AN: For a 15 one-shot challenge at Warriors Challenge Forum. Do not read if you do not want to know spoilers for 12 months can Change a Lot, Blizzardstream's Hope, or a future story, Coalstorm's Tale.
Envy
I envy you Blizzardpaw.
You have a love. We can all see it.
I lost mine, Stormpaw. Died when you could have saved him. Oh, I saw you. You stood there, watching as he got trampled by those warriors, saving me.
I know you're loyal to your Clan, but that was a life that never should have been lost.
And you ended it.
But I still envy you. For those friends, your personality that shines through, trying to be nice, and succeeding. Not failing like I do.
But I gave up long ago.
Rabbitleap's mother brushes against me, looking with concern. Sugarbreeze annoys me sometimes. She pities me too much. Well, she doesn't have to. But she does anyway.
You have friends, Greypelt, Owltalon. I only have our mother, who loves us all equally, over pitying Sugarbreeze, who shares her love with her kits and us.
Mosspaw doesn't like me either. She drifted away long ago, back when we became apprentices. Her friends visit her in dreams, I think.
Even my mentor hates me. She doesn't like many though, just her son and mate.
I'm in the dark with friends. I don't know how to make them, or keep them. Or choose the right ones. I mean, Flowerpaw is a medicine cat apprentice of ThunderClan. We're at war with them.
I envy you, even when you come back from that fateful patrol, sobbing.
Even when there is strain in your voice as you request your warrior name. I admire you for that. I'd never choose Coalstorm as mine. I'd hate it with all my soul.
I envy you, and I will forever, I think.
AN: It was better the first time, but the computer froze...