A/N: Well, here's another one. There were some negative reviews to the last chapter I posted. While I wish I could respond individually to those reviewers, they posted as guests, so all I can do is write here that I wish I would have included my standard Crazy Eyes Disclaimer in my author's note, but it got left out.

Standard Crazy Eyes Disclaimer: the Crazy Eyes universe, itself a spinoff of Wepdiggy's Adorable Psycho, is not meant to be taken seriously. It's a humorous look at what Kate Beckett would be like if she let her jealousy and possessiveness regarding Castle take over her actions. It's just meant to be fun, I promise!

As usual, I don't own the show or characters, no profit is being made, yadda yadda yadda don't sue me!

The Adorable Psycho universe featured a negotiated agreement over violence, so in that spirit, I have my own version here.

Enjoy!

Crazy Eyes and the Fangirls

Kate groaned and rolled over, her hand fumbling for the trilling cell phone that dragged her from the comforting embrace of slumber. "Beckett," she tried to put as much growl into her voice as she could, but it just came out as a sleepy grumble.

"Yo, boss. We got a fresh case. You want to wake Castle up and meet us there?" Esposito could barely hide the smirk in his voice, knowing that the writer in question was most likely inches from his superior officer. As odd as it was that the two were together, it actually made some things easier, such as only needing to call one of them most nights when a body dropped.

Aware that he couldn't see the gesture, Kate rolled her eyes. "Just text me the location where the bodies were found and we'll meet you there," as she woke up more and more, the growl became more pronounced.

"Wait a minute. Bodies? How did you know there's more than one…" his voice cut off as Kate disconnected the call.

She reached over to the other side of the bed that was honestly too comfortable for any person to own and after taking a moment to warm her own heart at the peaceful innocence gracing Castle's face, shook his shoulder. "Huh? Wha's goin' on?" he mumbled as he unwillingly left whatever dream land fantasy caused the smile.

"Wake up, Rick. Esposito just called. We have a case," she said in a tone that was somehow soft and commanding at the same time.

He sat up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "What time is it?"

That made her roll her eyes again. Of all the things she found adorable about her boyfriend, his complete abandonment of traditional technology for newer could be one of the most annoying at times. Of course he had no visible alarm clock in his room, preferring to use his smartphone as an alarm clock. "Check your phone, hot stuff. I think it's between three and four in the morning," she replied, the sight of his nude body getting out of bed robbing her voice of any irritation.

Castle looked over his shoulder with a leer. "Why thank you, my dear detective," he took his time bending over to get his clothes from their scattered positions around the floor, "Do you know where my socks are?"

Kate just cast her eyes upward to where one of his socks in addition to her favorite purple lace bra were lazily circling on the ceiling fan. "Up there," she grunted as she slid on her pants.

"Hmmm," he mused, "And the German judges give it a 7.4."

She just chuckled.

The Agreement

An agreement between Katherine H. Beckett and Richard E. Castle on this, the sixteenth day of November, Two thousand and ten in the city, county, and state of New York:

1. Richard Castle ("the boyfriend", "the writer", "the tag-along", "Studly McSexypants"), acknowledging that Katherine Beckett ("the girlfriend", "the cop", "the detective", "the love of Richard Castle's life", "smoking hot sex on wheels,") has a vested interest in his personal safety as well as romantic and sexual performance and fidelity, agrees that the girlfriend has a right to ensure the aforementioned physical safety and fidelity.

2. Both parties acknowledge that said protection is understood to potentially extend as far as taking the life of another person, be it a crazed serial killer or stalker fangirl.

3. However, the girlfriend allows that said protection can be taken too far. The detective admits that there are some situations in which lethal force is an unjust punishment for a fangirl merely basking in what the rest of the world should already know, namely that Studly McSexypants is the hottest man gracing God's green earth. Attempting to intimidate or otherwise scare off her competition should always be a first recourse before resorting to physical violence.

4. Therefore, the parties enumerated above hereby agree that the girlfriend is allowed one kill per week of a fangirl who gets too close to the boyfriend, be it by stalking, kissing, groping, flirting, or otherwise infringing on the girlfriend's clearly claimed territory. The one allotted kill is understood to be without fear of reproach or scolding from the boyfriend except in the case of extreme violence.

5. If the girlfriend violates the terms of this agreement by killing more than one perceived competitor for the boyfriend's affections per week, or the severity of her response is admittedly too extreme for the crime, the boyfriend is allowed to punish the infraction by withholding all forms of sexual intimacy (e.g. "drilling", "boinking", "boning", "making love", "boffing", "shagging", "plowing", "bumping uglies", "fucking", "making the beast with two backs", "joining in conjugal union", "doing the horizontal mambo", etc.) for a period of not more than seven (7) days and not less than four (4) days.

6. If the boyfriend violates the terms of this agreement by encouraging the competition in a manner over and above those vapid flirtations required of his public Rick Castle persona to include signing any other woman's chest, he will take the girlfriend to his beach house in the Hamptons and make his body available for whatever form of sexual enjoyment she desires (within reason and subject to veto in extreme circumstances such as sheer exhaustion or extensive physical pain) for the same period of not more than seven (7) and lot less than four (4) days, to make sure the boyfriend knows who his rightful owner is.

7. Exceptions to Clause 4 include imminent physical danger to the boyfriend, including threats to life, limb, or person, as well imminent threats to fidelity, including crowds of fangirls attempting to experience Studly McSexypants' incredible powers of sexual gratification. The girlfriend is also allowed more than one kill in the event that scaring off her competition takes a turn for the worse and she has to ensure her own physical safety.

Signed:

Richard E. Castle

Katherine H. Beckett

When they got to the crime scene, a dark alley behind a porn theater, Ryan was waiting for them. "Morning Beckett, Castle. This one is definitely right up your alley, so to speak."

Castle stifled a yawn – Kate had been particularly vigorous the previous evening, and when the call came in he had only been asleep for a couple of hours – as he followed under the billowing yellow tape and took in the gruesome tableau. There were two bodies, one draped over the other in a parody of an embrace. Both were dressed for a night out on the town, and it looked like whomever killed them had taken a razor to their heads in an attempt to shave off their hair. They were under a pungent pile of garbage taken from a stack of bags from the restaurant on the other side of the alley.

"Wow. That's something you don't see every day," was all he could say about the sight in front of him. Kate was strangely silent, though he noticed her eye twitch briefly as a smile ghosted across her face.

Esposito, freshly returned from canvassing the surrounding businesses, looked out of the corner of his eye at both of them. "Yeah, whoever did this is one sick bastard."

That shook Kate out of her reverie. Noting that CSU had finished their initial sweep for fingerprints and other bits of evidence along with a full set of photographs, she walked over to Lanie and knelt down. "What do you have so far?"

The medical examiner looked at her friend, "What do you have time for? Here are two females between the ages of 25 and 30. No wallet or ID found on either. In addition to the blunt force trauma to the back of each skull," Lanie indicated where as she separated the victims and laid them on their backs, but Kate didn't examine the wound as closely as she normally would have, "there's a single gunshot wound."

Beckett looked at the entry wounds. "Smallish caliber. What do you think? A .38?"

Lanie quirked an eyebrow. "Smaller than that, Kate. Looks more like a 9 millimeter to me. One," she indicated the smaller, redheaded woman, "was to the center forehead from a short distance, say six to ten feet, while the other," she pointed to the busty blonde, "was pressed right up against the temple. There are also some strange dark smudges on each woman's upper chest," she indicated the areas on the upslope of both victim's left breasts, a fact which everyone but Kate noticed made Castle pay very close attention, "and finally defensive wounds on both victims' forearms with some strange ligature marks around each neck, but I think the gunshots were the actual cause of death. Whoever did this made sure they suffered before they died, that's for sure."

Kate rocked back on her heels. "So it looks like some weird, fetishistic murder-suicide?" Everyone present cast a confused look around the rest of the circle as they noted the faint tinge of hope in her voice.

Lanie took a breath before cautiously answering, "Well, the signs are all there, but – "

"Great! Let's get the bodies back to the lab so we can run identification and notify the next of kin," Kate interrupted brusquely as she stood up and started walking back to her car.

As she passed Esposito, he tried one last time to get his question from the phone call earlier answered, "Ah, boss? How did you know there would be two bodies before I even told you?" he asked in a low voice.

She flicked the hair around her head with a huff. "I just had a feeling, Espo. Don't know what else to tell you," before turning to her partner and boyfriend, "You coming, Castle? I could use some coffee before we get to the precinct."

As always, when Kate beckoned, there was little to do but follow.

As Kate drove away from the scene, Castle watched her quietly. She was nervous. Every movement in her body screamed agitation, from the tapping of her left foot on the floorboard, the way her knee swayed back and forth, the constant clenching and releasing of her hand to the small, huffing breaths she took. Finally, he took his life in his hands. "Kate – "

"What!?" she jumped at his question as if her whole body was tensed and waiting for his inquisition.

He looked at her, gauging her mental state as he noted the flaring of her nostrils and slightly wider than normal eyes. "Did you?"

"Did I what? Did I rock your world last night? You know the answer to that one just as well as I do, big boy," she answered with affected sultriness.

Castle rolled his eyes at her deflection, a gesture which somehow lacked the usual panache of a Kate Beckett eye roll. "Did you just get called to your own crime scene?" he clarified with quiet determination, telling Kate she wasn't going to get out of the answer.

She groaned and refocused on the road. "I was at the same book signing you were, Castle. I saw the way those two just about forced you to do…what it is they made you do. It wasn't right for them to try to horn in on my territory."

"Do I need to remind you of the terms of our agreement?" he asked.

That got her attention back on him. "No! I didn't mean to, Rick! I promise! Things just got a little…out of hand," she finished weakly, hating the pleading note that slipped out.

"Out of hand? Our agreement clearly states that you're allowed one kill per week, unless what?" he recited dramatically

"Unless your life is in danger," Beckett finished the clause, defeated.

"And the penalty for going over is?" Castle pressed, willing her to understand the severity of her actions.

"Oh come on! You're seriously going to enforce that? Can't I even claim the 'crowd of fangirls' exemption?" she searched for an escape.

"Crowds? Between the two of them, they might have weighed two hundred pounds soaking wet, which is still less than me," he replied, "and my virtue was hardly in danger. They didn't even flash me, Kate. They just wanted me to sign their…upper chests…"

She turned again with a triumphant smirk. "Exactly. Stupid bimbo sluts were doing everything they could to get you to put your mark on their bodies, as impressive as those artificially overinflated bags of silicone were. That puts me well within my rights to defend my territory. We never defined 'crowd' in the agreement, and your boob-signing days are over, mister."

"How the hell did you just negotiate me out of that?" he marveled. Much as he tried, he couldn't work his way around her statement, and when he replied it was in a voice full of contrition. "I didn't want to, Kate. I was in Rick Castle mode and it just happened. I'm sorry."

Knowing the persona he had to take on at book signings, she took pity and turned her sweetest smile on him. "I know, Rick. It's damn near impossible for any woman to resist your charms. God knows it took everything I had for two years. I don't blame you. It's those stupid skanks that don't know their place," her smile turned positively feral, "but regardless, you violated our agreement first with the tit signage. When we get to the precinct, call your housekeeper and get the Hamptons house ready for this weekend. I'll clear it with Montgomery."

He tried one last protest, well aware of the physical abuse awaiting him. "But what about the crime scene? You know, the double murder?"

"My magnificently toned ass. You mean the murder-suicide?" she shot back with a grin.

Castle just heaved a sigh, mentally preparing himself for the wild ride ahead of him. Not that I'll be the one doing most of the riding, he thought ruefully, knowing how Kate liked the dominant position. "Well, at least that's the first time you've killed any of my fans," he grumped.

"Well, I don't know if I would go that far," Kate started as they pulled into the precinct's parking garage.

Despite his best efforts, the only clue she gave was that it was at the Storm Fall book signing.

March 9, 2009

Kate watched from the other side of the reception area as first one, then another slutty bimbo made their way to her favorite author and damn near flashed their tits to get him to sign their (probably fake) chests. Her eye started twitching involuntarily.

People near her started edging carefully away as the attractive detective seemed to be the source of the low growling that could be heard all around her. The rumbles only got louder as the second woman used her body to get the deliciously handsome author's attention. Once inked, the second woman found the first and they headed off in the direction of the restrooms. Probably to compare signatures and gush about prostituting themselves for a celebrity's attention, Kate thought with an internal sneer.

She started walking to the restroom with long, fast strides, intending to beat both of them in there and set her trap.

Letting the door swing shut behind her, she noted gratefully that the restroom was otherwise empty. Good. No witnesses. She hid inside the middle of the three stalls and climbed to a precarious perch atop the seat. When the two vapid Barbie dolls entered, their vacuous giggles preceded them. With a grimace, Kate waited for them to get in the right position, trying not to roll her eyes too much as they did exactly what she expected and popped their boobs out of their dresses to compare signatures.

When the blonde bimbo on the right moved away first and walked behind her friend, Kate struck. One boot shot out and kicked the stall door, which swung out and clocked her target squarely in the face. She hit the floor like a sack of bricks as her brunette friend jumped in surprise at the sudden attack.

Kate sauntered out with the graceful air of a panther prowling for prey. "Oh I am so sorry," she tittered with blatantly false sincerity, "that was so clumsy of me! Here, let me help you up," she reached down and grabbed the woman's underarms. Her next maneuver was so subtle that anything short of a trained expert watching for it would have missed it, and the standing bimbo was anything but trained. Kate slid the blonde slightly underneath the sink so that when she moved behind the woman and jerked her upward – ostensibly to help her stand – the back of the blonde's head impacted the bottom of the sink with a sickening thunk.

In her feigned surprise, Kate dropped her, allowing her to fall squarely on her face. The crunch of a nose breaking on the bathroom floor was almost as loud as the noises coming out of the brunette. She shoved Kate out of the way to try and help her friend, unwittingly playing right into Kate's hands by pushing her right over to the still useful stall door. Kate waited until the woman was crouched, then swung the door with all her strength.

It landed a perfect blow right on the brunette's temple. The blow was so true that Kate herself started at the noise. An unexpected but welcome bonus, the woman's head swung to the side so firmly that she hit the other side dead on the sink itself.

She wasn't completely down for the count and the blonde was just starting to come to. Kate finished each off with a savage kick to the temple with her boot. Both were now out for the count and sprawled over each other on the bathroom floor.

"Serves you dumbass sluts right," Kate growled as she stepped over the two unconscious women and left the bathroom.

"So that's what those sirens I heard as we left the building were for," Castle marveled aloud as he made the connection.

Kate gave him a rueful grin as she put her car in park and unbuckled her seat belt. "At least they both lived, though I heard later on they suffered some brain injury or other and have no memory of that evening."

"Lucky them," Castle grunted as he copied her movements and exited the car, "So you're seriously calling me in violation of the agreement?"

"You know it, Studly McSexypants," she threw him her most lascivious smirk as sashayed her way up the stairs, knowing just how hard he was staring at her magnificently toned ass, "You're all mine up in the Hamptons, and if you even think you're going to wear more than one change of clothes for the ride home after I'm done with you, you're sorely mistaken."

He couldn't help the whimper that escaped his mouth, both at the sight of the glorious derriere in front of him as well as the thought of what was to come.

A/N: There it is! The official negotiation, along with some unfortunate fangirls. Violence is a little toned down in this one, but I have more planned (evil laugh) :)

Reviews are always appreciated!