Disclaimer: I don't own X-men Evolution blah blah blah! I just had this random thought through my head. Hey, even mutant teenagers have problems!
The Problem With Pimples
"AGGGGHH!" A bloodcurdling scream came from Pietro's room. Everyone jumped out of their beds and raced out into the halls.
"What's all the racket yo?" Todd hopped out.
"What's going on?" Tabitha shouted.
"Are we under attack or something?" Fred yelped.
"It came from Pietro's room!" Lance shouted. He pounded on the door. "Pietro! You okay?"
"No I'm not…I'm not okay," Pietro moaned through the door. "It's horrible! It's horrible!"
"What? What's wrong?" Lance asked. "Let us in!"
"No I can't it's too horrible!" Pietro whimpered.
"Tabby, blow it!" Lance ordered. Tabitha did so. They ran inside. Pietro was covering his face on the floor. "Lance come on, what happened? What's wrong?"
"This!" Pietro sobbed and pointed to his forehead. A small red bump protruded from it. "I was getting ready to do my morning yoga and I saw this monstrosity ruining my beautiful face!"
They all looked at Pietro for a full minute. "I'm going back to bed," Todd grumbled.
"Man I thought the X-Geeks were at the door the way he was screaming," Fred went back to his room.
"Yeah we should have known it was one of his hysterics!" Lance followed them. "It's five in the morning. It is way too early for me to deal with you!"
"Just put some Clearasil on it and it will be fine," Tabitha yawned. "Stupid little drama freak."
"I am not being a drama freak!" Pietro snapped.
"Yes you are!" Lance snapped. "Go back to sleep!"
"I can't sleep!" Pietro snapped. "This thing is throwing my aura way off balance! How can I focus on my chi with this?"
"If you don't shut up I am gonna focus my fist on your face!" Todd snapped.
"I'll hold him down for you," Fred offered.
"All those in favor of duct-taping Pietro to a tree if he keeps complaining about his stupid pimple say aye!" Lance groaned.
"AYE!" Everyone but Pietro replied.
"Fine," Pietro folded his arms and made a face. "I'll just suffer in silence!"
"That will be a first," Lance flopped back into bed.
To everyone's surprise, Pietro didn't say anything more. At least until breakfast.
"Look at me," Pietro moaned holding a mirror in one hand. "I'm hideous!"
"Tell us something we don't know," Fred rolled his eyes.
"I'm serious!" Pietro snapped. "What am I gonna do?"
"Who do we look like? Fashion consultants?" Lance asked.
"Come on guys you gotta help me!" Pietro pleaded.
"Pietro unless that pimple starts shooting death rays, we don't care!" Todd snapped.
"Hey maybe it will mutate and turn into a horn," Fred suggested.
"We could call him 'Unicorn Boy'," Tabitha picked at her cereal.
"I don't wanna be a Unicorn Boy!" Pietro whined.
"Why not?" Todd asked. "You're certainly horn-"
"Okay!" Lance shouted. "That's enough! Stop talking about it while I still have an appetite!"
"Yeah it's not like nobody else has ever gotten a pimple before," Tabitha said.
"I haven't," Todd spoke.
They all looked at him. "It's the slime," Todd explained. "It's some kind of natural pimple fighter. I think. Once a week I just use my tongue to lick my face and…"
"Okay there goes my appetite!" Lance pushed away his cereal.
"Thanks a lot Pietro," Fred groaned. "Now I'm gonna have that image in my head for the rest of the day!"
"Nobody cares about me," Pietro put the mirror away and folded his arms.
"Oh calm down Speedy. You can borrow some of my makeup to hide it," Tabitha told him.
"Really?" Pietro brightened. "Thanks Tabby!"
They both left the table. "Should we be at all concerned that he's putting on makeup?" Todd asked.
"Why should we?" Fred shrugged. "It's not like he hasn't done it before."
For the school day they were all spared the agony of Pietro's pimple problem. Until they got home. Lance went upstairs to wash up and found Pietro at the mirror. He couldn't believe what he saw Pietro doing.
"You're putting toothpaste on it?" Lance stared. "Okay…"
"Hey," Pietro said. "Don't knock it! It's supposed to help clear the toxins! Ouch! But it does burn a little."
"What's he doing now?" Fred asked.
"Putting toothpaste on his zit," Lance explained.
"Why don't you just pop that sucker?" Fred asked. "Here I'll help you."
"Get away from me!" Pietro waved his arms. "That will leave a scar!"
"It will not!" Fred said.
"Will too so don't touch me!" Pietro fumed and slammed the door in their faces.
"Touchy touchy," Fred put his hands on his hips.
"I wonder if there's anywhere else I can live?" Lance muttered to himself.
Two hours later another scream came from the bathroom. Todd hopped by and leaned against the door. He knocked on it. "Lemmie guess, the toothpaste didn't work?" He asked.
"No it didn't!" Pietro wailed miserably. "And worse!"
"What?" Todd asked.
"Are you alone? I can't bear to have anyone else see me like this!"
"Yes I am. Open up Quickie! Whoa!"
Pietro looked miserable. In addition to the pimple on his forehead he now had a huge one on his right cheek.
"Whoa that is one big zit yo!" Todd marveled.
"How could fate curse me so?" Pietro wailed.
"Fate and the two dozen bags of potato chips you had for lunch," Todd shook his head. "That's another reason I eat insects. All the crunch, no side effects."
"Oh what do I do? What do I do?" Pietro howled. "I can't go to school looking like this? What do I do Toad?"
"Well," Todd said. "There's always my solution."
"What is it? I'm desperate!"
"Now hold still," Todd readied his tongue. "A few good licks and…"
"I am not THAT desperate!" Pietro snapped.
"Fine," Todd shrugged. "Go to school looking like the moon with those craters. What do I care."
"Okay fine!" Pietro gave in. "But do you have to use your tongue? Can't you just…I don't believe I'm saying this…slime me?"
"I could, but it's not as effective for some reason," Todd shrugged. "Don't worry, it's not like I can taste it or anything. I put enough slime on my tongue as a barrier so I won't touch your skin. You'll hardly feel it."
"Fine!" Pietro sat down on the toilet seat. "But if this turns my skin green…"
"It won't trust me," Todd smiled.
"I don't,' Pietro winced. "I can't believe I'm doing this."
Just as Todd flicked his tongue on Pietro's cheek Tabitha walked in. "Is this a bad time?" She asked. "Or do you two wanna be alone?"
"It's not what you think!" Pietro protested.
"You mean he's not sliming you to get rid of those zits?" she asked.
"Oh well in that case it is what you think," Pietro rolled his eyes.
"You okay Speedy?" Tabitha asked. "You look a little green."
"AGGGHHH!" Pietro screamed as Todd hopped away laughing. "YOU ARE SO DEAD TOAD!"
Tabitha restrained him. "Aww, but I bet you'll look so cute in the color green!"
"TOAD YOU ARE DEAD! YOU ARE SO …You really think so?" He asked.
"Nah I'm just yanking your chain," She laughed at him.
"IT'S OFFICIAL!" Pietro shouted. "CALL THE FUNERAL PARLOR! TODAY IS THE DAY THE TOAD DIES!"
Todd laughed as he hid in Fred's room. "I told you he'd do it! You owe me five bucks and lunch for a week!" He told his friend. "Not to mention protecting me from the wrath of Pietro the Human Pimple."
"It's worth it," Fred held his sides. "It's worth it!"