I am Susan

::A Oneshot::

by SpicyRoses

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

Author Notes:This was created to help my muse to flow with my other fics, and I wanted to write something about Susan that didn't involve the train crash. For some reason the tenses got mixed up, so I'm reformating it again.

Summary: Susan deals with the aftermath of the HHB.

Do you mean he would make me his wife by force?" exclaimed Susan.

"That's my fear, Susan," said Edmund. "Wife: or slave which is worse."

-The Horse and His Boy, page 59

I had thought it would be easy to get back to normalcy, especially since the man, who had wanted to enslave me, had been outwitted by us. When we had finally set foot on Narnia, I felt so alive and free for the first time in ages. In fact, I think all of us felt the change in the atmosphere, which had seemed so stifled in Calormen.

I would have felt so content to just lay on the grass to sink in Narnia's beauty, but then Rabadash had to attack Anvard. The fool! I don't think I will ever manage to forgive him for all the trouble he's caused. Without a second thought about it, Edmund, Lucy, and I declared war upon Calormen. Peter was still fighting the Giants, so I was sent back to our castle, and Lucy joined Edmund with reinforcements. When we first became Kings and Queens, we had promised our subjects that one of us would always reside at Cair Paravel.

Having three siblings away, and all of them at war, proved tiring for the castle was constantly alive with messengers going to and fro. I had no chance to refresh myself as I was immediately forced to hold a war council in case…in case, well, do I really need to spell it out? I couldn't think what would happen if Edmund and Lucy were killed, though I kept telling myself that with Lune's help they couldn't possibly die.

All through the night, I keep the candles burning. I told everyone it was, because they helped me stay awake. In truth, it was to keep nightmares at bay. Everyone in our family had suffered from them though only we knew it. It was something not discussed amongst courtiers. Some of the candles must have been scented, for I found my eyelids drooping soon after the council, and thankfully I don't remember those dreams.

-

I'm shaken awake by a firm hand upon my shoulder, and like a spooked rabbit, I jumped in fright. My elbow knocks over an ink bottle, and I'm about to wonder rather or not Mrs. Beaver would scold me for staining my dress when I realize just who awakened me. It's Peter, fresh from battle.

"O, Peter!" I wail, and for the first time I left Calormen, I allow the tears to flow freely down my face. I ignor the scent of blood on his tunic, and we sit on the floor just as siblings. We aren't just monarchs during those hours, we're Peter and Susan, and we're home.

-

That night, we talk long into the wee hours about Rabadash and the Giants. Not once does he ever say, "I told you so." When Rabadash visited for a week, Peter saw right through the Prince's flattery. That was why he appointed Edmund to come along with me. I, of course, didn't see reason and objected to the extra protection. So it is to my surprise that Peter just listens, and later tells me of his battles. Eventually, when the sun has barely risen, I fall asleep on my bed with Peter on a chair nearby.

We both sleep for hours, undisturbed thanks to the stern Centaurs outside my chamber. My dreams are oddly pleasant, and I soak them in. I dream of what has shaped and formed me. I dream of Narnia.

"Wake up, sleepy head," prods Peter, and I slowly awake, still in the land of dreams. I try swatting him, but he dodges it, and barely misses one of my flying pillows. It hits a vase, which shatters onto the floor. The noise causes two maidservants to come in, and they usher Peter out of the room while I prepare for the new day.

Standing in front of a large mirror as they fuss around me, I realize this morning that there are dark circles underneath my brown eyes. My eyes seem deeper then they used to, and I hardly recognize myself, but I do realize who I am. I am a Daughter of Eve, a Queen of Narnia, and nobody's slave

...for I am Susan.