[Taking place at the end of the movie]
Oh, what a sunny, gorgeous day it was in California. Susan smiled brightly as she neared her dear family-- oh how much she'd missed them. Never in her life did she dream she'd become a giant monster and defeat evil aliens, saving the entire world from enslavement.
"Susan!" her mother and father cheerfully greeted.
"Mom, Daddy!" the giant woman said, holding both her parents close to her.
And then she saw him: Derek.
"Great news! I get promoted if I get an interview from you!" he said. "Everything works out for the both of us-- I get my career, and you get the man of your dreams. How about it?"
Susan's eye twitched. What? He expected they get together after what he said to her? No way could she be with a man who put his career and fame before anything else.
And then she felt it: a familiar pressure in her lower abdomen.
"Oh no," she gasped out loud.
"Huh? Is that a yes?" Derek asked.
All eyes were on Susan as she realized her monthly period was actually starting again after being delayed for a few months. She never planned what she'd do when she had her period as a giant, and neither did the government, actually. After all she was the first female monster. Susan had thought her period had somehow vanished ever since she mutated.
"Come on, Babyface. I don't got all day." Derek said, growing impatient and taking a quick glance back at the camera man.
Susan had an idea. She would not only turn Derek down, but she'd also solve her dilemma. "Is that camera rolling?" she asked.
"Yes it is." Derek said, flashing a fake smile. Finally he'd have his damn interview!
"Good." Susan said with a big smile. "I want people to see THIS!" She grabbed Derek with one hand and stood straight. Then she dropped her skin-tight pants Galaxhar dressed her in and squatted down. Everyone gasped and screamed, but some stared in awe as Derek was plunged head-first into her... like a tampon.
"Aaaaaah!" a muffled Derek screamed, thrashing around.
Susan sighed. He wasn't a very comfortable tampon that was for sure. She lied back and spread her legs wider, aiming at the sky. "Bye, bye, Derek!" she exclaimed as her pumpum blasted him up into the air like a canon.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah God nooooooo! NOT LIKE THIS NOOOOO! " a very bloody Derek cried as he soared through the air.
People took pictures.
Susan covered her mouth and giggled. "Um, Bob?" she innocently requested.
"No problem!" the enthusiastic blue gelatin said, catching Derek inside himself and vomiting him out.
Derek cuddled in a fetal position and sobbed. Doctors from the mental ward took him away.
"Thanks so much." Susan told her blue comrade.
"No problem." he said.
"Um...one last thing..." Susan began. "Do you mind...?"
"Oh, not at all!" the little blobby fellow said before taking Derek's place as a tampon.
Susan smiled and stood up, putting her pants back on. Now that was team work!
She took a deep breath and exhaled all her worries away. Her new life was great. Everything would work out just fine.
The Very Happy End