Notes:
So I'm back with a third part in the Beautiful Mess verse, because I simple can't keep myself away from this story. It's been almost a year since I posted the epilogue of Beautiful Mess and a year has passed in the story as well – it's now December 2018. Writing previous parts of this story I always imagined a winter wedding, so that's what you'll get even if it's now spring in my part of the world - it just took me some time to figure out if the wedding should be in New York or in Lima ;). This part is completely angst free (I think), just fluff and some more fluff. And, well, there's also a wedding night…
I decided to split this part into five chapters instead of one long one-shot because a friend told me it might be easier to read it this way. I don't know, but maybe she's got a point. The first chapter starts on the night before the wedding.
English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.
Kurt, Friday December 21st 2018, 9.42 pm
Outside it's dark, it has been for hours, but in here my bedside light shines with a warm, dull yellow glow. I'm in my teenage bed, staring up at the ceiling, wrapped in an old woolen blanket that used to be my mom's. On cold winter nights like this, she would bundle up with the blanket and a warm cup of tea down here. Before it became my bedroom, the basement was her domain and she made part of it into a reading corner with a comfy armchair, a small table and with a lamp that later became my bedside light. She'd get completely absorbed in the stories she was reading and lose track of time, but whenever I came down, she would put down her book and open up her blanket for me to curl up next to her. The chair was too small for two, but still perfect for the two of us.
Being down here alone, surrounded by her things, makes me realize how much I wished she was still here. I would love for her to meet Blaine, to see what an extraordinary special man he is and how lucky I am to be loved by him. But more than anything, I wish she could be here to see me walk down the aisle tomorrow. Thinking about her and missing her always leaves a feeling of emptiness inside me, but tonight it doesn't last very long. Thinking about tomorrow, about Blaine and me, quickly replaces the emptiness with happiness.
I've been looking forward to this day for almost a year now, to marry the man who has made me laugh and love and cry more than any other. The man who broke my heart and left me a shattered wreck who believed he would never love again. The man who came back and made me whole. The man who completes me.
Nerves tickle the inside of my belly when I think about it. It's the good kind of nerves, the kind of anticipation and excitement. I've actually been looking forward to this day for much longer than a year. Way back when we were teenagers who discovered each other and what love really was, I think I started to plan our wedding already then. On some level I always knew Blaine was the love of my life, that there would never be anybody else quite like him.
Everything is planned and prepared for tomorrow, there's nothing more for me to do than to get a good night's sleep and show up well rested tomorrow. Sleep isn't anywhere near for me though. It's too early, there's too much flutter in my body and I can't stop thinking about Blaine. I miss him even though it's silly because I saw him a few hours ago. It's only one night we're apart, but I can't help but wishing he was here with me, if for no other reasons than to hold me until I fall asleep.
There is also this one thing I worry about when it comes to tomorrow, one thing that keeps me from completely relaxing. No matter how much I have prepared and practiced, there's no way I cannot not be nervous about this.
To keep myself distracted I go over the words I've written to Blaine one more time, not that I need to, I know them by heart by now. When that doesn't help, I put on some music. Not just any music, Blaine's music. Even if Blaine isn't here with me, I can still listen to his voice and it's almost like he's here. I close my eyes and hug my pillow, pretending it's him. It still smells like him from last night when he was lying beside me and I curse traditions. We've always been untraditional but not seeing each other on the night before our wedding was something we both agreed on. Not that I'm superstitious, but it's seems like an unnecessary risk to take.
Can you feel my heart, beating fast.
You make me fall in love tonight.
Letting the lyrics of Close Like This wash over me makes my skin prickle because they bring back that feeling of falling in love and that of realizing he loves me back. Blaine recorded the song for me once he found out it was my favorite. It sounds almost the same as the first night he performed it, stripped-down with only him and his guitar.
When we're close like this, I get hypnotized.
When I kiss your lips, I get mesmerized.
Hugging the pillow a little tighter, I try not to get too carried away by my own emotions, but the truth is, I would give anything for to kiss him right now.
The unexpected sound of a key turning and unlocking my door has me biting my lip to prevent a big, goofy grin from spreading across my face. There are four people beside me who have a key to the house, but there's only one with a reason to use my basement door. Blaine's dark silhouette toeing off his shoes in the darkness brings back so many memories and that smile is there no matter how much I try to keep it away.
"What are you doing here?" I admonish, though I'm thrilled to see him. "It's bad luck to see the groom before the wedding."
"Actually," Blaine says, and I can hear the pleased tone in his voice, like he's figured out the equation to eternal life, "it's bad luck to see the groom before the wedding on the day of the wedding. It's not our wedding day for another couple of hours ergo I'm not bringing us bad luck. Besides, I could hear Finn and Rachel giggle in the room next to mine and, well, I didn't need to hear what came next."
"I miss you, too," I say and open up my blanket for him to slide in next to me. He may make up as many excuses as he likes, but I know his true reason for being down here.
"I know," Blaine says and snuggles in close. "I can tell from your choice of music."
His legs intertwine with mine, and I shiver as his icy toes connects with my calves. Or maybe it's from his cold nose when a feather light kiss lands on my neck. But no matter how cold he is from the freezing winter night outside, he always fills my heart with warmth.
"Why the back door? Why not use the stairs inside and spare yourself from freezing your toes off?" I ask.
"Because tomorrow we'll be married and this was my last chance to sneak past Burt to be with you," Blaine says and I can see his silly smile in front of me even though I can't actually see it.
"You know he wouldn't mind one bit that you're down here with me, right?"
"He had actually already fallen asleep in front of the TV, but that's not the point." Blaine looks up at me and when our eyes meet he goes quiet.
My breath hitches when I look into his eyes. Will I ever not become breathless when I look at him? "What is the point?" I ask a bit hoarser than before.
Blaine looks confused at first, but then a smile plays on his lips. "The point is that I love you."
I don't know if that answers my question, but it's not like it matters when he looks at me like that and tells me he loves me. I tilt my head down to meet his lips in a kiss that leaves me breathless on a whole other level. Our tongues instantly connect and his hand cups my cheek and pulls me closer. He tastes like minty toothpaste, and as my hand strokes his arm and back I notice that he's already in his pajama ready for bed. "I love you, too," I say when we stop to breathe.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight," Blaine says, resting his head in the crook of my neck again.
"Nervous? Second thoughts?"
"Of course not, silly. You have to hire a very strong man to pry me away from you if you want to get rid of me."
"So you haven't come down here for one final night of amazing sex before you leave to never be heard of again?" I tease. "Good to know."
"Meh, been there, done that," Blaine teases back. "Besides, I told you I'm not having sex with you in this house."
"Thank God we're spending tomorrow night away from here!" I exclaim like I'm saying 'Hallelujah!', happy that we can make jokes about the dark parts of our relationship. I know where Blaine draws his lines in our relationship and though I don't agree with him on this one I understand that he wants to respect Dad. Not that Dad's ever set any rules on us spending time alone together down here, but he's the only parental figure Blaine has left in his life.
Blaine's chuckle ripples through my body and I begin to chuckle too. Soon we're a giggling mess, wiping tears from our cheeks, and I realize this is exactly what I needed to relax. Blaine in my arms, kissing me and making me laugh. This is what I want for all the days to come in my forever with Blaine. I'm suddenly exhausted, days of planning and preparing and re-arranging seating arrangements in the last minute is finally taking its toll and I can't hold back a yawn.
"Ready to go to sleep?" Blaine asks softly with a light kiss to my jawbone and I wonder if he came down here because he knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without him next to me.
"No," I say defiantly right before another yawn. "I want to lie here with you and talk all night." I run my fingers through his soft curls that are still a little bit damp from his shower and place a kiss on his forehead.
Blaine tilts his head back and looks up at me, a thousand smiles and promises shining from his eyes. "We have a whole future for late night talks, but we only have one night to rest before our wedding."
I kiss him, because I can and because he's smart and because sometimes he knows me better than I do myself. I kiss him because I love him and because he makes me so incredibly happy. Because this is my last chance to kiss him before our wedding day. I kiss him with every ounce of love that I have for him. The kiss stirs the butterflies in my stomach and it's the best feeling. It stirs something else too, but I ignore it. It would be a vain attempt anyway. I don't know if Blaine can feel my growing erection against his thigh but he sighs blissfully when he pulls away.
"Let me hold you," he whispers and I happily shift so that my back rests against his chest, his arms hugging me like a tight blanket. "It's snowing outside," he continues. "It will be a beautiful white winter wedding, just like you dreamed it would be."
As he says those words, I realize that his hair wasn't damp from his shower, it was from the snow falling down on him. I should want to run to the window and look out, but I'm too tired and it's so good to be in Blaine's arms, feeling his semi-hard against my ass, and a magical snow fairy swinging her wand to create a beautiful winter wonderland couldn't make me leave.
"Will you still be here in the morning?" I ask, my mind already drifting.
"Probably not," Blaine murmurs softly. "Wedding traditions, you know."
Blaine's hand finding mine, lacing our fingers together, kissing my neck and him mumbling some words I try really hard to listen to, but it's like he's in another world far away from mine, are the last things I remember before sleep carries me away.