...um...left...my...room," Rikku said, staring at Naomi. "Maybe I should go back there."
Naomi nodded and watched her leave. She began to walk from the room when Miyuki's whip hit the back of her head, spewing green blood everywhere! Everything was covered in the icky green stuff from Naomi's head! Naomi ground her teeth together as she turned to look back at Miyuki.
"Mi-yuki!" Naomi yelled before chasing Miyuki, who was crying, around the room.
Rikku stood outside the room and peeked inside. Weirdos, she thought. She went back to the tower room.
"Lady Empress! You're jesters have arrived for you to pick which one you want!" Dairyu said, coming into the room.
Miyuki was hiding behind her throne away from the crazed alien. "O-okay! Please, Naomi, I need to pick a jester! Could you come back later?"
"Argh! I will be back!" Naomi said as she left the room with Dairyu in a headlock.
The guards let the group of jester-wanna-be's into the room. Stella accidently tripped over someone's shoe and fell on her face in front of Miyuki. Empress Miyuki laughed so hard at her that she was rolling on the floor holding her gut.
"That was great! Oh my god! I loved it!" Miyuki said, pointing at the girl on the floor who was trying her best to stand up with little success. "I want her to be my jester, she'll be hilarious!"
"Yes, my lady empress," the guard said, shushing everyone else out of the room.
Miyuki slowly regained her composure and went to help the young girl up. "What's your name?"
"Stella, my lady," she said, trying to bow but fell over instead.
"You kill me," the empress said as Stella made a fool of herself.
Miyuki sat in her throne room while listening to her advisor talk about news of the world.
"You know what?" She interrupted.
"What, empress?"
"I want some electricity in this castle for the party I am going to have."
"P-party, my lady, while your people are suffering!"
"It's my party for me not the stupid people of my country!" She said, looking at him.
"Yes, my lady, I will find someone to install electricity."
"Good." Now, who will I invite to my party?
Naomi sat on a chair outside the room in the tall tower, watching the wall.
"You know something, Naomi?"
"What?"
"Dairyu's hump isn't real. It's just stuffed with chicken feathers." Rikku said, trying to get Naomi to let her love Dairyu. "You could let me at least talk to him."
"Not until he takes that hump off his shoulders. What's the point of it anyway?"
"To make him look different."
Naomi laughed. "That hump makes him hunch over like an old lady." She stood up and opened the door to the room. "Have you ever watched him walk? It's like this." Naomi proceeded to show Rikku how her love walked.
Rikku began to laugh as she watched Naomi. "That's funny looking, Naomi!"
"Do you think we could play a prank on him? At the party!"
"Yeah! Yeah!"
"Good, here's what we're gonna do," Naomi said as she began to whisper into Rikku's ear.
"My lady empress," the guard said, bowing. "Hamtaro has finished the installation of your electricity."
"Thank you," she said, smiling. "Tomorrow we have a party!"
The next day passed and Saturday night came. The night of the PARTY! Tons and tons of people/aliens came to the party. And of course PRESENTS were a must at Empress Miyuki's party.
Ginger, an old perverted guy, brought Miyuki four cute and cuddly teddy bears. After which he was hit a couple of times with a whip.
Snap, an old perverted woman, brought Miyuki a big book of torture recipes.
Hamtaro, Miyuki's pet power-plant, who was an actual hamster, kept the power going by running on his wheel while looking at a picture of himself.
Stella, the new and very funny court jester, brought Miyuki and her guests many many laughs.
Naomi, Miyuki's allied alien with green blood, was only able to bring Miyuki another group of aliens to serve her.
Okutuba brought Miyuki four wrong but hilarious fortunes.
Emperor Devil, a devil who is infatuated with Miyuki, brought her four large Cerberuses.
Miyuki cried tears of red blood when she saw both him and the three-headed dogs. "Oh, I love them sooooooo much!" She jumped down and hugged Devil who blushed deeply.
Naomi, who was watching from the far wall, saw Rikku enter then started running over to her. While she was running she had no idea that an IDIOT was going to get in her way. She ran into a man who was wearing very strange pants.
"Excuse but why are you wearing those pants?" Naomi asked, staring at his pants.
"I am Hypnopants, and I hypnotize people with my pants!" He said, smiling.
"O..kay, well I gotta go. I've got to play a prank on my old friend Hunchback!" Naomi said, waving at Hypnopants.
Strange lady, he thought as he began to dance.
Naomi stood by Rikku. "Ready?"
"Yes."
"Okay, now we have to find Dairyu!"
"He's not coming!" Miyuki said, quietly. "I kinda forgot to invite him!"
"WHAT?" Naomi's veins were popping out on her forehead as she looked at Miyuki. "What did you just say?"
"The hunchback's not coming," she repeated. "I didn't invite him."
"Well, go invite him! I've got a prank to play on him!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Naomi, how come you can boss Miyuki around?" Rikku asked, looking at the empress running to find the hunchback.
"She's my ally and she gets scared easily so I can scare her into doing anything I want her to do," she replied, smiling as she watched for Dairyu.
Rikku smiled, doing the same.
Moments later, Dairyu arrived being dragged in by Miyuki.
"There he is!" Rikku said, pointing to him.
"Oh yeah! Time for pranking!" Naomi said, grinning evilly. "Now all we have to do is–."
"Naomi! There you are!" Dairyu yelled, running over to her, interrupting her and Rikku's conversation. "What are you doing with MY RIKKU?"
"MY NAOMI and I were just talking, Dairyu." Rikku said, smiling as she looked at the hunchback.
"Y-YOUR NAOMI?" Dairyu's eyebrow began to twitch with frustration. "That's it! I'm fighting you right here and now!"
"Really?" Naomi stood with her hands on her hips.
Dairyu grinned and pulled the chicken feathers from his artificial hump and threw them on the ground. The two proceeded with beating the pulp out of each other while yelling that the other was an imbecile. Rikku was watching and cheering for them both but mostly for Dairyu.
"Idiot!" "Hunchback!" "Greeny!" "Freak!" "Nincompoop!" "Monster!"
Suddenly the lights went out and Miyuki yelled for Hamtaro to start running again at the top of her lungs! However he didn't listen.
Suddenly Dairyu felt something bite his butt. He yells in pain and starts to dance around like an idiot. Then the lights turned back on and everyone saw Dairyu dancing around. Everyone started to laugh.
"ARRIVING YOUR ONE AND ONLY, STELLA!" Stella yelled as she entered the room, smiling and wearing a jester's suit. When everyone stopped to look at her, she laughed and began to fall down on her face to make everyone laugh.
"MOVE!" Okutuba yelled, pushing Stella out of her way as she dragged SL2 behind her. "I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS! I'M GETTING MARRIED!"
"NO! NO! NO!" Miyuki yelled, chasing Okutuba and SL2 out of the castle. "DON'T STEAL MY THUNDER, FORTUNE TELLER!"
"My lady Miyuki, this party is for me, right?" Dairyu asked, turning to Miyuki, completely forgetting that his butt hurt.
"NO!" Miyuki yelled, chasing Dairyu around and forcing him to ring the bell in the tower forever.
"WHERE IS HYPNOPANTS!" A strange-looking man in a potato suit asked.
Hypnopants appeared and looked at him. "What?"
"You left our battle to come to this stupid party?"
"Yeah, what's it to ya?"
Potato-man growled as he walked toward him.
Stella was dancing around when she saw Potato-man. When she saw him, she literally fell head over heels for him.
"OH MY GOD! HE IS SO HOT AND SEXY!" Stella yelled and went over and grabbed Potato-man around his neck and nearly choked him to death.
Naomi shook her head and left the room with Rikku, talking about the look in Dairyu's face when he was dancing around like an idiot.
"Did you see that look?" Naomi asked, walking with her hands behind her head, grinning. "I didn't even mean for him to do that."
"Yes, I know, but it was so funny." Rikku replied, laughing.
"RIKKU!" Dairyu yelled, running up behind them.
Dairyu grabbed Naomi's arm and turned her around. "What are you doing with Rikku?"
"I'm just talking with her." She replied, looking at him.
"Yeah, Dairyu, we were just talking about how weird you looked when you were dancing."
Dairyu's jaw dropped. Weird? "What do you mean by 'weird?'"
"That's what I mean. You were dancing around like you had ants in your pants!" Rikku said, causing Naomi to bust up laughing.
"Ants in your pants! Thanks for the idea, Rikku," she laughed, holding her stomach.
Dairyu got fed up and began chasing them around the building. Rikku was chasing Dairyu who was chasing Naomi.
Miyuki and Devil were having a very nice time feeding her new dogs.
Stella and Potato-man were talking.
Okutuba and SL2 were getting married.
Hamtaro was still running in his wheel toward a picture of himself.
And Hypnopants was being hypnotized by his own pants that were on his bed(don't ask me why).
Ginger and Snap got married and made perverted jokes out of everything. They were being themselves, literally.
In a few years, Rikku had found another person to love and decided to get married.
At the wedding Naomi was in the middle of the last line, Rikku and the other guy were about to get married when Dairyu came in. He was HUMPLESS! He was no longer a HUNCHBACK!
"I object," Dairyu yelled, running up to them. "I want to marry Rikku!"
Naomi looked at him and smiled. "Finally, you got rid of that stupid hump."
"Yes, through plastic surgery!" He said, proudly.
"YAY!" Rikku pushed the other guy away and ran to Dairyu. She looked at Naomi and asked, " can I marry him now?"
Naomi nodded.
"YAY!"
So Naomi said the right so that Dairyu and Rikku could get married.
THE END
(hint: scroll down)
It's not! Ha! Fooled ya!
Anyway, Miyuki and Devil married too. Hypnopants and Naomi married, while they both were hypnotized by his hypnotic pants. Ginger and Snap were on their honeymoon along with Okutuba and SL2. Dairyu and Rikku went to Tokyo for their honeymoon and Stella and Potato-man went to their favorite porn site for their honeymoon.
Now do you think it's over? Well, you're right. It's the end. So, good bye!
Rikku: Wait. You mean we're done playing? Starting to cry
Dairyu: Yeah, guess the game's over. Sighing
?K?ç-E: Darn.
Naomi: That was so much fun! Let's do it again sometime!
Rikku: Yes! Smiling
Akusi: Why did I have ta be the perverted guy?
Miyuki: Because! pushing Ginger away from the group
Okutuba: Oh, yeah! I married SL2!
Miyuki: Yeah, but did you see his new hair cut?
Okutuba: No, why? looking puzzled
Miyuki: He cut it short and now he's ugly showing Okutuba a picture of SL2's new haircut
Okutuba: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! screaming
Dairyu: Will someone shut her up?
Naomi: Hey, everyone, I've got an idea! jumping up and down
Everyone: What!
Naomi: Well, let's go to the pet shop and buy some ants.
?K?ç-E: Why?
Naomi: Because... glancing at Rikku then at Dairyu
Dairyu: No way! Runs away as Everyone chases him
Many moments later...
Miyuki: Where is he?
Rikku: I don't know
Akusi: DAIRYU! WHERE ARE YOU?
Dairyu is shuddering in a corner
Naomi: I think I can hear someone shuddering.
?K?ç-E: Me too. I wonder where it's coming from
Okutuba: over there! points at trees
Dairyu stands up and runs passed them
Miyuki: Get him
Many moments later...
Miyuki: Caught him
Rikku: Who has the ants?
?K?ç-E: I do holds up box of ants it took me a while to catch all of them
Everyone: Why did you catch all of them?
Miyuki: You know you could've just bought them at the pet store
?K?ç-E: stares at them blankly
Naomi: grabs ants and hands them to Rikku He's you're boyfriend, you do it
Okutuba: nobody else wants to do it
?K?ç-E: sticks his tongue out at Naomi
Akusi: Let me hold him so he won't move Hold Dairyu
Dairyu: Let go! Let go!
Rikku: puts ant in Dairyu's pants Sorry.
Everyone: watches at Akusi lets go of Dairyu
Dairyu: dances with ants in his pants
Everyone: Yay! dances along
Moments later...
Dairyu: See ya!
Rikku: Bye! waving erratically
Miyuki: Bye bye!
Akusi: See ya!
?K?ç-E: Bye!
Okutuba: Bye!
Naomi: What! Where's everyone going? looking at them confused
Miyuki: slaps Naomi's shoulder they story's over. Say good-bye.
Naomi: Oh yea! Waves Tenna' tul're! That means Until tomorrow in Elven! smiles
Everyone: See you next time! bows
While walking away...
Rikku: you know, I thought we did good
Dairyu: I've still got ants in my pants
Miyuki: good
Naomi: let's get something to eat
Okutuba: Naomi, think 1...2...3! Naomi!
Naomi: HEY!
Everyone chases after everyone else.
The End