Family for Christmas

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or the CSI show and characters

A/N: Yes, this has the girl from the cat episode of CSI where Sam's actress starred in, she played Jackie Trent.

-ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY FAMILY-

Fifteen year old Jessica Trent walked out of the halls of the Las Vegas Juvenile center, she was shaking and tears were dripping down her cheeks. Today was the day she was finally being released. If she was right, Jackie would be fourteen. She hated juvenile, she hated everything, even herself. After all, she had murdered an old lady. It took some time before it sunk into her, she took a human life. She didn't deserve to live. Maybe she did deserve to be placed into a male juvenile detention center where Mrs. Elliot's grandson, Jerry was. Maybe she did deserve for him to constantly try and beat her up for years until he was released. Thankfully, the warden kept them separate most of the times.

Once outside, she met up with Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows, she looked at them and then toward the ground. "Why?" Jessica asked with a shaky voice. "Why release me? Why when I took that lady's life? Why when I caused so much grief? Why let me live? I took a human life…I killed an innocent woman! I shouldn't deserve to live!" Grissom frowned and Catherine placed a soft hand on Jessica's shoulder. Jessica shook and tears continued to drip down her cheek. "I was constantly reminded by her grandson how worthless and vile I am. I hated myself…I…I just want my mommy! WHY HAS SHE NEVER VISITED ME!!!" Neither Jackie nor Mrs. Trent ever visited Jessica. Maybe once did Mrs. Trent ever visit, but after that, it was no more. "Did she abandon me?"

"No," Catherine said with a soft and quiet voice. "She was your mother, she would never abandon you. She loved you and Jackie with all her heart." Jessica's body shook once more and she let out a single sob.

"Then why? Why did she stop caring? Why did they put me in the same place with the grandson of that woman? I felt guilty enough, why did I have to be abused? I suppose I deserve it, after killing his grandmother…"

"No, you never deserved to be abused." They knew well that when she killed Mrs. Elliot, she felt guilty. After killing someone, you never truly get over it. So naturally she felt she deserved such abuse.

"How can you say that? My family's left me, I've been abused, and I keep having nightmares. Do you know how many Christmases I've spent without my mom and my sister? Do you know how many lonely years I've spent, and it's all my fault…I was ten, I didn't know what I was doing! Then they placed me in that male juvenile center with that bastard…DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE TRAMITIZED ME?! One time he said he wanted to carve an E into my back, for Elliot!" Jessica dropped to her knees and sobbed into Catherine's arms.

"I'm sorry, Jessica."

"No, nobody can know how bad I feel. I want my mom, I want my sister, and I think they hate me." It was the last week of November and so close to Christmas. Catherine held her close and Grissom crossed his arms, waiting as Jessica cried. She was still a little girl at heart, she didn't need to be thrust into the juvenile center. "I want Mommy…I want Jackie! I don't want to be alone another year!" Her fists tightened around Catherine's shirt as she buried her face into it. "I didn't mean to do it, I didn't want to become evil. I didn't want to murder…I acted too fast, I didn't know the pen would hurt her."

"Jessica, we need to get moving," Grissom said in a soft voice. "We understand how you feel. Rest assured, I'm sure your family doesn't hate you." Jessica sniffed and looked at Grissom, not believing what he said, after all, they never visited her. "At some point of time, they went into the witness protection program, because of Mrs. Elliot's son, and they moved away somewhere. We don't know what they go by or where they live, since we didn't make those rules."

"You mean there's a chance I can't ever see them again?"

"We could try to look, but we think it'd be best to place you in a foster home."

"NO! No, I don't want to do that!" Jessica stared at the ground and let a tear fall down her cheek. She couldn't go to a foster home, she just couldn't. She couldn't trust any adults, not after her years in juvenile. Jerry was one to two years older than she was, but it was the guards in the prison that never helped her. It was most of the adults in the prison that basically tortured her and let Jerry hit her. The only one she could trust was the warden, the warden was nice enough to her. "They'll hurt me, once they know what I did, they'll hurt me. They always do…I killed someone, I'm a murderer." Catherine sighed and slowly rubbed her back, comforting her.

"You can stay with a friend of mine until someone can find your family, are you okay with that?" Catherine asked, smiling subtly. "She's a friend, so I know she won't do anything harmful, you can trust her."

"Really? You mean that?" Catherine nodded and stood up with Jessica. "I don't know if my family will ever want me back."

"You do realize it will take some time to find them," Grissom stated in a quiet voice. "It could take months, and even still we might not be permitted to locate them." Jessica frowned and nodded her head with understanding, despite how much she hated it. Jessica closed her eyes and sighed, yet another Christmas she would have to spend without her family, and she may never spend another one with them at all. "Are you ready to go, Jessica?"

"Yes. Where is your friend?"

"Her name is Tammy, she has a daughter around your age named Megan. You can stay with her for the time."

"Thank you."

-NEW SCENE-

It was now December 11th, and Jessica was still not anywhere closer to finding her family. Though she did become very close friends with Megan, and they lived in a wooded part of Seattle. "Hey, look at it this way, at least you're not in a cold prison cell for Christmas," Megan said while giving Jessica a hug. "Hey, I know this guy who is pretty cool. I think you'd like meeting him." Megan whistled and glanced to the side, seeming awfully suspicious to Jessica. She of course knew her friend well enough by now.

"You set me up on a blind date, didn't you?"

"Now Jessica, you will like him a lot, I'm sure of it! His name is Shane Johnson, and he's a very nice person, in my book. He had a bit of an accident a few months back, but he's recovered well." Jessica was still not sure if she wanted to meet him, especially not when she feared strangers. She hated strangers and she hated cats. "It's not really a blind date, but more of a chance for you to meet him and him to meet you. You see, he visits every now and then, and he's supposed to return something to me today…" Jessica raised her eyebrow and Megan chuckled nervously. "He doesn't know you're here. Well, he knows in a way, because I told him I had a friend who stayed with me, but he doesn't know who you are."

"Whatever Megan, I'll meet him."

"I'm glad! And besides, you know I'm a black-belt in Karate, if anyone tries anything, I'll just kick their ass. Jessica chuckled lightly and nodded her head, she really could trust Megan with that. "Now when he gets here, I'll just stay out of your way, if you catch the drift." She winked and Jessica's jaw dropped.

"Megan!" She sighed and smiled at her friend, she had to appreciate her anyway, she was the nicest person she'd been around since Jackie. Upon thinking of her sister, a tear started to fall from her eye, catching Megan's attention. "I miss her, Megan. I miss my little sister so much. All she wanted was that cat, there were plenty cats walking the streets, there were plenty cats elsewhere to adopt…she wanted Rascal, she wanted that cat…and I killed that old woman over a cat! No guy is going to go out with me after that, nobody will hire me later when I need a job, and if I ever do find my family, they're going to hate me!"

"Oh, Jessica…" Megan wrapped her arms around her friend and sobbed with her, feeling her pain. "Hey, I know it's impossible to just move away from it, but you shouldn't dwell on something like this. I bet it will be so different from what you think!"

"How different…I'll be away from my family for Christmas…"

"How about instead of thinking about them, think about all that you want for Christmas! Like...a new alarm clock for one thing." Jessica chuckled and shook her head, though she did need a new alarm clock.

"All I want for Christmas is my family." Megan nodded and looked over as the doorbell rang, she smiled and quickly hurried to the door.

"That should be Shane!" Jessica laughed and walked over as Megan opened the door, the instant Shane stepped in, her jaw dropped. Shane was pretty handsome, and oddly, she felt a good connection with him.

"Here's that CD you wanted," Shane said as he handed her the CD in question. He looked over at Jessica and smiled lightly. "Hey, is that your friend?" She seemed pretty attractive to him, and she did remind him of someone. Megan smiled and nodded her head.

"Yep, this is Jessica. Jessica, this is Shane. Make yourselves comfortable while I go and fix some stuff in my room." Jessica and Shane looked at Megan with slight shock as she hurried off to her room.

"Well…" Shane rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled as he stretched his arm out. "I'm Shane Johnson, it's good to meet you." Jessica smiled and shook his hand.

"Jessica Trent." He blinked and realization flooded him, he had heard the name before in the news a few years back.

"Jessica Trent? You mean the same Jessica that killed the cat woman?" Fear pulsed through her body and she let out a frustrated shout, she didn't want him knowing that. She quickly moved to the couch and sat down, burying her head in her hands as she tried to forget. He smiled softly and sat next to her. "Hey, that's not going to be a factor in our new friendship, is it?" Jessica lifted her head and stared at Shane in wonder, as though he were an idiot.

"What do you mean? I hate my past, so would everyone who knows me, they would hate me."

"Hey, I know what you did in the past, but I don't know you. Therefore, I have no reason to hate you. Plus, I can let you in on a secret, since it seems I know a secret of yours." Jessica raised her eyebrow and Shane leaned back, smiling gently. "My half brother is Freddie Benson, and he's also my greatest rival. In everything we do, we compete. In every sense of the word, we could be considered enemies. Yet, as much as we compete and don't like each other, we seem to come together all the time."

"I really don't feel comfortable about talking about siblings…" Shane raised his eyebrow and Jessica stared toward the ground. "I want to find my sister, but I don't think I ever will see her or my mom either. I know she hates me too, she has to." Shane chuckled and Jessica looked at him with surprise. "What's so funny?"

"Siblings can't hate each other, it's not in their system. They can be sworn enemies, but they will never hate each other. So is that what's keeping you from her?"

"No…they took another name and the officers I talk to can't locate them. With only two weeks until Christmas, I can't believe I'm going to be without…again."

"Well, maybe I could be here for you on that day." Jessica laughed once and Shane raised his eyebrow in concern. "What is so funny?"

"I don't know why or how I can just open up to you…"

"I don't know either."

"I mean, with everything that happened to me, and because of me…I might have died in prison. Jerry Elliot, I hate him…he's tried to harm me in more ways than one, and every single guard in that prison let him!"

"Well he can't hurt you again. You've got Megan looking out for you, and I guess your new friend!" He smirked and Jessica gave him a small smile, she found it comforting that he seemed so kind to her.

"So, do you think I might meet your brother sometime?" Shane laughed and crossed his arms, that would be only if Freddie actually wanted to let Shane around.

"I think you'd be interested in meeting him. He's got a new girlfriend too, her name is Sam Puckett. You should meet her, you'd love her! She's tough, doesn't let anything get in her way of anything, but oddly she doesn't talk about her past much. She kind of picks on other kids…I heard Freddie say that because she doesn't like to be used, to be manipulated, and if she can generate fear, then nobody is going to use her."

"Huh…I wonder why she'd do that. Unless…she doesn't like talking about her past, you say?"

"That's what I hear."

"You know, I think Megan believes I need to get out more and start going on dates, I don't think I have to do that."

"Well, I say do it when you feel ready. I mean hey, this is the Christmas season, maybe a Christmas Miracle will happen." Jessica laughed and smiled through the tears that were going down her face, if a miracle would happen, she hoped it would soon.

"What guy would date me if he knew about my past?"

"Any guy probably, I mean…you're pretty. I bet if someone got to know you real well, they'd love to date you. Hell, I know your past, but I would still date you."

"Wait…is that your way of asking me out or something?" Shane laughed and smirked slightly.

"Well, if you want to go out with me, I'm sure that wouldn't be too bad. At least you're not fighting over me with another girl." Jessica blinked and glanced to the side, she did actually think he was cute, she wouldn't mind dating him. "So, would you like to go out with me sometime? I mean, we could get to know each other and hopefully something will come of it."

"Yeah, yeah I would love to go out with you." Shane smiled and Jessica looked into his eyes, wondering if she was really ready to date, if she was really ready to trust a man with something like her heart. "Just don't hurt me, don't do anything to hurt me."

"I wouldn't." She smiled and gave him a friendly hug, the two thought they could hear a triumphant cheer from another room. Jessica rolled her eyes and smiled, maybe things could get better for her. Who knows?

-NEW SCENE-

With a week to go before Christmas, she was getting antsy. She still wanted her family, her heart ached for them, but no one knew where they were. Shane was taking Jessica to meet Freddie and his friends at a smoothie shop, so that would be something to ease her mind. They made it in and saw Freddie with Jonah, Jake, Valerie and Carly. "Hmm, Sam didn't come?"

"No, she said she had something important to do with her mother," Freddie said with a slight shrug. "She said it was too bad she'd miss out on meeting your new girlfriend." Freddie looked over at Jessica and smiled. "Hello, I'm Freddie."

"I'm Jessica, it's nice to meet you." Shane smiled and draped his arms around Jessica's shoulders.

"Well Freddie, maybe you beat me on being the first to get a girlfriend, but I think I've hooked a beautiful one," Shane said with a slight smirk. "Not that Sam isn't pretty, but Jessica's more beautiful in my book." Freddie closed his eyes and a smirk formed at his lips.

"No, Sam is truly more beautiful in my book," Freddie replied. "By far…"

"Must you guys compete at even that?" Jonah asked while raising his eyebrow. "I mean seriously, isn't that low, trying to see who has the prettier girlfriend?" Jonah draped his arm around Valerie's shoulder and grinned. "Valerie outshines them all, though."

"Hypocrite," Valerie said with a slight laugh. Jonah smiled sheepishly and Valerie gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"I don't know, Jessica does look oddly familiar, though," Freddie stated as he rubbed his chin.

"Maybe you've seen her somewhere," Jake suggested. "If she's so familiar, perhaps you've met her."

"No, I never forget a face." Jessica raised her eyebrow and Freddie took out his wallet. He found a picture of Sam and held it up. "Hmm, if my eyes deceive me, I'd almost think you were related to her…"

"What?!" Jessica thought as her eyes widened. Her heartbeat accelerated as she quickly hurried over to Freddie and looked at the picture in his hands. Her jaw dropped and she found herself staring at an image that she knew all to well from her past and her dreams. This person, Sam Puckett, was Jackie Trent. Her voice lowered to a whisper and the name Jackie escaped her lips. Shane could see the look in her eyes, he smiled and walked over.

"What is it, Jessica?" Shane asked as he placed his hand on the small of her back.

"J…Sam, where does she live?"

"Not far from here," Freddie replied. "She lives on 828 Sylvester Avenue." Jessica took Shane's hand and started to squeeze it.

"Shane, will you come with me? This…this is my sister…I think it is at least." Freddie and the others raised their eyebrows and leaned back in surprise, they didn't think Sam had a sister. It all made sense to her, why else would Sam not want people to use her? She had been used by Jessica in hopes that she wouldn't tell anyone what happened. It wasn't something that Jessica was proud of, but it was something she had to live with for the rest of her life, killing another human being. Jerry, if he ever found her, he was never going to let her forget. "Freddie, is Sam at her house?"

"Yes, she should be decorating the tree with her mom."

"Thank you!" Jessica quickly pulled on Shane's arm and ran with him out of the smoothie shop. "Shane, this is it, I can feel it!"

"You're positive? I don't want you to get your hopes built so high and have them turned out false…"

"No, it's her."

"Then I'm going to support you through this."

"Thank you."

-NEW SCENE-

"Mom, the why didn't we put up the tree a week ago?" Sam asked while leaning against the wall. She was staring at the tree that they just put up, they needed to decorate it. "Instead, we're putting it up a week before Christmas." She knew the reason, it was just because her mom had always put off putting up the tree until later into the season. It was fine, Sarah was always depressed, and she had good reason to be. Her own daughter killed a woman and then blamed her for it. Even still, Sarah wanted to see Jessica all these years, she was worried that she'd start to go insane if she didn't.

"Let's just get this tree decorated, you know David is going to be back soon, I want to have as much done as I can." Sarah replied. Sam smiled and nodded her head in response. David was Sarah's fiancé, and a great man in Sam's book.

"Mom, do you…do you ever wonder what Christmas would be like if maybe…" Sam looked toward the ground and Sarah turned to look at her. She frowned and knelt down to give her a hug. Sam closed her eyes and frowned, she was angry at her sister, but at the same time, she wanted her sister. She wanted the whole family to be there. Every Christmas, she wanted to see Jessica, but it was impossible. "Mom, I miss her. How can I be so angry at someone and miss them at the same time?"

"Because she's your sister, and no matter what she did, your heart can't allow you not to want her near." Sarah turned toward the Christmas tree and smiled. "You know, every Christmas, I can't help but to miss her. I can't help but wish she were here." Sam could agree there, it was near Christmas when Jessica was taken away. They still had presents that Jessica never opened. "Every year those gifts to her sit there, but I don't know why, I have this feeling that maybe…maybe this year will be different."

"Wishful thinking, Mom…every year has been the same. We might miss her, but we'll never see her. Especially not since we're in the witness protection program…I didn't think the Elliot family would hunt us down, you know."

"Sam…I want my baby…" Sarah closed her eyes and Sam gave her mom a hug. "I just want to hold her in my arms again, I want to tell her it'll be all right. I want her to know that I still love her, she's still my baby."

"I know mom…I know…can we try to focus on decorating the tree? It'll probably be hard like every year, but at least we can get our minds off of other things…" Sarah nodded and moved toward a box. The door opened and Sarah looked over to see David smiling and walking over to them.

"Hey, I got a raise and a promotion at work!" David said while holding his arms out wide. Sam grinned and Sarah let out a pleased gasp.

"That's amazing!" Sarah exclaimed. She hugged David, and Sam joined in. He smiled and wrapped his arms around them.

Outside of the house, Jessica was watching through the window. She and Shane were checking to see how things were. "It's really her, Shane."

"You think so?" Shane asked with a smile, pleased that Jessica would be getting her Christmas wish. Jessica watched as the three hugged, she so desperately wanted to be a part of that hug. Her heart ached and pounded, she could feel the sweat running down her body. This was it, this was her family. Or maybe they didn't want her, maybe they hated her. She wasn't sure, all she knew was she had to talk to them, no matter how nervous or scared she was. Did they even know she'd been released? Probably, but it was probably impossible for them to see her.

"Shane, I'm too scared…what if they don't want me?"

"Come on Jessica, they're your family!" Shane gave Jessica a hug and smiled as he gazed into her eyes. "Of course they want you back! I'm going to knock on the door and tell them that this is going to be the greatest Christmas for everyone!" Shane looked over to see Megan walking toward them, she smiled and crossed her arms over.

"Freddie mentioned you were here," Megan stated. She pointed to a car that was now parked alongside the curb, Freddie was inside. He got out and smirked.

"Next time you need a lift, just tell me," Freddie said while walking toward the group. "If Sam's your sister, she's going to want to see you again, I'm sure of it."

"I-I don't know," Jessica replied. "I mean, I did something horrible, she should hate me."

"Who says?" A voice asked. Jessica gasped and her eyes widened, she slowly turned around and saw Sam standing on the front porch with her arms crossed. "I heard a commotion outside…Jessica, is it really you?"

"Yes." Sam smiled a tearful smile and ran toward her sister, hugging her close and surprising her.

"Oh god, I can't believe it's true! Our attorney called and said you'd been released, but we weren't allowed to find you because of the Elliot's."

"You mean…you want me back?" Sam smiled and took a slight step back, she couldn't be happier at that moment.

"What you did, sure I may be angry, but it's forgivable. Besides, it's Christmas…the family can be whole again." Jessica smiled as Sam quickly ran back in the house. She looked toward the others and saw them smiling at her. Soon, Sam ran back out with Sarah and David, tears were in Sarah's eyes.

"I can't believe it, it's true," Sarah said in a quiet voice. "Christmas miracles really do happen…my baby has come back!" Sarah ran forward and embraced Jessica, sobbing with joy. Sam joined in the hug, she didn't care if Jessica had done something bad, she was her sister and she loved her. "My baby…my baby…my baby…" David smiled and crossed his arms, he knew all about Jessica, and was thankful that his fiancé and Sam had been reunited. Sam looked at him and gestured for him to join in the hug, so he did.

"Mommy, I killed an old woman…I'm a criminal," Jessica said through choked sobs. She still couldn't believe Sam and Sarah were so accepting of her. "I had to be reminded constantly by Jerry Elliot in prison about how bad I was, and how worthless I was. I should be dead."

"I don't care who Jerry Elliot is, it isn't important right now honey. It's okay, you're not a criminal. You were a child, you didn't know what you were doing."

"Mommy, Jerry Elliot beat me up in prison, all the time. The guards let him. He wanted to mark a large 'E' on my back once…he was about to…he tied me down and had his knife, he was going to do it. He wanted it to be known that an Elliot marked a Trent or something…I was scared in prison, I don't want to go back!" Jessica sobbed and Sarah slowly ran her hand through her hair, caressing her gently.

"It's okay, it's okay. You're never going back, never. We're going to be a family again." David took a step back and smiled.

"If you want, I'll call Grissom, that was his name right?"

"Yes, let him know…my baby has come back." Though not even Grissom knew that Sarah was Mrs. Trent, he would when they called him up. David nodded and dialed the phone, there would be a lot of stuff to get done, but fortunately everything would be done by the holidays. After a few more minutes of silent sobbing and David talking on the phone, he hung up and looked toward the girls.

"What do you say we go in and grab some hot chocolate and finish decorating this tree?" The group nodded and everyone entered the house. Freddie and Shane forgot their rivalries for that moment and helped to start a fire in the fireplace, not competing over a thing.

Jonah and Valerie had been called over, as did Carly and Jake, so they were all spending the day together. Megan was talking to Carly about a guy she met, one named Chase. She said he was really cute and interesting to talk to. Carly went on to talk about a guy named Connor and how she would like to go on a date with him. Jonah and Valerie ended up helping to put decorations on the tree while Sam snuck the mistletoe into the kitchen and hung it on the ceiling, tricking Freddie into having to give her a kiss.

As time went on, the only thing left to do was put the angel on the tree. Everyone stood around the tree and Sam handed Jessica the angel. "Hey, I usually have to do this every year, but why don't you put it up this year?" Sam asked, a gleam in her eye. Jessica smiled and nodded as she climbed the step ladder and reached up, setting the angel on the very top of the Christmas tree. David smirked and pulled a camera from his desk.

"Hey guys, how about we take a picture, everyone finally together!" David called out. Sam, Jessica, and Sarah all nodded and stood in front of the tree as David held up the camera. "Ah, there's just something missing here, but I'm not sure what."

"Well I'm the technical genius here," Freddie said as he took the camera. "I have to say, it's not the camera, and it isn't the beauty the camera is on, but it's the fact that the family still isn't complete. Now get in there, sir." David chuckled and stepped next to Sarah. Sam and Jessica stood in front of them, Sam had her arm draped around Jessica's shoulder while Sarah stood in between the two girls and behind, her hands on both their shoulders. All four smiled at the picture, though Jessica could use a bigger smile.

"Hey Jessica," Megan said as she crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side, grinning. "It looks like you got what you wanted for Christmas."

"I think they all did…" Freddie looked from the camera and chuckled, it was true. They all got what they wanted most of all for Christmas. Time to be with the family and the people they loved, and that was what Christmas was really about.

"Yep, you got your family." Jessica grinned and Freddie flashed the camera. Then the pictures started up. Jessica and Sam had a picture done together, all the couples took pictures, all of the best friends took pictures, and at some point of time, they even made Shane and Freddie take a picture together. Freddie then put the automatic snapshot on and everyone moved in front of the camera, all of them felt complete. At least for Sam, Jessica, and Sarah, they felt as though they were truly whole. "Okay, five seconds, say Merry Christmas and grin!" Sam and Jessica both put bunny ears behind each other's head and grinned widely as everyone called out to the camera.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

I hope you enjoyed that! Seemed a bit emotional in the end, but that's fine by me. Let me know what you thought.