Thud, crunch, break
Warnings: yaoi,
Summary. Let's quietly listen to the ramblings of a freshly dead man.
June 25, 2013
09: 00 am
So this is what being dead feels like.
Nothing.
I mean, I can't even find any amusement in seeing his face twist up like some madman. I mean, c'mon, look at that. Ain't my face just as lovely when brain matter and all that red stuff comes pourin' outta my sockets?
I always thought I' die with a happy, content, wrinkled face from old age. I led a pretty happy life you know? I mean sure, half of what I used to eat on my short-lived life is — was— gotta get used to that now — was junk food. All that salty high on cholesterol goodness that a human just can't live without. I might even say that I have no regrets, I ate, traveled, laughed and cried like it was going out of style — oh wait, I got fucked pretty happily on a regular basis too, and that was tellin' something.
But I think— when you're dead, do you still think? I mean, you have no brain anymore — ah it hurts to ponder about that now — that I'm a ghost now. Hah! I don't even feel up to it anymore, I remember — hmm.. what was I before? Oh yeah! I was a loud guy…. yup, that's in me shouts I am the man! Whoot! Go Naruto Uzumaki! Now I don't even feel like shit, I feel nothin' sorta like… I dunno, don't even know what to feel about not feelin' anything.
Thinkin' back on my life now, I was a hoooot piece of ass with a very colorful personality, or so I heard on my funeral.
Time flies when you're dead, or rather time doesn;t matter to you anymore. One moment you're standing over your body lookin' puzzled why there's two of you and the other one is fugly with a lot of gore on the side. Next you're on this real huge house with your body already in a casket —- hey! How'd you know I wanted an orange casket?
People you know start to trickle one by one, sayin' all the good things you ever done to 'em, that I saved his pet cat from roasting in the barbecue was a little bit embarrassing even for me. I must've been a cool guy.
I don't remember why I'm still here anyway, who am I talkin' to? But I'm glad you're all listenin'. I just happen to have that kind of talent.
So listen.
Okay?
Okay.
I had to admit while hearin' em talk about me like that brings me to tears, oh wait, I can't cry, I'm dead. L. O. L. to that.
But since this is an important part of the story, rather than you hearin' me talk about the people talk about me while I was still alive… I'll just let you attend my funeral.
First class seat, now ain't you just special.
I love you by the way.