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warning(s):spoilers for Rai's good end and Asato's route
a/n1: heya, this story has been in my mind since I finished Rai's route, but this one ended up finished after my previous one. this story sets after Rai's good end, focusing on onesided asakono
a/n2: you see, every time I play a visual novel I would always wonder how they would end up when the protagonist took another's route. their conflict could have never been solved without the protagonist taking their route or they just solve it by themselves or any other. and it always puts me in despair thinking about that /sobs.
a/n3: I hope you enjoy this headcanon.
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Inaudible Sorrow
Lamento ―BEYOND THE VOID― © Nitro+Chiral
This is a work of fanfiction, simply written for the purpose of enjoyment and entertainment. I gain no financial profit from writing this.
After sleeping for so long, the thing that wakes you up...is his voice.
That soft, mellifluous tune, with a hint of power in each rhythm; which you have always longed for, the song which you yearn to be sung only for you. For that song to be yours, is your heart most desire which you know is unattainable. Because it never has, and never will.
How long has it been? A year? Two years? No, it's probably even more than that. You miss that voice. The voice which has become your salvation since long ago, pulled you out from your cage, but soon disappeared with the light.
But now, after living for a long while with his absent...he returned. Does that mean he wants you now? Is it finally your time?
"Rai!"
No... Your memory's a little fuzzy, but you know, that's not your name.
Does that mean, the song just now, it wasn't for you? You thought it's finally your turn.
How silly.
But of course, you are a monster.
You are a blood thirst monster who would attack any living creature around and kill them and crush them and let yourself covered by their blood.
There's no way a monster like you would be noticed by the kind, kind him. He's the first cat who looked at you without that ruthless glare, he talked to you as if you're normal, as if you're just a...cat. He is weird, a weird cat. But you don't dislike it. You like the time you were with him, just sitting quietly under the flickering blaze; silent, and yet comfortable.
"Wait, Rai! Something's strange!"
The light slowly slipped through your eyes. That never ending slumber is coming to its end now. The first thing that comes to your sight is that figure; smaller than you remembered, prettier than you believed. The rest is still the same as the last time you met him; powerful honey-coloured eyes, white fur with a hint of brown at the tip of his ears and tail peeking under his coat.
The pale green lights surrounding him disappear into thin air. He stops singing and runs towards another ribika which wasn't in your field of view before. This cat has his blades up and sharp menacing eyes piercing through you.
Why is he here, too?
"This beast seems different than before!"
Does he...realise?
Does he realise that you reside in this form of a ferocious beast?
... No. That's impossible.
He called you pretty once, he complimented your fur.
But, that pretty fur has changed to ugly coarse fur. A hideous beast with intimidating fangs and big claws.
This ugly monster doesn't have a place in Sisa.
"What are you doing, stupid cat!?"
He takes one careful step.
Another step.
And another step. He reaches out his arm.
He's slowly approaching you, with his hand held out. His flattened ears twitch when you slowly lean forward unconsciously.
"Oi, Konoe!"
But, he doesn't pull back.
He carefully put his hand on your cheek, slowly stroking it as if he's checking whether you're okay with it. He sighs in relief when you purr at his touch. His tail sways gently left and right. This time, he raises his other hand to your fur and strokes it.
You shouldn't have let him approach you.
You shouldn't have let him touch your ugly fur.
But, you long for his touch. You have always wanted that hand to touch you, to share his warmth in an embrace, but you fathom that he will never be yours. And thus, you let yourself indulge in this sweet ephemeral moment before it becomes unviable.
"Those clear dark blue eyes... I know I've seen them before... He's harmless, we shouldn't kill it."
Is it all right for you to think he recognises this consciousness lying deep inside? Is it all right for you to hope that you still have the chance to live normally even with this form?
If he recognises you, he could tell the others that you never have the intention to hurt anyone. If he is with you, you believe you can keep yourself under control. It will be okay, you will not attack people anymore. The forest is a good place to live now, you can live here with him and everything will be okay.
If Konoe is here, I can do anything.
"Are you stupid? Its head couldn't have worth that much for nothing. Think for a second."
"But..."
... That white cat's right. You don't have control over your own body all this time. There's no promise it will go without problem in the future. You're dangerous and shouldn't be spared. It's all in a haze, but you know, you took away the lives of your fellow Kirans who were sent to pursue you, and they died without you even remembering how it happened. Not only them; even those innocent lives who passed through the forest and met you by unfortunate chance had to give up their lives.
"Ugh―! What's this pain!?"
The lives that had been lost can't return. There is no way for you to atone, but there is a way, to prevent more victims.
I'm sorry, Konoe.
You raised your arm in a sudden movement.
Protect Konoe, Rai.
You swing that arm down, aiming for him. His eyes widen and a gasp escapes his mouth.
You can't feel your right arm.
Ah, so it's been detached by that white cat before it reaches him.
"Wait, Rai! Stop, he is―"
Another slash on your abdomen. You could've dodged this one, but you didn't. Resisting has never been your intention from the beginning. This is the outcome you're aiming for.
The second wound numbs all your senses. As expected from him, you recall how you detested that white cat before―and probably, even now―for treating him badly. But you understand, even with that treatment, he is the only one for him then and now.
Time stopped.
...at least for you.
You fall to the ground, a loud crash resounds throughout the forest. Your body feels numb. You can't even feel the breeze against your body. The pool of blood quickly forms around you, a fitting end for a slaughterer like you.
Everything happens in a slow motion, you never know this is what it feels like to die. He approaches you, one hand on his chest (is he hurt?), and another on you. What a shame, he's touching you right now, and yet you can feel nothing.
Your vision starts to blur, even the beautiful him starts to disappear in the darkness. This is the right end for you. You should be killed while you still have control over yourself. That way, you can make sure you there are no more lives taken.
You don't want to harm anyone anymore.
Death takes away your ability of touch first, followed by the ability to see. What's left alive until the end...is the ability to hear.
"No... No! Wake up!"
His voice is so pleasing, you've always wanted that voice to sing only for you. It's a relief that you can still hear when you're dying. You may not be able to see anymore now, or feel his touch. But his voice is enough to accompany until your last breath.
You just wished you could hear that voice call out your name once more...
"―Asato!"
... Are you deluding?
Isn't it your name?
Is this what happens when you're near death?
"Asato, wake up!"
No, it's real. It's not a delusion. He sees through this mask of a vicious monster and recognises you sleeping deep down inside.
Konoe really is...amazing.
You want to stay awake, even without your other senses working, having only your ability to hear is tolerable. You don't mind. As long as this voice calls only your name, talks only to you, you don't mind living just a little longer in this state.
... Just a little longer.
"―to... Asa..."
This is bad.
His voice is...fading.
Has he stopped calling for you?
Or is it your end?
Is it...ending?
You...don't want to die yet, after all.
Death is terrifying.
You want to be saved.
Konoe... Save me...
Slowly, his voice disappears completely...
...as your consciousness fades into the void.
End.
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a/n4: I hope you understand how Konoe realises the beast was Asato, I―I didn't write it down the reason explicitly since this is in Asato's pov, but I do give the hints heh.
a/n5: thank you for reading until the end! love you lots.
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