Pieces of Me
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Description: Lost, that's where he was, he looked around at the darkness that stared back at him ominously. Who was he? Why was he? What was he? Well that's a very good question indeed... Friendship fanfiction.
Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man, and by that I mean the manga for this one. The books one through five because I used quotes of conversation and quotes of what was happening in them. So if you only watched the series this might/probably won't make sense.
Just a story I thought up in my spare time, it just kind of came to me and I slowly started to put it together and I came up with this. Blame my imagination. Yes I know it's the same order of characters, but this time it had to be done that way.
Thanks for picking out my story, hopefully you'll like it.
Talking: "talking"
Thinking: 'thinking'
Italics: the past
Talking Italics: quotes from the past.
Dark bold: darkness, that's all I'm saying.
The '--'parts throughout the story are there to cover words, and if you're curious about any of them I can send you full quotes. Yes the story is finally starting now.
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He woke up all of a sudden; the only thing he knew was that he knew nothing. His name, his life, his past... It was all a mystery, like a book of fantasy placed on a shelf with books of non fiction. His mind was just blank.
So he stood up balancing on the balls of his feet, not quite sure of why he was doing it or where he was going. Looking about he was met with darkness all around, similar to trying to find the bottom or the ocean. He turned his attention to himself to see a black ragged outfit that resembled a suit along with a dirty white shirt and an unusual bow.
He started to wonder about a few things, like where he was and how he got there, what all of this was. It was just so confusing, he knew nothing, and yet surprisingly he wasn't anxious at all. He was calm.
"What... Am I?"
Suddenly a navy blue light flashed brightly into his eyes, he closed his eyes out of normal reaction. When they opened, he was met with a door, he gave it a looking over; it was just a simple gloomy blue door. So he grabbed the dented silver colored door knob and walked in, not caring much about what he was going into but more that he was leaving there.
He could see a tall tower standing proudly before him; a gothic architecture enveloped its details. As he concentrated on himself, he could feel he was a different person, someone he felt he should have known. But before he had much of a chance he felt a presence of eyes on him, and he curiously looked up to see a man glaring viciously towards him.
He tried to defend himself, unsure as to why the man would be giving him that look at all. The words made no marks on the man coming at him, sword gleaming, toward his head to take him out in a simple slice. A blackout seemed to cover his senses temporarily, was he dead already?
"Hey you... What's with that --?"
Looking up he saw the man again, common sense had taken the place of rage in the man's facial features, but a battle stance was still equipped. Before he could even comprehend what the man meant he was answering.
"It's an -- -- --. I'm an --."
What were these blank outs in his speech? Even the man made one from before, but why was it happening?
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"We came here to protect the in-o--n-e!! Take that doll's -ea-t now!!"
He suddenly turned to see the man, what just happened? How did he get here? He just didn't know... So he stared with questions in his eyes.
"What did we come here for?!" the man roared.
"I..." his voice took over, how was he talking now without trying? But he noticed now that less was being replaced with a silence. "I can't take it. I'm sorry. I don't want to take it."
The man grew angrier if that was possible, then roughly threw a black coat into his face. "That coat isn't meant to be a pillow for the wounded...!!" the man screamed.
He looked down into the cross on the chest of the coat; the intricate designs seemed so familiar.
"Exorcist wear it!!"
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Suddenly a jump of scenery to ancient stone steps, but he was more happy to the fact he was getting full sentences from the man.
"She stopped singing..."
A jump to a once beautiful girl... no she was a doll, that's what she was. A man's head lied on her lap, he was long since gone, and he bent down to look closer while a pang of sorrow struck him.
"Thank you... for letting me sing until till I broke. I was able to keep my promise."
She fell into his arms, and he could only stare out and try to hold back all the feelings he felt. Till tears consumed his eyes and he furiously tried to cover up by whipping away the liquid into his coat, but he wasn't quick enough.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Kanda... Even so, I want to be a destroyer who can save others."
He finally puzzled this whole trip with the man together now, he had asked what he was and he was answered. An Exorcist. A Destroyer. A Savior.
Kanda... So that was his name, for some reason a simply name seemed just as important as finding out what he was... He could only wonder why.
Black Out
He blinked his eyes open to see that things had gone back to an unending darkness.
But he quickly noted a difference, because he was now wearing a tall leather coat around his shoulders. The white and black outfit adorned in silver buttons gave a feeling of nostalgia and made him think back to something the doll had said before.
Promise, he couldn't remember what her promise was, though that wasn't what he was thinking about. He felt some sort of attachment to the word...
The idea was pushed to the side for now; he needed to keep on with this quest of his to find out more about himself.
"Who am I?"
Again in that instant he caught a flash from the corner of his eye, he turned to see a door. This one was different though, it was a forest green and had some sort of language etched into the surface. The knob was a foreboding black that reminded him of where he was right now, so he took it in hand and went through the doorway.
A young woman was now lying before him on a set of stony staircases, and he could only wonder what he had gotten himself into this time.
"Huh? --? What happened?" he heard himself ask in a voice of haste and worry. He was starting to rethink going back to the darkness, not that he knew how to, but in the end he went down to her and held her in his arms.
"Y... You're back, --." Turning his head up he saw a man leaning against a wall looking at him with a pained expression. This man was different from before, this wasn't Kanda, but he was more concerned with the fact the man had a bleeping word in his sentence.
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He jumped up to a sitting position, it happened again... A fast forward in time, why did this keep happening?
"--! Ah! You scared me." He was happy to see her again, not that he knew why; he decided not to question this joy in his heart.
"--" he stated.
"Sorry about my brother's invention" she replied with a guilty tone, sitting in an odd looking striped chair.
"Where am I?" Finally he asked a question he wanted the answer to, if only he had control of his speech and this little escapade might already be over. But he would have to be patient and wait and hope he would get what he was looking for, not that he was quite sure himself of what that was.
"This is the Science Department research room. Everyone is busy repairing the castle so they're all gone. Hear them?... Here. It was in your coat" She handed him a... what was it? It looked like a jar with cogs and such inside; he could feel the greater importance to it though.
"Ah! The In-o--nc-!" his hands rushed to it, and once determining it was fine he gave out a sigh of relief. "Good, it's not broken."
She looked over at him "If you bring it to Hevlaska, he'll take it" she then smiled a beautiful little smile.
"Welcome Home Al--n" he felt his face flush a warm red and he tried to look away from her, so he kept his eyes on her, but tried in vain to hide his embarrassment. The fact she was so close to saying his named didn't even cross his mind till a few seconds later.
"Th-Thanks" he replied.
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Another move forward, a few more times and he would be used to it, but he wasn't just yet. Now he stood outside the door of a train, there he found Lenalee standing in a midnight black dress. The sudden change from her smile before to this emotionless mask hurt him, and maybe if these jumps through time would stop happening he would know why, though they were going to happen anyway.
He reached to the back of his head awkwardly "Um... I was thinking, we really haven't talked since..." she stared at him, waiting for more. "You know." He started, self-conscious of every word and movement he made in front of her.
"About what happened. I'm sorry."
Now that mask covering her grief shattered right in front of him, but he bowed before he could glance at her face. This was out of fear that she hated him and to be polite, because he needed every little thing to make sure she forgave him.
"Ouch!!" the groceries she was once holding to her chest were now slammed into the back of his head.
"Don't raise your head" she threatened.
He shook a bit out of the spite in her voice "huh? O-Okay" he answered erratically.
"I still haven't forgiven you. You're selfish A-l-n."
"Just because you're the only one who can see Akuma... You take all the responsibility on yourself." He could hear her voice shaking now; he felt so terrible but just had nothing to say to her. "And when you fight, you put yourself in harm's way so as not to endanger others." Tears were brimming her eyes, but his bow was still held so his eyes could only look to the floor below him.
"That's not how comrades in arms behave."
"Don't patronize me."
"Why won't you... let me fight at your side?" she was screaming and whispering at the same time, it was confusing. She fell to the floor, sitting down bringing her knees into herself. He looked over to her reluctantly, and the sight nearly broke his heart.
"I hate it. I hate that eye of yours, Allen. Hate it."
"I'm sorry. Lenalee..."
Black Out
He didn't need to open his eyes to know that he was back to the ebony he started in. Another change had been made to him; his left eye was now 'activated', but he wasn't quite sure what that meant.
"Why am I?"
He had already started planning that question from the last session he was just in, figuring he would need another door. He wanted this over as soon as possible, if it could ever end that was.
So a spark of red came from behind, shadowing his body outline on the floor till it disappeared. The door was a fiery red with patches of black here and there along with quoted sentences. The door knob was a shiny green similar to the green door from before, but in so many ways different from before.
The door was open, and then he was gone.
The first thing he felt was the cold air about him, his breath crystallizing almost instantly. A shift of his feet made a slight crunch and he noticed the snow about him, this had to be the biggest change in doors yet. Which he thought was a good move because that last door... Those last few moments... It just depressed him to think about it. He didn't know why, but he felt like he let her down...
"How old are you?"
He blinked and then turned his head to the side to notice a red haired teen playing in the fluff of the snow. When did he-
"Fifteen" he replied, well not him but him. Or whoever the hell was replying and talking to everyone for him.
"I'm 18. That makes me your elder." He rolled his eyes at the comment, which is something he would have done either way. "Fifteen, eh? Maybe it's the white hair, but you look a lot older. You can call me --, though some people call me junior." Allen twitched at the bleeped out word, it had gotten old a long time ago.
"And I'll call you -- --."
"What?!"
He could only wonder what the older teen had said to him, was he cursing? Insulting? But he would never know.
"That's what Yu's been calling you."
He perked up at that, it was finally a name he didn't have to bleep through a million times till he heard it clearly. But who the hell was Yu?
"Yu?" and that was another thing he would have said, which was another win in his book.
"What? Didn't you know Kanda's first name? It's Yu."
He nearly fell face forward into the snow; he had gotten so excited only to have it all shatter. It was a name he already knew, well, back to the drawing board.
"Call him Yu next time you see him. He'll give you the evil eye!" he smirked and chuckled a bit darkly "but then, it might be a while before you see him again."
This caught his interest "how come?" seemed he was asking more and more questions that he wanted, finally.
"It's just a hunch but..." he continued to craftily make his snowman "The next mission is going to be a big one. The Earl is on the move again. The appearance of the Clan of -- is proof of that." The teen looked back at him "So you'd better prepare yourself." He warned, but still continued work on his snow people, just a little weird.
"I became an exorcist to destroy Akuma... " he could practically feel the aura of anger and sorrow in his own voice. But did he hear his voice breaking? Was he questioning? "Not to kill people!"
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Jump. Yep, he was used to this routine now. The only thing he couldn't get used to was the situation, the horror, the happiness, the anger. What would it be this time?
"It's a lost soul... Called back from the underworld to be an energy source for an Akuma." He turned to see the quivering voice coming from the red headed teen. Wait, the shaky voice, the petrified look on his face... This couldn't possibly be the guy he was talking to before. The one making a snow village while talking about a life and death battle... Could it?
"Isn't that what it is, Allen? Then how come... I can see it too?" the teen's eyes bore into him, the fear was impossible to miss. "Is it because of... your eye?"
'Go deeper into the world of black and white...' who was that, it wasn't his friend, no one else was talking, who? '... And continue to fall.' The eerie voice finished.
He could feel himself in a horror and questioning mood, he heard himself thinking "Has Mana's curse... Become more powerful?" but of course he didn't know who that was either... "Can the people around me now see the Akuma-bound souls that I see?!" he was guilt ridden now, similar to how he felt with how he left Lenalee, he consciously placed a hand over his eye, hoping it would stop his poor friend from seeing it.
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"I killed... The one I loved. I want to die..." a new voice, and a much more depressing start to his moving memories, or at least that's what he thought they were.
"If it hurts so much... Then become an exorcist." He replied to the vampire looking man sobbing before him. "Exorcists destroy Akuma... As you destroyed Eliade." So that's why the vampire was so upset, wait, he said her name...
He looked over to his friendly red head, Lavi that was his name... Was his memory getting better? Well if it was his memory at all that is, Lavi... Yes his name was Lavi, he was sure of it. He was remembering so much more now, but so much more terribly things were happening, if he went back to life, would he simply cause more of this pain in others?
"If you keep killing Akuma, then her death won't have been in vain. It will be part of a greater purpose." Listening to himself now, he could only think that he was a good person, but seeing all this pain he made others go through made him rethink this. "And you'll be saving a lot of people..." he reasoned with the fanged man.
But maybe that's not why he was rethinking his theory, maybe because this 'vampire's' story sounded so familiar. It sounded like something he should have known, something he would never forget no matter how much he wanted to. But here he was, having forgotten everything. Despair was starting to set in, what if he was stuck going from door to door, seeing this life he was once a part of? What if he never came back, he would have to live with the fact he was only left with hollow memories.
No. He couldn't think that way. He had to believe he was going to get out of this somehow or else he would for sure die here. A life was waiting for him to be completed, and who was he to say no? He did promise after all.
"That could give you reason to live."
Black Out
Still here, still in this forsakenness of what he presumed was a purgatory that he would live in forever. Or so he thought till a bright light presented itself without him saying a single word, hell, he didn't even think a single word.
"Good Allen, you've passed the test"
... Test? That whole thing with memories, emotions, death... That was a test?
"Ah, I see you're just as confused and curious as before. This was a test Allen, to see if you were given a second chance if you would keep that promise you made. You passed with flying colors kiddo."
Allen could feel the tears welling up, he remembered... Everything, but that wasn't exactly the reason he was getting so emotional. His eyes were steaming out waterfalls worth of water, his knees buckled under him and he fell to the floor. It couldn't be... Could it?
"No Allen, no tears please... You know how sad I get when you cry... Concentrate, it's time you left here and I'm sure you have no objection to that. But the only way you're going to get out is if you start walking... If not for yourself, do it for me? For your friends? For the Black Order?"
As told, he stood up from the concrete ground and walked to the light, yes he had to keep walking. He would be a liar otherwise. And as he walked into the warm embrace he smiled just a bit and closed his eyes to open his imagination, and imagined a man standing next to him.
"I'm ready Mana."
Black Out
He opened his eyes cautiously to a... white room, wow, if that didn't have irony dripping all over it, what did? As he started to gain focus of the details in the room he found something quite interesting, well three quite interestings. Right there in the room with him was Kanda, Lenalee and Lavi.
Kanda was sitting at the corner of the room in an uncomfortable looking hospital chair, Lavi was lying across the foot of the bed similar to something a dog would do for his master and Lenalee was draped over the bed, holding Allen's hand while she sat on her knees.
His grip around her hand tightened in a mix of happiness and not wanting to let go of her, or of any of them. But this small gesture woke her, sleepy eyes looked up into his stormy silver ones and at first she couldn't recognize what was going on.
That lasted about three seconds.
"Allen!" she screamed in joy, jumping on top of him, this caused a domino effect to the other two. Kanda woke to the school girl scream while Lavi was bounced off the bed and fell with a thud to the floor.
"Bean sprout!" Lavi yelled in the same girly squeal as he piled himself on top of Allen too, was everyone forgetting he was in a hospital because he was injured? Knowing Lavi he probably completely ignored that factor as he squished Allen's rib cage into oblivion with his bear hug. "Come on Kanda, join the group hug!" Lavi practically giggled to the older man, which got Yu to twitch. "At least say something Yu!" another twitch to the response of using his first name, but his face suddenly calmed and he looked Allen in the eyes.
"Welcome back Moyashi" Whoa... Now Allen was starting to wonder if this was really Earth he came back to. Maybe it was a second dimension or something... But whatever, that could wait till later.
'I'll keep walking Mana...'
He smiled at his friends, their antics would never get old and he was sure that they would never stop. Yes, he definitely made the right decision coming back, no doubt about it there, they would miss him too much... And he would miss them too...
It would be like solving a puzzle with missing pieces.
'... Only this time, I'm not walking alone.'