First C.S.I. fic. Please let me know what you think. Story is based on my character, Jamey Kent, and her struggle with the past, the present and the future. Delving into the question of love and if it is possible to be in love with more than one man?

What happens when Jamey is confronted by her past? A past that threatens to ruin her future?

R&R...I live for the reviews!

Guilty Heart -Prologe

In another time, another life perhaps, Jamey Kent was sure that she'd done something horrible, decidedly disgusting, and most likely vile. If the way her life had turned out was any indication, she knew that it must have been bad. There were nights that she still dreamed about him, about the life that they had once shared and the love that had seemed unbreakable. She still woke up in a cold sweat, drenched in her own tears, as she relived that final moment again and again. And still, she wondered why her life had turned out the way it did. Karma. It certainly wasn't something to brag about or ignore.

The day that she left New York she thought that her heart had been hollowed out, crushed and forever frozen. She barely remembered the excruciatingly long and painful drive to Los Vegas with all of her worldly possessions in the trunk of her car. Time for a new life; a new start. Only it was something that she'd never wanted.

If she hadn't met Nick in the hallway of the lab after her interview with Gil Grissom, she knew that she wouldn't be in Vegas today. As she was walking down the hall she had accidentally collided with Stokes and sent him crashing to the floor. Feeling terrible and very awkward, Jamey had bent down to help him up. He'd introduced himself and asked her if she'd found an apartment yet. He'd been looking for a roommate and after a cup of coffee and a bagel at the next door coffee shop, he'd offered her his extra room. She'd gotten to know all of her co-workers and found them wonderful. Still, she couldn't forget the past and as hard as she tried she couldn't stop dying and start living. She'd burried it all deep inside, always dodging questions and never giving strait answers about her life in New York. If anyone had known what had driven her away they would surely hate her.

How time had flown since then. Living with Nick had proved to be the best decision she had made in a long time. They were perfectly suited to one another, always getting along and having mostly all of the same interests and hobbies. They watched movies, went out for dinner or just took a long walk around the neighborhood. The feelings that ran between them sometimes felt like so much more than friendship. But being too scared of getting involved again, Jamey had kept her distance through it all. The only thing that scared her was knowing that one day Nick would find another woman to spend time with, to cook dinner for, to love. The thought of him being with someone else bothered her to no end but she knew in her heart that he would never want to be with her if he knew the truth.

And yet, there was no more comfortable feeling for her then the feel of his arms around her when he picked her up off the couch to carry her into bed, or when he hugged her close because he knew that she needed it. Never asking any questions or probing into why she was so secretive about her past, Nick had become the only person she counted on.

Wanting to be loved and actually deserving someone so fine were too different things, she reasoned with herself time and time again.

So, why did it hurt so much to always be alone?

Chapter One

"Hey Jame, you want to go to Ozzie's for breakfast or what?"

Jamey looked up from her microscope and grinned at her roommate, not surprised in the least by his question. In the year and a half that she had been living with him she had never once seen him miss a meal. The guy had an eternal tapeworm. "Stokes, do you ever stop thinking about food?" She teased, as she slid the specimen underneath and leaned down to adjust the zoom lens.

"Come on, bugger..." She muttered to herself. "This thing never seems to work for me, you know."

"What's the problem, little lady?" He said in his most charming Texan accent, hoping to make her laugh. Anything to see the corners of her mouth turn up into a smirk and her deep green eyes sparkle. It only seemed like it had been the last six months that she'd actually let down her guard. For the first year that they lived together, all he knew about her was that she loved veggie pizza, hated meat and loved to have long bubble baths in the evenings. She'd never mentioned family. She'd never said and he'd never asked, knowing that even if he did ask she'd shoot him down.

What had started as a mutual arrangement to share an apartment had slowly turned into a friendship so deep that Nick had trouble at times separating the way he felt towards Jamey, as a roommate and how he felt about her as a single woman. She'd come to him on her first day in Las Vegas without a place to live, and truthfully, when he saw her for the first time he'd been smitten, but that had only been her looks at the time. The more time they spent together, the more he realized that she was the one person he wanted to be with. The trouble was that he had no idea how to bring up the subject with her.

While always outgoing and friendly, he had noticed, as had his other co-workers, that she didn't talk about her past. Nothing. All they knew was that she was from New York and that she had wanted a change. She'd packed her bags and drove her Eclipse all the way to Vegas. That had been a year and a half ago, and Nick still was no closer to finding out the reasons why. He'd asked a couple of times, why she'd left and the look of hurt on her face was too much to bear, so he'd dropped it.

In time he was confidant that he'd find out. The weird thing was that she did nothing outside of work that would suggest that she was interested in finding a boyfriend. No dates, no dinners, no men coming over to pick her up, and truthfully, that was the way Nick liked it. No competition, no horribly awkward moments of meeting a man who wanted to go out with her.

"Maybe I can help."

"You sure your stomach can handle the wait, Billy Ray?" She asked sarcastically, imitating his accent badly. Being a New Yorker through and through, she butchered the Texan accent, and she knew it. She always called him Billy Ray when he used his southern accent, even though she thought it was cute and definitely more than a little charming. Nick Stokes was a lady killer, plain and simple. It wasn't just his good looks, or his charm; it was his winning personality and his kind heart that had won her over. Jamey was sure that she'd never had a better friend in her whole life...well, at least not in the past five years anyhow. And the past was something that she had left in New York and didn't intend on dredging up ever again. There were just some things better left unsaid.

Nick came further into the room and folded his arms over his sculpted chest as he watched her doing what she did best; which was damn near about everything. He watched her as she adjusted the microscope again and again, trying to get it the way she wanted. He felt the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile as she watched her delicate brow arch and furrow as her exasperation grew and grew.

Her long dark hair, which he loved and longed to run his fingers through, lay in soft waves half way down her back. She was by far the best looking girl he'd ever met, and he'd met a lot of women—but it was her brain that stimulated him more than anything else had. She was smart. Damn smart and she knew her job inside and out. Her career as a C.S.I. had been the Departments good fortune.

He still couldn't believe that they were actually living together. Granted, it was platonic, which he wasn't crazy about, but he still considered himself a very lucky man to at least share an apartment with her. She was a lot of fun to be around and definitely looked great in her little tank tops and pajama bottoms that she was forever walking around in.

"I'll have you know that eating a balanced diet is essential to an all round healthy life, missy." He dead-panned.

"Thanks for the tip, Nick, but I really can't go right yet. Grissom needs this sample finished and if I go out for breakfast with you than it won't get done."

The disappointment was evident in his eyes, but he did well to cover it up. Unspoken words hung in the air around them, dancing, taunting, wanting to spill secrets of a thousand words, but words, nevertheless, that would change everything.

"That's okay." He lied. "I really only came by to see if you'd lend me ten bucks."

She snorted and looked up at him, her green eyes squinting, a half smile on her face. "I knew it! I knew that's what you were looking for, you louse!"

He came around the side of the workbench and put his arm around her shoulder, filling the space between them and making Jamey almost dizzy with the smell of his cologne. "Oh come on, baby, you know you love me."

"Nick–"

"Just ten bucks." He play-whined, pouting his bottom lip out toward her.

She fake elbowed him and gently pushed him away. "Okay, you can have ten bucks–but on one condition."

He raised his eyebrow suggestively. "And what would that be?"

Jamey rolled her eyes as she dug into her back pocket, looking for the money. "That you bring me back one of those yummy bagels with strawberry cream cheese." She stated firmly, holding the money in her fist, not about to let it go until he agreed to her terms.

"Deal." He said, and snatched the money from her hand. "Although I think you should be eating more, Jame. You've lost weight."

"Thanks mom. I'll eat later." She said, giving him one of her furious little looks, meant to say 'lay off'. She never could understand why he was so concerned by her eating habits. He never laid off and actually cooked breakfast for her most days. She knew she shouldn't complain, considering the obvious, but sometimes Nick just seemed to be overly concerned, like she had an eating disorder or something. He wouldn't be so friendly if he knew the truth about her, she thought to herself, as she gazed into his face.

"Uh, huh."

"What? I said I'll eat...when you bring me the bagle, Billy Ray." She said, turning back to her microscope. "Now hop to it. I gotta finish this."

Nick gave her a mock salute. "Yessss maaammmm."

"Oh, and Stokes?"

He turned back around from the doorway. "Ya?"

"Get your buns in gear or I'll make sure you never take another hot shower again."

"Oh darlin, you're breaking my heart." Was his reply as he walked out the door.

Jamey continued to observe her specimin but soon was too distracted to carry on.

"Ya, and what about mine?"

Are we going to continue? Do ya'll want to know who Jamey's heart was broken by in New York? Ah...a little secret: Review and you can have anything you want!