Not Alone Anymore
I was alone. Not in the sense that there weren't people around me who cared for me, but it was just me. There would never be a loving husband or children I adored who loved me unconditionally. It would just be me, frozen at 18. I hoped that one day I would meet someone and I could be happy, like Carlisle and Esme, but today, I was alone. And I was even alone in my head for the moment.
The mountains are not where I would have chosen to live if there had been a choice. But there wasn't a choice. I was too new at this life to live so close to a highly populated city. My eyes may have changed, and I've never unintentionally killed a human being, but even I did not want to risk it.
But I sat on the rocks over a stream, gazing at my reflection, brooding. Esme tried to help me and distract me, and in truth, she was more of a mother to me than my own mother had been. I cried on her shoulder a lot, mourning the life I could have had. But I didn't blame Carlisle either. What I had become was all Royce's fault. And I already got my revenge on him.
For a while, revenge had been the only thing on my mind, but once that was completed, I was back to brooding.
The sun peaked out from behind the clouds and rained down on me. I sparkled in my reflection, and I hated that. I was pleased with my beauty, but I hated that I could not go outside in the sun. It used to make my skin glow and my blonde hair golden. Now, it kept me indoors.
I tossed a small rock at my reflection and stormed away. I ran. I had no idea where I was running to, but I ran all the more.
I was headed in the general direction of home when I caught the scent of the most wonderful smell in the world. It was a glorious smell, so pure. I was headed toward it before I even realized what it was.
It wasn't until I came upon them that I realized that I had smelled human blood. The bear was attacking the poor man who was lying on the ground. The bear didn't register me as I crept closer. I had already stopped breathing, but the smell was ingrained in my head, close to taking over and me giving in.
But the man's face looked so innocent. So childlike and reminded me of Henry. Henry's fuzzy little face with dimple when he smiled. This man had the same face, though much older, and I knew I had to have him as mine if he would have me.
I wouldn't be strong enough to change him myself, but Carlisle would not have left for work yet, and I could be home in time. But I couldn't carry him with his blood flowing and not have hunted in over a week.
The bear was there, barely a few seconds had passed, and I knew I would have to be careful to not breathe while I finished off the bear that was killing my poor man.
I left the bear where he was, for once, not cleaning up after myself, but I already feared I would be too late.
I scooped up the man in my arms and took off toward home. The man had already lost consciousness and was lying limp in my arms. But not before he smiled at me once and I saw the dimples that I had prayed where there.
But his blood was still flowing from his wounds, and despite not breathing, the scent was still in my head, trying to break free of the mental restraints I had put on it and take over.
As I neared home, I screamed for Edward in my head to warn him and to get Carlisle because I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold on.
Edward met me at the door and shook his head. "How can you force this life on him when you hate so much that this was forced on you?"
Because I can't be alone, Edward. It's not in my nature to be alone.
He just shook his head, but let me through otherwise. Carlisle and Esme were there to greet me and I could already see that Carlisle was at war with himself over whether or not to change this man for me. None of us had had an easy time of adjusting and had all gone through a phase of hating this life.
But instead of looking at Carlisle, I turned to Esme and pleaded with my eyes. She had been my shoulder to cry on so many times that I knew she knew why I had brought this man home.
She gave me a small smile and turned to Carlisle and nodded. Carlisle took him from me and I followed.
The man regained consciousness as soon as the pain started. How I wished I knew his name so I could comfort him, but all I could do was whisper sweet nothings and brush an errant curl from his forehead. Carlisle tried to explain to him what has happening to him, but I could tell he wasn't hearing any of it. His eyes never strayed far from mine and I tried to stay calm for him, but the pain he was in was all of my making. I had forced it upon him, just like Edward said.
Esme came in and sat with me for a little while, holding my other hand and telling me she understood why I had brought him home and that she was happy for me, even though I knew we would have to move again so soon after we had arrived.
It wasn't until his heart stopped beating and he stopped screaming in pain three days later that I truly became nervous of whether or not he would stay with me.
"Hello," I said timidly. I have never been timid around men before, but this man held my happiness in his hands and I don't think I could handle a broken heart.
He looked at me in the most peculiar way, as if analyzing the sound of my voice. "Hello," he replied back, smiling at me.
I smiled, I couldn't help it. This was what it meant to be in love. It was definitely not what I had experienced with Royce.
Carlisle proceeded to tell him what he had told me when I had first woken up, but this man had a completely different reaction than I had when hearing the truth. When Carlisle finished, I blurted the question that had been burning on my tongue since I had found him, "What's your name?"
He turned back to me. "Emmett McCarthy. And yours?"
"Rosalie."
"Such a fitting name for the most beautiful rose I've ever seen."
If I could still blush, I would have right then. I felt like a giddy school girl. "So you don't mind that I've brought you to hell on earth?"
"Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you."
And then I knew I wasn't going to be alone anymore.