Re-uploaded because I needed to make a few changes. Read on.

"Alright, I'm going. You want anything, Sasuke?" Naruto called from the front hallway, pulling on his coat. He heard Sasuke snort from the kitchen.

"You're going to a sweets shop, dobe. You know I hate sweets."

Naruto sighed. How true, he did know. He and Sasuke had been together for three years now, and had spent three Valentine's Days in each other's company. Sasuke always managed to main stoic and icy, even on holidays (and especially on Valentine's Day), though he did let his kinder nature show enough to buy Naruto another year's supply of ramen at Ichiraku's. Naruto, usually most joyful of anyone on holidays, held a slight grudge against Valentine's Day, despite it being the day his supply of free ramen was renewed. He always had a nagging little voice at the back of his head urging him to get Sasuke something, and he was sure the voice knew that his boyfriend would never have liked any of the traditional Valentine's Day gifts. Sasuke detested sweets, and the more cutesy gifts that Sakura and Ino always squealed over held no appeal for either Naruto or Sasuke. So Naruto ended up giving Sasuke nothing every year. Well, unless what happened in their bedroom that night counted as a present…

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, which were heading in a rather risqué direction, Naruto poked his head into the kitchen where Sasuke was sitting with a cup of tea, reading something. "Of course I know you hate sweets, bastard. But I've gotta go somewhere to pick up a cabbage, anyway, so if there's anything your majesty needs…"

Ignoring the "majesty" comment, Sasuke raised an eyebrow and looked up from whatever book he'd been reading. "A cabbage?"

Naruto shrugged. "When Sakura-chan asked Lee what he wanted for his birthday he went on and on about cabbages being 'the food of youth' or something stupid like that. So besides a cake and a party, everyone's going to give Lee a cabbage for his birthday."

"Hn." Sasuke went back to his book. "I just picked up groceries on Monday. We don't need anything."

"Good." Naruto left the room.

"Dobe."

"Yeah?" He poked his head around the doorframe.

"Try not to drop the cake all over the shop owner like you did on Shikamaru's birthday. That's our fifth dry cleaning bill this year that wasn't for our clothes. I don't know why they keep putting you in charge of cakes."

"Because I don't have a stick up my ass, maybe," said Naruto, sticking out his tongue, but Sasuke had already turned back to his book again. Growling, he wrapped his coat tighter around himself and stepped out into the cold.

"Sasuke? I'm back." Naruto slammed the door with his foot, pulling off his jacket. His yell was met with silence. "Sasuke!" This time a quiet yelp sounded from the kitchen, and there was a skittering noise like marbles being dropped followed by a muttered expletive. Naruto frowned. "Sasuke?"

There was no answer save for more quiet cursing. Still frowning, Naruto moved towards the doorway of the kitchen. "Sasuke, what're you—" He was met with the sight of Sasuke on his hands and knees on the floor, crawling around at a speed that would have been impossible for anyone who wasn't a ninja. He was apparently trying to pick up the numerous small, multi-colored items that had spilled out of a bag on a the counter, upon which was written—

"Skittles!?"

Naruto held up the bag incredulously, ignoring Sasuke's death glare from the floor. "I come home to see that all the lights have been turned off, so I'm getting all worried thinking maybe some enemy ninja snuck in and ambushed you while I was gone, when really the whole time you were sitting here in the dark, secretly eating your way through a pound and a half of skittles?" The only response that warranted was another glare. Naruto's grin couldn't possibly get any wider. "Oh, you just wait. What's going to happen when everyone in Konoha hears that Uchiha Sasuke, hater of anything and everything sweet, has a secret obsession with skittles?"

That got him a response. Having finally finished picking up his spilled candy, Sasuke stood and looked Naruto in the eye. "You," he said, poking the blonde in the chest, "are not going to tell anyone. Do you know what the fangirls would do if they found out? Mountains of skittles, Naruto. They'd leave mountains of them outside our door. You'd have to rasengan them out of the way for us to even leave the house." He turned back to the counter, sighing moodily. "When they're going to get it through their thick heads that I've got a boyfriend, for Kami-sama's sake, I do not know."

"Yeah, I know," Naruto agreed, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's waist from behind as the raven popped a few more candies into his mouth. "Well, I guess I can get a bit of satisfaction out of being the only one entrusted with this deep, dark secret of yours." He chuckled. "Skittles."

Sasuke groaned. "Usuratonkatchi."

Naruto just grinned in response and kissed Sasuke lightly on the lips. Not satisfied with that, Sasuke's hand snaked up behind Naruto to press against the back of his neck, deepening their kiss. After a moment, Naruto pulled away.

"It's just like I thought," he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and leaning back against the counter. The raven just rolled his eyes.

"What, dobe?"

Naruto grinned. "You taste like the rainbow."

Sasuke smacked him over the head and flushed slightly, muttering, "Idiot."

And here ends the pointless yet hopefully amusing oneshot of doom.

-Gem