Belle's Sacrifice
A/AN: I know that I'm not the only one disappointed with tonight's episode. So much build up for nothing! UGH! I'm writing this to get rid of all my frustrations. I know it isn't canon, but I hope it touches you in some way because let's face it … The writers are NEVER going to give us what we want.
Rumplestiltskin ran his fingers over the smooth stone edges of the well, his mind wandering back to the day she'd stumbled into his shop after twenty-eight long years of believing she was dead. It felt like he was seeing an apparition because it couldn't be true. Regina had told him she'd thrown herself off the tower, and there she was, right in front of him as if she'd never left. He wanted to crush her to his chest and never let go while whispering a thousand "I love you's" in her ear.
He sighed, recounting all of the moments they'd shared: the good and the bad. He remembered their wedding day, how she'd sincerely recited each vow, promising him forever, and he felt guilt wash over him. He'd never been the man Belle deserved. He never would be. His mind enveloped itself in insecurity which he couldn't seem to let go of. He looked down at the bottom of the well, wondering if this venture was even worth it. He knew that he deserved to be at the bottom of it. He was rubbish. Belle wasn't coming. What was he thinking? Thoughts of hurling himself into its murky depths were halted when he heard soft footfalls from behind. He spun around, astonished to see her standing there.
He gazed at her soft chestnut tresses draped over her pink pea coat. "You did it! You won," she remarked with a proud look adorning her face.
A smile spread across his lips, the knot in his chest relaxing in sweet relief. "And you came … Oh Belle! I'm so glad you're here! I'm ready to do this right and put the past behind us!" he declared joyfully, fighting off the urge to wrap her in his arms. He didn't want to be too forward. They needed to take things slowly, and work on mending their relationship.
The lax knot in his chest tightened as she placed her hands gently on his shoulders. "Rumple … This isn't easy for me," she paused sucking in a deep breath, her heart full of trepidation. "I love you, and some part of me will always love you, but you've broken my heart too many times. There's too much broken trust," she said resignedly, the brokenness in his eyes making this ten times harder than she expected, but she had to do it. It was for his safety.
There could never be a future for them with Hook in the background. He'd threatened to take away her beloved's life if she didn't go through with this. He'd forced her into a deal that if she left town that he would spare Rumple's life.
"But … I've changed. My heart is pure now," he reasoned, pleading with her to understand, his voice breaking. She had to know he meant it. She had to believe he would never revert back to the darkness, not when he could love her wholly now. He had no reason to want the power anymore. She was all he desired.
"Yeah, you have, and it is. You're the man I've always hoped you would be." She half smiled, realizing the irony of her statement and how it didn't befit the situation.
"Then why are you doing this now? Now we have a chance to make this work!" he expounded fluidly with his spinner's hands.
"I don't know if I want to make it work," she lied, stifling back the tears prickling at her eyes. He held up his hands to caress her face, but she halted him, knowing that she would break the moment he touched her. She had to keep up the facade if she wanted to save his life. It was the only way.
"I do know that if I'm going to try and figure that out, that I need to do that on my own. I have spent too many years trying to mend your heart. Now I need to protect mine," she lied, putting more distance between them.
"Belle, please!" he whimpered. She turned away quickly before he figured out it was all a ruse. She walked away briskly and then sprinted the entire way back, the tears falling in rivulets from her eyes. She didn't try to hold them back, finding solace by a nearby tree stump, she cried herself empty.
~X~
Rumplestiltskin stared emptily into the distance, feeling hollow inside. It hadn't even been a year and he'd lost everything he'd ever loved. His son hadn't even been dead two months when his true love had banished him. In the entirety of the six weeks he was gone, all he'd longed to do was to come home to her. He would've been perfectly content loving her from afar if it meant she was happy. All he desired was her happiness and if this was what made her happy, then he would learn to live with it. He knew that he would never truly fit in with the heroes, but he would continue on this path of redemption if it would make her proud and perhaps someday she would return to him. He would hope for that with the last beat of his heart.
He inhaled the brisk night air deeply before turning towards the path to the cabin. He couldn't bring himself to return to the Victorian when her presence still lingered there. He walked what felt like hours until he saw it in the distance. He trudged up the steps as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders, praying that the spare key was still where he'd left it. He sighed in relief when he discovered it in a secret hatch he kept it in under the steps. He jammed the key in the lock, pushing it open effortlessly.
Exhaustion overtook him, and he barely made it to the couch before falling into a restless slumber with only her beautiful face staring back at him somberly, her last words still ringing in his ears. A single tear trekked its way from the corner of his eye to be lost … lost as his heart now was.
~X~
When Belle finally made it out of the woods, it was almost midnight. She'd cried for hours, more than she ever had before, until she was a hollow shell of the woman she'd once been. She tore herself away from the stump her legs had cemented themselves to. She pushed through the underbrush until she could see the brown Cadillac parked in the distance. Her limbs felt like wet noodles which refused to budge, and she'd retched three times on her way to the car until there was nothing left in her stomach. The backseat was already full of her belongings, and in the glove compartment was a forget me potion she would take once she reached the town line. It would make all of this much more bearable, but she knew that she would always have this lingering emptiness inside, and she was certain that part of her would always question what it was. Nothing would ever fill the void loving Rumplestiltskin had left behind.
Belle jammed her key into the ignition and the engine roared to life. She inhaled the faint scent of his earthy cologne that still lingered in the air. She forced back more tears which threatened to fall. She had to be strong. She was doing all of this to save his life and give him his best chance. She pulled out onto the quiet highway, thankful that the town line was only three miles away.
She stepped on the gas and steadily increased her speed, training her mind on the parallel lines that extended in front of her. She turned on the radio, blaring music she wouldn't typically listen to just to keep him off her mind. She knew that if she thought of him just once that she would lose all of her resolve to go through with this. The "Now Leaving Storybrooke" sign appeared in the distance, becoming clearer the closer she got. She stopped the car just feet from the town line and reached into the glove compartment, retrieving the vial of potion. Tears prickled behind her eyes as she uncorked the potion, the glowing blue liquid mocking her. She squeezed her eyes shut, knowing that she would forget her reason to cry once she drank it.
"You know you don't want to do that." a feminine voice spoke smoothly gaining her attention. Belle opened her eyes to see Emma sitting in the passenger seat, masquerading the appearance of two traveling companions about to go on a long journey together. She felt a surge of anger course through her as she stared coldly at the Dark One.
"Are you here to mock me more, Dark One!? Can't you just leave me be?! I'm doing exactly what you wanted. I'm leaving town to save his life! I'm doing this to end his suffering!" she spat out vehemently, unaware of the angry tears now coursing down her face.
"I'm not here to hurt you, Belle. I'm here to help you and give back something I stole from you," she spoke calmly, pulling the dream catcher out of her leather coat.
"What more could you have taken? Your boyfriend has already threatened to take the life of my true love if I don't leave town. We can never be together because he'll die if I stay. I'm giving him his best chance by leaving so be gone, Dark One! I have no use for what you're offering!" Belle remarked icily, ready to be done with this venture.
"Please … Let me return your memories. This dream catcher holds the events of the prior six weeks. If you allow me to return them, and still don't want to stay, then I won't stop you from leaving. This isn't the doing of the Dark One, just Emma Swan," Emma reasoned with a pleading look in her eyes.
"Fine! I know you won't leave me alone unless I agree, so get on with it!" the beauty snarled, growing weary of everyone standing in her way.
"I promise you'll have a clearer perspective once I do this," Emma assured her. Belle let out an exasperated sigh as she turned to face the dark swan.
Emma held the beaded dream catcher in front of her, waving her hand over it. A wave of nostalgia consumed Belle's senses as Emma released her memories. It was like a dam broke as her subconscious consumed them. She felt like a parched man in the desert as she clung to each one.
Images flashed in her mind of a glass bell jar which held an enchanted rose connected to her beloved's life. A grumpy dwarf appeared conversing with her at a Camelot ball about never losing hope in the ones you love. The scene quickly changed to something more intimate that she'd been unable to recall. She sighed with pleasure as she felt his nimble fingers sliding over her supple skin on their wedding night, causing her to feel a slew of emotions that had been lost in her memory until now. Bits and pieces of her life in the Dark Castle emerged of her early life spent with Rumplestiltskin and how the origins of their bond began. Cleaning and toiling for her master had brought her more fulfillment in her life than being a princess ever had. New memories, lost memories … they all swirled together, leaving her dazed.
She felt her breath hitch in her throat as her mind pieced each memory back together, filing them in their proper compartments.
The vial of forget me potion she was holding fell from her hands, discoloring the carpet. The remnants of the dream catcher faded, bringing the contours of Emma's glittery face into view. "Thank you," the beauty stammered, trying to stabilize her rickety emotions, leaning back into the seat.
"You're welcome, and now that you know everything, you have the freedom to make your own choice. I'll gladly give you another potion if it'll ease your pain and you choose to continue on this venture," Emma offered with another potion in hand.
"You make it sound so easy, and if it were, I wouldn't have ever lied to my husband about not wanting to be with him. Killian told me that if I didn't leave Storybrooke, he would kill Rumple. I can't watch him die again, Emma. Leaving is my only option," Belle breathed resignedly, feeling the last remaining embers of hope snuff out.
Emma's gaze faltered, and she let out an exasperated sigh. She closed her eyes leaning back in the passenger seat, "You won't have to worry about him anymore, Belle. None of us will," she replied, puzzling the beauty's mind.
"What do you mean?" Belle inquired carefully, still wary of being in such close proximity to the Dark One.
"I killed him … I had no choice. He was going to use Rumple's blood from their duel to open up a portal to the underworld that would release all the former Dark Ones. He wasn't the same man anymore, and whatever was left of Hook's heart was consumed by the darkness. The only thing he still cared about was vengeance, and I wasn't going to let him hurt my family. He may have looked like Hook, but I knew that what was left of that man was gone. I ran him through with Excalibur before he could enact his revenge. He just laughed at me while I did it. He had no remorse!" Emma jeered with hot angry tears coursing down her face.
"Emma I have no words, for you made a great sacrifice for all of us. Killian was already full of the darkness before you met him. He'd performed ghastly deeds, and the curse only amplified that darkness. Rumple was cursed for nearly three hundred years and chose power countless times, but somehow he clung to what little love was left inside his heart. I don't know how he held on for so long, but I know why Killian chose power over love. It's because the curse is soul crushing. It brings out the darkest parts within someone. I believe he did love you, but he let the power blind him. You haven't given in to the darkness though, Emma. You've fought it, and I know that your efforts won't go unrewarded. There is happiness for you out there somewhere. I truly believe that," Belle supplied clasping the savior's hand.
Emma nodded, squeezing the other woman's hand lightly, "You should go to him, Belle. He's waiting for you at the cabin. Don't ever let his choice be in vain. Thank your lucky stars that he had enough strength to choose you over the darkness." A haze of crimson smoke filled the Cadillac, leaving her alone again. A new determination filled Belle Gold's heart as she put the car in reverse and sped away towards the cabin to reunite with her beloved.
~X~
Rumplestiltskin wasn't aware of the clicking lock, the creaking door or the soft footfalls of the person that had entered his dwelling. He sighed pleasantly when he felt nimble fingers dust past his jawline. "Belle … " he muttered softly, her name a prayer on his lips. He only opened his eyes when he felt her downy tresses tickling his face, her tears baptizing his silk shirt.
"Belle!" he exclaimed with realization, forcing himself to sit up. She buried her face in his lap, sobbing uncontrollably for the third time that day.
"Rumple … I'm sorry! I'm so sorry I hurt you!" she hiccuped between sobs, unable to compose herself.
"Why did you come back?" He uttered the same question he'd asked her the day she returned to the Dark Castle with the straw he'd sent her for. The memory assaulted her when she gazed up at his inquisitive eyes with tears still blurring her vision.
"I wasn't going to. I was at the town line when Emma showed up with a dreamcatcher that contained my lost memories. I was about to drink a forget me potion to banish you from my mind forever because Killian threatened your life if I stayed. I couldn't watch you die again, Rumple! I wanted to give you your best chance, and I knew that if I told you the truth, you would've tried to stop me. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and the only reason I'm able to be here is because Emma killed him. He's no longer a threat to us, Rumple … We can finally be together," she breathed brokenly between sobs.
He sat quietly for a while, meditating on her confession, his face contorted into an unreadable expression. Her heart sank at the realization that it might be too late, and that she'd finally pushed him away for the last time. She forced herself to stand, ready to walk away when he grabbed her hand, pulling her to him.
He embraced her tightly, burying his face in her neck, inhaling her precious scent. "I have no words for what you've done for me, sweetheart. There's nothing I can say that would change anything except what I said earlier at the well. Let me be the man you deserve. Allow me to love you wholly without the darkness interfering. Be mine forever," he breathed against her skin, sending a shiver down her spine.
"Forever, I promise," she muttered, sucking in a deep breath as he peppered her collarbone with kisses. They both collapsed on the sofa, slowly falling into marital bliss as they truly saw each other for the first time, without fear or lies or darkness to come between them. Their eyes as well as their hearts were open to each other, hope for a new future on the horizon. All they had to do was grab hold and embrace it.
A/AN: I hope everyone enjoyed that! Thank you Charlotte Ashmore for prompting this fic! It has been a joy to write for you! I hope you enjoyed it as well as everyone else! Please review!