This story begins midway into season 8. Everything about Jackson and April's past is canon but the story will take a different route than the show did. This story will have about 4 parts. Here's the first installment.
Disclaimer: I own nothing! No copyright infringement intended.
The Weight of Expectation
Part 1: Confusion
Joe's bar was bustling when Jackson Avery walked in. He could barely hear himself think over the noise. He had gone home after work to study with April, but when he didn't find her there, he ended up falling asleep on the couch with a medical journal in his hand. It was his phone that woke him. An unfamiliar number showed on his caller ID. When he answered, it was Joe on the other end, telling him that he might want to come down and get April since she'd had too much to drink. Jackson rushed out of their apartment immediately.
He'd found April sitting at the bar, smiling into an empty glass. "Fill me up Joe!" She shouted over the music.
"You're done for the night, April. Sorry," the bartender told her.
April's mouth fell open. "Hey! I'm a paying customer!"
"April." Jackson came up beside her. "I think you've had enough."
"Jackson! My friend! Mis amigo!" She nudged him with her elbow in his side.
"Come on," he said, pulling her to her feet. She stumbled and fell into him.
He heard her sigh loudly. "I can go to sleep right here," she said, pressing her head to his chest.
Jackson threw a thank you in Joe's direction and and guided April out of the bar. It was cool and wet outside, a result of the week of rain the city had experienced.
April shivered. "It's a cold, cold world," she crooned as Jackson put her into the passenger side seat of his car. He buckled her in and then went around to the drivers side.
In the many years that Jackson had known April, he'd never seen her drunk. Sure he'd seen her tipsy and a little giggly, and he'd seen her buzzed and a little sulky, but he'd never seen her fall down, out of her mind, won't remember any of this in the morning drunk before. Until now.
She rolled her window down and let the chilled air rush in. Her red curls blew around her face. She turned to him. "Do you ever feel like your best isn't enough?" she asked softly. All the rambunctious drunkenness gone for the moment.
He glanced at her and then back to the road. "Sometimes. All doctors do sometimes."
April sat back, her head lolling against the headrest and seemed to mull something over. They rode the rest of the way home in silence.
Jackson parked then went to the passenger side to pull April out of the car. He attempted to pick her up and carry her to the apartment to make the walk easier on both of them, but April refused, claiming that she was not drunk and that she wouldn't be treated like she was incapable of walking to her own apartment. He would have insisted but her voice had become loud and assertive and he didn't want to draw the attention of the neighbors. So he bared her weight to his side and looped his arm around her waist to help keep her balanced. They were doing okay until they got to the elevator. A guy who lived a few doors down from them stepped inside behind them, drawing April's attention.
"Hi, Mr. Elevator Man," she drew out the last word, placing unnecessary importance on it.
"April," Jackson said, trying to make his voice stern and reproachful and failing miserably at it.
"Shhh," she replied, pointedly directing her eyes to their neighbor. "Mr. Elevator Man might hear you."
The laugh that followed was ridiculously high pitched and cute. Jackson couldn't help his short burst of laughter that he tried to cover with a cough.
Their neighbor looked back at them clearly annoyed.
Jackson straightened up. "I apologize for my friend, she's... inebriated."
"Hey!" April barked. She pointed a finger at Jackson, narrowing her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with my knees."
Jackson's brows furrowed and their neighbor looked away, shaking his head. "I didn't say… You know what? Let's just get you home."
The elevator dinged at the fifth floor and Jackson maneuvered them to their apartment door. By this time, April had become handsy. She was grabbing at his shirt and one of her hands kept gliding down to his waist and then back up to his chest. He hadn't put too much thought into the touching until they reached the door and her hand slipped under his shirt and landed cool against the heated skin of his lower abdomen. Then he couldn't think about anything but her touching him, and how her hand was sending blood to a place that it shouldn't be going.
"April," Jackson said, cautiously removing her hand from under his shirt. She didn't seem to notice how his voice had deepened, how he looked a little closer at her, how he let his eyes roam over her slight frame before snapping out of whatever trance her hand against his skin had put him in. "You're blocking the door."
"Am I?" she asked dreamily. Her body swayed to an unheard beat, and again, he was entranced.
This had been a thing with him lately. April could do the slightest of things and he'd become so engrossed in it that he'd lose himself. More than once, he'd caught himself staring at her for too long. At first he'd blamed it on the lack of female presence in his life. Aside from April, he hadn't been in the lone company of a woman since his mom had played match maker with a junior urologist. But as time went on and this weird vibe persisted, Jackson wasn't so sure about that being the reason.
Jackson reached past April to unlock the door. "Alright," he said swinging the door open and leaving room for her to pass into their apartment. April crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips. Was she... no she wasn't, but?
"But I don't want to go in," she whined.
Yes, she was. April was pouting. Jackson shook his head then bent down to swiftly pick April up. He flung her face first over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, securing her with his arm around the back of her knees.
April squealed and laughed uncontrollably. She shoved her hand into his back pocket and yanked his wallet out. "Jackson Avery," she said.
Jackson kicked the door closed with the heel of his shoe. "You're so drunk," he responded, hearing his wallet fall to the hardwood floor.
He took her to her room and deposited her onto her overly fluffed bed. She fell back with a bounce. "Woo!"
"You're going to hate yourself in the morning. Hate," he repeated as he slipped her shoes off. Her toes were painted red. She wiggled them and settled into her very frilly, fluffy and pillowy bed. Jackson tried to imagine how she found room enough to sleep but that thought quickly wandered into non best friend territory so he shook the thought of April on a bed away. "Goodnight, April." He turned to leave.
"Jackson?" Her voice had gone from boisterous to soft. He stopped.
"Yeah?"
"We're best friends, right?"
"Of course."
"If I don't have anyone else, I have you?"
"Any time."
She reached her hand out to him. He took it and she pulled him down into her bed. "I don't have a date to my little sister's wedding."
"Alice is getting married?" He asked, surprised. Besides April, Alice was the only unmarried daughter her parents had. She was the baby of the family.
April nodded, tears welling in her eyes. "Little Alice is getting married," she said, her voice small and sad.
She looked defeated and he wanted to comfort her. He didn't know exactly what upset her about Alice getting married though he could imagine a few reasons, but he did know how to make her feel better. Jackson wrapped an arm around April's shoulder and pulled her to him. She settled her head beneath his chin. "Hey, I'll be your date," he told her.
"Who knows where we'll end up after boards." It was true. They would most likely all go their separate ways. Offers were already coming in from top programs in the country. Tulaine and Emery both wanted him and April had more than a few prospects after her, Case Western being the one she was leaning most toward.
"It doesn't matter where I am, April. You can call me and I'll be there."
She sniffed and smiled up at him. "You're a great friend, Jackson Avery." After a long silence, she asked "Do you wanna hear about my pig in Moline?"
Not what he'd expected her to say but anything was better than tears. "Sure."
They relaxed onto the mound of pillows.
"Everyone says pigs are stupid because they have these tiny, little pea brains, but my pig, he's sooo smart. He's avoided slaughter for years…." she trailed off. The room fell silent aside from the tick of the small clock on April's desk.
Jackson wasn't sure how much time had passed before he probed, "And?"
"And?" Was April's sleepy reply.
"The pig."
"Oh. He's fat. Huge. His name is Ja…"
After some silence, Jackson lifted his head to glance down at April. She was asleep, turned close to his side, her head resting against his chest.
He should leave. Leaving was the right thing to do. It would save April any unnecessary embarrassment in the morning and it would save him from having to face the truth that he'd been trying to ignore and admit that he liked the way this felt. He liked having his best friend this close. Admitting that would open up a can of worms that he wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with. There were a million reasons why he should leave, but instead he pushed one shoe off with the toe of the other and then the other with his socked toes.
When had it happened? When had things shifted with them? When had he started seeing April Kepner as more than just a friend? If he was honest with himself he'd have to admit that it had been brewing for a while. It had started small: she'd smiled at him and he'd felt unusually happy about it, she'd saved his seat beside her at lunch and he'd appreciated it, she'd been sympathetic but not sappy about his breakup with Lexie and he was grateful for that, a shared moment at the dinner table when a simple touch had felt like so much more. Little things, built on years of friendship and closeness had paved the way for attraction to take place.
Jackson glanced down at the woman sleeping in his arms. He lifted her hand to push her hair out of her face and his fingers lingered above her cheek. He dropped his hand, refusing to indulge his desire to touch her there. Then he settled further into April's unbelievably soft bed. The last thought he had before he drifted off to sleep was how right it all felt.
The world was warm and smelled faintly of soap and a hint of spice. April pressed closer to that warmth and scent, content in a way she had never been. Nothing about the difference in the way she woke up today, and the way she'd woken up every other day of her life registered at first, but then it began to settle in, the difference. Slowly, the events from her night started to come back in little embarrassing flashes, starting with her walking into Joe's and ordering a drink, then another, and another. She had been on an out of control bender, and then there was Jackson.
Jackson.
It took a moment after opening her sore eyes for April to realize that the warmth she felt was Jackson Avery. They were pressed close to each other, her head resting in the crook of his neck, his arm was draped over her waist, his breathing was deep and even. April's mind raced. She'd never been this close to a man, this intimate, yet it was all she could think about lately. Being with a man and not just any man. This man. April inwardly groaned. This strange deviation in her thoughts about Jackson had become a constant thing that she tried so hard to ignore, but there was no way she could ignore it now, not when she was this close to him, not when she had slept in his arms. A tendril of something close to desire swirled in her chest. She had to get out of the bed, away from Jackson. Quickly.
April jerked up and immediately regretted it. Her room spun in a dizzying way. She attempted to lie back down but it was too late. Everything that she'd consumed the day before was already rising back up into her throat. She rushed from the bed, just making it to the wastebasket by her desk. She heaved and her stomach convulsed. Distantly, she felt her hair being pulled back from the line of fire and a gentle rubbing of her back. She remained bent over, face in the basket until there was nothing left inside to come up.
"I'm so sorry," she said weakly. Her voice reverberated in the wastebasket.
"Don't apologize. It happens to the best of us." Jackson's voice was groggy but soothing and reassuring.
April pushed the basket aside and sat back, resting her head against a leg of her desk. She used her shirt to wipe her mouth.
Jackson stood up. "I'll get you some water." He left and came back quickly.
The cold water felt good going down. "Thank you."
"No problem."
She lifted her eyes to his. "For everything."
"I know."
"Was I really bad last night?"
He grinned. "Not too bad, though you did call the guy who lives in 5C "Mr. Elevator Man. Twice."
April groaned, mortified.
Jackson bent down, squeezing her shoulder. "Don't worry about it. It happens to the best of us."
She groaned again. "I'm just gonna… shower. Yeah, shower. I need a shower… and a toothbrush," she added, her face turning slightly red.
"Alright." Jackson helped her up. "Don't beat yourself up about last night."
"Right," she said nodding. "Happens to the best of us," she parroted.
Jackson gave her a look that she couldn't quite read before leaving her room.
"Oh, God." April flopped down on her bed. She was never drinking again. Okay, maybe that was too extreme. She was never drinking that much again.
After some time had passed, she finally felt good enough to get up without the world disappearing from under her feet. She thought back to the phone call from her younger sister that had sent her into last night's tailspin. Little Alice was engaged. Her youngest sister was getting married. April had wanted to be happy for Alice, but all she could do was rush her sister off the phone with a lame work excuse. She had gone to Joe's to let off steam and ended up so drunk, she could hardly remember what she had done or what she'd said.
Her heart began to race and she felt sick again. This time she pushed past the nausea. She walked over to her desk, opened a drawer and pulled out a small red notepad. She didn't open it, just fingered the frayed edges of paper. There had been a time when she took this notebook everywhere with her, a time when she was constantly jotting down affirmations to help boost her self esteem. With all of her growth at the hospital and the friendships she'd formed, with her confidence as a doctor increasing every day, she'd believed that those days were behind her, but now she wasn't so sure. After a minute or two she placed the notebook back into her desk and closed the drawer.
One day she would get up the nerve to throw the thing in the trash. Today wasn't that day.
Jackson pulled on a pair of sweat pants with a matching hoodie and a pair of Nike's after taking a shower. He left his room, running into Alex Karev in the kitchen. His roommate was wearing a scowl and eating a bowl of cereal.
"You two sleeping together?" Alex asked around a mouth full of food.
"What?"
"You and April. I heard you two come in last night, sounded rowdy."
Jackson grabbed a bowl from a cabinet. "No," he replied, shaking his head. "We're not sleeping together. April got drunk last night. I helped her get back here. That's all."
"Kepner drunk?" Alex smirked.
Jackson still had a hard time believing it himself. "Yep."
Alex stuffed a spoonful in his mouth. "That, I would have paid to see."
"Paid to see what?" April asked, her voice extra perky, a stark contrast to what she'd sounded like less than an hour ago. She'd showered and was wearing jeans and a blue t shirt that hugged her chest. There had been a time when Jackson wouldn't have noticed how good she looked. April had always been April, his friend. Not a woman whom he looked at as, well, a woman.
"Nothing," Jackson quickly interjected before Alex could get a word out. The other man grunted and turned his atten
tion to the back of the cereal box.
April gave them both a quizzical look but didn't peruse more of an answer. She fished through the cabinets and the refrigerator. "Where is all my fruit, my vegetables? Even my steel cut oatmeal is gone. You two don't even eat steel cut oatmeal."
Alex looked up from his box. "A girl I met a week ago is a bit of a health nut."
April slammed a cabinet. "You haven't been letting 'a girl you met a week ago' eat my food have you?"
Alex looked guilty. "She needed to keep her energy up. Long nights."
Jackson bit back his smile while April's face contorted in disgust. "Just ew," she said, leaving the kitchen.
"You're never living that one down," Jackson threw over his shoulder to Alex as he followed April out of the kitchen. "Hey, where are you going?"
"To the store for food, real food, and to the hardware store for a lock. Karev's disease infested women aren't going to be eating up my-"
"How are you feeling?" Jackson cut in, preventing April from continuing her rant.
She pulled her jacket on and flipped her red hair from the collar and sighed. "Besides embarrassed, humiliated and completely ashamed? Fine."
Jackson laughed lightly. "You had fun last night." Until the tears, he thought. "Don't beat yourself up over it."
She nodded. "You're right."
"I usually am."
She hit him playfully in his arm before grabbing her bag and leaving the house. Jackson stared at the closed front door, his thoughts all over the place.
"If you're not sleeping with her, you want to," Alex quipped, breezing past him to the door.
"Shut up, Karev," was Jackson's only response.
That afternoon, Jackson scrubbed in with Mark Sloan on a cleft palate. He enjoyed working under Mark, even if the older doctor was grossly inappropriate and in love with Jackson's ex girlfriend. Over the past few months, Jackson thought less and less about Lexie and their once relationship. It had been nice before he realized that she was still in love with Mark and then it was pathetic and Jackson had refused to do pathetic. When it came down to whether or not he and Lexie would continue, he decided to choose himself and his career. They were still friends, amicable, no hard feelings.
"So how is studying going?" Mark asked as they scrubbed out of surgery.
"It's okay. They hypotheticals are kicking my butt."
"You'll be fine. Still studying with Kepner?"
"Yeah."
Mark dried his hands on a towel. "Is that all you two are doing?"
Jackson stared at his mentor, confused. "What are you getting at?"
"Oh nothing. Just that I remember studying for the boards and how intense things can get. Sometimes you need a release." Mark waggled his brows suggestively.
Jackson frowned. Not him and April. He could never with April. She was his friend. His very inexperienced friend. And yet, he'd been thinking of her and looking at her in a more than friend way lately. "You're the second person today to ask if I'm sleeping with April."
Mark put his hands up in defense. "I didn't ask."
Jackson tossed his towel into a bin. "You pretty much did."
They walked out into the hallway.
"So are you?" Mark asked. He eyed Jackson suspiciously.
"What? No. April and I are just friends."
"So are Callie and I," Mark countered.
"We're not friends like you and Callie. We're friends like Grey and Yang. We don't sleep together."
"If Grey and Yang were lesbians, they would sleep together," Mark replied, assuredly.
"You know what? I can't talk to you." Jackson started walking determinedly in the opposite direction of the other doctor. "I won't talk to you," he added over his shoulder.
Mark's arrogant laugh followed Jackson down the hallway.
He would go for a run. Yes, a run would do him some good. Get his thoughts back functioning the way they were supposed to. As Jackson got in his car, his phone vibrated. It was his mom. He groaned, before answering the call. "Hey, Mom."
April spent her off day shopping for groceries and washing her laundry. She'd decided that she needed to cleanse her body of all impurities and get back on track. She picked up every green vegetable she could find and some fruit to go with it. When she got back to her apartment, she washed all of her clothes and stripped her sheets from her bed to wash them too. Before she put them in the machine she held them to her nose, hoping to catch the lingering scent of Jackson on them. She felt ridiculous for doing it, even more ridiculous when she couldn't find his scent anywhere on the sheets.
Had she gotten so desperate in her need for companionship that she was now lusting after her best friend? What was wrong with her? She needed a place to put these feelings so that she could rid herself of them. If she could only pinpoint exactly when she started looking at Jackson and not just seeing her friend, then maybe she would be able to undo it all. Sometimes when she was alone she would attempt to remember the day when it all changed, but she only ended up with an endless list. A look here, a touch there, a laugh, a shared inside joke, a dinner they shared alone when Alex hadn't bothered to show up for their group study session.
Yes, definitely that night.
It wasn't supposed to be romantic but as they'd sat across from each other at the table, all April could think about was how romantic it felt, just the two of them enjoying a dinner he'd watched her prepare and drinking the wine he'd bought home. They'd talked about their day at work, about surgeries, April had spoken openly about how everyone back home was rooting for her and expecting her to be great and how sometimes the weight of it all could be suffocating. Jackson understood that very well. He had his own weight in the form of his grandfather, Harper Avery. He had a larger than life figure that he was measured against every day of his life. April couldn't begin to understand.
She'd reached out that night across the table and took his hand in hers. It has been a simple act, really, comfort. Something that she hadn't even thought about. It wasn't until their hands were clasped together and her heart started beating a little faster that she actually put any thought into it at all. It was all very personal, very intimate. Her eyes met Jackson's blue-green eyes and there was something in the way he looked at her that made her heart flutter. But in an instant it was gone and he was pulling his hand away. They awkwardly cleared the table and avoided making any more eye contact.
That night they'd gone to their separate rooms, not even bothering an attempt at studying. April stayed up in her bed, tossing and turning, trying to undo that moment between them. Desperately trying to work it into something palatable in her head. Something that she would be able to accept. It hadn't worked.
The next morning Jackson had been his normal self. Teasing her and joking with Alex and just being Jackson. It was as though the night before had never happened. April took his lead and ever since then, she'd been tiptoeing around the elephant in the room, unsure of how she felt but knowing she felt more than she should. She overcompensated for her feelings by being even more bubbly than she normally was, and she tried to be the super duper best friend to him in hopes that one day it wouldn't be an act and she'd be his best friend without wanting to be more. Sadly, deep down she knew that that would never happen. The bell had already been rung, there was no going back for her, no matter how badly she wanted to.
The whirl of the blender greeted Jackson as he entered his apartment. The place smelled like freshly turned earth and as he walked into the kitchen and saw April pouring something bright green into a glass from the blender, he could understand why. On the counter was a cookie sheet filled with crinkly green things that almost made Jackson want to turn tail and hide in his room. This wasn't April's usual thing. Normally he'd walk in and the house would smell like roasting chicken or fresh baked cookies. It would smell warm and inviting, not raw and earthy.
"What are you doing?"
April looked up, surprised to see him. "Oh! Detoxing," she answered lifting the green bubbly stuff to her mouth and taking a long sip. "Last night was a doozy."
Jackson cringed. "That can't be good."
"Actually, it's great. When you think of all of the health benefits that green smoothies present, all you taste is yummy goodness!" She said a little too brightly.
Jackson nodded slowly. "Yeah, I don't believe you."
"Try some," She handed her glass to him.
Jackson took it, sniffed and set it aside. He shoved his hands in his pockets, unsure of how to go about asking her what he was about to ask her. A few months ago this would have been a piece of cake, but a shift had happened since then and he now looked at April in a different light. A light that made asking her something as simple as coming with him to dinner with his family feel like he was asking her out on a date. "So," he started cautiously, "my grandfather and mother want to do an Avery dinner tonight at Canlis. I'm firmly against it but I really can't say no, family duty and everything. I was wondering if you would come with me?"
Her eyes brightened. "Really? Yeah! I mean, you're sure your mom and grandfather will be okay with it? It is an Avery dinner and my last name isn't Avery." She worried her bottom lip with her teeth.
"They won't mind at all. My mom loves you anyway." And his grandfather? Jackson looked at April smiling over at him. Harper Avery would love her too.
April grinned. "She definitely loves trying to hook me up with eligible bachelors."
Jackson didn't like the way that comment made him feel. "I'll tell her to cut it out tonight."
April waved him off. "Oh, it's fine. Lately I've been sorta hoping that she'd be successful in that." She looked away, busying herself with cleaning off the counter top.
"Why?" he asked curiously.
She shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me?"
"I'm a thirty year old virgin, Jackson. I'm basically a movie waiting to happen and I don't want to be."
He frowned at her. He felt this confession was somehow directly linked to her little sister's engagement. "Don't want to be a virgin?"
She sighed. "Not that. Well kind of but not really. It's just that... I'm tired of being that girl. I'm tired of being the punchline, the inexperienced one. Mostly, I'm tired of being alone." She looked like she wanted to take the words back as soon as they fell out of her mouth.
"April." He spoke her name softly. He never knew that she felt this way. He'd taken part in joking about her virginity, even if it was just by laughing at one of Karev's crass jokes. He was feeling like the biggest asshole for it now. "I'm sorry, I didn't know-"
"I don't want your sympathy, Jackson." She deposited the blender into the sink and turned on the water to rinse it out. "I shouldn't have even said any of this. Let's pretend I didn't." She focused her attention on washing the blender.
His thoughts filled with a million things to say but all of them felt inadequate, so he settled on, "I'll be wearing a blue tie tonight."
She nodded, a small grin tugging at her lips. "I have the perfect dress then," she replied. The change of subject seemed to brighten her mood. She grabbed one of the green crinkly things from off the cookie sheet. It crunched as she bit into it.
Jackson's face soured. "What is that?"
"Homemade kale chips. Want one?"
He shook his head. "I'll pass."
April pulled a deep blue strapless dress from her closet. She'd bought it in anticipation of a date that had never come. It had been hanging in her closet for a year since then, unworn, tags still attached. She laid the dress out on her bed and clipped the tags with a pair of scissors. Tonight she would wear it to dinner with the Avery's. She was finding it surreal that she would be dining with Jackson's family. April had always felt that Catherine Avery was a spectacular woman. She was daring and confident and brilliant. She boldly did things that other people only dreamed about. Catherine was simply amazing, and The Great Harper Avery? Well, she'd met him in passing once, years before, but now, tonight she would be having dinner with him. She knew doctors that would do anything for an opportunity like this.
After she'd zipped herself into the dress, April found a pair of nice black heels to wear with it. She pulled a black shawl down from a hanger in her closet to use in case the restaurant was a little chilly and grabbed her black clutch before heading out of her room. Jackson was already waiting for her. In his tailored grey suit, crisp white shirt and blue tie, he looked gorgeous. April couldn't help her smile at him. He returned it with one of his own.
"You look great," he said, holding his arm out to her.
April looped her arm in his. "Thanks, you do, too."
"Ready for dinner with the Avery's?"
"Beyond."
Dinner had gone better than Jackson had expected it to. April had charmed the pants off of his grandfather. Jackson thought the elder Avery might be a little smitten with her. And his mom had been on her best behavior, not once bringing up the fact that April was a virgin or trying to push any eligible bachelors her way. Jackson had managed to remain completely calm and civil with both his grandfather and mother, and the four of them enjoyed great food and good champagne.
"April, dear, would you like to get a better view of the lake?"
April looked up from her dessert excitedly. "Yes!" she breathed.
"Come on then. Let's leave these two to their men talk."
Jackson knew that was code for an "Avery" lecture from his grandfather about expectation and birthright. He'd probably throw something in there about accepting a fellowship at Mass Gen after he became a board certified surgeon, too.
April placed her napkin next to her plate and got up. Jackson stood, helping to move her chair out of the way. She shot him a reassuring smile before she walked off to join his mom.
Jackson followed her with his eyes until she disappeared around a corner.
"I like her," His grandfather spoke.
"Yeah, me too," Jackson replied, longingly, his eyes still lingering in the direction April had gone off in with his mother. It was a few seconds before he realized that he'd said it out loud. Retaking his seat, he met his grandfather's stare. Too late to take it back. Harper Avery smelled blood in the water and was about to go in for the kill.
"I hear that April has great potential as a trauma surgeon.
Jackson's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, what's it to you?"
"Mass Gen-"
"No, Grandpa."
The older man spread his hands. "You haven't even heard what I have to say yet."
"I'm assuming it will go something like 'Mass Gen has a great Trauma unit and we could use someone like April. Oh, and by the way, our Plastics unit would greatly benefit if you came along with her.' Does that sound about right?"
"Well, I would have said it a little differently…" Harper took a sip of his champagne, staring long and hard at his grandson.
Jackson downed his and raised his glass to the nearby waiter, motioning for another. He hadn't even considered Mass Gen as an option for his fellowship. It was out of the question for him. A huge no. "Grandpa, I'm not coming to Mass Gen. And this thing with April you think is happening? It's not like that between us."
"Then what is it like? Because I sat here this whole meal and watched you stare at that young lady like the sun rises and sets on her. Do you know you ordered her drink for her?"
Jackson shrugged, annoyed. "We're friends, I know what she likes."
"Do you realize that she told the waiter that you didn't want ice in your water before your own mother could?"
So what, April knew that he didn't like ice in his water. "You naturally pick up on a persons likes and dislikes when you've known them for as long as April and I have known each other and when you live with them. We're-"
"Friends," His grandfather finished for him, unconvinced. "You've always been stubborn, I don't know why I thought you'd change now."
"I love you, Grandpa, but your'e one to talk." Jackson finished off his fresh flute of champagne in two gulps.
The two men sat in silence for a time, both too immovable in their convictions for any type of pleasant conversation.
"The view is beautiful, Jackson," April shared, rejoining his side at the table. "Lake Union and the city and the mountains..." She was a little breathless and her face had that pink flush that she got when she was excited about something.
"It is, baby. April, you should take him to see it," Catherine said pointedly.
"Oh no, it's okay. I'm sure Jackson has already seen it," April said, when he didn't immediately respond.
Even though he felt his mother was up to something, he could use the distraction. "I haven't, actually, and I wouldn't mind clearing my head," he replied standing up. He took April's arm and led her away from the table. They came to the large floor to ceiling windows and stopped. Lights twinkled off of docked boats and distant city buildings onto the water. You could just make out the outline of the mountains in under the dark moonlit sky. His gaze dropped to April's bare shoulders and he had to fight the desire to touch her. It annoyed him because touching April used to be normal, should be normal, would be normal if his feelings hadn't gotten so confused.
She looked up at him in that moment. Her eyes wide and full of happiness. He realized that this was the first time he'd seen her genuinely happy in days and he couldn't resist resting his hand on her shoulder, bringing her a little nearer to his side.
"Nice view," he remarked.
"You know, I've never been on the water?"
He didn't know that. "Really?"
"Yep. All of these years in Seattle and I've never once been on the lake."
"Maybe we'll go one day," he said.
She smiled. "That would be nice."
They fell into an easy silence as they stared out of the windows. Jackson's stare dropped every now and then to April as she gazed out with that hopeful look on her face.
It really was a beautiful view.
"You're meddling," Harper Avery said after the two younger doctors had left the table.
Catherine waved him off. "Oh hush, it's not like you didn't try. I'm just a better meddler than you are, that's all."
Harper had to concede. His daughter-in-law was right. She had always been good at positioning players just the way she wanted. Everyone usually did as Catherine directed, falling under her spell of charm and smarts. Everyone but her own son. Jackson had always been an enigma to Harper. His grandson had been an extremely bright child but too good-looking for his own good. When he began to lose an argument instead of digging his heels in and fighting to the bitter end, Jackson had to simply smile and everyone would forget that there was ever any argument to begin with. When he brought home his first B on a calculus test, his mother had been livid. Harper was irate. But Jackson was as nonchalant as ever. Telling them both not to worry, that his teacher liked him and he would get his A. Sure enough he had (like he had gotten everything in life he'd wanted) but it never stopped bothering Harper that Jackson seemingly breezed through life on his good looks.
The boy's father had been similar in that manner. Tall, handsome, things came easy to him. He'd become a top surgeon in only a few years after becoming board certified. The junior Avery had the makings to lead the Avery name into the twenty-first century, except he wanted none of it. His son shrank from responsibility, shied away from expectation, and ran from the Avery name. Harper had been happy when his son married Catherine, because at least she was brilliant in her own right and a daring surgeon, always ready to rise to any challenge. Surely, Catherine Avery would be able to bring the full potential out of his son. But not even Catherine, formidable force that she was, had been able to show his son that being great wasn't something that you ran from. It had been twenty seven years since he'd last seen him. That was his greatest disappointment in life and he saw too much of his son in Jackson. Always shying away from greatness, hiding from his family name, scared to live up to the legacy.
What was the purpose of legacy if there would be no one to proudly take the reigns when Harper was ready to step down?
"I think that April Kepner could be good for him," Harper said, musing out loud.
"Oh, I agree. I'll admit to not seeing it coming but when I look back on it, it was there all along."
Harper exhaled in a defeated way. "I asked him to come to Mass Gen."
Catherine raised her brows, interested. "And his response?"
The silence told the story. "He's stubborn."
"He'll come around," Catherine countered.
"He refuses to see a good thing when it stares him right in the face."
Catherine couldn't argue that.
"Talk to the girl." That was key. April Kepner was the key to bringing his grandson over to his side. Harper knew this without a shadow of a doubt.
Catherine didn't look so sure. "That's dangerous ground. Jackson hasn't even admitted to himself that he's in love with April."
"We need him, Catherine. The Avery legacy needs him." It wasn't like him to be desperate, but he was getting old and he wanted everything that he'd built from the ground up to continue long after her was gone. It wasn't going to happen with his son. Jackson was all he had left. "There's too much of his father in him," he finished, disgruntled.
Catherine raised her champagne flute to her lips, her brows hitched in disagreement. "That, dear father-in-law, remains to be seen."
"Thank you for inviting me, Jackson," April said softly as they made their way back to their table. His hand was on her waist, a gesture that she wished she didn't notice so acutely. But she was aware of everything where Jackson was concerned now days. She'd noticed the tension between he and his grandfather that left him quiet and withdrawn. When he'd put his hand on her shoulder as they took in the view, she noticed how he'd hesitated before doing it. She noticed that there was something bothering him that had maybe been bothering him for a while but she'd been too tied up in her own drama to see it earlier.
"I should be thanking you for coming," he replied. "I don't know if I would have been able to make it through dinner with both of them without you."
They reached the table, reclaiming their seats.
Catherine smiled at them. "Well, tonight has been lovely, hasn't it, Harper?"
"It's always nice to spend time with family," the elder doctor replied. "And, April, it was nice to have you. You're welcome at my dinner table any time."
"Well, thank you," April said, surprised by the man's enthusiasm. She glanced at Jackson, who smiled tightly at his grandfather.
"A toast then?" Catherine said, raising her glass. They all joined her. "To family, friends-"
"And legacy," Harper added.
"And legacy," Catherine agreed.
They all clinked glasses.
April really enjoyed the Avery's. She'd always been a fan of Catherine's and Harper Avery was a legend. He had so many stories to tell and an abundance wisdom to give, and he wasn't stingy with it like you might expect someone in his position to be. He gave it freely. Of course, Jackson was her favorite Avery, though sometimes she wondered how he could be a product of these two forces. Jackson was gentle and not pushy, he was reserved and introspective. Sure, he could banter and joke with the best of them, but to get to really know Jackson Avery wasn't an easy thing.
They talked for what seemed like hours. Until the restaurant was mostly empty. They filled up conversation with shared cases and stories of groundbreaking surgeries and medical discoveries. Both Harper and Catherine gave them advice for the boards. It was a long time before April looked at her watch and saw that it was well after closing.
"They left it open a little later to accommodate us." Harper Avery, winked.
"We should probably get going. Work in the morning," Jackson said.
"Get home safely," Catherine said, hugging them both.
The Great Harper Avery, stood, shaking his grandson's hand and then April's. "I hope to see you soon," he said to her.
April felt like she was walking on a cloud as they exited the restaurant. She was on a natural high. Spending time with one of the greatest in the field could do that to a person.
Their ride home was quiet. April had wanted to jabber on and on about how amazing it had been to be in the company of his family but Jackson was distant and thoughtful so she bit her tongue and kept her thoughts to herself until they got back home. "You're granddad is really an interesting man," she said, removing her heels. She looped a finger through the sling backs.
"He's overbearing," Jackson countered.
"He just loves you," April reasoned. "Thank you, again, for tonight."
The way he looked at her was disarming. His eyes were a turbulent blue-green, as if a storm brewed behind them. She became lost in them.
He stepped closer to her. "Thank you for coming." A stray curl that had fallen from the rest of her hair and curled over one eye seemed to catch his attention. He moved it out of the way with one finger. Her breath caught, and her heart pounded loud in her ears. "April," his voice coursed through her, touching every nerve, sending little shock waves through her body.
"Jackson." Her own voice was husky. Tentatively, she lifted her hand to his face. Just as her fingers met his cheek the door opened.
They both jumped away from each other, busing themselves with unimportant tasks. Jackson picked his Jacket up from the table and April fiddled with her clutch.
"Alex," she said, a little breathless. "You're home."
"Way to state the obvious," Alex snarked as he brushed past them and into the kitchen.
April caught Jackson's eye for a second before looking away. "Well, goodnight!" She said, her voice a tad higher pitched than usual.
"Goodnight," Jackson agreed, hastily.
"Yeah, night," Karev grumpily added from the kitchen.
When she'd made it to the safety of her room, April sat slowly down on the bed. Her heart still raced and she felt wired. She spent what felt like hours playing that moment over and over in her head. Imagining what might have happened between she and Jackson had Alex Karev not come in when he had.
Maybe it was a good thing that Alex had come home. It did successfully prevent them from doing whatever it was they were about to do. But what had they been about to do? It was all too confusing and exhausting to think about.
Sleep.
Sleep would do her good. She would go to sleep and in the morning things would go back to norma, the way they always did. Even if normal was only something they pretended to be now.