AN: This is all set in the later part of season 7 - beginning with 7x17. There was so much going on with Morgan in those episodes . . . this is all from Morgan's point of view, using what happened in the actual episodes as a basis. As always, I don't own Criminal Minds, and I sure do appreciate them for giving us such wonderful characters!

Chapter 1-Man to Man

This could not be happening. Even as Kevin Lynch stood before him that ugly ass shirt, he could not believe the words that had come out of his mouth.

Derek Morgan had been trying to finish up some paperwork before heading to the briefing room for a meeting about a new case they were being called in on. He had been surprised when Lynch showed up at his door. "Just the guy I'm looking for!" That wasn't a good sign. Although they exchanged pleasantries often, the two men were not friends. Derek tolerated him for Penelope's sake, because (for reasons that completely escaped him) she had been in a relationship with the man for years and seemed genuinely devoted to him. Even though Derek had no clue how someone who was as fashionable as his baby girl could love someone so . . . tacky. But, it would seem that Lynch was what she wanted, so he supported her, even though Derek could often make no sense of it. He was good at putting on an encouraging face when it came to Lynch.

Of course, now Lynch was at his office door. . . "Can we . . . talk?" Lynch asked hesitantly. Derek's first thought was that something might be wrong with his bubbly best friend. Why else would Lynch want to talk with him?

"Is Penelope OK?" Derek asked. First things first-he had to make everything was okay with her. Anything else, he could handle.

"Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, she's perfect. In fact . . . that's why I'm here." Lynch paused, took a deep breath, then began talking faster than Derek would have thought possible. "I know you are Penelope's boo and she's your Baby girl. And what I'm about to embark on involves the keen insight of someone who knows her inside and out. And no matter how much therapy I've gone through trying to understand your relationship, I know you're that person."

Whoa. Just like Penelope, apparently Lynch liked to rush when he when he was stressed. Derek decided to use the same methods he had to use with Garcia when she got like this . . . he had to slow her down and focus her on getting to the issue at hand. "Okay, Kevin? Land your plane."

Lynch had looked down at his feet and taken a deep breath. He looked up, meeting Morgan's eyes. "I want to propose to Penelope, and I need your help."

Which was what had Morgan standing there, staring at Lynch for what felt like an eternity. No, this definitely couldn't be happening. On SO many different levels and for so many different reasons. Behind Lynch, the elevator dinged, breaking Morgan out of his stupor and reminding him that he needed to do something. And since he couldn't think of a single thing to say (beyond "Are you out of your MIND?", which wouldn't do at all. That would upset Penelope when it got back to her . . . ), Derek spun around and headed for the briefing room.

Lynch followed him, much to his dismay.

"Please, I'm not asking for your blessing, I'm asking for your advice." Lynch continued.

No way in hell I'm giving you either, Morgan thought. He had to keep walking. He couldn't trust himself to think of anything to say at the moment.

Lynch began talking in that fast, frenzied way again. "OK, should I do it over a couple tacos and a nice can of redbull? Alright, should I take her to New York and do it at the Statue of Liberty? Maybe I should ask her at the round table right before you guys present a case?" The damn idiot actually paused and looked pensive when he said that last bit. Thoughtfully, he said, "No, actually that may not work given the gruesome nature of your job." Derek, keeping his face neutral as he possibly could, was inwardly floored. How had he not thought this out better than that? Was this the best he could come up with? He had always supported Garcia's relationship with Lynch, because he was what she wanted, but damn it she deserved someone who could figure out how to propose to her without asking for help from another man. Lynch still wasn't done. "Oh, how about the high tech route and I pop up on an HD Mainframe?"

Morgan felt as if his head might explode. Redbull and tacos. Lynch popping out of a computer. Was this the best he could come up with? Penelope deserved . . . more. She deserved flowers and a beautiful view. She deserved words that wouldn't be enough to tell her how wonderful she was, but that would at least give her an inkling of what she meant to him. In those crazy seconds, with Lynch tailing him and spewing his horrendous ideas, Derek Morgan could think of exactly how he would ask Penelope Garcia to marry him. If she was his. Which she wasn't. SHIT! He had to get rid of Lynch, and quickly, because he could see the subject of their conversation watching them approach with that look in her eye.

"Kevin, seriously, I have a meeting I have to get to." Derek said with finality, before walking through the door to the briefing room.

"Derek, please, come on bro, this is important!" Lynch leaned between the railing and practically yelled at Morgan's back as he entered the briefing room. Derek inwardly cringed. Lynch was SUCH a moron-if his baby girl didn't think something was up before Lynch yelled loud enough for the entire bullpen to hear, she definitely would now. And the woman was ruthless when she didn't know what was going on . . . how could Lynch not know this about her? Surely he would know she was going to be on Morgan immediately wanting to know what they had been talking about. Derek Morgan, tough guy FBI, had a really hard time denying his colorful friend anything when she harassed him enough. This day was going to go from bad to worse quickly.

As soon as he was through the door, she was on him. "Um, hi, yeah, what was that about?" Penelope asked.

Damn, Morgan thought again, bad to worse. "Oh . . . yeah, he just wanted to talk"

Of course she wouldn't buy it. Penelope looked deeply troubled. "About what?" she asked.

He didn't want to lie to her. He never lied to her, and even if he did she would see right through him. "Just . . . guy stuff."

Her face fell a bit. "About me?"

Damn, damn, DAMN, he thought. What was he going to tell her? "I didn't say that . . ."

Hotch, God love him, saved Derek from having to come up with something by insisting they start the meeting.