Unspoken Fears
Summary: For some time now, Shiori has been worried about her son. Will she live with her questions or demand answers? Optional H/K
Warning 1: Leaves room for light Hiei x Kurama shounen ai if you wish, but it is not required. Just to let you know upfront though, I have a companion piece in the works for this story which WILL contain (mild) shounen ai (if I ever manage to get around to it).
Warning 2: This fic is emotionally driven and contains absolutely no action.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters.
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Prologue: Concern
Everything is my fault. What kind of mother is the cause of her child's pain? Shuichi's eyes, engulfed by a hopeless resignation that was agonizing to witness, told the story clearest. When I first fell ill, it had been those eyes that led me to fear he would do something drastic, and though the sorrowful expression disappeared with my recovery, that's not where my worries ended.
Returning home early from my time in the hospital, I soon found myself walking toward my son's bedroom, even though he wouldn't be home from school for another hour. His room had always given off a comforting impression, as though a small part of Shuichi was held there until he returned. On that day, however, this was not the case.
Everything was in order. There were no clothes on the floor, nor wrinkles in the bedspread but…something was different. The room felt cold and unwelcoming. After a few moments, the answer became obvious. Even as a child, any plant he cared for thrived. Yet at the time, limp leaves and dried petals barely clung to their stems. All his plants were withering – the result of parched soil. He would not stop caring for them without reason. Of all the possible explanations, only one entered my thoughts; something horrible had happened. Shuichi was hurt and alone with no way to call for help.
I dialed the school's number with all the speed my trembling fingers could manage. After asking about my son, the secretary informed me that Shuichi's name was not on the list of unexcused absences. Feeling relieved and confident in Shuichi's safety, I had gone to my room for a short nap. Having been confined to a hospital bed for so long, a few minutes of panic was enough to wear me out.
I awoke much later than expected. In an instant, I was back on my feet, needing to see my son with my own eyes. Certain he would be asleep at this time of night, I tiptoed down the hall and knocked on the door just loud enough for him to hear if, for some odd reason, he was still awake. And as surprising as it was to hear his gentle voice at such a late hour, the strangest part was still to come. When I stepped into his room, the plants were no longer withering; to my astonishment, some were even blooming!
At the moment though, I let the thought drop and paid complete attention to my son. Shuichi's eyes no longer reflected the depression that had consumed his spirit for so long. Instead, they seemed to shine, not with the relief he had shown the previous week at the hospital on the night of my recovery, but with true joy and a trace of the mischievousness they had held when he was a child. Such a relief it was, that not until the next day did the strange turn around with the plants come back to mind.
I didn't want him to feel his privacy was being invading, as I had no reason to suspect him of any wrongdoing. Even so, I was determined to discover what had transpired in my absence to cause the changes I had witnessed. I started by closely monitoring Shuichi's actions and soon realized that he would be gone at odd times or awake in the middle of the night, not frequently, but often enough to make a pattern.
At first, I thought that perhaps I was reading too much into things – that he merely enjoys late night walks – but when all attempts to determine what he had been doing were met with half answers and clever evasions, my suspicions took root. His disappearances, the blooming plants, the verbal avoidance, and even the return of his mischievous expression for childhood combined to create an uneasy feeling that has only grown with time.
What could be so bad that he feels he must hide it from me? Something dangerous. Something terrible. That is the fear compelling my body for the second time tonight toward his room. This time I will be waiting when he returns.
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Author's Notes: More to come soon but in the meantime please let me know if something doesn't make sense to you. I've been working on this fic for so long, I think I've lost all perspective on such things.