"A 20 year old Korean American female college student with myoclonus and spastic paresis, as well as hallucinations and panic attacks." Said Foreman to House as their scruffy looking boss walked in. His gait seemed more affected today, but no one said anything.
"Any family history of neurological disorders?" asked Taub.
"Half of the mother's side is stuck in North Korea so the family history is incomplete." Said Foreman, "All of her grandfather and grandmother's brothers and sisters are unaccounted for."
"One of the downsides of a 50 year cease fire." Said House, "Did you screen her for MS?"
"It's not like MS though. She isn't weak and she doesn't have any urinary dysfunction. Also, hallucinations and panic attacks aren't exactly a part of MS." Said 13.
"So no, you didn't screen her for MS." Said House as he turned to the now sighing Taub, 13 and Foreman, "Go scan her brain and see if you can find any lesions."
House looked at the symptoms on the board and mulled them over. He had a feeling that it wasn't MS but he wasn't going to be blindsided by an obvious disease. He checked the chart and noticed that the noticeable lack of sleep started 4 months ago and that the myoclonus and paresis started recently.
He doesn't remember how long he stood there for, but apparently long enough for 13, Taub and Foreman to return and show him the MRI.
"No lesions." Reported Foreman.
"It can't be MS." Muttered House.
"Because there aren't any lesions?" offered Taub.
"No, because it's too easy." Replied House, "You know what, I think I'll go practice my bedside manner."
"That's a first." Said 13 as House exited the conference room.
House stood at the foot of the bed and was staring down the patient. She looked tired but gave him her attention, as if waiting for him to say something.
"You must be Doctor House." Said the patient.
"And you are…" said House.
"Hannah Kim." Completed the patient, "But my friends call me Cay."
"Cay?" asked House.
"I don't know how it happened, but it's been that way for years." Said Cay with a shrug, "But thank you for taking my case; it means a lot to my parents."
"Your father is a very wealthy donor." Said House, "So I was more-or-less forced into taking your case… but you're becoming more interesting."
"How so?" asked Cay.
13, Taub and Foreman stood outside and watched the exchange… and they were baffled.
"Did you see that?" asked 13 to the others, "House just laughed. It was a chuckle, really, but still…"
"And it wasn't a sarcastic or biting laugh." Replied Taub, "He's actually laughing."
"This is weird." Added Foreman.
Back inside, House couldn't help but smile as he checked the file again. Something about this girl and the fact that she is so at ease in the hospital… in front of him. Well, it was different and he actually liked it. But he held that back and tried to look more serious… more displeased.
"So you can't sleep." Said House.
"I haven't been able to sleep well for years," admitted Cay, "but recently, it's gotten worse."
"I'll make a note that you need a sleep aid." Mumbled House.
"Thank you." Said Cay.
House put down the chart at the foot of her bed and then looked at her. He was about to open his mouth when the door opened and her parents came in.
Her mother is a smiling, yet worried woman who looked like she made a great effort to keep her wits together while her daughter was lying in a hospital bed with unexplainable symptoms. But her father is what revealed why House had a feeling of ease around her.
Her father walked with a limp. His left leg was giving him trouble and he had to sit down and massage his leg while he held her hand. Judging by how he wasn't distracted by the pain in his leg, House gathered that the limp must have been bothering him for awhile.
House said nothing as he exited, even though the parents called after him. The team that stood to the side said nothing as House made his way to Wilson's office. House swung up open the door and walked in.
"Come in." said Wilson, drily, "So nice of you to knock."
"I have a patient." Said House.
"What, some mystery that you can't even solve?" asked Wilson.
"The patient isn't… incredibly annoying." Said House.
"What, is she a 17 year old swimsuit model?" asked Wilson, "Wait, no, you had that model and you didn't buy it either. Is she a he? Maybe just like you."
"No, she's a she." Said House, "She's a 20 year old college student and… right away, I liked her. I couldn't understand why."
"Did you figure that out?" asked Wilson.
"Her father has a limp." Said House.
"Oh man, that's amazing." Said Wilson, actually stopping his work to look up and display his smile of triumph, "You connected with a child who has a father with the same handicap as you! The child feels at ease with you because you represent something familiar—her father! And you LIKED the fact that she felt at ease with you and you began to feel at ease with her. That's amazing."
"She can't sleep." Said House.
"And that's relevant—"
"It's relevant because it's one of the symptoms and I'm trying to distract you from your Doctor Phil hour." Said House, "She has myoclonus and spastic paresis as well as panic attacks and hallucinations."
"Hallucinations and panic attacks are probably brought on by the lack of sleep." Said Wilson, "Well, depending on how little sleep she gets."
"If we can get her to sleep, maybe those symptoms will go away and we can focus on the myoclonus and paresis." Said House and without another word, he got up and walked out.
"Hey, when she gets better, maybe you can take her out for ice cream and then go to the zoo!" called out Wilson as House shut the door behind him.
"Where's Doctor House?" asked Cay as 13 injected a sedative into Cay's IV.
"Doctor House doesn't really interact with patients." Said 13 with hopes that it made Cay feel special, "But I'll let him know that you were looking for him."
"Thank you." Said Cay and then she leaned back, ready to welcome the much needed sleep despite the fact that it's 2 in the afternoon.
"You should fall asleep in a few minutes." Said 13 as she wrote down the medication amount on the chart.
But nothing happened.
"That's strange." Muttered 13, "Have you taken sleep aids before?"
"I took Nytol and even doubled the dosage." Said Cay, "But it didn't work."
"100 Mgs of Nytol?" asked 13.
"What's going on." Said Foreman, "Hey, how are you feeling?"
"Same old." Said Cay with a tired smile.
"I gave her 5 mg of Ativan." Said 13, "It should have worked, especially with someone her size."
"You know, I actually used to weigh more." Said Cay with a tired voice, "I dropped around 20 pounds. I used to be curvy but now I'm a stick."
"Wow, how long did that take?" asked 13.
"Oh, around the time I couldn't sleep." Said Cay.
"Cay, we're going to hook you up to an EEG and monitor your brain waves." Said Foreman, "Nurse, I need an EEG in here please."
"When as the last time you slept? Like, at all." Said 13.
"I… don't remember." Said Cay, "But then again, I can't remember my school ID number anymore either." She gave a weak laugh and just looked out the window.
"Cay, look at me." Said 13. Cay looked back and with glossy eyes, she gave 13 a big smile.
"Something wrong?" asked Cay.
"What else can't you remember?"
"She can't remember her parents' birthdays or what classes she's taking in school." Said 13.
"But she does remember her dog's name and that she loves playing the piano." said Foreman, "She doesn't remember the names of her ex-boyfriends."
"So she remembers something she loves." Said House, "And forgot what she hates. That's nice."
"Her mother told us that she is still agonizing over her ex-boyfriend." Said 13.
"What are you Cameron now?" asked House.
"It was mentioned." Said 13 defensively.
"She can't remember the last time she slept." Said Foreman.
"But that can mean anything since she can't remember much. She could have slept at one point but just not remember it." Said Taub.
"We gave her 10 mg of Ativan two hours ago." Said 13, "She's still awake."
"So you left the patient alone without anyone monitoring her to see if she falls asleep?" asked House.
"Well, we thought the nurses---" started Taub.
"Go scan her for the PrP protein." Said House.
"Where are you going?" asked 13.
"I'm going to try to get her to fall asleep." Said House.
"What does the PrP proteins tell us?" asked Taub.
"Just check it." Said House as he walked out of the room.
"Don't you have a life?" asked Cay as she looked limp and tired in bed.
"Yes, I'm alive now, aren't I?" replied House as he settled into a cushioned chair with a book.
"I mean a life outside of work." Said Cay, "It's dinner time, isn't it?"
"I get my food delivered." Said House, "What's the most boring book ever?"
"I don't remember." Admitted Cay.
"Well, for me it's 'Pride and Prejudice'." Said House, "I brought a copy for you to read."
"I can't really concentrate my eyes on anything." Admitted Cay, "Also, I'm a girl, I love 'Pride and Prejudice'."
"Ah yes, a minor detail." Said House, "You can't focus your eyes?"
"Well, I think I'm just so tired…" said Cay, "You know I often fall asleep in lectures. Do you have a laptop? Maybe I can download lectures from my school website. Something about history."
"I'll call the nurse." Said House with a growing smile. He did he best to suppress his smile but nothing worked and the nurse eyed him suspiciously as she brought them a laptop. Under Cay's direction, House downloaded a lecture from the History of Viking Exploration. He hit play and settled down in his chair.
They talked for a little when Cay told House of a funny incident that happened in lecture and House told Cay one of his old college stories. Cay laughed about old times as if they shared the stories long ago and were revisiting them again. House just had a small smile and a softened look on his face. She had a ready smile and even with her fatigue and jerking of muscles, she looked completely at ease.
The voice droned and House found his mind slipping into sleep, despite the fact that it was early in the evening.
He woke up to hushed voices.
"He's sleeping." Said Cay's voice.
"I guess his plan backfired." Said 13, "What's this?"
"It's a lecture on Viking history." Said Cay, "It works… for the most part."
"I'm sure Professor Copenhaver will be flattered." Said Taub, "We need to speak to House."
"I'm up." Said House and then he turned to Cay, "Did you sleep at all?"
"No." said Cay, "But thank you for trying."
"Next time I'm going to get NPR." Said House, "Maybe we can ask Terry Gross to read the ingredients of a Twinkie."
"She's very compliant, I'm sure she will." Said Cay with a voice that seemed distant.
They stepped outside and Foreman handed House the file.
"She tested positive for PrP." Said Foreman with his face looking grim; he must know what it means.
"She has Fatal familial insomnia." Said House, "You better check the parents for the gene."
"I've never heard of it." Admitted Taub and 13 nodded in agreement.
"It's a very rare genetic disease where the patient experiences panic attacks, paresis, hallucinations, inability to sleep and finally dementia and death. It's not supposed to happen to anyone under the age of 30 so her case is… well, even more rare." Said Foreman, "At this rate, she has 7, 6 months at most."
"Don't tell the parents." Said House as he began to walk away.
"Where are you going?" asked 13.
"I'm getting the person that is going to tell her that she's dying. Don't tell her yet." Said House.
He found Wilson at his desk, of course, and stood in the center of the room awkwardly.
"She has Fatal familial insomnia." Said House.
"Wow, that's… not common." Said Wilson, "I'm sorry to hear that. I know how much she means--"
"I'm not in love with her." Snapped House.
"No," admitted Wilson, "but she's like the child you never had. You guys get along like two peas in the pod and according to the nurses and the team… you're nicer around her."
"She just knows how to handle my crap better than you guys." Said House, "And she's very rational and non-emotional."
"Probably the lack of sleep." Reasoned Wilson.
"We can chalk a lot up to the lack of sleep," snapped House, "but when we get to it she's a 20 year old girl who has barely lived her life and now she's going to die painfully and embarrassingly. She won't sleep for months and her mind will slowly go. She'll be just a shell of a person that she was before."
"And that scares you?" asked Wilson.
"I don't know what it does to me." Muttered House, "I don't even know when I care so much."
"You care because you've connected with her in a way unlike anyone else in your life… even Stacy." Said Wilson.
"You have to tell her." Said House.
"Tell your patient that she's dying?" asked Wilson.
"Cay, her name is Cay." Said House, "And yes… you're the best at it."
"She's not even my patient, I think she'll appreciate it to hear it from you—" started Wilson.
"Just… tell her. Here's her file" Interrupted House with a sigh, "Please." He was unable to look at Wilson, but Wilson knew that it took a lot for House to come here and ask for his help. So Wilson grabbed his lab coat and walked out the door.
Wilson didn't check to see if House was following him and he couldn't hear footsteps over the din of the hospital. His eyes scanned the file and his stomach dropped as he read the prognosis. He reached the door where the team stood outside and looked in with Cay and her parents fawning over her as they just came back from dinner.
"Hello, my name is Doctor Wilson." Said Wilson as he entered, "I came here to talk to you about your daughter's condition…"
The team stood outside and watched as they heard Wilson's muffled voice and her mother let out a cry of horror as she clutched her daughter's hand. Her father looked pale and stared down at the bed. Cay's face was quiet and serene with only her eyes giving away any hint of sadness with the welling of tears.
The team knew that this case was going to be one the harder ones. Cay might stay here for the rest of her days and they will watch with their own eyes a patient deteriorate before them. They watched as Wilson nodded and after gentle touching her father's arm and touching Cay's leg, he walked out.
"She wants to see House." Said Wilson, "That's all she said."
"Well, where is he?" asked Taub.
"I'm right here." Said House, who was standing at the corner and slightly hidden from view, "Why does she want to see me?"
"I don't know." Admitted Wilson, "I told her and the only thing she said was 'I would like to see Doctor House, please.'"
"She doesn't need to see me." Said House.
"She's dying." Said Foreman, "Just… go see her."
House said nothing else as he walked towards the door and slid it open. Her parents had tears rolling down their cheeks and when Cay saw him, she sat herself upright and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Thank you." Said Cay with a clear and strong voice, something that her parents haven't heard in weeks.
"You're welcome." Said House, but his tone told her that he wasn't convinced that he did anything worth thanking.
"You gave a name to what is killing me. You took the mask off the killer and showed me what my death sentence is. You gave me the light of knowledge and I would rather die knowing than die not knowing." Said Cay, "Thank you."
House nodded and repeated, "You're welcome" but with a stronger voice.
He left but felt like he left a part of him with her. He didn't say anything and avoided looking at the sympathetic faces that passed him by. He felt anger and spite raised at the back of his throat when 13 called after him. He walked down the hall, not knowing where he was going to go.
A knock on the door woke House from an alcohol induced sleep at 11 PM. He opened the door and to his chagrin, found Wilson holding a $10 bill.
"Keep your money." Said House, "What do you want?"
"She's offered herself to Foreman's study." Said Wilson, "Not his Huntington's disease study but his new study of Fatal familial insomnia. He's going to write about her condition and document her prognosis. All paid for by the hospital."
"Great." Said House, "And?"
"That means she's going to be here for the next few months and you better get used to the fact that a young adult that you've connected with on some familiar and paternal level is going to be around." Said Wilson.
"But not for long." Said House.
"Just because she's going to die, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't spend time with her. Yes, maybe it will make the parting easier to deal with but the experience you'll have with her will make up for it in the end." Said Wilson.
"The 'parting'?" echoed House, "Wow, you are good."
"Just… stop being an ass, ok?" asked Wilson and with a sigh he continued with a more gentle tone, "Her father had to go back to work and he's arranging to stay near the hospital and do his work there. But it's going to take some time to sort things out. Her mother had to go back and find someone to look after her grandparents, who are also dying, while they stay near her for the next few months. But again, they won't be back for at least two weeks.
She needs someone to be there for her. Even if she doesn't say she needs someone… we all know that she does."
"It is against my principles to connect with a patient." Said House, "You know that, well, at least Cameron does."
"It's too late." Said Wilson, "You've already connected."
"So you're telling me I'm doomed?" asked House.
"No, she's doomed, you're being an ass." Said Wilson, "The last time I saw her, she was trying to play the piano that Foreman brought for her. She asked if she could play it or… at least try to."
"She can't remember?" asked House.
"Her coordination isn't complying with her will." Explained Wilson.
House said nothing.
"I thought I heard someone drowning a cat, but apparently that was your attempt at Claire de Lune." Said House as he walked in, throwing his jacket on a nearby chair and walking over to Cay who was sitting at the edge of her bed and playing piano.
"I can't seem to get my fingers to hit the right keys." Said Cay, "I used to tell that to my piano teacher as a joke, but now I guess it's the truth. Do you play?"
"A little." Said House.
"Doctor Foreman said you're a virtuoso." Said Cay.
"You already knew I played but you asked anyway?"
"I wanted to see how modest you were." Admitted Cay, "Thank you for faking it."
"You're welcome." Said House, "Now scoot over and I'll show you how it's really done."
House played for her and she watched in awe and silence as he easily played the most difficult pieces that she only dreamt of playing herself one day. Now that it may never happen, she tried to live vicariously through House as his fingers swept over the keys deftly.
"You play so well." Said Cay, "I bet you were always good.
"I wasn't so good when I was 2." Said House.
"Will I remember you?" asked Cay and then changed the tone of their moment.
"I don't know." Admitted House, "It depends on how severe your dementia becomes."
"I hope I do." said Cay.
"Have you heard this one?" asked House as he started to play 'Heart and Soul' on the piano. Cay smiled and played along. She slipped up once in awhile, but it was recognizable enough for some hospital staff to stop and watch through the door.
"Doctor House I think I… need to lie down." Said Cay after her hand pressed flat on the keys making a loud, harsh sound.
"Are you feeling dizzy?" asked House as he stood up as quickly as possible and turned to her.
"I'm just so tired…" said Cay, "But I won't be sleeping, right?"
"Probably not." Said House, wondering why he was sugarcoating the situation, "Do you need anything?"
"I'd like to see my dog." Whispered Cay, "And a glass of water. I'll call the nurse…"
"Your dog?" asked House.
"He's a big German Shepherd… he's back home in California." Said Cay, "He depends on me… I bet he wonders where I went. The worst part is that my parents hate him." She laughed a little at the end.
"Well I don't know—" started House.
"I'm kidding." Said Cay, interrupting him, "How about I have the nurse bring a few DVD's and I watch them until the sun comes up? At least keep the mind sharp."
"What kind of movie?" asked House as he grabbed his cane.
"Something with a lot of senseless violence or really frivolous and unrealistic." Said Cay, "Oh, I want to just get up and go to the video store… I love seeing all of those small budget films and laugh at their titles."
"Hm, well let's see what we can do about that." Said House.
Cay browsed titles as Wilson stood behind her wheel chair, looking exhausted.
"Oh! 'Anchors Aweigh'! Talk about homoerotic military love." Said Cay.
"Sounds good to me." Replied House who walked slightly behind them.
"Thank you for taking us, Doctor Wilson." Said Cay, "I hope we didn't disturb you."
"Cay, I told you, Doctor Wilson doesn't have a life so he would be more than happy to come out and take us to the video store." Said House.
"Well, I'm always awake at 2 AM. I'm also amazed that the video store is open at 2 AM… But unlike some people, I need sleep." Muttered Wilson and the words were out of his mouth before he realized what he said. He turned red and gave a quick glance at House who couldn't help but have a big smirk on his face.
"I'm so sorry, Cay, I—" started Wilson, but Cay waved it off.
"It's ok, you're almost right. I need sleep, but Doctor House doesn't." said Cay with a chuckle.
"Sleep is for the weak." Replied House defiantly as he scanned some more DVD's.
"We better get you back before the nurses tell Cuddy." Said Wilson.
"Getting out is good for her." Defended House, "And infection is not our worry here."
"Yeah, if we can bore her to sleep then maybe she'll give us a raise." Replied Wilson.
"We listened to lectures on Viking history. Nothing can make me sleep." Said Cay, but she quickly added, "I would like to avoid getting you guys into trouble and I think we have enough movies. So let's head back before someone notices I'm gone."
House must have fallen asleep again. He woke up with a blanket on him and a pillow supporting his neck. He looked over and found Cay sitting up and mumbling.
He got up and grabbed her chart and noticed something new:
"Hallucinations – Dream state."
"Cay?" asked House as he looked at her. Her eyes were half closed and her lips were moving.
"She's been that way after Lethal Weapon 4." Said Cameron, standing at the door, "She's dreaming, that's what the EEG says… but she's still awake."
"Have you tried waking her?" asked House.
"No, we're hoping that she'll get some rest." Said Cameron.
"This won't give her any rest, she's just getting delirious." Said House, "Wake her up. I'm going to go wash up."
He walked out of the room and left Cameron to the task of waking Cay up. He needed a break.
House woke up in his chair in his office and groaned with discomfort. He woke up because he sensed that someone was standing before him and staring at him. He was right because when he opened his eyes, Cuddy stood there with a sympathetic look on her face.
"I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to take on a new case right away." Said Cuddy.
"I'll take a new case when it comes." Said House, "I told the team to pick whatever they think sounds interesting."
"Someone you care about is dying—" started Cuddy.
"A patient of mine is dying." Corrected House, "It's nothing new or different. She's a patient with a rare disease and I like to observe it."
"You're full of crap." Snapped Cuddy, "You know how many people came to talk to me about this? Wilson, Foreman, Cameron, 13—"
"What will it take to convince you that I am not emotionally invested in this patient?" asked House.
"Tell her that you don't care if she lives or dies. Just tell her that she's another patient with something that intrigues you." Said Cuddy.
House said nothing.
"It's ok to feel connected to another human being," said Cuddy gently, "and I don't care if you're going to be an ass to me or to anyone else here… but don't abandon her."
"And when she dies?" asked House, "Am I just supposed to be sad and move on?"
"The death of a patient is always difficult." Said Cuddy, "But you know that it's just something you have to learn to live with and move on from it. Every doctor hopes to always be distant from their patients… but once in awhile, one hits a cord and you become emotionally attached."
"Cameron is probably the champion at this." Said House.
"Then you should ask her." Said Cuddy, "Do whatever you can just… don't abandon your patient. She may seem strong but… she's slowly fading away."
The week progressed and Cay was declining and her dream states were more often than her conscious states. When she was completely lucid, House was always nearby to keep her entertained. The dream states were gaps in her memory and thinks that she spends almost all of her time with House. When in fact, she only spends half the day with him.
"Go home, House." Said Wilson as he intercepted House before he walked into Cay's room. Apparently, Cay was awake now and House had a new movie that they can watch.
"Eh, it's more fun here." Said House.
"You need a break." Reasoned Wilson, "Every parent does—"
"I'm not her father." Said House hotly, "I'm her doctor."
"Fine, every doctor needs a break." Said Wilson, "Go home for the day and I'll stay with her, ok?"
"She doesn't need you to hold her hand." Replied House.
"But she needs you to hold her hand?" asked Wilson and then he added, "I know she often tells you to go home and sleep. Maybe you should, just this one time."
House handed Wilson the movie and turned down the hallway to return home for the first time in days.
House watched through the glass door as her parents brought cards and letters, as well as a large and very furry German Shepherd. The dog quickly settled on the floor next to Cay and closed its eyes and fell asleep.
Foreman was inside taking detailed notes in his notebooks and observing her interaction with her parents.
House said nothing and before he could be noticed, he headed back to his office.
"Her parents will be here more often," said Cuddy, "so you don't have to spend that much time with her."
"Good, now I can get back to work." Said House.
"But we told her parents that it's best if they get some sleep. We can't have a bunch of people sleep deprived." Said Cuddy as she did not believe House's relief.
He said nothing and turned back to his e-mails.
It felt like a long day and House was ready to go home. However, he had to stop by Cay's room and just take a look in. She won't even know he was there.
She was alone aside from her dog who was circling the room. The dog saw House and walked forward, it began to whine at the door. Cay turned her head and saw House. Her face lit up with a big smile, so much that she sat up a little and gave a small wave.
House immediately waved back but kept his waving to a minimal as he felt a little foolish.
"Go in and say hello." Said Cameron, "She's been asking about you but when we mentioned that you were working, she told us not to bother you."
House said nothing but opened the door and walked in.
"How you feeling?" asked House.
"I'm doing well." Said Cay even though it was clearly a lie, "How are you?"
"I've been better." Said House with a little attitude in his voice, "Nice dog."
"His name is Kaiser." Said Cay, "I rescued him from the pound… I've only had him for two years but he won't leave my side. It was very nice of Doctor Cuddy to bend the rules."
"Well, he had a very vigorous clean from what I heard." Said House, "And every nurse that enters here agreed to change her scrubs and after they went into your room."
"Everyone is very kind." Commented Cay.
"We're all suckers for a bleeding heart." Said House.
"God, I'm thirsty." Muttered Cay.
"Here's some water—" started House as he poured her a cup of water.
"Oh, no, I can't really grab anything… they offered a sippy cup but I thought I can just let the IV give me all my nourishments." Said Cay, nodding to the now almost empty bag, "Maybe I can get a new one?"
"I'll get it." Said House, turning to the cart and pulling out a new one.
"Thank you." Said Cay, "You know, it's weird to think that after I die… life will just go on."
"Yes and you'll be forgotten by the rest of the world." Said House, "Comforting."
"Well, to be honest, I won't be forgotten because I would have died of a very rare disease and my form is even rarer." Said Cay, "But I won't be forgotten."
"Did you immortalize yourself in a concrete imprint on a sidewalk?" asked House.
"I always found concrete hard to get out of ass cracks." Said Cay, "But in addition to that… I'll be remembered by those that loved me. As long as they remember… I'll always be around."
"You're hoping that your loved ones will be miserable after you leave?" asked House.
"No, I didn't say miserable." Said Cay, "I said that they'll remember. I don't want them to be upset over my passing… you know, celebrate life and whatnot. After I die, life goes on… I can't fight that. It would be worse if they agonize over my life and keep themselves from living because of me."
House was about to say something else but he noticed Cay's eyes were half open again. She was in her dream state and he knew he should say nothing.
"House." Said cay in a voice that almost sounded distant.
"Cay." Said House, "Can you hear me?"
"Of course I can hear you," said Cay with a big smile, "now what are you doing here?"
"Where are we?" Asked House.
"We're on the river in Montana. You know, that spot I told you about." Said Cay, "Look at that… just beautiful."
House's mind raced back to what he remembers of Cay's stories about Montana. It was a favorite vacation spot for her and she went there on her own when she got into college. She hiked into the thick tree line and found a large river that rushed by her. She found a calm spot and waded into it and found her peace in the world.
"Yeah, it is." Said House, "Just like you said."
"I almost feel at peace here." Said Cay, "You know, like I'm sleeping."
"Well, it's very… peaceful." Said House.
He cursed himself in his mind, wondering if he can come up with anything remotely original instead of using her own ideas. This was bizarre because you shouldn't be able to talk to someone in their dream-state.
"You look worried." Said Cay, "Is everything ok?"
"I'm going to miss you." Said House, "And I know it's a bad time to say it and that it seems weird that an old doctor is going to miss you, but—"
"I'm going to miss you too." Said Cay, soothingly and her hand reached out and stroked his hand, "I wish we met in another life… even thought you don't believe in it."
"I wish we did too." Muttered House just as the door behind him opened and Cuddy walked in.
"House." Said Cuddy, calling his attention.
"I have to go." Said House, letting go of Cay's hand.
"Of course you do." Said Cay with a sweet smile, "I'll see you later?"
"Yes." Said House, "Soon enough."
He walked out with Cuddy and as he closed the door behind him, she burst out in chatter.
"What was that?!" cried Cuddy, "That was incredible! She was talking to you while she was in her dream-state??"
"Yes." Said House, "I guess she wasn't completely in that state and was just awake enough to recognize me."
"Where you guys anywhere special?" asked Cuddy.
"We were…" started House and then he closed his eyes in anticipation of her freaking out, "in Montana."
"This is amazing." Said Cuddy.
"So amazing that we're not going to tell anyone, ok?" said House as he began to walk down the hallway.
"Why not?" asked Cuddy, "You eat this weird stuff right up, why not this time?"
"Because in her dream-states she's actually happy and she believes that she is in this beautiful place and at rest. Are you going to take that away from her just so you can do a few tests?" asked House.
"The old House would have." Said Cuddy, "Not that I mind your sudden outburst of sensitivity."
"Fine, do your stupid tests." Said House, "But don't come crying to me if she has some kind of psychotic break and tries to kill Foreman."
Foreman and Cuddy stood outside the door and watched Cay who was still muttering to herself and smoothing her hair. She was still in her dream-state and they have the chance of talking to her while she's in it.
"House said that?" asked Foreman in complete disbelief.
"He did." Confirmed Cuddy.
"We'll make note of it." Said Foreman, "But for ethical reasons… I don't think we should bother her. Like House said… let her enjoy the little peace she finds in the world."
"You'll get a lot of fame if you managed to figure out how the dream-state works." Reasoned Cuddy.
"Yeah, but I probably won't be able to sleep at night." Replied Foreman, "But for different reasons than the patient's."
"Alright, good-night." Said Cuddy with a small chuckle as Foreman walked down the hall and headed back home.
"House, how are you?" asked Wilson as House walked into his office.
"Fine…" said House, "Why are you asking?"
"It's Cay." Said 13 as she stood by Wilson's side.
"Why, what's wrong?" asked House.
They stood before the door and watched as Foreman gave Cay a series of tests.
"We gave her the MMSE, 3MS, and Foreman is giving her the AMTS." Said 13, "So far, they all show that she has progressed into dementia."
"Her body is shutting down… it's natural that her brain should follow." Said House.
"But so quickly?" asked Taub, "I thought the progression into dementia took 7 to 18 months. It's only been a few weeks."
"FFI is supposed to only come around when you're over the age of 30 to 50." Said House, "Nothing about this is like adult FFI. It could be a completely new kind of FFI… one that starts at an earlier age."
"So how long do you think she has?" asked 13.
"I don't know." Said House, "Maybe 4 months… maybe 7."
"Maybe one." Said Taub.
"Come on, we another case… this one is over." Said House as he turned and walked away.
In the room, Foreman wrapped up his test with Cay.
"How are you feeling, Cay?" asked Foreman.
"Where's the place?" asked Cay.
"You're in a hospital, Cay." Said Foreman.
"Why this place?" asked Cay.
"You're sick." Said Foreman, "But don't worry, we're taking care of you."
"Will I be worse?" asked Cay.
"We're doing our best." Said Foreman.
"I want my Home." asked Cay.
"You live on the west coast, you're on the east coast." asked Foreman.
"Oh." Said Cay, "I can't go home?"
"Wait, you want to go home or you want to… have your home?" asked Foreman just as 13 walked in.
"What is it?" asked 13.
"Who's this person?" asked Cay.
"My name is Doctor Hadley." Said 13, "She wants to have her home?"
"I think she means House." Said Foreman, "'I want my Home'."
"I'll get House." Said 13 as she rushed out of the room as quickly as she entered.
House stood outside and watched Cay pet her dog's head as he lay on her bed. Wilson stood next to House and let out an audible sigh.
"Wilson, if you keep sighing like that I'll be forced to hit you." Said House.
"She asked for you." Said Wilson, "And you won't go in?"
"That's not her." Said House, "Her body is the same, for now, but her brain is altering… she's not the same."
"She said 'I want my House'." Said Wilson, "That doesn't sway your stony heart?"
"She just wants to go home." Said House.
"This early in dementia, her sentences still make sense but her words just don't line up to what she wants." Said Wilson, "Just… go in. Please?"
House sighed and opened the door. He walked in and stood there and waited for Cay to notice him. It didn't take too long because Kaiser looked up and wagged his tail at the sight of House.
"It's you." Said Cay.
"Yes, me." Said House, "You recognize me?"
"We met in Montana." Said Cay, "I'm glad to see you again."
"At the river."
"Yes!" exclaimed Cay, "You remember the river."
"Well, you can never forget a river like that." Said House, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm sick." Said Cay.
"Yes, so I've heard." Said House as he walked over, "Your dog likes me."
"Yes, he's a good dog." Said Cay, "I didn't know he was mine."
"Well, as long as you're here." Said House and in the back of his mind he cursed his sugarcoating again.
"Are you ok?" asked Cay.
"I'm fine." Said House and then his eyes narrowed, "Why?"
"I'm worried about you." Said Cay, "You look sad."
"I am sad." Said House.
"Why?" asked Cay.
"A friend of mine is dying." Said House as he looked at her square in the eye.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Said Cay, "Is this a good friend?"
"She's more than a friend."
"Oh, a girlfriend?"
"No." said House with a small smile and a shake of his head, "She's like a… daughter."
"Oh, do you have a child?" asked Cay.
"No, but I like to think that if I had a child… she would be the one." Said House.
"You must love her very much." Said Cay.
"I do." Said House, "Very much."
Outside, Foreman, Cuddy, Wilson, Taub, 13 and Cameron stood there and watched in amazement.
"She's incredibly lucid." Said Foreman, "From what we can hear."
"He hits some part of her that no one else can." Said Wilson, "Even her parents… they can't even communicate like this."
"Do you think it's weird that House found a soul mate in a 20 year old?" asked Taub.
"She's not a romantic soul mate or anything," quipped Cameron, "she's like… a child. He's her father or something."
"They just understand each other." Said Wilson, "They understand each other without the psychological problems or past demons. They just… get it."
"Are you trying to say they're kindred spirits or something?" asked 13.
"Who knows," said Foreman with a shrug, "but do you think it's fair to ask him to spend time with her when she will ultimately die?"
"I have a feeling that House will come anyway." Said Wilson.
"House has a heart." Said Cuddy, "Amazing."
The months slipped by and Cay's parents spent the day with her and House spent nights with her. He barely functioned during the day but no one said anything of it. He didn't spend every night with her, especially if he couldn't draw her into a lucid state. As time progressed, House spent less time with her because most of the time… she's not there.
Finally, the 5th month came and while House and the team, minus Foreman, worked on another case, Wilson came in.
"Her heart rate is slowing." Said Wilson, "Her breathing is labored and her parents don't want her to put her on a respirator… I think it's time."
"She died a long time ago." Said House, "We have another patient to save, maybe this one is a keeper."
"You'll regret it if you don't see her one last time." Said Wilson, "You know she would want to see you."
"She has full blown dementia. She hasn't been lucid for two weeks." Said House, "No one's home. The body is finally following the mind."
"She just asked for you." Said Foreman after he ran into the room, "She said your name."
"My name is also an object—" started House.
"She said 'my Home'." Said Foreman, "It's you."
House felt his stomach sink and the event that played out in his mind over the past few weeks was finally coming true. He hurried down the hallway and there were her parents, crying as they stood by the side of her bed. House walked over and Cay saw him.
Her face lit up like before, in the same way that it did before.
"You look good." Said House, reverting back to his biting sarcasm.
"I feel ripped." Said Cay with a faint and distant voice.
"So this is it?" asked House.
"The big number." Confirmed Cay, "The time passes with the river."
"And you'll be happy." Said House as he tried to follow her scattered speech.
"I'm sorry to leave." Said Cay, her voice unusually strong and clear.
"Your heart rate is slowing." Said House as he watched the monitors, "Your O2 stats are dropping."
"Good luck." Said Cay with her glossed over eyes staring intently at House.
"Save your breath." Said House as he secretly hoped that if she saved her breath, she could live for a little while longer.
"I love you." Said Cay as her heart rate finally dropped to 0. Her O2 stats faded and her EEG showed nothing on report.
Her parents let out a loud sob and clutched each other as House looked at her now resting face.
She still looked tired. She still looked confused and in pain. House felt angry and wondered why even in death, how could she not look at peace. With a gentle hand he closed her eye lids and screwed up his mind to imagine her looking like she was sleeping.
"I'm sorry for your loss." Said House in a hollow voice. He turned and walked out, hoping to leave the sobs behind. As he exited the room, the dog, Kaiser, followed him.
"Do you want to get drunk?" asked Wilson.
"Drinking at 2 in the afternoon?" asked House, "Wilson, you drunkard."
"You can call it a day." Said Cuddy.
"I have a patient." Said House.
"We can take care of it." Added Foreman.
"I don't need this." Said House, "Let's cure the patient and then I'll go home. Ok? Come on kiddies, let's go."
He walked down the hall and the others stood and watched, knowing that they couldn't do or say anything to possibly change his mind.
Later that night, House sat at the piano with a glass of scotch and the dog at his feet. He couldn't get the dog to stop following him and even had Taub drop the dog off at his place. A new bag of dog food next to the front door and bits of kibble surrounding a metal bowl showed that the dog was a new resident.
House played 'Heart and Soul' and when he tried to play the other person's duet… he felt his heart ache.
He stopped and looked at the keys, wondering where his eyes could rest without feeling the aching pain in his chest. Before he could decide what to do next, there was a knock on the door and Kaiser barked.
"Get used to it, buddy, I'm very popular." Said House to the dog as he stood up and headed over. Kaiser quieted down and sat, watching the door intently as it to protect his new master.
"Hi." Said Cuddy as she stood in the doorway with a bottle of wine.
"Can I help you?" asked House, "I think I know what you're looking for but you better not be asking for money."
"I'm sorry." Said Cuddy, "Wilson told me not to say anything and to let you just… sit. But I need to say something because I'm sad too and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
"Come in." was all House could squeeze out with Cuddy crying and tears spilling down her cheeks. She followed him in and had a sober moment when she saw the dog watching her by the piano. He handed her a tissue and walked back to the piano.
"So how are you mourning? Drinking and playing piano. Nice." Said Cuddy.
"I'm not mourning," said House, "I'm living."
"I know you miss her." Said Cuddy, "I can't imagine losing someone that close to me… losing a child—"
"I'm not her father." Said House, "I can barely understand the grief of her parents."
"Are you going to tell me that you won't miss her every day?" asked Cuddy, "Your stupid jokes, bad movies and embarrassing stories. How she took your wit and turned it right back at you, tenfold."
"What I'll remember is a young woman dying slowly of a rare and agonizing disease." Said House.
"You're such an asshole." Said Cuddy as she wiped tears from her face.
"Come here." Said House as he motioned her over to the piano. Cuddy stepped over the canine and sat on the piano bench next to House.
"See, life is like a good song." Said House as he played a beautiful melody and continued to speak to Cuddy, "And when someone in your life dies, it's like the part of the melody dies with it… some parts are beautiful…"
He played a string of notes that gave a feeling of warmth and comfort.
"…and some of them are like this."
He hit a harsh chord that grated at the nerves.
"If a part goes away… we learn how to play the song without that part of the melody." Said House as he set up the song for the beautiful part and then stopped, "It just takes awhile to figure it out."
"How drunk are you?" asked Cuddy as she was completely baffled by what House just said. It was so… unlike him.
"I didn't come up with it." Said House, "It's the last thing that she told me when she was… you know, there."
"You would make a wonderful father." Said Cuddy and at those words, House's hands pounded on the keys and he looked down.
He said nothing and she said nothing. The silence was chased out and the discord of notes reverberated through the room. Neither of them moved as a car passed outside, the dog whined and footsteps were heard upstairs.
Then life moved on… just like she said.