In our world, heroes exist, heroes who sought to save the world from villains, sometimes though, heroes can't save everyone.
It sounds pessimistic, but my earliest memories are of fire and death.
I was probably six or seven when, what I assume was, my home, along with a hundred other homes, were caught in the aftermath of a dangerous villain.
The streets were set ablaze, a raging fire was consuming everything, from houses to people.
And I walked, I told you before these were my earliest memories, doctors would later tell me, that I lost everything, but a purpose, survive.
Anything and everything that didn't lend to my survival, was abandoned.
My memories holding me back? Gone.
My emotions stopping me from going forward? Gone.
So, I walked, stubbornly refusing to die, to do anything but live.
No matter what, I walked.
Someone begging for help? I walked.
My own body begging to rest? I walked.I think I was barely conscious as I walked.
One thought that did stick with me was: 'Where are the heroes?'
Like any child, I thought a hero would save me if I was in danger.
I remember stopping, whether it was because I succumbed to my body, or the memories of all the other people begging for a hero dying, made me realize how hopeless it all was, I don't know.
I tried to continue walking, tried to save myself, but my legs wouldn't listen, couldn't listen, I tripped forward.
I hit something on my way down, so I ended up on my back, I lost track of time after that.
I remember thinking this was the end, I was going to die just like everyone else, but I didn't want to accept that.
I don't think I ever gave up on trying to stand back up, get back up.
I remember the first drop of rain that fell on me, it fell on my outstretched hand, and that single drop, stole the rest of my strength, my hand fell.
But I was saved, by a smiling man.
Kiritsugu Emiya.
He had a kind of Time Quirk, 'Time Adjustment' it made pockets of slowed time, and an object previously slowed down, has to be later accelerated for the equal amount.
He had slowed me down to stasis levels, then he carried me to a hospital where he kept me in stasis until the doctors were ready to perform on me.
After they were done, he released his hold on me, my recovery was accelerated by a few hours. Which meant I was ready for more surgeries.
I eventually woke up from my dreams of fire, death and a smile.
I was able to recall my name, Shirou, but nothing else about my past life.
A few days later, Kiritsugu Emiya introduced himself, and adopted me.
When my nightmares came to be too much for to keep to myself, I shared them with Kiritsugu.
He was able to shed some light on a few things, mainly, where the heroes were.
They were saving people, and a lot of them also died stopping the villains that caused the fire.
But the thing he made sure I understood was that:"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
That was why I witnessed so many deaths, it meant more had lived.
Heroes choose to save more lives, I was just unfortunate to be in a less populated place.
Maybe his blunt way of telling me this caused my initial impression of heroes to be poor, as I chlld with no memories, I no longer understood why heroes were so great.
As my nightmares continued, so did the growing feeling of emptiness inside me.
I tried ignoring it, then I tried distracting myself with menial tasks, I took a liking to cooking, not that Kiritsugu was terrible, but my own exploration of the kitchen revealed ingredients he doesn't use.
Wanting a distraction and to experience more flavors, I asked Kiritsugu to teach me the basics, then I was on my way to surpassing him.
The nightmares continued until they became dreams, the fire no longer scared me, I became desensitized to the deaths, and the emptiness was threatening to swallow me.
I remember the day I understood why I felt empty.
It had been nearly a year after I was adopted, I wouldn't say much had changed with me in that year, aside from my lack of care at the sight of death in my dreams, but my life had changed.
I surpassed Kiritsugu in the kitchen, and met Taiga Fujimura, she was a hero in training and she enjoyed my cooking, but most of the time she just hung out with Kiritsugu. Her Quirk was a mutation type called 'Tiger' it gave her a set tiger ears, a tiger tail, claws and enhanced reflexes.
I was cooking while the news played on television, when they had a guest, it was All Might, I may had not cared for heroes, but I was somewhat informed on the world around me, I was starting school soon.
Somewhere deep inside the emptiness that I ignored, something was nagging at me.
I set the food to simmer and started paying attention to All Might, they played a clip of him saving people from the fires, then an older clip of basically the same thing, only he looked younger.
After watching the whole show, I went back to dinner.
That night, my dreams normal at this point, fire, death, I would be saved, then I'd wake up.
This time was different, at the end, when I was supposed to be saved, another me appeared, he was burned and looked like he was about to collapse.
Then he did, and Kiritsugu saved him.
I was just an observer, I watched as Kiritsugu smiled with tears in his eyes.
I wanted that.
I wanted to smile like that.
I wanted to know why he smiled like that.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
Who did you save, Kiritsugu?
You weren't smiling until after you saved me, did you also save yourself?
Who couldn't you save, that caused you to save a stranger?
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
My dream restarted, and I watched myself walk, I wanted to be saved.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
I watched myself walk by people dying.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
People not being saved.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
I wanted to be saved, so I walked, trying to save myself.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
I kept walking, until I was saved.
Who did Kiritsugu leave?
We had both kept walking, wanting to be saved, who didn't we save?
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
He saved me, and I saved him.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
But, he smiled.
Why didn't I?
I wanted to be saved, right?
No, I guess not, I wanted to survive.
I did, now what?
I walked past people begging for help, because I wanted to live, now what?
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
What was my purpose?
Why did I live?
Why did I deserve to be saved?
I was saved again, and Kiritsugu smiled.
That was it, wasn't it?
That smile?
That was why I watched the news with All Might, he had a similar smile.
Was that the smile of a hero?
Why did I want that smile?
What did it mean to me?
Why was I saved?!
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
No, I shouldn't have been saved, there were other people there, they should've been saved.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
Kiritsugu, being saved and smiling.
All Might, saving and smiling.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
How could you smile, when you didn't save everyone?
Why didn't you save everyone?
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
No! I refused to believe that.
It was confusing, when Kiritsugu woke me up, I still had questions, but I understood why I felt empty, I had no purpose, I didn't deserve the life I'd been given.
I had a talk with Kiritsugu about my dreams, and my thoughts.
He tried explaining his point, but I was stubborn on my front about how stupid it was.
Then he explained something else.
Killing one villain to save ten civilians.
Would I let ten innocent people die, or would I kill one person?
What if the villain forced you to kill an innocent, or else he would kill 10 criminals?
Of course, being a stubborn child, I just responded with: "I would find a way to save everyone!"
Kiritsugu had a good laugh and ruffled my hair, it was probably my determination or that fact that this topic was the only thing childish about me.
But Kiritsugu, took my outburst serious, he asked me how I would save everyone.
Even as a child, I knew I couldn't just say 'I'll find a way!' And expect everything to work out, so I told him I didn't know yet.
And that was the start of path to becoming a hero.
A hard path, a hard and rocky path.
But, I didn't waver, I wanted to save everyone, and to do that I needed to be strong.
"Saving someone means not saving someone else."
That line is truly pessimistic, only a comfort to excuse the lost of lives for the greater good.
I'll use everything I got, I'll go beyond my limits, become a hero of justice and save everyone, or die trying.
Even if I'm Quirkless.