This story is set in an alternative universe where Voldemort died when he tried to kill Harry as a baby. This story starts from where Harry enters first year, but will be focused on Snape.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. This story is entirely fictional and is based on my own experiences. Reviews and/or comments would be greatly appreciated as I am loving this story and it is a pleasure to write. Enjoy.
Italics are thoughts.
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6AM
Severus rose to the chiming sound of his alarm. Having being raised in the muggle world, he had always used an alarm clock, but it had only been since when he was in his fourth year that he had started to rise so early.
Fourth year
Severus rubbed his hands over his eyes with that thought. No he could not, would not, go back to his old habits. He knew he had been lucky, nobody had questioned his changed eating patterns. Nobody ever saw the now pink and white lines covering his stomach.
He was a smart man, and he knew enough about mental health to know that diagnostically he had showed all the signs of an Eating disorder throughout his fourth and fifth years at the school. It was still there, nagging, yelling, screaming. But he had it under control.
His mother Eileen had died from her Eating disorder. It was just before he started his fourth year, but he couldn't remember her ever being healthy. Nobody but Albus and Minerva knew the truth, everybody else had been told that she died of severe phenomena. Years of the disease wore her body down. It had devastated Severus, and he too fell down that rocky path. Everyone assumed the changes were because he was grieving. And as usual everybody forgot about him. He was no James Potter or Sirius Black, who seemed to be the heroes of the school. Quiet, talented and friendless except for the then Lily Evans nobody, not even Lily had seen through his mask. Sometimes he wondered, what would have happened if someone had found out. If someone had cared enough.
I don't need them anyway, I'm fine, it doesn't matter
Every year it became harder to fight the urges. The behaviours that although damaging, had made him feel ok. Too a point.
Eating had become harder lately, and as much as he hated to admit it to himself, the weight loss was providing its own kind of high. Dumbledore would be too busy looking out for her child. Nobody would notice.
Just this once. It will be okay, just this once.