The noise of the TV sounded throughout the living room. The light from the
set reflected off of the curtains casting a glow in the darkened room.
Buffy sat there with her knees curled beneath her on the couch, staring
blankly at the picture on the screen. She wasn't really watching it.
Thoughts continued to run through her mind, thoughts she was trying to
piece together. She still hadn't told anyone about where she had been for
the four months she was not in Sunnydale. Her friends still believed they
were the good Samaritans, rescuing her from the evil of Hell. She did not
want to tell them. They would only feel guilty for the next ten years, and
they would all tip-toe around her like she would break if they touched her.
She knew them all too well. It had been a few months now anyway, and she
was finally coming to terms with being back again. The money problems had
been seen to, and it was indescribable being back with Dawn. She would just
keep it to herself. The only thing was she hadn't kept it to herself. There
was one person she had told. She didn't know why the hell she had told this
person, but she had, for some strage reason. Her thoughts were interrupted
as the front door opened and her younger sister appeared in the living
room. Buffy tuned her attention to the teenager, who was leaning against
the door-frame; ready to go and deposit the overnight bag she was carrying
up in her bedroom.
"Hey, how was the sleep-over?" Buffy asked matter of factly.
"Same old same old. Janice's new boyfriend was there, he is HOT!"
Buffy wrinkled her brows at her sister. "Riiiight, nice to know."
Dawn began to walk away as she turned to walk up the stairs. "Yeah it is actually." She shouted.
Buffy shook her head in dismay as she turned her attention back towards the television.
"Oh and Spike's outside." Dawn shouted from her position at the top of the stairs.
"What?!"
"Yeah he's standing by the tree, smoking a cigarette. I spoke to him as I came in."
Buffy rolled her eyes. She thought Spike had gotten over waiting outside her house. She peeked out of the curtains as she kneeled up on the sofa. Surely enough Dawn had been right. She could see the top of his head and the cigarette smoke. Buffy closed the curtains with force as she sat back on the sofa and continued to watch the television. If she had thought she was distracted before, this time was a lot worse. Thoughts of Spike kept returning. She put it down to frustration, and she eventually gave in. She stormed out of the front door to where he was standing and stood directly in front of him, silent, as she placed her hand on her hip.
"Slayer." Spike nodded his head at her in recognition of her presence as he flicked the butt of his cigarette onto the concrete, stamping it out.
"Spike." Buffy replied. "Why're you here?" Straight to the point, she thought, best way with vampires.
Spike sniggered looking at the ground where his foot continued to swivel on the butt of his cigarette. He peered up at her beneath his dark lashes. The look was almost one of shyness, as he smiled with the corner of his mouth. "Free country pet."
Buffy sighed. She knew this was going no where. And that look he was giving her. Her eyes continuously flickered towards the house, as she tried to avoid the coy stare he was giving. Buffy turned around and began walking back into the house. She was half way up the porch steps when his voice stopped her.
"Buffy…wait."
She turned around with raised eyebrows. "Spike, what do you want?"
He looked her straight in the eyes this time. "You alright?"
She looked confused. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be?"
"What a bloody question. You died and got pulled outta heaven, are you s'posed to be alright 'bout that?" He looked down at the ground his time, kicking some random dirt below his boots. "I know I wouldn't be."
She sighed as she sat down on the porch step and put her head in her hands as she grabbed the hair at both sides of her head. She said nothing, just stared blankly at concrete in front of her. She suddenly felt a body sit down beside her. He did nothing, just sat there too. It was exactly what she needed. Just to know someone was there. They both sat there like that for some time. Buffy was thinking. Spike was there for her. Eventually she spoke up.
"It's just, I can't tell anyone. They wouldn't understand, but with that, I have to deal with it on my own."
Spike turned to look at her profile. "You're not on your own love."
Buffy turned to look at him for the first time since settling on the steps. She saw the sincere look in his eyes. A look of honestly and love. How could she deny him when he felt those things? It was more than anyone else felt for her at the moment. She smiled. "Thank you Spike. I really do mean that. I know you and me don't really see eye to eye but I do appreciate your support."
Spike continued to look at her and it appeared that tears were forming in her eyes as she turned her head back around. He really wanted to hold her, for her to know that he was there. Instead he placed his hand on her knee and squeezed gently, in a gesture of comfort. He half expected her to slap him right there and then for it but she did nothing. She sat there, staring straight ahead, letting him touch her. Although it was only small, it meant a lot to him. What he didn't know was that it also meant a lot to her at that moment. Suddenly the tears that were being held back began to fall from her eyes. Her chin began to tremble as she buried her head in her hands. Spike knew that if non-beating heart could break, it would have done right there and then.
"Shhh, love it's OK. Come on don't cry." He reluctantly took his hand off of her knee and placed I round her shoulders. Buffy immediately accepted this gesture and snuggled close to his side, burying her head to his chest. Spike instantly wrapped both of his arms around her, running his hands up and down her arms as she wept into the cotton of his shirt. They sat in that position for what seemed like hours. Although it wasn't much, it was a giant leap for the two of them.
The next morning arrived as the bright Californian sunlight peeked in through the gap in the bedroom curtains. Buffy awoke later than usual. She half opened her eyes as she rolled across her bed to look at the clock on the cabinet. It read 11.00am. She groaned as her head hit the pillow. Her eyes felt extremely swollen. Suddenly memories of last night came flooding back. Her crying. Her bearing all to Spike. Her crying on Spike. Shit. What had she done? She was not going to be able to look him in the eyes again! He must have thought she was a total sap. How girly was that? And to do it in front of Spike? He was never going to let her live this down. She sighed as she threw the bedcovers away and climbed out of the bed. She stretched slightly as she pulled on her robe and began to climb down the stairs. She was greeted immediately by the sight of Dawn, watching morning television, already washed and dressed. Well, it is 11am she thought. I should be washed and dressed. Buffy went over and sat down besides her sister. "Hey." She greeted, another slight yawn escaping her lips.
"Hey. What's up with you sleeping in so late? I thought you were usually the early bird." Dawn continued to stare at the television, whilst taking a sip of Orange Juice.
"Yeah, well, I guess I was suffering from early bird syndrome. One lie in every ten years wouldn't hurt right?"
Dawn looked at her sister. She could clearly see the puffy eyes her sister was sporting. It was obvious she had been crying for some time last night. Dawn decided to leave it though. She didn't want to get into anything right now, and Buffy didn't look ready to talk about whatever it was.
"Nope, sure wouldn't. So, you going over to the magic shop today?"
"Yeah, I was gonna go catch up wit whatever's going down in slayer land. It's been a little quiet on patrol recently so I'll see if Giles has found anything out."
"Can I come?" Dawn looked eager.
Buffy debated it. "What about that assignment you told me about?"
Dawn looked around the room frantically. "Uh, w…what assignment?"
"Exactly my point. You are staying here until it's done. Don't want another Summer's with no education. You can some over when you're done. Deal?"
Dawn gave an annoyed look. "Deal."
Buffy began to move off of the sofa. "K, well I'm gonna make myself look decent and then head off to the shop. They'll wanna know where I am. I'll maybe see you later."
"Sure."
Buffy began to head out of the room. "Oh and Dawn?"
"Yeah?"
"Get that assignment done."
Dawn rolled her eyes and saluted her older sister. "Yes sir!"
Buffy made her way down the streets of Sunnydale towards the magic shop. She felt more refreshed now as her hair hung loosely over her shoulders. It was a warm enough day and so she had decided to wear her new floral skirt she had purchased a few days ago. Always count on a little retail therapy to cheer you up. She finally approached the magic shop and walked in, plastering a bright smile on her face. She actually did feel a lot better this morning. Maybe it was the decent night's sleep she had gotten, or maybe it was pouring out her worries and feelings to someone last night. Whatever it was, she felt a hell of a lot better than yesterday.
"Hey guys, what's cooking?" She greeted brightly as she walked towards the counter, hopping up onto it. She looked at the faces around her. Willow and Tara were seated together at the table, looking over something on Willow's laptop. Xander was busy dusting a few objects on the shelves whilst Anya and Giles were situated directly behind her, behind the counter.
"Hey Buffy! Why you so late?" Willow asked cheerfully.
"Well, I actually slept in for the first time in, like forever. It has actually made me feel a lot better. Might have to do it again sometime."
"Buffy, the sleeping in vampire slayer. Would have never guessed." Xander's voice could be heard from amongst the shelves. Buffy sniggered at her friend's comment.
"Sooooo, Giles, out found out anything about why it's so quiet in the land of all things that go bump in the night?" Buffy swivelled around on the counter top so that she was facing the middle-aged man.
"Well, no not really. Although I am not expressing great worry. There comes a time in every slayer's career when things so get a little…well, slow. Things should pick up again soon though, do not worry." Giles looked down at the papers that needed seeing to on the counter.
"Oh I'm not worrying. Actually quite enjoying the peace and quiet. Buffy turned herself around once more on the counter top. She let out a small shriek as she was immediately face to face with Spike.
"Something wrong Slayer?" He smirked.
"Don't do that to me Spike! You scared the living daylights outta me!" Buffy exclaimed frustrated.
"Well there's a first." He continued to smirk at her.
Buffy suddenly turned a little embarrassed. This was the first time she had come in contact with Spike since last night. She didn't really know how to react after showing him such vulnerability. Spike leaned in slightly whispering near her ear.
"Can I speak to you for a sec pet?"
Buffy looked confused. "Why?"
"Just…can I? In the back?" Spike motioned with his head over towards the training room.
Buffy looked around at the people around her. No one really seemed to be taking any notice. She sighed and jumped off of the counter. Spike smiled and she followed him into the back room. Why she was doing this she did not know.
Buffy closed the door behind her and walked over to the side of the room where she leaned casually against the wall. Spike stood in front of her. He put a hand on her shoulder and looked solemnly into her eyes.
"I just wanted to see if you were alright, after last night I mean."
Buffy broke the eye contact and looked down at the floor. She felt slightly uncomfortable, but at the same time, she was glad that he was still there for her and that he wasn't teasing her about her display last night. She eventually looked up at him again.
"Yeah. I guess I am actually feeling a lot better after pouring my feelings out so to speak. Spike, I am sorry for burdening you with it all. I guess you think I'm a right freak."
Spike sniggered, then placing a hand on each of her shoulders. "Love, don't you think it's the other way around there?"
Buffy laughed.
"And don't feel sorry at all. I know you don't want to hear this but I care Buffy. I don't like seeing you hurting and so it made me feel so good last night knowing that you could talk to me. I'm here for you alright?" As he finished he ran his hands down both of her arms, taking her hands in his. He didn't even think of what he was doing, it all seemed so natural to him. Buffy continued to look in his eyes. Then all of a sudden she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waste. Just being held by him felt so good at this moment. All their differences were forgotten. All her hatred for him flew out the window. At that moment it was just him holding her, his strong masculine arms wrapped tightly around her petite waste. His hand rubbing up and down her back soothingly. Eventually Buffy pulled away. He still held her, his arms around her waste, as their faces were inches apart. Suddenly, before either of them knew what was happening, his lips were upon hers. The kiss they shared was not one of passion, nor one of hunger. It was gentle. The feel of his cool lips, briefly skimming over hers ever so softly over and over was like heaven all over again. Her lips tasted so sweet to him. Buffy wrapped her arm around Spike's neck as she pulled him closer to her. He tilted his head ever so slightly and the kiss was deepened. From that moment on, they were in paradise.
"Hey, how was the sleep-over?" Buffy asked matter of factly.
"Same old same old. Janice's new boyfriend was there, he is HOT!"
Buffy wrinkled her brows at her sister. "Riiiight, nice to know."
Dawn began to walk away as she turned to walk up the stairs. "Yeah it is actually." She shouted.
Buffy shook her head in dismay as she turned her attention back towards the television.
"Oh and Spike's outside." Dawn shouted from her position at the top of the stairs.
"What?!"
"Yeah he's standing by the tree, smoking a cigarette. I spoke to him as I came in."
Buffy rolled her eyes. She thought Spike had gotten over waiting outside her house. She peeked out of the curtains as she kneeled up on the sofa. Surely enough Dawn had been right. She could see the top of his head and the cigarette smoke. Buffy closed the curtains with force as she sat back on the sofa and continued to watch the television. If she had thought she was distracted before, this time was a lot worse. Thoughts of Spike kept returning. She put it down to frustration, and she eventually gave in. She stormed out of the front door to where he was standing and stood directly in front of him, silent, as she placed her hand on her hip.
"Slayer." Spike nodded his head at her in recognition of her presence as he flicked the butt of his cigarette onto the concrete, stamping it out.
"Spike." Buffy replied. "Why're you here?" Straight to the point, she thought, best way with vampires.
Spike sniggered looking at the ground where his foot continued to swivel on the butt of his cigarette. He peered up at her beneath his dark lashes. The look was almost one of shyness, as he smiled with the corner of his mouth. "Free country pet."
Buffy sighed. She knew this was going no where. And that look he was giving her. Her eyes continuously flickered towards the house, as she tried to avoid the coy stare he was giving. Buffy turned around and began walking back into the house. She was half way up the porch steps when his voice stopped her.
"Buffy…wait."
She turned around with raised eyebrows. "Spike, what do you want?"
He looked her straight in the eyes this time. "You alright?"
She looked confused. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be?"
"What a bloody question. You died and got pulled outta heaven, are you s'posed to be alright 'bout that?" He looked down at the ground his time, kicking some random dirt below his boots. "I know I wouldn't be."
She sighed as she sat down on the porch step and put her head in her hands as she grabbed the hair at both sides of her head. She said nothing, just stared blankly at concrete in front of her. She suddenly felt a body sit down beside her. He did nothing, just sat there too. It was exactly what she needed. Just to know someone was there. They both sat there like that for some time. Buffy was thinking. Spike was there for her. Eventually she spoke up.
"It's just, I can't tell anyone. They wouldn't understand, but with that, I have to deal with it on my own."
Spike turned to look at her profile. "You're not on your own love."
Buffy turned to look at him for the first time since settling on the steps. She saw the sincere look in his eyes. A look of honestly and love. How could she deny him when he felt those things? It was more than anyone else felt for her at the moment. She smiled. "Thank you Spike. I really do mean that. I know you and me don't really see eye to eye but I do appreciate your support."
Spike continued to look at her and it appeared that tears were forming in her eyes as she turned her head back around. He really wanted to hold her, for her to know that he was there. Instead he placed his hand on her knee and squeezed gently, in a gesture of comfort. He half expected her to slap him right there and then for it but she did nothing. She sat there, staring straight ahead, letting him touch her. Although it was only small, it meant a lot to him. What he didn't know was that it also meant a lot to her at that moment. Suddenly the tears that were being held back began to fall from her eyes. Her chin began to tremble as she buried her head in her hands. Spike knew that if non-beating heart could break, it would have done right there and then.
"Shhh, love it's OK. Come on don't cry." He reluctantly took his hand off of her knee and placed I round her shoulders. Buffy immediately accepted this gesture and snuggled close to his side, burying her head to his chest. Spike instantly wrapped both of his arms around her, running his hands up and down her arms as she wept into the cotton of his shirt. They sat in that position for what seemed like hours. Although it wasn't much, it was a giant leap for the two of them.
The next morning arrived as the bright Californian sunlight peeked in through the gap in the bedroom curtains. Buffy awoke later than usual. She half opened her eyes as she rolled across her bed to look at the clock on the cabinet. It read 11.00am. She groaned as her head hit the pillow. Her eyes felt extremely swollen. Suddenly memories of last night came flooding back. Her crying. Her bearing all to Spike. Her crying on Spike. Shit. What had she done? She was not going to be able to look him in the eyes again! He must have thought she was a total sap. How girly was that? And to do it in front of Spike? He was never going to let her live this down. She sighed as she threw the bedcovers away and climbed out of the bed. She stretched slightly as she pulled on her robe and began to climb down the stairs. She was greeted immediately by the sight of Dawn, watching morning television, already washed and dressed. Well, it is 11am she thought. I should be washed and dressed. Buffy went over and sat down besides her sister. "Hey." She greeted, another slight yawn escaping her lips.
"Hey. What's up with you sleeping in so late? I thought you were usually the early bird." Dawn continued to stare at the television, whilst taking a sip of Orange Juice.
"Yeah, well, I guess I was suffering from early bird syndrome. One lie in every ten years wouldn't hurt right?"
Dawn looked at her sister. She could clearly see the puffy eyes her sister was sporting. It was obvious she had been crying for some time last night. Dawn decided to leave it though. She didn't want to get into anything right now, and Buffy didn't look ready to talk about whatever it was.
"Nope, sure wouldn't. So, you going over to the magic shop today?"
"Yeah, I was gonna go catch up wit whatever's going down in slayer land. It's been a little quiet on patrol recently so I'll see if Giles has found anything out."
"Can I come?" Dawn looked eager.
Buffy debated it. "What about that assignment you told me about?"
Dawn looked around the room frantically. "Uh, w…what assignment?"
"Exactly my point. You are staying here until it's done. Don't want another Summer's with no education. You can some over when you're done. Deal?"
Dawn gave an annoyed look. "Deal."
Buffy began to move off of the sofa. "K, well I'm gonna make myself look decent and then head off to the shop. They'll wanna know where I am. I'll maybe see you later."
"Sure."
Buffy began to head out of the room. "Oh and Dawn?"
"Yeah?"
"Get that assignment done."
Dawn rolled her eyes and saluted her older sister. "Yes sir!"
Buffy made her way down the streets of Sunnydale towards the magic shop. She felt more refreshed now as her hair hung loosely over her shoulders. It was a warm enough day and so she had decided to wear her new floral skirt she had purchased a few days ago. Always count on a little retail therapy to cheer you up. She finally approached the magic shop and walked in, plastering a bright smile on her face. She actually did feel a lot better this morning. Maybe it was the decent night's sleep she had gotten, or maybe it was pouring out her worries and feelings to someone last night. Whatever it was, she felt a hell of a lot better than yesterday.
"Hey guys, what's cooking?" She greeted brightly as she walked towards the counter, hopping up onto it. She looked at the faces around her. Willow and Tara were seated together at the table, looking over something on Willow's laptop. Xander was busy dusting a few objects on the shelves whilst Anya and Giles were situated directly behind her, behind the counter.
"Hey Buffy! Why you so late?" Willow asked cheerfully.
"Well, I actually slept in for the first time in, like forever. It has actually made me feel a lot better. Might have to do it again sometime."
"Buffy, the sleeping in vampire slayer. Would have never guessed." Xander's voice could be heard from amongst the shelves. Buffy sniggered at her friend's comment.
"Sooooo, Giles, out found out anything about why it's so quiet in the land of all things that go bump in the night?" Buffy swivelled around on the counter top so that she was facing the middle-aged man.
"Well, no not really. Although I am not expressing great worry. There comes a time in every slayer's career when things so get a little…well, slow. Things should pick up again soon though, do not worry." Giles looked down at the papers that needed seeing to on the counter.
"Oh I'm not worrying. Actually quite enjoying the peace and quiet. Buffy turned herself around once more on the counter top. She let out a small shriek as she was immediately face to face with Spike.
"Something wrong Slayer?" He smirked.
"Don't do that to me Spike! You scared the living daylights outta me!" Buffy exclaimed frustrated.
"Well there's a first." He continued to smirk at her.
Buffy suddenly turned a little embarrassed. This was the first time she had come in contact with Spike since last night. She didn't really know how to react after showing him such vulnerability. Spike leaned in slightly whispering near her ear.
"Can I speak to you for a sec pet?"
Buffy looked confused. "Why?"
"Just…can I? In the back?" Spike motioned with his head over towards the training room.
Buffy looked around at the people around her. No one really seemed to be taking any notice. She sighed and jumped off of the counter. Spike smiled and she followed him into the back room. Why she was doing this she did not know.
Buffy closed the door behind her and walked over to the side of the room where she leaned casually against the wall. Spike stood in front of her. He put a hand on her shoulder and looked solemnly into her eyes.
"I just wanted to see if you were alright, after last night I mean."
Buffy broke the eye contact and looked down at the floor. She felt slightly uncomfortable, but at the same time, she was glad that he was still there for her and that he wasn't teasing her about her display last night. She eventually looked up at him again.
"Yeah. I guess I am actually feeling a lot better after pouring my feelings out so to speak. Spike, I am sorry for burdening you with it all. I guess you think I'm a right freak."
Spike sniggered, then placing a hand on each of her shoulders. "Love, don't you think it's the other way around there?"
Buffy laughed.
"And don't feel sorry at all. I know you don't want to hear this but I care Buffy. I don't like seeing you hurting and so it made me feel so good last night knowing that you could talk to me. I'm here for you alright?" As he finished he ran his hands down both of her arms, taking her hands in his. He didn't even think of what he was doing, it all seemed so natural to him. Buffy continued to look in his eyes. Then all of a sudden she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waste. Just being held by him felt so good at this moment. All their differences were forgotten. All her hatred for him flew out the window. At that moment it was just him holding her, his strong masculine arms wrapped tightly around her petite waste. His hand rubbing up and down her back soothingly. Eventually Buffy pulled away. He still held her, his arms around her waste, as their faces were inches apart. Suddenly, before either of them knew what was happening, his lips were upon hers. The kiss they shared was not one of passion, nor one of hunger. It was gentle. The feel of his cool lips, briefly skimming over hers ever so softly over and over was like heaven all over again. Her lips tasted so sweet to him. Buffy wrapped her arm around Spike's neck as she pulled him closer to her. He tilted his head ever so slightly and the kiss was deepened. From that moment on, they were in paradise.