Authors note: While I know I really should stick to finishing Falling to Quickly, this idea came to me a day or so ago and it just stuck in my head. Basically, Schue gives the Glee club an assignment to write down the lie they regret most and explore the reasons behind it, why they regret it, etcetera. Most of the lies are obviously lies, but some were actually things said in the show I decided to make a lie. Why? Because I like manipulating the system, that's why. Haha. Actually, because I ship mostly non-canon couples, I decided to make some things lies to advocate the couples I ship. And while no one actually gets together with the person they're in love with in the story (it's a Midsummer's Night Dream love web), I like the idea of the Glee Club all being unrequitedly in love with each other.

And without further ado, may I present to you the first lie essay, or whatever you'd like to call it. For no other reason than I absolutely love her, Quinn goes first. After that, though, the order will be random. Just whoever I felt like writing at the moment.

So yeah. Enjoy.

QUINN

"Ask Jeeves said a hot tub is the perfect temperature for sperm. It… it helps it to swim faster."

We all know that's the lie I regret most, right? Was it even necessary for me to write it down? I thought not.

And no, for those of you who are confused, telling Finn Ask Jeeves said hot tubs help sperm swim faster is not the lie I regret most in itself. To me, this one lie encompassed the whole thing, the whole elaborate lie I concocted to try and keep Finn. Once I had said this, it was impossible to go back. I couldn't tell Finn that it was actually Puck that knocked me up after this. At least, I couldn't if I had any hope that he may forgive me for cheating on him.

Maybe I should have stopped the moment Finn swallowed the lie about the hot tub. Okay, so yeah, maybe is stupid. I should have, we all know it. I didn't need to go ahead and take further advantage of his limited intelligence. I knew if I said Ask Jeeves had information backing up this possibility, he would have no doubts that I was pregnant by his child.

I know right now you all think I'm horrible. Well, truth is, I am. I won't deny it. No one should lie to their boyfriend about something like this. I knew that. And I went ahead and did it anyway. Some Christian I am.

You're also thinking I'm a selfish little brat. On that point, however, I would beg to differ. Was I a brat once? Yeah. But I stopped when I found out I was pregnant. Even if I still was a bitch, I wasn't self-absorbed enough to think I had done no wrong.

Was I selfish by lying to Finn? On the outside, it appears so. It would make sense that the only reason I told him it was his daughter I was carrying so he would stay with me. And that was part of it, I admit. Finn is a great guy, and he was an amazing boyfriend to me, even when I didn't deserve him. Maybe after all he gave me, I should have just let him go, spared him some of the pain. But I loved him far too much.

Hell, I'm still in love with him. Even as I look up and see Sam sprawled on the floor of my room, writing his own regrets down, I still love Finn. But he doesn't love me anymore. He does love Rachel, and she loves him. They deserve each other. I'm not going to screw his life up anymore.

But anyway. There is another reason I lied to Finn. And no, it has nothing to do with retaining popularity, etcetera.

I wanted my baby to have a good dad. Whatever Puck said, whatever he did, he's never going to be a good dad. Or at least he won't be in high school. Finn, although not exactly what anyone would call bright, is going to be an excellent father some day. He's kind, compassionate, understanding, loving, and a whole bunch of other things little girls need their dads to be. And while I think I always knew deep down I was going to give Beth up, I still wanted it to be Finn believing she was his. I wanted to think the man I chose to be her dad was a good one, even if she would never know him.

That probably makes no sense to you. That's okay, though. It doesn't need to. You might think I'm just making excuses for the horrible lie I told. You probably think I should still be seeking forgiveness from Finn and all the other people I hurt in the mess I created. But I don't think I need to, not anymore. There will always going to be someone who judges me for my mistakes, but I'm not going to let that get to me. I've finally forgiven myself, and that's what really matters, I think. And while I'm always going to wish I would have told Finn I cheated on him to begin with, I can't go back and change what I did. The past is past.

So yeah. Even if I don't really need to say this, telling Finn my baby was his is the lie I most regret. I'm going to regret it every day of my life. But even so, I've moved on, because life isn't going to stop. I've just embraced it and made myself stronger for the situation I put myself in.

And that's all that really matters in the end, I think.

Love? Hate? Mixed feelings? Review!