Idiot Syndrome is a True Story

I was planning to go through with it; I swear. I was ready. I came packed with heavy metal clanking silently in my messenger bag, taking up the space that once held text books and classwork. I am no coward, there's no way I'd go back on my word.

Absolutely no way

You hear about the classrooms where there are the students who stand out, the loud, boisterous idiots that don't know when to shut up, and then the ones that silently slip through the cracks; the ones who fade into the background where no one bothered to look, and if they were to look, they never saw you.

I slipped through, fading away, taking slow steps while other were taking leaps. I slipped through and I couldn't find the strength to pull my way out.

I'm weak, I know. I'm reminded every day. I wasn't strong enough to pull myself out and nobody cared. I didn't care. I didn't need them, and they didn't need me.

Finally, I'd decided one day during lunch, as Kiba was pouring my unfinished soup down my school uniform trousers, as kids looked at me with little remorse and even hints of joy, that I came to the realization that I was finished with these dumbshit morons finding me the equivalent to a circus monkey. I had a plan.

It was an accident, at first. Walking home, the sticky feeling causing me to cringe with my every step, it was just one of those things you happened upon.

My grandfather must've forgotten to leave his 'Secret' study locked when he'd left that morning. It was a room we were always told not to enter and was always locked for reasons that were unknown to both himself and his older brother Itachi. When I'd seen that the door was cracked, a spark of adrenaline rushed up my spine. The stickiness was soon pushed to the back of my mind. My eyes widened at the sight presented to me.

Brilliant. The enormous amounts of weaponry displayed across every wall nearly blinded me. Guns, knives, bullets, mallets, nightsticks, chains, I went mad. You could call it a temporary moment of insanity, but at the time it felt so right. The perfect way to spark up my dull, unattached life. The perfect way to get rid of those snickering pieces of shit lurking around the hallways.

I snuck in later on that night, my school bag slung over my shoulder and clutched tightly to my side. I rushed over, my steps rushed and frenzied. In seconds I found myself shoving the heavy artillery into my bag. The heavier it got, the more exhilarated I felt. My heart was pounding enough to cloud my ears, my blood flowing wildly to my brain. I was intoxicated by some unknown force.

It was amazing.

By the time my alarm clock rung, the feeling was still fresh. I'd put on my uniform, my mother having washed it without my knowing, and bounded out the house like an animal. I came to school and everything was so normal. So normal that it was almost sickening. Nobody seemed to remember that I'd been humiliated and if they did they probably didn't recognize me without food sticking to my hair and glasses.

My eyes darted around, my mind running at an incredible speed. Who would be first? Who would be next? Where should I start? How long would it last?

Then, it happened.

My life twisted and flipped and crashed and burned to hell. One moment, changed everything.

I felt someone bump into me, the force causing my frail body to nearly fling back onto the floor when at that moment a firm hand gripped my arm. I quickly panicked; my free arm clinging to the bag for fear that the contents would suddenly spill out.

"Hey Sasuke, are you alright?" my head snapped to the offending hand gripping my arm, and realized that the boy whom had seemingly 'saved' me was nearly crushing me against his chest.

But at that moment, I couldn't find myself to feel distressed at the unfamiliar touch.

At that moment, I couldn't do anything. I looked up and saw blue. I felt so lost; my body completely shut down.

He knew my name.

Somebody knew my name and it wasn't a teacher, or my brother, or some bastard trying to find a way to make me look like a fool.

"Sasuke… um, sorry dude. Are you alright?" he looked so concerned, as if I was a puppy and he'd stepped on my paw. He was looking right at me, and in that moment, that exhilarated feeling, the excitement, my head strong motives… they all faded into dust.

Reality slapped me in the face. Hard. Suddenly, I felt as if the hand grasping me had turned into fire. I quickly tore my arm out of his hold. He looked shocked and I could feel eyes staring at us, some lingering, others passing by.

I clamped a hand over my mouth holding in the vile substance making its way up my throat and batting against the inside of my teeth. I pushed past the boy, one arm still wrapped around my bag as to make sure nothing were to fall out.

My mind was spinning.

I finally made it to the bathroom and didn't waste any time going to the stalls and instead my body forced me towards the trashcan littered with used paper towels sitting in the corner of the room. I convulsed and coughed, chunks of last night's dinner finding its way into the trash.

When it was over, I stayed that way for a while. My eyes were closed and watery. When I'd straightened myself up the warning bell had just rung. I looked over towards the sinks and the student who'd been staring at me in my moment had quickly apologized before bounding out of the door. I sighed.

What the hell was I thinking?

I leaned against one of the walls and let my weight pull me onto the floor. I felt so dizzy, so tired and exhausted.

My life had just been changed.

I was alive and so was everyone out side of these bathroom walls. The world I'd planned on creating had been crushed and tossed away in one instant.

Who was that idiot anyway?

I felt my eyes growing heavy, despite being on the grungy bathroom floor; despite the fact that virtually anyone could walk in at any time.

I didn't care anymore.

I just wanted to go to sleep, and maybe forget that some idiot had just made me want to live another day all because he said my name.

This isn't going to be completely depressing, I promise. I'm actually going to try and make this as lighthearted as possible. Just saying, I felt kind of shitty after writing this.

Thanks, please R&R and whatnot, it'd be most appreciated.