34. Home.

"Welcome home."
"I'm hom- oh right," I muttered, letting the door slam shut behind me, the noise echoing through the empty house. I missed his voice. Maybe I should have just stayed at work. There were no reminders there. Sighing I toed my shoes off, throwing my jacket and briefcase on the hall table, dropping my keys on top of it all. I glared at the empty living room, turning on the TV just so it would seem like there was someone else here. The quiet was killing me. Scenes of us together running through my head during those rare and hated moments of quiet. He was normally there to fill the silence. Grabbing beers from the fridge I tossed them onto the couch, shoving whatever leftovers I had in the microwave.
"Why the hell are you drinking beer before dinner? That'll ruin your appetite Grimm! I didn't spend all this time cooking just for you to complain it doesn't go with your beer!" the familiar warning echoed through my head as I slumped across the couch. It was something he always yelled at me for. Not anymore. I cracked open a can flicking through the channels till I found a somewhat decent movie. Oh god it was his favourite movie. I swore slamming my fist down on the beer can crushing it, beer seeping out the cracks onto the coffee table.
"When will you learn to control your temper? If you can watch TV peacefully you're going to have to find something else to entertain you!" With a growl I turned the TV off before things could get worse. I didn't want to remember him right now. I couldn't handle it. Tears burned my eyes but I refused to cry, instead I just opened another beer drinking half of it in one go. I leant my head against the back of the couch staring up at the ceiling, there was this silly black stain shaped like a rabbit up there. He used to sit right here and stare at it, making up little stories of how it came to be.
"The spirits were fighting, since they live here as well, that's why my keys always go missing, well they were fighting and the fox spirit smacked the rabbit spirit into the ceiling and that black mark is what was left behind." Fucking stupid stories.
"Fuck it all," I grunted, moving to collect my dinner. It looked burnt. I scowled tossing it in the bin. Nothing could compare to his cooking. The beer can followed shortly after, it wasn't helping me to forget him, just made the memories more clearer. Sighing I grabbed the bottle of scotch down from the cabinet, heading towards the bedroom. I stopped just outside the doorway, everything still the same as it was since he was last there. I hadn't been able to set foot in the room since then.
"I'm not feeling to well, I think I got a cold from getting caught in the rain, I'm going to stay in bed today. Go without me Grimmjow, tell me how it all goes when you come back. I love you Grimm."
I took a swig from the scotch, my throat burning. Maybe I could burn away all the memories as well.
"Why the fuck did ya 'ave to leave me?" I screamed, slumping against the wall.
"I'm sorry Grimmjow, we vowed to be together forever but I'm going first. I'll wait for you though, I love you so I'll wait for you."
Another mouthful of scotch. I smashed my fist into the wall, picture frame falling to the floor from the force of it. I picked it up running my fingers over his face, glass splinters forcing their way under my skin. Didn't matter though, I couldn't feel it anyway. He had taken all my feelings with him that day. I dropped the picture back on the floor drinking heavily from the bottle, spilling scotch all over myself. It didn't matter. I stumbled into the bathroom catching a glimpse of myself in the broken mirror. I looked haggard and tired. I looked dead. My skin was sallow and pale, dark circles surrounding my eyes. I hadn't been sleeping my at all my dreams plagued with him. It was all useless anyways. Screaming I pitched the scotch bottle at the wall, watching it shatter; ripping the mirror off the cabinet, that following seconds later. No matter how angry I got it wouldn't change anything.
"I miss you," I mumbled, slamming a hand against the now open cabinet, bandages and pill bottles falling everywhere. God if he were here he'd be scolding me about the mess.
"Jezzus Grimm! What the fuck happened it looked like this place was hit with a bomb, go to the gym you behemoth so I can clean this up in peace. Next time you get this angry take it outside."
I let out a hollow laugh collapsing to the floor. One of the pill bottles was digging into my leg, I picked it up getting ready to throw it when I caught sight of the label. Sleeping pills. Maybe if I could just sleep, without dreaming off him.
"Yeah, just a solid eight hours of nothing but sleep I can start to live again," I muttered, sounding like I was possessed. Maybe I was. That got me laughing. It echoed through the room, sounding utterly insane. I unscrewed the lid with that one thought going through my mind. If I could just get some sleep. I tipped them all out into my hand, swallowing about four in one go.
"It's not working, I need sleep now," I muttered, still laughing. "Maybe if I take more it will work faster!" Without a second thought I just started swallowing the pills one by one like candy till I started to feel drowsy. The rest slipped out of my hand as I fell to one side. Time seemed to slow down around me, it was getting hard to think. Ahhh, just what I wanted. Everything was going dark, I closed my eyes letting it take over. I could finally sleep.
"I love you Ichigo."
I yawned stretching as I stood up. The bathroom was clean, like my earlier tantrum hadn't happened. Frowning I left the room, the smell of bacon hitting me instantly. I blinked in shock when I entered the kitchen. He was standing there cooking like nothing had happened. I must of walked into something because all of a sudden he jumped turning to face me. He looked just as shocked as I did but then a sad smile crossed his face.
"Welcome home Grimm, I didn't think I'd be seeing you so soon." I ran to him pulling him into my arms tightly, burying my face in his hair scared to let him go.
"I'm home."