How to Make A Yaoi Fan Club
October 29th 2014
by Esile the Raven, Hetalia by Himaruya Hidekaz
There are many kinds of people in this world. So many things you want to do might clash with some people. Malaysia knew this very well, and she had held herself from doing it; it clashed with the rules and cultures—the religions...but sometimes she couldn't help but hear that voice in the back of her mind;
"Is it wrong to like something?"
And that, is, dear readers; that is the question in every mind of closet fujoshi.
Closet.
Fujoshi.
"Of course it's not wrong!" Taiwan said in a fiery spirit. "What is wrong with liking to see true love!? Besides, can we help ourselves if the students at our school are beyond moe? No! It's not our fault! And rather, it's a blessing! To watch true love..." she wiped a drop of tear on her face.
"Okay, Kak Taiwan, you can calm down..." Indonesia laughed nervously and trying to push the senior back to her seat. The pony-tailed nation exchanged nervous glance with the rarely quiet Malaysia.
"So...?"
"So...?"
"Come on, it's alright!" Hungary laughed warmly, patting Malaysia's back. "I'm Christian but I'm a fujoshi. There's no prohibition on liking something if you're not directly involved in it, right?"
"Um...what does that mean, ya?"
"She means that it's not a sin as long as we're straight, lah," Malaysia quickly explained to Indonesia.
Indonesia fell silent for several seconds. And then the girls turned to the only male nation in the room, none other than Japan.
"But Japan-nii is also an object of yaoi, is he not?" Malaysia asked.
Japan slightly blushed. "U-Um...I will have to consider about that..."
(Which means no, as usual)
"But of course, I'm not limited to gender's boundary," Japan stood up, hands on the table. "I'm a proud fudanshi! I love moe things, and moe things shouldn't be something people be ashamed of, isn't it?"
"So true, Japan!" Hungary clapped her hands.
"Sasuga Nihon-kun!" Taiwan cheered, blowing a whistle and clapped her hands.
"And so to speak," Japan waved his hands to calm down his proud fujoshi friends, and turned to the two of the ASEAN members. "Indonesia-san, Malaysia-san, please consider it. Will you help us to create the Yaoi Fan Club?" he asked with a cute frown and slightly tearing soulless eyes.
Malaysia and Indonesia had to look away to hide their fangirl squeals, praying that they don't jump at the senior or break into nosebleed.
"Alamak," Malaysia cleared her throat, crossing her arms. "I would like to have a place to ship my OTP...Besides, I think, as long as I'm not a lesbian, I won't invoke God's wrath?" she was convincing herself, and then nodded. "Okay, I'll join...if Indonesia joins, lah!"
Indonesia gaped. "E-Eh!? Why are you dragging me into this!?"
"Come on, Indonesia!" Malaysia whined, grabbing the nation's arm. "I mean, you can have five religions—and it's going to be six...That's much more controversial than being a fujoshi, right? Right...? RIGHT...?"
When it's like this, it means Malaysia definitely would only join if Indonesia joins, because that way, they could go to hell together. Oh no, I'm definitely not bashing fujoshi and fudanshi at all. Why would liking something be so dangerous...besides, they're just fictional characters! They're fictional! They're just our imaginations! Why can't we just like it!? Is it so sinful to—
(Author is having a temporary turmoil)
"A crime is not to be punished when it's only an idea," Hungary wisely said. "We're just writing about it, drawing about it, we're not forcing people to join or to actually do it...How come it's sinful?" she laughed proudly. "I used to be so torn about this as well, but after convincing myself that it will be alright, life is much more brighter and beautiful for me,"
"Hear that, Indonesia?" Malaysia's eyes were gleaming in want, and she tug Indonesia's arm again. "Come on...? Please? Aren't you sick of not being able to openly ship our OTP?"
Indonesia gulped, and then sighed. "Ya, it's true...I have five religions. If I can be fair and have tolerance about everything, I suppose why can't I join the club, ya?" she nodded, and Malaysia squealed. "Ya, I will join the Yaoi fan club, Japan-nii!"
Everyone in the classroom—which was only filled by those five, clapped their hands and cheered. Japan's soulless eyes gleamed as he stood up again.
"Alright, now we've fulfilled the condition to make a club," he said in excitement, something he rarely showed. "Ah, if you can get more members, that will be wonderful. Now, we should think of how to make the proposal to build the club,"
Malaysia, feeling excited as well, wanted to have more roles. "Let's make a benchmark, lah! First we try to write a blunt proposal using fake members! If Dad rejected the proposal, then we can make new ones with subtle words!"
"I see...But why can't we just make a request?" Hungary asked in confuse.
"Ya, because her adoptive dad," Indonesia pointed a thumb at Malaysia, "Is our school's president, why else?"
"Yes, true...I doubt Igirisu-san would just accept this club..." Japan nodded.
"Okay then, let's do it as you said, Malay-chan!" Vietnam squealed.
~.X.~
Dear Student Council President,
We have made this proposal to ask your agreement for us to create a club and allow us to use a class for our activities after school on scheduled days.
We have fulfilled the required members to create the club, as the following:
1. Lithuania
2. Latvia
3. Estonia
4. Sealand
5. North Italy
The club is named: Gay Couples Fan Club. Our purpose and activities will be covering the area of supporting gay couples in our school through fan arts and fan fictions. The current pairings we have in store are Germany x North Italy, America x Japan, England x Japan, America x England, Greece x Japan, Russia x America...
(it took three pages until they finished writing all the pairings existed in Hetalia)
England narrowed his eyes as he finished reading the proposal; his face reddened every time he caught his name in the pairings mentioned, and he started to feel a headache coming.
"Rubbish!" he slammed his hands—and the proposal to the table. Seychelles and France turned to him. "I'm bloody straight! How can—this is bloody foolish!"
"Mon Anglerette, what's the matter—"
England ripped the proposal into two.
"I AM NOT BLOODY GAY! HOW DARE THEY!" he turned to Seychelles sharply. "You! Put a bounty on The Baltics, Sealand and North Italy! They're getting detentions!" he huffed and threw away the ripped proposal. "I need some bloody tea with Japan!"
Seychelles and France watched the school president slammed the door close, and they quickly went to curiously read the poor proposal.
"Gay Couples fan club?" Seychelles tilted her head in confuse.
France gasped. "Mon Dieu!" he grinned and hugged the proposal. "This is beautiful! This is wonderful! Seychelles, don't tell Eyebrow King—I will attend to the culprits at once! Au revoir!" the beautiful blond also exited the room with a happy twirl.
Seychelles frowned, humming.
"...Is England gay...?"
~.X.~
"Excited! So excited—I just can't wait...Oh, Mon Cherri," France was snuggling to Malaysia the next time the Pre-Yaoi Fan Club met.
"Kesesese! The awesome me is definitely joining this awesome club and make it even more awesome than the awesome music club!" Prussia smirked, patting Indonesia's back proudly. "Plus, I can take awesome pictures of my brother and Ita kesesese!"
"And so yeah," Indonesia shrugged. "These two...joined," she stoically said.
"Yeah. This happened," Malaysia also stoically reported.
-Five minutes ago-
France just randomly came glomping to Lithuania, who freaked out and saying that he had no idea about it.
"I swear! I was—someone asked me to sign my name to a paper...I didn't do anything! I know nothing about Gay Couples Fan Club!"
"Yeah, we know nothing about that," Sealand smiled really wide. "But Malaysia said that if I sign that paper, I will be acknowledged, so I say, why the bloody not?"
France stood back and gasped again. He then turned away and dashed.
"MON CHERRI, MALAYSIA, LET ME JOIN YOUR FOOORCE~!"
Everyone in the hall coughed due to the dust France left.
...As for Prussia...
The albino was just chilling around awesomely by stalking his brother eating lunch with North Italy. He also took awesome pictures using his awesome smartphone, updating his awesome blog, because he's just that awesome.
And then a junior went to disturb his awesome rendezvous, the nerve!
"Prussia," Indonesia tugged the senior's sleeve. "I found your awesome blog, it's so awesome, ya?"
"Kesesese! Good, you know my awesomeness! What do you want from the awesome then?" he crossed his arms proudly.
"I was just wondering if you'd like to make our new club awesome," Indonesia tried to be subtle, and then pulled out her private collection. "And this is what our club is about..."
Prussia's eyes gleamed upon checking the album.
"Oh...!? OHHH!" he laughed. "These gay-looking-pictures are as awesome as mine!" he then went to drag Indonesia. "The awesome me shall join at once!"
"Ya, but the club is over there!" Indonesia pointed at the opposite direction.
~.X.~
And so, the next proposal became more subtle. France brought it to the president, accompanied with the awesome Prussia.
England was spending his time to make scathing comments on America's horror movies, and glared at the two.
"State your purpose,"
"Kesesese! Why the stiffness, thick eyebrows? I'm just here to make a proposal!" Prussia grinned wickedly and nodded to France, who handed the papers and then pretended as if he knew nothing.
Dear Student Council President,
We have made this proposal to ask your agreement for us to create a club and allow us to use a class for our activities after school on scheduled days.
We have fulfilled the required members to create the club, as the following:
1. Singapore
2. America
3. Russia
4. Australia
5. North Italy
The club is named: The Awesome Lovers Fan Club. Our purpose and activities will be covering the area of supporting couples in our school through fan arts and fan fictions. The current pairings we have in store are Germany x North Italy, America x Japan, England x Japan, America x England, Greece x Japan, Russia x America...
"THIS IS NOT BLOODY DIFFERENT—wait a second...North Italy—him again!?" England crumpled the proposal into a small ball. "Is he bloody mocking me!? Is he implying that I'm bloody gay!? And that bloody America..."
Prussia could only laugh and France took several steps away when England was emitting murderous, green, evil aura.
~.X.~
Indonesia and Malaysia nervously watched as Singapore was yelling in the school yard.
"Ack!? Why am I—why, what did I do!? Why am I getting detention!?"
"Ahahahaha! Brit-dude, what's your problem, man?" America laughed as England was dragging the two to dry them out on the yard.
"Dad! I refuse this kind of treatment!" Singapore yelled.
"Yeesh, Dad, whatever have we done?" Australia protested.
England huffed and stopped on his track. Behind him were Sealand, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia and North Italy, also standing in a line under the blazing sun. He turned to glare at Singapore.
"If you refuse this...why are you implying that I'm gay, you bloody unfortunate scoundrels!" the blond yelled, blushing and slightly tearing up.
"HUH...!?" the three victims gaped in disbelief. "Dad, you're gay...?" both Australia and Singapore asked in fear.
"Ahahaha! That's new!" America laughed. "Does that mean all this time I look really sexy for you, Iggy dude?" he winked teasingly.
England shivered in wrath.
"GET IN THE BLOODY LINE! And you, North Italy!"
"Ve...I didn't do anything, I swear!" Italy whined in fear—he was afraid of England, and he was also afraid of his food. "I didn't know anything! I didn't know that you're gay—I'M SORRY VE!"
England twitched, even more unimpressed. He flicked his fingers and some bucket of waters magically appeared in front of the victims. "I don't want to bloody hear it. Take those bucket, one for each and just stand there. If you bloody spill the water, go and run ten laps!"
The Baltics just did as told, since they're the Baltics. Italy wept and did as told as well, beyond confused. America easily picked the bucket, but then swung and splashed England.
SPLASH
"HAHAHA! ENGLAND IS GAY! I'M SO GONNA TWEET THAT!"
England shivered in wrath. America turned and dashed while the other blond screamed in wrath.
"YOU BLOODY GIT, HOW DARE YOUU!"
Thus the chase began. Australia and Singapore did as told and just watched whatever show was happening before them.
"Seriously," Australia sighed. "What did I do? I didn't know if dad's gay..."
Singapore frowned, thinking to himself when a flash came from one of the windows. He turned to see Malaysia and Taiwan were taking pictures.
The Merlion Nation twitched in realization.
"Those bloody idiots...This is must be their doing!"
~.X.~
And so, while the school was bustling with the new trending topic; 'England is Gay!', the Pre-Yaoi Fan Club held another meeting. And yes, since the force of Yaoi was just that strong, the members increased in number.
"Thailand joined~!" Taiwan cheered, patting the tanned asian.
"Of course, ana~ Besides, this kind of subject runs in my land, ana!" Thailand chuckled, always all smile. "The males in my country are as beautiful as females, after all. It would be a shame not to join this club, ana~ I wish you would've told me about this club sooner, ana,"
Hungary squealed. "Aahh~ So many friends! Maybe one day we can rule over the world with love and moe!"
Japanese chuckled. "Huhuhu...Well then, since Igirisu-san is possibly out to get us...We should really stop playing around with the proposal. I have a new plan," everyone turned to listen to him. "We should ask Germany-san to assist us in this matter. He's probably the only person England-san would take seriously,"
~.X.~
And so, Germany brought North Italy to talk to England the next day, because he didn't understand whatever it was Japan asked of him. England hissed when the two entered his office.
"What!? You want to bloody laugh on my face, you gits!? Bet you're happy now that everyone convicts that I'm a bloody gay, huh!?"
"Uwaaah! Germany—I'M SCARED, VE! I WANNA GO HOME!" Italy instantly hid behind Germany, who sighed and walked up to take a seat across England.
"Please listen to us, England. It seems we have been making a lot of misunderstanding –ah, by that, I meant Italy's proposals," Germany started, and England twitched.
Though since it's Germany, England couldn't really flip the world and chase Italy to shove some scones down his throat. The same went with Russia—England couldn't go to drag the big-boned nation for a detention...Sucks. Though he still could yell at Italy...
"So you do wrote those proposals!?" England yelled at Italy, who began to cry.
"I'm sorry! Please don't beat me, ve! I'll do anything! I'LL DO ANYTH—"
"There has been some odd errors when printing the proposal. Today I've brought the correct one, along with the real members of the club," Germany clamped Italy's mouth with one hand and dropped the proposal onto England's desk. "You folks, come on in," he said loudly to the door.
"Hey!" England hissed. "I'm the president! I'm the one who should—"
"Excuse us for intruding," Japan said, entering the room, followed by the rest of the Yaoi Fan Club. Seeing more people, Italy then hid behind Hungary, who giggled.
"Oh, uh...Japan," England awkwardly began to compose himself, slightly blushing.
Indonesia and Malaysia exchanged glances. Meaningful glance.
Fangirl meaningful glance:
(I KNEW IT, I JUST KNEW IT)
(I KNOW RIGHT!?)
(THIS IS TRUE LOVE)
"Igirisu-san, I'm really sorry for all the misunderstanding and inconvenience," Japan bowed politely and pulled a seat beside Germany. "The club I've been wanting to create is the Yaoi Fan Club," he opened the proposal on the desk to let England read it.
Malaysia elbowed Indonesia.
(Look at how tame he is around Japan!)
Indonesia surpressed a giggle.
(I know! I KNOW!)
"Wait a second—what is Yaoi!? Isn't it something related to gay...?" England abruptly asked. He thought of Japan as someone decent like Germany, so he didn't want to know if it's something horrendous...
"Ah, well...Yaoi is just a name. It stands for Yama nashi, Ochi nashi, Imi Nashi. It means 'no climax, no point, no meaning'..." Japan smiled. "It's a literature and art club, Igirisu-san."
"A literature club...?" England began to appear accepting, and everyone else were just so engrossed at how Japan was going to create the Yaoi Fan Club without lying to the president. "Why would you make a literature and art of meaningless things?"
"Ah, but that's the joy of it," Japan clasped his hands. "We only make simple literature arts, not many deep meanings, we just want to read and see the good parts without having to think too much...That's why it's called yaoi."
"We have a theme, and our creations will be published to gain income. We don't need any fund, we merely need a room to use. I wonder if that's too much to ask?" he tilted his head.
England raised all of his eyebrows, humming. His eyes then trailed onto the names of the members.
And he froze.
"France!?" he slammed his hands onto the desk, glaring at the bearded blond. "You're joining this club!?"
"Oui," France chuckled. "I am, after all, refined in art and literature—"
"Shut the bloody hell up! Japan, I'm joining this club!" England impulsively yelled. "N-Not because I care for you, I just...do this for my own benefit!"
"EEEHH...!?"
"KYAAA~!"
"Aside of the 'EEEHH', the 'KYAAA' is definitely out of place," Germany commented, looking around the room. Of course, it was Indonesia and Malaysia, because their OTP was making a scene in the room.
England could be all denial, but this scene was a scoop. A delicious one. Cherry on top.
Though if England joined, there's no future for the Yaoi Fan Club!
Japan had already predicted this.
"Ah, of course, you may," Japan smiled again. "Only you have to pass the test, Igirisu-san, just like the rest of my members,"
Ah! The members of Yaoi Fan Club brightened in instance. Of course, the 'test'.A fictional 'test'. Just for England.
England was frowning. "What...? I have to—I'm the school president, and you need my consent to create this club, and you want me to take your bloody test? Are you forgetting your place?"
"Of course not," Japan shook his head. "But I thought, as a man with such a refined talent in literature would respect a literature club, Igirisu-san," he smiled again.
And that...
Is a check mate.
England was tense, trying to make an argument, but that smile on Japan's face clearly saying that he's won the argument. His damned pride of literature blocked his protest. He's England, the home of literature! How can he just refuse a challenge and disrespect everyone on the subject of literature...?
He sighed, took the stamp and stamped the proposal.
"Fine then," he clicked the stamp and pulled it away, showing the official stamp of the Student Council W Academy. "I will be taking the test, and I will succeed, just you see!"
~.X.~
It had been three months since Yaoi Fan Club was accepted. They had their own room on the second floor. The club was scheduled for anytime they want, but the members came almost everyday—it was just so fun!
"Ciao, everyone!" Italy came in, and everyone applauded at the smell of pasta he's bringing. "Thailand~ I read the last chapter you wrote last night, I'm so happy so I made pasta for everyone, ve~!"
"Thank you, Italy!" everyone thanked cheerfully. Thailand accepted a serving of pasta from the brunette. "The next chapter will be up tonight. Why don't you paint a new cover for the story? It's reaching the second season, ana~!"
Italy saluted. "Si! Veneciano will do it at once, ve!" He turned to the door again. "Go SpaMano!" Italy cheered before going to get his painting tools.
Yes. Thailand was in charge of North-South Italy section. And Italy was a fan of SpaMano. Italy himself worked on the illustration with Japan.
"Prussia, we need more materials from Austria," Indonesia said, and before Prussia could comply, France excitedly cut him off.
"MOI! Let moi do it!" France squealed and snatched his own camera from the table. "Whee~ I can get to stalk that handsome Austria...Are we going to make a doujinshi of him this week?"
Indonesia was a drabble writer, she took pretty much any pairing requests with Malaysia—though they stood in the England-Harem Section. France and Prussia worked on gaining the materials, but Prussia did more of promotion and publication thrugh his awesome blog.
"Ah, hand that to Hungary," Malaysia pointed her thumb to Austria's ex, who was cheerfully typing the storyline.
"Yes, don't worry, France~ I'm going to finish the story first. If you want, I'd make a spin off about you and Austria,"
Hungary writes in the Austria Section most of the time. But she's a pro, so she can write anything without being biased to the pairings. Taiwan on the other hand, solely works for the Asian Nations Section. Though she'd still read other pairings with a passion.
"MERCI!" France gave an air-kiss before exiting the club's room, only to see the usual visitor. "Oh...Japan? He's here again, Anglerette~!"
Japan looked up from his draft and set his G8 Pen down, sighing. Taiwan giggled. Prussia laughed, though his eyes were still on his laptop.
"How are you going to refuse him now, Japan-nii?" she teased. "Kissing his cheek and tell him you're sorry?"
"Kesesese! I bet if you just tell that brat the truth, he'd still won't do anything against the awesome me!" the albino grinned wickedly. "After all, if he gets in my way of updating my awesome blog with awesome pictures of awesome boys, I will cut him awesomely!"
"I don't mind doing this," Japan smiled, taking a red pen before walking to the door. "Ah, Indonesia-san and Malaysia-san...? Ready with your camera, I see,"
"Hehe! Iya, lah~!" Malaysia and Indonesia high-fived before following Japan for another endeavor of refusing England from joining the Yaoi Fan Club.
Thailand waved at his sisters and chuckled to himself, returning to write his GerIta storyline. They could draw anything they want, write anything they want, publish them, making people happy, and occasionally get paid for it. So many pairings, so many possibilities...So many love!
"It's so fun everyday here, in the Yaoi Fan Club, Ana~!"
That's right, Thailand.
It's a club filled with rainbows. Why don't you come and join us?
SLAM
"HEY!" America popped into the club room, high-spirited like always. "Is this the popular Gay-Iggy Fan Club!?"
And everyone welcome you with smile!
"Correct!" Taiwan gave him a thumb up. "You may join the England-Harem section, take a seat beside Prussia, and wait for Indonesia and Malaysia to return, okay?"
"Alright! This is great!"
"Oh, but on one condition, ana!" Thailand stopped America from his excitement, and held his index finger with an eerily warning smile.
"Keep this a secret from England, understand, ana?"
America grinned wickedly.
"Hahaha! This is getting more and more exciting!"
Prussia grinned and gave him a thumb up.
"Awesome! Welcome to the awesome Yaoi Fan Club!"
I really should go back in time to my high school and create this club. What have I done all this time with life...
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