Notes: Thanks for taking the time to look over my story.
This is first of a (hopefully) new batch of stories based in my "Sacrifice" series. I would also like to thank everyone who has left comments, reviews, comments or favourite any of my stories/chapters, they have been greatly appreciated, as has that fact that you have chosen to read any of my fics.
I have tried to keep characterisations right, but I may have slipped up here or there.
I hope you enjoy it.
I know it can be a bit uninteresting, but I value feedback, as it lets me know what people like, or don't like from my efforts. Or just so I know if you have enjoyed it in general. So I would please ask you to take a minute once you've finished reading it, to let me know what you thought.
I do NOT own NCIS:Los Angeles or any of its Characters. I'm just borrowing them
#######
Opening her eyes and looking around, Nell found herself in a hospital bed.
How had she ended up in the hospital, she wondered. More surprising however, was who was sleeping in a chair next to her bed, holding onto her right hand.
Pulling her hand away, had the undesired effect of waking the Special Agent.
He jumped up onto his feet and moved to the doorway, calling out for a doctor.
"Why do you need a doctor?" Nell wondered aloud.
"You've been unconscious for 3 days" the Special Agent replied
….
"… Has she said anything?"
"Yeah, mostly wondering why she's in the hospital" Callen answered
"Well, at least that's something" Kensi said, trying to comfort him
"… and I would take that as a good sign, IF she hadn't recoiled, almost in fear, when I tried to kiss her cheek, and then asked for Eric"
"What's the doctor said?" Sam asked, breaking his silence
"Nothing yet. They were going to do some tests, now that she's awake."
"I'll go to the hospital and wait with her. Give you a chance to get changed, and maybe get some proper sleep" Kensi offered.
"I'm fine. I got some sleep at the hospital"
"G. Let Kensi go… You need to sleep, in an actual bed, rather than upright in a chair. It's not good for you, or for Nell for you to be in this state longer than necessary. Kensi will call you as soon as there's any news. SO are you gonna go home, or do we need to talk to Hetty?"
"Low blow Sam"
….
"How did I end up in here Kens?"
"You were in a collision with a Semi. You were really lucky you came out of it with next to no injuries. Don't think I've ever seen Callen so concerned and upset, until now"
"Yeah.. about that…. Why was he at my bedside, and more importantly… why did he try to kiss me?"
"We all took turns sitting with you, but Callen, he never left your side"
"Okay Kens… but Why though?"
"Don't freak out, But you're engaged to him"
Nell sat, staring at her friend with her mouth hanging open
"Nell? Did you hear me?"
"Um… Yeah, I … I heard you."
….
"How long have I been living here. Living with him?" Nell asked as she walked towards the front door from the car "...and what happened to my apartment?"
"A few months… You kind of moved in after your apartment got shot up, when Callen was AWOL"
"So I just moved in without any permission?"
"It's not quite as Black & White as that. I mean, you had been staying here for months. Not every night, and not always with Callen"
"This is too weird Kens. I wake up and get told I'm engaged to Callen, who has never shown any interest in me, and who I have never had any real interest in… I'm living in his house… and at no point in the last.. what, 6 – 9 months, has anyone challenged me about why I'm doing this… with him"
"if it makes you feel any better you did tell me that your mother wasn't all that pleased about your being involved with him. But I still don't know if that's because of his age, how she met him or if it's something else"
"So my parents didn't approve?"
"No… Your father apparently approved, but not your mother. I can only tell you what you, or Callen told me… But there's a lot I don't know, and you would be better speaking to Callen about."
"He's not gonna be inside, is he?" Nell asked, almost scared of the answer.
"No. He won't be home, not for a few hours. But you're gonna have to deal with him sooner or later.
….
Looking around the house, Nell could recognise all the books, furniture, DVDs and other knick knacks that had come from her apartment. Seeing them in this house that she didn't know, was bizarre, to say the least. But still, she felt a sense of comfort surrounded by her possessions. If only she better understood where she was in life, understood the choices she had made… most importantly, she desperately wanted to know how she ended up getting involved with Special Agent G Callen, instead of her best friend, and love interest, Eric. If only Kensi had given her more details, maybe could have started to understand.
She didn't doubt that Callen was a caring and considerate man, but he was far from her normal type. If she had a singular specific type.
She had been tempted to start packing a bag, call her parents… even call Eric. But Kensi had been right… there were certain answers that she could only get from Callen.
….
Nell felt warm and safe, laying on top of the bed. She would have happily stayed where she was, were it not for the hand that was held against her face, with what she assumed was a thumb, stroking her cheek.
Jerking her self away from the comforting hand, she opened her eyes looking around for whoever it was that had been stroking her cheek
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you" Callen offered by way of an explanation
"How long have you been here?" Nell asked
"Only a couple of minutes. I eh… I shouldn't have bothered you"
Nell sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, before returning her focus to Callen
"Normally I'd say it wasn't a big deal, but since I'm a bit confused about what's happening…"
"Yeah, I get what you mean. I'm guessing you want to talk… so Tea, or Coffee?"
"Coffee, if you don't mind" Nell said as she followed Callen out of the bedroom and through into the kitchen
"I've been in your position. So I know how you feel…." Callen offered
"So… You've woken up without part of your memory, only to be told you're engaged to, and living with a co-worker several years your senior"
"Okay, when you put it that way, No I've not been in your exact position. But I've been pretty close. So, where would you like to start?"
"How about the beginning"
"Deal. What's the last thing you remember?"
….
*Knock Knock*
Sam opened his front door, already knowing who it was
"Come on in. D'you want the couch, or is your heart set on the bomb shelter"
"Couch for now, if that's okay. I'll re-evaluate my needs in the morning"
"So what happened G?" Sam asked, as they walked through, into the lounge
"I think it's just too much information, too quickly. At least I hope that's all it is"
"Has Hetty spoken to her yet?"
"Not as far as I know. Don't think she's even spoken to Eric or her parents yet either"
"Hey. You know she'll get her memories back, you got yours back"
"And look what had to happen for me to get them back. What am I meant to do… ask Hetty to reassign Nell to a carrier, send her into Afghanistan to get shot, then get locked up back on the Carrier. She was safer before she get involved with me, maybe this is what's best for her"
"You don't really believe that, do you Callen?" Michelle asked from the doorway
Both Sam and Callen turned towards Michelle after hearing her voice.
….
"G in yet?" Sam asked, before he even reached his desk
"Not seen him" Kensi offered
"What about Nell, you seen or spoken to her this morning?"
"Yeah, she's upstairs with Eric, Why?"
She watched Sam drop his bag on the desk, and then turned and headed upto OPS. Kensi promptly followed Sam, starting to get concerned
"… Get me a trace on his phone Eric!" Kensi heard Sam demand as she entered OPS
"Sam, What's going on" Kensi asked quietly
"He's been sleeping on my couch the last few weeks. But him and his kit were gone before 0400 this morning. I think he's trying to disappear again"
"Why would he do that?"
"Things apparently haven't been going well when He and Nell have been speaking."
"How 'Not Well'"
"… that he thinks she's better off not being involved with him, or remembering, as he thinks it's too risky for her. That this incident gives her the chance to have the sort of life she used to imagine"
"Oh Shit…"
….
"You can't be serious about this Hetty. He'll turn up"
"Mr Callen has been gone for over a year, with no leads as to where he has gone. Unless he turns up in the next fortnight, I'm going to be forced to have him taken off the inactive staff list. For now, at least, he won't be recorded as deceased. Unless you know something about his whereabouts Mr Hanna?"
"Trust me Hetty, if knew where he was, I would have already dragged him back here"
The pair were interrupted by a loud shrill whistle, that could only have come from Eric Beale
Sam left Hetty's office and quickly moved to follow his colleagues upto OPS
"What've we got Eric?" Sam asked
"a Marine Detachment in Afghanistan came across a number of burned bodies in a network of caves. When the remains were inspected, they found an NCIS badge on one of the bodies. Director Vance and SecNav have tasked us with investigating"
"Any idea who the Agent was?"
"All Special Agents in the region have been checked, none of them are missing. There are 7 NCIS Special Agents listed either as MIA or KIA whose remains have never been recovered, of them, 2 of them have been discounted due to gender"
Eric Tapped on his tablet, and then the large screen displayed 5 images of MIA or KIA agents
Sam didn't recognise the faces on the screen, instead turning his attention to Eric
"What region, Eric?"
"Khowst"
Everyone remained silent, before the silence was broken by Hetty's voice
"Mr Hanna & Deeks, My Office. , make travel arrangements for them. Mr Beale start checking over service histories for any indications that any of them could have made moves to Khowst"
Hetty left, with Sam and Deeks following close behind her
"Is she always that scary" April asked anyone who would answer
"Yes" Eric, Nell and Kensi replied unanimously
….
"Director Vance has raised concerns, that the body in Khowst may be that of Mr Callen. If it is… several of our deep cover agents could have been compromised. In 36 hours, I'm going to be ordered to shutter our operations here, and pull all active undercover agents off active cases. Unless you can prove that the remains in Khowst do not belong to Mr Callen"
"We'll get the Job done"
"Why are you just telling us. Why not tell Kensi or Nell" Deeks asked, despite knowing that he may be poking the bear
"Leave it Deeks. We have a lot to get done, and not much time" Sam insisted, before physically dragging Deeks away
"Why'dya drag me away… I deserved an answer"
"Think about it… Last thing any of us want is to remind Kensi about being back in Afghanistan. I don't want either Nell or Kensi to even think that this could be Callen, unless we know for sure. That's your answer as to why Hetty only told us"
….
"Welcome to Afghanistan Gentleman"
"NCIS Special Agents Hanna and Deeks" Sam told the Colonel as they both showed their identification.
"Quite a surprise, my men finding one of yours in a cave. You wouldn't happen to know why he was here, would you?"
"I'm afraid not Sir. We won't know anything until we can identify who the Agent was"
"We already know who he was. One of my people managed to clean up the credentials. Your man… was G Callen. That mean anything to you?"
The Colonels words stopped the pair of Agents in their tracks
….
"The Credentials are his. But I'm not convinced that the body is his. "
[…]
"We've already taken a DNA sample. It's already en route to the nearest lab for comparison"
[…]
"No, Hetty, we're not at that stage yet. We still have 18 hours
[…]
"I'm guessing Hetty isn't happy" Deeks asked, as he approached his partner
"No she is not" Sam sat down to take a breath
"You know, I dunno about you Sam, but I'm not gonna get back on that plane till we finish this"
….
"Have we got any results yet Mr Beale?"
"Just came in. Results are…. Negative. The body definitely isn't Callen"
"Please advise Mr Hanna, and If you would, get Director Vance on the line for me"
Eric lifted the phone and started dialling Sam, while listening to Hetty leave OPS to return, no doubt, to her office
"Sam, its Eric. We got the results back, they're not a match for Callen"
[…]
"I don't know. But I'll get her to call you back, once she's spoken with the Director"
Eric put the phone down, and leaned back in his chair, finally able to let go of the breath he hadn't realised he was holding
"What's the story about Agent Callen" He heard from his new 'partner'
"You mean you've not heard the stories?. Agent Callen is an undercover legend. Almost his whole career has been spent working in undercover roles. He used to be the Senior special agent here, up till he disappeared"
"So, why did he disappear then?" Came her next question
"That's a complicated question, and one that I can't answer. I simply don't know. He was here one day, and gone the next. Despite all the time and resources that have been put in to trying to locate him, we've never even found any leads into where he would go, or who he would become"
"Even so Eric, He's just one man, Why's he so important?"
"Because he's family, Ms Gardiner" they Heard Hetty say as she entered OPS
The young analyst dropped her head, and returned her focus to the intelligence reports on her computer screen
"Mr Beale, Make travel arrangements for Mr Hanna and Deeks. I want them on the next flight out of Afghanistan"
….
When Kensi and Nell walked back into the Bullpen, they were pleased to see both Sam and Deeks sat at their desks
"Glad to see you made it back in one piece probie." Kensi remarked
"That all I get, Fern? I don't get a 'I missed you Marty', and maybe a kiss?"
"Fine, I missed not having my bed warmer. And you know I don't kiss you at work, so you'll have to wait till tonight"
This satisfied Deeks, who leaned back in his chair with a wide grin on his face
"So did you identify the agent?" Nell asked, trying to return the exchange back to work
"Got a DNA sample, but it didn't match any Agent that's active, inactive or MIA"
"Well that's good isn't it?"
Sam and Deeks looked at each other, having an unspoken conversation
"The badge on the body was genuine… but it's been sent to Washington to clear it up and verify who's badge it is"
Kensi looked at Deeks suspiciously, knowing that he wasn't telling the full story. But she trusted that he would tell her when he could
"Where's Hetty?" Sam asked, breaking the brief silence
"She took off a few hours ago with Granger, headed for DC. Orders from the Director"
….
"You should have told me, Owen. He was one of my people, I had a right to know"
"The Op had nothing to do with operations on the West coast, He was qualified for the operation… and most importantly, he volunteered. He sought me out, not the other way about"
"When can he be debriefed?"
"He'll be available for debrief once the operation is complete Ms Lange. Frankly you wouldn't normally have been read in. The only reason you have been, is because we had to maintain the appearance of normal procedure, and your people investigating on the ground did that. From here on out, you stay out of our way, and make no attempts to locate or communicate MY operative" the Captain stated, interrupting both of them
….
Nell got home, and started reheating some leftovers.
She had been living in this house for almost 18 months, it wasn't really hers, but she felt at ease there. She had given thought to moving out and back into an apartment, but there was something keeping her there, other than just being at ease.
The last few nights had been troubling, her sleep had been interrupted by the same nightmare. Well she thought it was a nightmare rather than a dream or simple desire
She would jump out of a car, stand in the middle of the road and point a gun at a rapidly approaching SUV, then she would wake up. Each night she would remember a little bit more than the previous night, by the end of the second week she remembered shooting and the SUV coming to a stop. Believing the nightmare to be complete, she expected that she would be able to sleep better, but instead she now remembered shooting the SUVs driver at close range. This was probably the most troubling part of the nightmare for her. Waking up in a cold sweat she reached over to the other side of the bed, expecting to find something or someone, but finding nothing.
….
"You Okay Nell? You look shattered" Kensi asked her partner
"Not been sleeping very well. Keep waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare where I'm some sort of crazy killer"
"What, like a psycho killer?. Not a killer, like when forced to, on the job?"
"I don't know Kens. I'm standing in the middle of the road pointing a gun at a car that's speeding towards me. Then when it stops, I shoot the driver, for not reason"
Kensi sits looking down at her hands, after listening to Nell about her nightmare
'Crap. Do I say something, or keep quiet' she thinks 'Oh to hell with it'
"That nightmare…. It's… well it's not a nightmare. It's a memory"
"Yeah right. I'm not stupid enough to stand in traffic, playing chicken"
Seeing Sam walk in and sit down at his desk, Kensi asks
"Sam, Listen to Nell about this nightmare she's been having. See if it reminds you of something"
After Nell repeats her story to Sam and begging that he tell her it's not a memory, she waits for his opinion
"It's not a dream. You really did do that"
"Be serious. Even if I had done that, WHY would I have done it?"
Sam and Kensi looked between them, neither one sure if they should say any more
"I know that you both know something. So just tell me" Nell urged the pair
"It did happen. You did shoot the driver.. It was on an operation, and … one of us was shot. The guy you shot was the one responsible for it. End of"
"It never occurred, to anyone, that I should have been told this. Is there more stuff that happened that you didn't tell me?" she asked, highly irritated
"We wanted to let some stuff come back to you, in its own time. Not force you to remember" Kensi responded, trying to downplay any wrong doing on their part
"What else. I want to know everything that you've been keeping from me" Nell demanded
"It's not their place to tell you Ms Jones. It was my decision to keep certain aspects of your 'history' from you. I remain convinced that it was the right call" they heard Hetty say from behind them
Nell turned to face the operations manager
"What else have I done Hetty. What else have you been keeping from me?"
….
"Yes, thank you Leon for letting me know personally" Hetty shut her phone off and lifted her cup to have a sip of tea.
She sat at her desk drinking her tea until late in the afternoon, having lost track of time. It was only when Nell interrupted her from her own thoughts, that she realised just how long she had sat in silence
"Are you alright Hetty?" the former Analyst asked
"I will be"
"We just wanted to invite you out for a drink with us"
"No. I thank you for the thought my dear. But I expect to be occupied for several hours. Before you leave, could you ask Mr Hanna to come see me"
A few minutes later Sam reported to Hetty, wondering what his team were being blamed for now
"Mr Hanna, take a seat"
After he sat down, Hetty remained silent. Unsure of how to broach the subject with her Agent.
"Earlier today I was contacted with a report on Mr Callen"
Sam leaned forward in his seat expectantly
"It's believed he was killed in an explosion yesterday. No body has yet to be recovered, however he was believed to have been in the building when it came down, and has failed to check with his contact since"
Sam leaned back, trying to digest what he was being told
"I Thought we had no leads on G?"
"We received a report a few weeks ago that he had volunteered for a duty assignment with JSOC, several months ago. It was made clear that we had to make no attempts to locate or communicate with Mr Callen. Until such time that his assignment was over. Inform your team, give the closure that you all need, and deserve"
Sam hadn't truly believed that Callen was actually dead until now. Seeing how shaken the old spy was, had him convinced that this was neither a joke or some tactic.
Sam returned to the bullpen in something of a trance. He had no idea how he could broach the subject, even less of an idea of how each individual would react, and that was before he even thought about how he could tell his own kids that their 'Uncle G' was dead