On Crystal Sand
by CupcakeLerman
[a K i n g d o m H e a r t s Story]
Kairi's POV.

Note: I think fanfiction stories are best readon mobile formatting, such as the iPod touch…

Chapter 1 - Earthquake

It was the hottest day of the fall, yet the wavering leaves continued to fall ever so slowly to the ground, and some would land on my window pane. I watched as water began to burst from their underground water faucets, spraying carefully manicured lawns with fresh water to quench the grasses' deep thirst. The afternoon time was an excellent time to indulge yourself; girls would either lay at home reading the newest novel, or they'd enjoy the company of hearty visitors; while boys would lounge at home and try to accomplish achievements on their new video game, when they weren't out playing around with their neighborhood company.

I, however, was a typical sixteen-year-old girl at home alone—but unlike others that would sit in relief of being alone at home—I was a nervous wreck. I did not answer any calls, door-bells, mail-men, or anyone for that matter. I woke up at two in the afternoon, ignoring my morning alarm for my daily sunrise jogging. My eyes were dried out and tired, because even with the nearly twelve-hour sleep, I couldn't get this restless image of a curse floating over my head out of my trance-like memory. I tried to arouse the tired in my sky-blue eyes to leave, bringing back the normal peace in my eyes. No luck. Restlessly, I tousled my auburn hair that was already close to a bright red to retain its normal straight feature; no luck.

I guess it was because the funeral was tomorrow.

Ever since I woke up an hour ago, I would be straightening up my room; something I normally do when I am so nervous I needed to take medication to go to sleep. My arms and legs were more tired than after that time I had to run five miles to my friend's vacation house, or when I had to cheer on an over productive cheerleading team. Sadly, all of my past actions seemed minuscule and unimportant compared to what I and some of my other friends were dealing with.

Right now, the corner of one of the photographs on my Nostalgia Wall was beginning to curl, and the tape I kept annoyingly reapplying wouldn't always stick. Maybe it was because I was too preoccupied with the rest of the mess I created yesterday, back when I was flinging random shit around my room. What a mess I am this week. The folding edge no longer annoyed me; its curled edge refused to stay down, and I accepted it that way. Maybe if I didn't try to purposely fold out that one person on the photograph…

Next thing I know, I'm staring at my ceiling, unrelieved in what was supposed to be relief, and looking at more numerous amount of photographs and memorabilia from my past years. Why I decided to tape all these things on the walls in my room wasn't clear to me anymore; I just felt like tearing it all down—wasted memories that didn't seem right in this room. I didn't belong here…I belonged somewhere else—someplace where no one would find me.

The first week of the new school year seemed so far away; I wasn't the Kairi I was back then. And to think that two weeks later was a whole different dimension. A clear white cloud began to envelop my sight, forcing my eyes shut into something I found a total different type of relief—sleep.

I.

Silent gasps. Lasting stares. Wondering expressions. Those are the things I listen to and see as my two best friends and I stroll down the hallway, trying to be oblivious to everyone around us. My arm is linked around the boy on my left, and I am holding hands with the boy on my right. I am the only girl in this trio, and this trio is honestly far more balanced than any other clique or groupie in the entire Destiny University High School. The many emotions and looks being thrown at the three of us don't break our exterior, the shell of being three inseparable best friends.

Sora, the boy on my right, the boy I was holding hands with— he was my boyfriend. It's only been three months, but in those three months, we've been impossibly linked together. This kind of relationship wasn't the typical one time encounter of a mushy kiss-me-all-day type of fling, but the kind where I would seriously consider staying with this partner for the rest of my life.

I loved him to the point where I'd seriously consider marrying meant a lot to me; he held my first kiss, my first love, all my secrets, and, right now, his hand was interlocked with mine tightly, a symbol of our close friendship still lingering. Not much changed after we started to date; in fact the only thing that did was the fact that there was an even more visible truth that'd we'd both waited for an unbearably long time.

To my left was Riku—our best friend for as long as I could remember. To me, he has and always will be the big brother type to me, and I have loved him back like a brother. He sometimes was a lot more comforting than Sora, and he made me feel like my life was complete. When I told him first about me and Sora dating, he took me into his strong arms and embraced me, saying, "Thank you, Kairi." I don't know as to why he did, but he has been a strong link in this three-way friendship. There is no awkward tension in this friendship, because, after all, it's only an ungainly walk in life if you want it to be awkward.

All three of us came from the same island home, Destiny Islands. Being as we were neighbors, we easily bonded together, spending our days by the beach, building pretend rafts and lazily lounging by palm trees. Riku and Sora were undoubtedly best friends, almost brothers, even before I moved to the island. They would have play sword fights, contests, and at night, it was their tradition to watch for meteor showers. Those two were special kids. When I moved onto the islands, nothing much had changed, except we had more things to adventure into and more members to play scavenger hunts with. They happily included me into their closely-knit activities, and after getting over the initial guilt for forcing them to include me, we all played and got along really well.

And now, nearly five years after we all met, we walked calmly, hands and arms locked with each other's, becoming the item the school had known us as—a widely recognized trio. While we were still walking, Sora leaned in and gave me a small kiss on the cheek. This earned him several sighs and femine-wise squeals from the girls in the hall. He smirked to himself, while I laughed quietly to myself. He and I always used to love teasing the girls he knew had a thing for him, and now that I was the girl in the picture, we were such saboteurs by teasing the crowd so nastily. We all knew that the best physical attribute to Sora was his chocolate-brown naturally spiked gravity-defying hair, but one thing that no one but me knew was—it smelled a lot like cookies.

We continued sauntering towards the end of the hallway, when I saw a familiar face shrouded behind shiny blonde hair. I quickly nudged the boy on my left. "Riku, it's Naminé," I whispered. Sora had also taken notice; he had slowed down his pace, giving Riku and I time to talk.

Naminé was a girl Riku used to like, until all the others used to tease him for actually liking someone. Everyone knew him as "The boy that wouldn't date," and after the announcement that Sora and I were dating, he became known as "The Silver-Haired Third Wheel". He's sometimes like that, letting people get to him and all that. He nearly had an anger episode from all this teasing, but Sora and I showed up at his house and calmed him down by blasting music on his house stereo speakers and dancing crazily, ignoring the nearly shaking house. We had a great time dancing together. No one but us cares about that.

Riku shot me a quick glance, and I quickly understood. This girl had hurt him by not returning his feelings back then, and now, even though Riku still had feelings for her, she was now ready to accept him. But it wasn't the way things worked to us. We didn't think someone could just ruin somebody's life and try waltzing back in like nothing ever happened.

Naminé realized we were approaching her, and she stepped forward, her speech already stuttering before she even began to speak. "Riku! I-I have something to tell—"

I waved my hand as politely as I could in front of the platinum-haired girl. "I'm sorry, but Riku's not available at the moment." It was an obviously placed lie to prevent any speech from her that I knew would upset Riku in some way.

"But—" Her blue eyes watered, like lakes with streams flowing delicately down as gravity forced the stream to fall.

"I'm sorry, Naminé, but he's not in the mood now—"

"I just need to talk to him for a second—"

Riku came up from behind me and faced her. "Naminé! I'm telling you, just stay away from me. I don't want to talk to you." Riku had sputtered out his comment at her so hard that he had to unlink his arm with mine. He was really angry, but not an irreversible-mistake mood; it was the concerned shade of anger that covered him when he was hurt emotionally. Sora and I were the only ones that understood when Riku needed to be alone to solve his own problems. Riku didn't need to cause a scene at this point, and it was only our first week of being second-year high school students. I looked over at Sora and saw he had a discerning look on his face as well. Naminé was quivering slightly, just enough for it to be hidden, but not enough to go unnoticed.

"Hey, break it up. Riku, let's go," I tried convincing Riku, resting my hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

His fist was clenched, his head facing downwards and not facing the already-grouping crowd that had begun to stare. "No, no, I'm staying; this girl needs to know to back the hell—"

"Riku. We're going," Sora said, pulling on Riku's arm, the way little brothers did when they wanted to leave with their big brothers. It would tear my heart if Riku resisted to his own non-related younger brother. Riku finally let go of his state, resisted the grasp of my hand on his shoulder, and trudged off without Sora and I. I gave Naminé a half apologetic look and half a blaming look. She had caused a scene when it was extremely unnecessary. I took hold of Sora's hand and chased after Riku as he stormed away, leaving a circle of people witnessing one of the last times they'd known our trio the way they used to.

Throughout these short five years that I had had with Sora and Riku, I learned that best friends weren't just there to take up space. They were there for a reason. I found a reason when I met Riku and Sora. They were at first just my older brothers—my guardians—but now, they were more than that. We were so inseparable it was impossible to break us up. Not even death could make us part.

So when I knelt down onto the sticky and damp grass of the town cemetery called Destiny's Door, I didn't spontaneously start crying. Sure, there was a little teardrop waddling in the corner of my eye, but I pushed the feeling back and sucked up all the willpower I possessed. Thankfully, I didn't feel like I had stayed kneeling on the grass very long, and before I knew it, the heavily expected rain clouds persuaded more rain to fall over us visitors. They all poured out of the cemetery like the rain runoff did too, leaving just me, my friends' parents, and my single remaining best friend, us two being the last in our trio. He was dressed in an all-black suit, complete with a dark tie that wasn't even on straight. It didn't suit him very well, considering how cheerful this guy was compared to someone with a darker expression, but I knew he'd do anything in honor of his best friend. Slowly, I slipped my hand in his, imagining him holding my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze, but there was no sudden reaction. His hand was stiff in mine, trying to ignore the fact that I needed reassurance. Light sniffles came from behind us, and I almost forgot we were keeping these good people waiting in the rain, while my friend and I sat sulking for longer than usual in an emotionally quieter silence than I had even prepared for.

The flowers I had placed on the grave were beginning to become stained and wilted from the incoming rain. "Kairi," I hear Sora say monotonously. I could hear the restraint he was holding back on me as he looked slightly down on me. "We have to go."

His parents were already in the car, consulting with my other friend's parents, comforting them, reassuring them—I knew they weren't in the kind of mood I was in. They'd probably feel it for bringing me into the world, something that could've been avoided altogether. Maybe the guilt that seemed to collide with the feeling of the pelting rain was what was forced them to pay their respects as well, when everyone knows well that the murderer doesn't just appear at their victim's funeral.

Rain pattered on the top of my head, already drenching my ill-fixed hair. The bow I had put on was already wet all the way, but I didn't reach up to readjust my insignificant hair. Anything but this could've happened. Here he was, my best friend—my big brother—laying underneath the already muddy ground where I would gladly be under any day for Riku to come back.

But right now, I wasn't and once again, I had to live with the responsibility. "Okay. Let's...well, let's go home," I say to Sora, as I slowly slip my hand with his again. But again, when I needed comfort, there was nothing on the receiving end, just another holding hand that guided me to the car. I had never felt so blameworthy or disgusting in my entire life. I knew that if I had only listened to everyone's suggestions, the world wouldn't have yet another untimely death. After Sora slammed the door on my side harder than he would normally do, the minute—the second—we left the cemetery, two tears slid down my cheeks. I didn't let anymore pass down my cheeks. I didn't deserve to express emotions. My hands reached to my face, but I did not scream or tear anymore. I did however feel the overwhelming emotion to recklessly follow into Riku's path; a path he didn't deserve, but I should have followed myself. Blame wasn't alone while I covered my face with shivering palms. This was all my being. No longer would that arm link with mine, or that hand come in contact with mine any longer. I'm all alone, and I deserve to fall into Wonderland and hopefully, I'd never come back. They'd all like that, especially Sora. Sadly, this was just the first day. The first day I had on my own. The first day I couldn't do a thing about anything. The first day I had to disappear from the crowd forever.

Now that I have a life like this, I had also learned that you have to appreciate how life works. Things will come and go, and when they do, you have to accept it. People get hurt. People hurt one another in this world. But hey, I'm one of the few that actually can understand that now.

- —- - - -

Nobody said a word of greeting to me anymore without frowning. My parents pretended that they knew I made a mistake and was over it, but they didn't treat me the same anymore. I couldn't do what I used to love anymore. But despite his death, school continued rather quickly, and that was the only time now that I would go out into the public again. Whenever I tried to make it to my next class, people would snicker at me, or worse, glare. People stared at me while I sifted through the crowds in the hallway after fourth period. I eagerly wanted to make it to fifth period speedily, when I remembered a sudden fact. Sora was in that class with me. He was unavoidable; I'd spent all morning avoiding him successfully and hoped that I wouldn't make contact with him for the rest of my high school days.

I scanned the hallway around my locker, which was next to the girl's and boy's locker rooms. No one was surrounding it, supposedly the opposite on an average day before the incident; though someone, undoubtedly a hater of mine, taped a sign on my locker. Scribbled in defining black sharpie were the words, "YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON," along with another word I wouldn't favor repeating. I ripped the paper down from its pedestal, crumpling the sheet in my palm. I didn't know who could've done it; there were a lot of kids in this school. I knew I wasn't egocentric; I had friends who had liked me for who I was and how I acted. Unless they'd abandoned me as well, which was likely.

I couldn't fathom the unfavorable idea any longer. Olette, Selphie, Xion, and many others were all the people I had once called friends; now I couldn't confide in them anymore. Naminé probably wouldn't even talk to me after all the shameful acts I have done against her. They'd all left me for a purpose. I closed my eyes and perceived a loud bang when I slammed my back on my locker. Tears threatened to flow, but I hastily shut out the rest of the world and my line of vision. What was I supposed to do now? Bang. I force my head to collide with the cold and stiff locker. Bang. Bang. Bang. After a lot of banging noises, I can already feel the fresh bump that is forming on the back of my head. A throbbing pain accompanied it, but nothing was comparable to this burden being placed on me by the world. How long would this last…?

- —- - - -

It was fifth period, and I had to avoid all the eyes glued on me. Half the class decided the center of attention wasn't Mr. Valentine's Physics lesson, but more of me. The only person I knew who wasn't prying me for my feelings or simply gazing towards me was actually the one person I expected to not be looking—the boy sitting directly in front of me, pretending to ignore me, which, I could've dealt with now.

His spiky brown hair threatened to poke me in the face as I remained seated behind him, trying to take notes down. I recalled that same spiked hair I used to tug on, teasing that I would have to one day straighten his hair with a straightener because it was so spiky. I once even chased him around his house with a straightener clenched in my hand. That was actually the first week of our more-than-friends friendship. At this point, I did not know what it would take for us to go back to normal, but presently, it would have to take the apocalypse to change this situation. Heck, it would take my death and immediate replacement for Riku for us to just be friends again.

"Class. Pay attention. We're starting the next group project. You'll all get extra projects if you don't look at me," Mr. Valentine asserted. The class spun in the direction of the teacher, and I felt all the eyes preying on me lift away. Even though everyone lifted their tension on me, I could feel the negative emotions people emitted towards me, just by the look on their faces. It wasn't much fun when you're the one being looked upon as shameful.

"Good." He continued to pace in the front of the room, rubbing his chin hypothetically. "You'll be arranging a physics assignment relative to a sport you decide on. Skateboarding, football—they all have a little physics in it. Pick a sport, and then experiment with it on the physics of it. You will then proceed in testing it. It will be due in one month and one week. Two people in each group."
He flicked his hand in our direction. "Go on, shoo, find your partners." Everyone groaned at the idea of a beginning of a semester project, but they all went to go for their partners.

It had now developed into a direct awkward deal. I knew everyone would avoid me and pick their best friends, which I couldn't really pick upon anymore. I nervously glanced around the classroom for any familiar faces, racking my head to determine if any were willing to let me join them. There was only one that struck me as particularly familiar: a certain spiky brunette that showed no interest in turning around to see me.

Of course, I wasn't the only one with problems on partners. Before a minute even passed, an argument had already started.

"She is MY partner."

"No, she's MY partner!"

I turned to the back corner of the room to see surprisingly two boys quarreling of all times like now. Just by their pouting faces, they looked like little kindergartners. A flaming red-head with oddly styled hair that stuck everywhere and dashes of makeup streaked on his face was waving his hands for emphasis at a blue-haired man with dark eyes. They were arguing over a blonde chick I saw in the corner, who I observed was checking her nails, as if she enjoyed attention. The girl was Larxene—leader of the chic queen bees of the school, of which I used to be affiliated with. That was another thing I didn't particularly want to remember anymore.

"Want to take it outside?" the red head said.

"LET'S GO, AXEL!" the blue haired boy yelled, his hands commanding invisible forces to mysteriously start 'working.'

Mr. Valentine rose from his seat, irritated at the disruption of classroom peace, and also raised his voice noticeably. "Axel! Saïx! Stop the language! If you can't pick partners, then I guess I'll pick partners for you! Now sit down, and shut up!" He got up from his seat, looking as if he were going to smash in Axel and Saïx's heads. He obviously disliked talking and arrguments. They immediately sat down, still a bit pouty also.

"You've changed," Saïx muttered under his breath. Axel stuck his tongue out at him.

"Good." Mr. Valentine looked satisfied enough, and ran a lint roller as a nervous habit over his neatly addressed suit. "To avoid any more scuffles with you mere children, I will be picking partners." He turned to address the white board that was waiting for his choosing for the groups.

Now I was even more than earlier, when I could've skipped the entire process of partner-picking by getting a hall pass. Everyone showed me their evil glances as if what was going on was my fault. They all glared at the girl who murdered her best friend, while she looked shamefully at her desk. I could even hear in the corner the red dude, Axel, whispered to his buddy Saïx, "Gee. I hope I don't get paired with reddy over there, behind spiky. You hear what she did to silky?"

"Silky? You mean silver-haired dude, did suicide last week? Dude, what'd she do? I thought they were tight?"

"Didn't hear? Dang, Saïx! Okay, well she—"

I didn't have to hear the same story twice. I would've gotten up and straightforwardly kicked these kids in the face, but all I did was used my kiddie straw, dipped it into my cup, and sucked it up.

The teacher was now done assigning partners on the project, his list posted on the board. The pairings were awfully biased; I knew already who I'd be paired with without even looking. He turned around, showing his deep expression and dark eyes to my own sullen eyes and mellow expression. It was something I'd never seen before from him, and now that I was seeing it myself, I couldn't help but want to try to fix that frown; to turn it upside down.

"Hi, Kairi."

"Hi, Sora."

Things were going smoothly.

"Can we get this over with?" He turned his desk to face mine, and sat down in the seat. "What sport?" he asked tediously, flipping his pencil on the desk over and over. Just by sitting in front of him, I could tell he was irritated and completely uninterested.

"Well, I don't...exactly know any that would overall show the complete physics of anything while being completely original—"

"Ice skating it is," he concluded.

"Ice skating? Where'd you—"

He gave me this look right then and there; it was definitely hatred, no emotion of taking me back as a friend, just pure hatred. But it wasn't forced—it looked as if he wanted to forget everything between us. Childhood, friendship, partnership—all of that would be just a waste. I could've withered at the sight of that. I accepted his rejection and from that point on, I pretended we did not know each other.

"Fine," I agreed, assuming the same monotone voice as his. "Anyway...isn't there like a whole movie on it?"

When he heard my sentence, I saw that he had looked slightly perked up. I knew it was because that this movie I asked about was one of the countless movies we'd watched together when I slept over at his house. It was his cousin Xion's, and I didn't want to watch a scary movie, so we settled for a Physics geek that did ice skating as a school project. There were good skaters in it, which actually caused me to try to take up ice skating lessons. It didn't end up too well when Sora even tried to teach me.

"Yeah...there is. We could, um, copy the dynamics of it. Make it easier," he suggested. He was rubbing two strands of hair with his finger, tugging like the way he does when he's nervous.

"...I kind of...forgot the movie," I replied honestly. It was more than two years ago, I couldn't say I remembered what happened in the movie.

"Uh, my cousin has the movie...if you wanna borrow it," Sora offered, but he has been to my house so many times, I think he'd remember if I had the necessary equipment to watch a DVD.

I shifted in my seat, knowing where this was indefinitely leading. "I don't have a DVD player, Sora."

"Oh, uh, right," he said, trying to keep calm while he tried scratching at the corner of his desk with his red pen. Slowly, he began to ask me: "Wanna...go see it at my house?"

I nodded, wondering if I should be excited or worried. I didn't need to reconcile with Sora, but it seemed that fate wanted me to. "Sure, Sora. Saturday at nine in the morning...?" I asked. On Saturdays, my only time was in the morning, because I had community service hours for graduation in the afternoon.

He stopped scratching the corner of his desk and just stared blankly at his desk, his eyes beginning to look a little playful than his earlier shame expression. "Can't Kairi. It's my Saturday cartoons block."

Without wanting to or thinking about it, I let out a little giggle. Another one of our jokes. Sora, Riku, and I used to watch them on Saturdays. Every single pocket monster, fantasy card game, or digital monster on television, we watched it religiously every morning.

"Oh." I snickered without warning. "I forgot. Okay. Noon I'll be there," I told him. "And don't you forget," I pretended to assert.

"I won't, mom..." Sora muttered, slipping up on his abstinence from our conversation. His lips looked like he wanted to take it back, but I let it slide; this was the Sora I missed.

After that, it was back to the original settings—the awkward stares, cliché looks, and hushed coughs. I didn't have anything else to say to Sora. He'd already said a lot to me the past weekend. What happened this weekend after the funeral...to me, it was unspeakable. I couldn't talk straight, form coherent sentences while he told me off. The thoughts came coming back to me again, along with the familiar guilt, like always.

Why was I being pinned with all the guilt? Maybe Riku's decision was a decision that he had been thinking about that didn't have to do with me. Why was guiltiness the only emotion I could feel right now? I couldn't explain it, but I always felt it tug my shoulders, weighing me down and exasperate me. Was it because I practically killed my best friend? I couldn't explain myself with logic and words. If Riku were still here, I should've given Naminé a second chance.

II.

Third period. It is the first week of the new semester of our first year, and Sora and I make our way to Biology. Riku took a Biology Honors class during this time, unluckily with Naminé herself. I'd have to ask for the details about that later.

Naminé was a nice girl. Honestly, a year ago, I could've been best friends with this girl. She had no feelings whatsoever for Riku yet, but for this other blonde in our school named Roxas.

Anyways, I see Riku and Naminé enter the classroom at the same time, almost simultaneously, and they bump into each other quietly. Naminé glimpses up to Riku unsuspectingly, and she lets a shy giggle escape. Riku laughs a little, and he continues to his seat while glancing backwards to Naminé.

Sora and I give each other confused looks that tell that we both saw the same things. We laugh loudly, echoing in the hallway, and almost everyone looks at us. Even Riku and Naminé see us, but I didn't think they knew what we were laughing about. I looked at Sora, who looked as if he was going to explode from so much laughter, and I saw that he had already fell to the floor. The thought of Riku dating someone like Naminé and nonchalantly bumping into a girl caused me to finally collapse on top of him, clutching my stomach. It wasn't Riku-like; he seemed so cool.

Sora looks at me, and his cheeks are a little red, but I don't think it's because of me. Why would he be embarrassed? We were so comfortable with each other back in junior high. He is still smiling widely, but he tries to push me off of him, since I was at the point that I was hugging Sora from all the laughter I had.

"Kai! Can you…get off?" he says in-between his slowly-dwindling chuckles. I almost laugh even more at the sight of his now all red cheeks, and I finally come to my conclusion.

"Why is your face all red, Sora?" I say, finally propping myself up on the floor.

"What? It is not red!" Sora said, blushing even more. I let out a laugh that seemed so out of place, and that's when I realized that people were staring, especially Riku. Sora and I look at each other, and now it was my turn for my face to become red.

We were way too comfortable with each other.

A/N: I THRIVE on plot twists c:

You know those flashbacks; they're numbered for a reason. Hmm…

How was it? Yes, yes, this does sound like fluff. All these flashbacks are gonna make me sick yeahyeahyeah. I don't know. I was proud about this.

Oh and I have another reference to what I did when I was younger. "Every pocket monster…" Yeah, that's Pokemon, Yu Gi Oh!, and Digimon. I need to watch those again possibly…

Oh, this will turn out beautiful, I tell you.

- C u p c a k e Lerman.