Chapter 1

"GET UP RIDER!"

"GAH! . . . what the hell?"

Eugene Fitzherbert woke up groggy and startled as Captain James took pleasure in getting him out of bed. Eugene noticed there were two other guards with him. Why they were there he was not sure. Eugene figured they were there to take pleasure in watching the captain torment him.

"Don't you assholes ever sleep?" He asked rolling back over pulling the blankets up to his cheek.

"Nope, crime doesn't sleep and neither do I. Now out of bed you already missed first formation and pt. Since you are wasting my time, I will be wasting yours later this evening with extra duty."

"With all due respect, Top, I think I should be the least of your worries when it comes to pt. Some of your boys couldn't run if there was naked broad running in front of them." He stated arrogantly.

"Rider, don't make me drag your ass all the way down stairs and smoke the shit outta you in front of the whole kingdom."

The captain started dragging the blanket off of Eugene. Extremely annoyed already, Eugene started kicking at him.

"Uuuuugh…..alright, alright I'm up!"

"You've got five minutes to be in uniform and down stairs"

Eugene rolled his eyes and flipped him off when the captain walked away. He hated being part of the royal guards. Eugene did feel honored when he was asked to join, but it's just that the guards were….how to put this nicely….stupid.

He got dressed in a white, cotton, button up shirt, rolled the sleeves up past his elbows, threw on a pair of black pants, and a black pair of boots. He was never one for following orders, why should he start now?

Eugene had made the rank of Sargent unusually quick over the two years after he had returned Rapunzel home. The only reason Eugene made it to Sargent so quickly was because he was the only one that knew how to lead anyone without having to be trained. He was in charge of a squad which consisted of about twelve other soldiers, and he had the largest squad. Eugene's first sergeant made it that way because, honestly, Eugene wasn't the most liked person in the eyes of his superiors and felt they should give Eugene an enormous amount of responsibility. Even though it was his first sergeant that promoted Eugene, he secretly wanted to watch him fail. Eugene knew this, it was clear as day, but Eugene kept up with the tasks given to him bound and determined to not fail. He wasn't the over achiever type, but Eugene knew it just made his superiors more angry when he completed everything that was thrown his direction.

Not only did he have to keep track of twelve other soldiers, but he also had to write monthly counseling statements for each of them, conduct most of the training on his own, and make up the training schedule. If any of his guys got into trouble, which they did frequently, not only did they get into trouble, but Eugene got chewed out for it as well. Getting into trouble for someone else's stupidity and doing paperwork were two things he loathed with a passion. Unfortunately, those two actions occurred a lot, and with him being the lowest ranking sergeant, he had just enough rank to get an ungodly amount of responsibility, but not enough rank to have a say in anything. His superiors were not letting him move up in rank anymore, anytime soon.

Eugene finally made his way down stairs outside to the training yard. Everyone was either engaged in hand-to-hand fighting, security training, or crew drills for artillery. Eugene looked around to see where and what his squad was up to. They were practicing crew drills, miserably failing to at least attempt to work together. Eugene strolled up to the young soldier who was giving out commands but mixing them up causing him to back track which resulted in everyone's confusion. This young soldier was a corporal, one rank below Eugene, but nowhere near the experience. In fact it looked like the young man was fresh out of basic training.

"Stop…..stop….just stop." Corporal Conli jumped a little when he noticed Eugene leaning on the fence post. Eugene had his eyes closed rubbing his temples.

"First of all Conli, where is your cheat sheet I gave you?"

Conli's eyes avoid his squad leader's as he started rocking back and forth on his heels nervously; his hands were interlocked with each other behind his back.

"Um…I lost it-"

"Ya lost it… of course you did." He took deep breath. "Alright I'm going to write down for you again, but you are going to write it down 500 times for me and I want it in my hands by tomorrow morning. I want you to memorize those orders so much you are saying them in your sleep,"

"Taylor," Eugene turned to a new private to his right, "why are you standing in front of the cannon? Do you want to get hit?"

"Cal, you should be standing," Eugene grabbed the soldier by his shoulders, guiding him into position "here, right next to the cannon balls, so you can pass them to Blake, who should be here, in between Cal and the loaders who are Sage, and Lenny. You guys are getting better at loading the guns, but you need to slow it down. You guys try to go too fast on me and that's when you start to really screw up. Remember, slow is smooth and smooth is fast."

"Now Terry, you have got to get those coordinates right on your compass. If you are off just one centimeter here you are going to be off about a mile down range where it lands. You do that, and you take out somebody's house. If you can't handle it I can give someone else the position-"

"No!" Terry nearly jumped out of his seat when he replied. "I mean no, Sergeant, I'll get it. I promise I won't let you down."

"I hope not, because it's my ass if you take out a village." Eugene paused a moment to take a look around and realized half of his squad was missing. "How come there's only six of you where are my other six?"

"They are doing drills for clearing buildings, Sergeant"

'Great' Eugene thought, another training drill that his guys successfully failed at.

"Alright you guys keep going. I'm gonna go check on the other half of the squad."

Eugene ran over and watched his guys nearly kill each other with their rifles. Once they were done clearing the building, Eugene walked in looked around at the target dummies that were shredded from relentless firing upon. They were color coded so the soldiers knew which dummies were the enemy, ally forces, and civilians. After about five minutes of inspecting he came back out with a disgruntled look.

"You guys managed to kill every ally, and every civilian, yet leave the enemy alone. You made the enemy's job easier. You guys have no idea what you are doing do you?" He took a deep breath as he stared at them for a moment. "First of all none of you look like you know where you are going, and second of all you shot all the wrong targets. Red is the enemy, blue is the allied forces, and green are the civilians. We do know our colors, correct?"

His squad didn't say a word. They all looked rather drained due to lack of energy.

He sighed, "Go get some water and come back in five."

Eugene sat down on a nearby bench leaning his elbows on his knees and running his fingers through his hair. He thought over how he was going to get these guys in the shape they need to be. Why were they so poorly trained? After all of his responsibilities, Eugene was not able to train the men like he had wanted to. He could have so much planned for them if his superiors weren't such dicks to him. They wouldn't listen to reason.

"Hey Rider!"

"Fuck me." He mumbled under his breath. He didn't need to turn around to see who was calling him. That voice was unmistakable.

"Yeah, Top?" He answered unenthusiastically standing up to face him.

"Why are you not in your proper uniform?" Eugene looked at the captain like he was stupid.

"Seriously, your soldiers are the shittiest I have ever seen and you are going to bitch at me about my uniform?"

"You are the reason why my solders are horrible because they look at you, an NCO, not following proper protocol, or have any respect for rank higher than you."

"Their courteousness to authority is not the issue. You have guys that don't know how to properly aim a cannon and they are going to destroy a village; you have other guys who cannot tell the difference between our own guys and the enemy, and your soldiers cannot last in hand-to-hand fight because they are wearing themselves out due to the lack of endurance., and you are worried about I am wearing?

"Rider I have had enough of you and your mouth!" The captain grabbed Eugene by the collar as if scolding a child, and dragged him inside to where the King's office, not far from the training courtyard.

The Captain busted through the doors giving King Daniel a jolt as the doors violently flew open and Eugene was flung into the office. King Daniel, standing by his desk, just sighed pinching the bridge of his nose in dread.

"What is it this time?" The king asked dryly.

Daniel could have sworn they were father and son the way Eugene would rile the captain up and the way the captain scolded him. This was the third time this week Captain James brought Eugene to the king. King Daniel didn't want Eugene working in an office as he was more useful in the ways of tactics, planning missions, and using the element of surprise in war time. When King Daniel brought about the idea of Eugene joining the royal guards to the captain, he fought tooth and nail trying to convince the king that it was a horrible idea. Captain James did not trust Eugene any farther than he could throw him, and he knew it would cause nothing but trouble. King Daniel was starting to think that he was right.

"You're Majesty," the captain started; trying to keep his temper in check, "Please forgive me for my unorthodox entrance, but I am done trying to do anything with this . . . this . . . imbecile!"

The Captain's control over his temper was slowly waning. Eugene could see his face was turning multi- shades of red.

"It's not my fault you suck at your job." Eugene's tone was cool. He stood there shifting his weight to one side, picking at his nails.

The captain finally lost control.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I AM A CAPTAIN YOU WILL RESPECT ME!"

King Daniel interjected before the captain could get in another shout.

"Calm yourself, Captain."

"Yeah, Top, watch your blood pressure at your age it can be dangerous-"

Before Eugene could say anything more, the captain completely snapped and was about to put his hands around Eugene's neck, but the king got in between the two before the captain could fully outstretch his arms. The captain noticed the smirk on Eugene's face, but not only was it a smirk, he was…laughing. 'Was this Eugene's entertainment?' The captain thought.

King Daniel faced Captain James as calmly as he could.

"Why don't you go outside for a minute and cool off. I want to have a talk with Sgt. Fitzherbert."

The captain, still eyeing Eugene, walked out of the office, shutting the door behind him. King Daniel turned to face Eugene who still was wore a smirk on his face. He raised an eye brow.

"Eugene, wipe that look of your face before I do it for you."

Eugene looked down biting his lip trying very hard not to laugh. Eugene knew he was wrong for giving the captain so much hell especially these last few weeks. But when Eugene had tried hard, and do what he was told with no sarcastic remark, he still received a verbal lashings from the captain for whatever reason; sometimes no reason at all. Whatever Eugene did just never seemed good enough to the captain. So Eugene's logical thinking was if he was going to get in trouble for no reason he might as well give the captain a reason. Eugene eventually made it a game every day to see how quickly he could get the captain to boil over. The record so far has been one hour.

"What is going on with you? Why are you making James' life so difficult? Are you trying to get thrown out of here?" Eugene let out a chuckle and rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but your "star captain" is an idiot. Your troops are so badly trained that if someone declared war on us right now, you would have a better chance of surviving if you just threw up the white flag immediately."

King Daniel was taken by surprise at this statement.

"How do you figure?"

"Well as I attempted to explain to your captain, the troops have poor teamwork skills, they are more likely to shoot each other rather than the enemy, and they would not last five minutes in fight. It's pretty embarrassing."

Eugene thought back to when he took out a handful of troops with just a frying pan, including the captain. They were so easily beaten; it's as if they didn't even try to defend themselves. It was sad to watch.

"Well if you feel they are that poorly trained then I will put you in charge of training them and get them into shape."

"Sir, I already am."

King Daniel narrowed his eyes questioningly and tilted his head at him.

"I have been in charge of not only my own squad, which by the way consists of twelve soldiers, but I am in charge of coming up with the training schedule, the actual training, and getting these guys physically in shape, which is a feat all in itself. I don't have time to train these guys like they need to be, and no one will listen to me." The king rested his fist on his hip while stroking his mustache with the other. He slowly strolled back to his desk deep in thought.

Eugene continued. "Sir, I realize that being part of the guard was going to be a huge responsibility, and I…" Eugene paused as he chose his words carefully, "I am very appreciative of the trust you put into me, but seriously this is ridiculous. I am only one person. I physically cannot be everywhere at once which is what everybody expects me to do."

"Do you not have any other sergeants helping you out? Did the captain not appoint anyone to you that you could task out?" Eugene shook his head. "Hmm, that does pose as a problem."

After a few minutes of thinking, the king ordered Eugene to go back down stairs and bring the captain back up to talk with the both of them. Eugene went outside spotted him and whistled for him to come back. The captain hated whenever Eugene whistled for him. Not because he whistled, but it was the way that Eugene did it. He whistled like he was calling a dog. Eugene might as well have thrown in the 'C'mon boy c'mon.'

The captain had just rolled a cigarette when Eugene whistled for him. He was going to ignore the annoying little bastard, but then realized the king was the one that wanted him. He put the cigarette in his pocket and strolled up the stairs and into the office once more, this time, a little less agitated.

"Captain, I have been informed of the large amount of responsibility put on Sgt. Fitzherbert. You will be pleased to know that you will no longer be in charge of him." The king stated.

Confused looks came across both of their faces.

"Sgt. Fitzherbert will be strictly in charge of making up the training schedule, and training the men. That is all. He will be taking all orders from me and only me." The captain was shocked.

"Sire, I am not trying to question your authority, but do you really trust Rider to do his job with hardly any supervision?"

"Says the man who lost the princess for eighteen years."

Rage shot through the captain; his blood came to a boil. He slowly turned to Eugene.

"How DARE you insult me like that!"

"Hey all I am saying is that it is just a little odd for a multi-century old woman to, quietly sneak through the village, climb up a tower to the bed chamber of the princess, which I might add is about seventy feet high, grab the princess, climb back down, get out of town undetected, and climb up another tower, which was less than twenty miles outside of town, all while carrying an infant. Now tell me that doesn't sound like an inside job to you."

James' fists were clenched with rage; his body shook, yet still kept his voice calm.

"Are you accusing me of the kidnapping our own princess?" That's when Daniel stepped in.

"Eugene what is wrong with you James would die protecting my daughter." His voice was full of shock. He almost felt insulted for the captain.

It was true. Captain James had carried all the responsibility of Rapunzel's disappearance for nearly two decades, and it wore on him greatly. It put him into a depression for quite a few years, to the point that he became an alcoholic. The king had to nearly relieve him of his duties after causing a huge fight over at the local tavern which nearly burnt down due to the brawl. That was James's wakeup call and realized he had better get it together. Eventually James made it his soul mission in life was all of his rage concentrated on capturing the infamous Flynn Rider. It gave James an outlet to channel all of his anger.

Eugene put up his hands in defense.

"I didn't say you made it happen. I just think it's a little strange how no one was able to even catch a glimpse of this woman let alone be able to keep up with her to find out where she was hiding."

"Rider wasn't it you who said and I quote 'my boys couldn't run even if there was a naked broad running front of them?'" Daniel looked to Eugene appalled at how he could say something that crude, but then realized, that's Eugene. He just says whatever comes to his mind.

"Are you telling me your men can't even keep up with a five hundred year old woman?"

With that the captain stormed out of the office, letting out a groan of frustration, throwing his hands in the air and slamming the door shut as made his exit. Daniel and Eugene were left staring at the door and then staring at each other. King Daniel crossed his arms in front of him resting his head on his fist. With frustration and exhaustion in his voice he asked Eugene.

"You already upset him once today, why did you go and do that?"

"I didn't do anything."

"You accused him of kidnapping Rapunzel."

"Nooo, I simply just stated what I thought was a very obvious fact. That fact the he got angry was not my doing. Don't worry he'll get over it."

Daniel sat behind his desk resting elbows on top, hands folded together in front of his face. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes trying to calm himself.

"You know what…Eugene how about you take the rest day off. Go relax, find Rapunzel. Honestly I would rather you be around her than the captain."

King Daniel was still leery on letting him be around his daughter so much, but today he will make an exception. He was afraid that if Eugene and James were around each other any longer that by the end of the day someone would come back a bloody mess and the other would be missing. He told Eugene to go outside and call for the captain to let him know he had the day off as well. Eugene opened the window facing the courtyard, stuck his head out the window, and cupped his hand around his mouth.

"HEY TOP! THE KING WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!"

'OK now he is just being an ass.' Daniel thought. "Eugene I could have done that. I said go outside and get him not yell outside my window."

Eugene opened his mouth to rebuttal, but with a quick snap of the king's fingers, he pointed to the door.

"Get out!" Eugene quickly left chuckling on his way out.