It had been an average enough morning.

Shino had awoken to a sunny Saturday morning, his kikaichu humming happily. He felt ready to seize the day. It was a much-deserved day off, and Shino was going to do some intense gardening. He was excited, which to everyone else's eyes he only appeared to be stoic.

He went to the kitchen for a balanced breakfast. Instead he found a middle aged Yamanaka making breakfast and singing along to the radio.

Wearing Shino's father's bathrobe.

Shino decided to brush this detail off. He sat at the table patiently.

"Good morning." He finally said.

The man looked up. "Hey, Shino." He went back to making breakfast.

Shino had his hands folded on the table.

"You're Ino Yamanaka's dad, right?"

Inoichi nodded. "Yup."

Shino nodded. After a minute or so Inoichi gave Shino some of what he'd been making.

"You're dad had to go to a clan meeting. He'll be back later."

As if that would magically explain why INOICHI YAMANAKA WAS WEARING HIS FATHER'S BATHROBE.

Shino sighed and adjusted his glasses. He really couldn't miss a detail.

"Did you and my father engage in homosexual coitus last night?"

Inoichi nearly choked on his food, reduced to a coughing and sputtering mess.

Shino took that as a yes.

"Why?" He asked calmly.

Inoichi looked up. "Uhh...well...we've been friends for a long time...and the divorce..." Inoichi shrugged and chuckled nervously. "It kinda just happened."

"Nothing kinda just happens with the Aburame. We plan everything down to the last detail, coldly, logically, and it is never spontaneous. Now I'm sure you felt it kinda just happened, but my dad..." Shino froze in that train of thought. "My dad isn't gay. He loved my mom."

Inoichi nodded. "He still does, Shino. He's not going to stop loving her because of what happened. And people don't have to be just gay or straight. There's a lot of in between."

Shino gripped the sides of the chair. "Shut up."

Inoichi paused looking at Shino. "I'm sorry, we were going to tell you today, but the meeting was only announced this morning, and..."

"Shut up." Shino said a little louder.

Inoichi stopped. He stood up. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I need you to leave. You're trespassing on Aburame land. As the future clan leader it is my duty to protect the secrets of the Aburame clan." Shino stood, kikaichu crawling out of the hole in his cheek.

Inoichi put his hands up. "Shino. I'm not above using mind jutsu on you. I'm an invited guest here, by your dad."

Shino put his hands out, kikaichu swarming out of his sleeves. "I don't believe you."

"Shino." Shino heard a voice that made him pull back his kikaichu. He turned around to see his father scowling at him from the doorway.

"I do not appreciate you attacking guests, Shino."

"He told me lies about you engaging in homosexual coitus with him."

Shibi paused. "Homosexual coitus?" An eyebrow arched.

Inoichi snorted. "He used that word on me, too man. Kids are so weird..." He chuckled.

Shibi snorted what many people did not realize was the Aburame laugh. "Alright then, Shino. I'm going to rephrase this: I do not appreciate you attacking my boyfriend, Shino."

"What about mom?"

"It's been sixteen years, Shino. She would want me to be happy. She would want you to be happy too."

"What about the clan? You're the clan leader, you have a reputation, you have to have approval from other members."

"I spoke with the elders in the meeting this morning and everyone was fine with it."

Shino thought. "I can't have Ino Yamanaka as a step sister."

Inoichi folded his arms. "And why not?"

"She calls me cockroach and had everyone pretend I didn't exist for a week."

Inoichi looked shocked. "Ino really did that? That's awful..."

Shino can't help but find himself rambling, ashamed at this display of emotion and the fact that he was letting a girl manipulate him. "She once took all the food out of my lunch pale and replaced it with garbage." He's tattling and he hates himself for it.

"But that...that's so mean. My daughter is a good friend to Choji and Shikamaru."

Shino shrugged and began to leave. Shibi let him pass.

Inoichi frowned. "You're just gonna let him leave?"

Shibi turned to Inoichi. "That is the most emotion I've seen him display since he was a toddler. He needs space to process his emotions."

"He tried to attack me!"

"Because he's frightened." Inoichi sighed and came forward, playing with the zipper of Shibi's coat.

"Alright, I'll bite. What's he so afraid of?"

"He's afraid we won't spend as much time together if I have you in my life, that I'll abandon him. He's also afraid to face his own feelings that he has for...someone. A boy, probably."

Inoichi chuckled. "Maybe you should be the one with the mind jutsus." He took his hand.

Shibi gave another snort laugh. "Only in the case of my son. I've had to raise him myself."

Inoichi got close to him and nuzzled him. "Well, now I can help. I just wanna know where he got the term 'homosexual coitus'"

Another snort laugh. "Me too."