DISCLAIMER: Naruto and all related characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

Well, since today is November 11th (which coincidentally is Veterans' Day), I've decided to write a little fic for Jiraiya on his birthday. Because without The Toad Sage, Naruto would still be a wimp and all non-pervy.

"Minato, come on!"

"No, Jiraiya-sensei."

"Why not?"

"Because it's MY justu. You're gonna steal my shine!"

"Fine! I'll just hold my breath until you do it!"

Minato sighed. He was tired of Jiraiya constantly asking him to teach him his Flying Thunder God Jutsu. He tried excuse and excuse again, but the Toad Sage was adamant. The Yellow Flash let out a chuckle as Jiraiya finally inhaled and repeatedly gasped for air.

"You really are something, old man."

Then a mischievous gleam appeared in Jiraiya's eyes. "If you don't teach me...I'll tell Kushina about the time I helped you peak into the Hot Springs."

Minato paled. "...You wouldn't."

Jiraiya pulled out a copy of Icha Icha Paradise. "Or should I just tell her where I got the inspiration for the climactic love scene...that you let me spy on, of course."

Minato's paleness turned into a bright red blush. "...Okay, I'll do it." he sighed.

"YES!"

The future Fourth Hokage tossed his former sensei a ninja tool sack. "There's ten of my special Space-Time Kunai in there, you'll need them."

Jiraiya pulled out one of the kunai. "...What's with the two extra prongs?"

Minato blushed again as he mumbled something.

"...What?"

"..."

"...Speak up, man."

"..."

"Can you be serious here?"

"Sometimes my ass itches, alright?"

Jiraiya had a perverted grin on his face as his head stuck out from a rock near the Hot Springs. He had Minato rush in and place a kunai in there, and he himself placed one outside.

"Let's see how good this really works..." Jiraiya was on the peak of a nosebleed as he made a few hand signs, then disappeared in a grey flash.

A multitude of womens' screams ensued.

"Who just grabbed my boob?"

"Ahh! My towel!"

"Someone slapped my ass!"

Jiraiya reappeared next to his special kunai outside, with his entire faced drenched in blood.

"Oh, man..." He sighed, "How did Minato never think of this? I could even get-"

Jiraiya paused and initiated some deep thought. "...That's it!"

It was the dead of night. Pervy Sage was sitting in a tree as he threw a kunai into the open window of a house. He couldn't stop snickering.

"She's not home!" he smiled, "This has been 35 years overdue for me!"

With that, he teleported inside. The Village's Madness looked around, until he found an open door, leading into a bedroom. He did his traditional Kabuki dance into the room, careful not to disturb anything. His eyes eventually settled onto a dresser.

"Jackpot!" he whispered to himself. All he had to two was pick between two-

"Shit, someone's coming!"

Jiraiya opened up one of the drawers, and without looking, grabbed some of its contents, and teleported out.

Jiraiya had teleported into his own bedroom, and couldn't wait to pull his prizes out of his pockets.

"I can't believe it finally happened!" he laughed, "I'll treasure the laced one with-"

Jiraiya looked at the granny-panties in his hands.

Tsunade smiled as she heard a blood-curdling scream come from Jiraiya's house. "Thanks for the advice, Minato."

The Yellow Flash smiled. "No problem, Tsunade-sama. I can't believe Jiraiya-sensei thought I'd let his pervy self run around with the ability to teleport."

"But..." The Slug Princess started as she unbuttoned her top, "I can't let you leave without thanking you..."

Minato was already gone, screaming the way his sensei just was.

Tsunade pulled out a copy of Icha Icha Paradise. "I was gonna tell him where Jiraiya got his inspiration for the climactic love scene..."

Oh, Jiraiya! Will you ever learn? I know it's a little late, but I just wanna say this:

R.I.P Jiraiya

We're gonna miss that epic perviness of yours!