Such is Life
This story is for Isaiah, also known as the-last-one-sleeping on . (check their stories) Happy Birthday, my friend! I hope you read this and you liked it at a bit.
I do not own Fairy Tail.
Enjoy!
It was late in the afternoon, and many happy couples were walking in the park, young ones completely in love, old ones, fond of each other over the years, ones with little children.
Lucy Heartfilia and her girlfriend of two months were sitting on a bench, not as happily as one would wish them to be so. Anyone who knew them, thought their stormy relationship wouldn't last long. And it seemed they were going to be right.
"It's just not working out. We fight so much, and that's not right," her girlfriend obviously tried to soften the hard news.
"So what? We've always held on, always got through it. This is about Jake, isn't it?" Lucy asked, tears in the corners of her eyes, but still holding herself fairly well.
Her girlfriend looked reluctant. "You're right. I always had feelings for him. I think this – us – was just a phase."
"A phase? You have… I…" Lucy didn't know what to say. How much worse could it get, than to put your heart out there, to trust someone completely, and then to be proven wrong? To be forced to admit everyone else was right, and that love really had made you blind? Because Lucy had given her heart to this person.
"I'm sorry, Lucy. We can stay friends, right?"
"Please just leave," Lucy reacted in a voice that was not her own.
Her ex got the hint and walked away. Lucy looked at her back and noticed she didn't even seem down about it. What an idiot she was! For once more, she proved herself to be a fool in love. For once more, she was left alone, so alone.
She started to cry now, and stood up and walked away, too, in the opposite direction. She didn't care where she was going. It didn't matter, after all.
She walked past several happy-looking couples, with little kids, and old couples, relaxed and enjoying each other's company, and she couldn't bear it any longer. She kept on walking, just wanting to run away from her memories.
It was late in the afternoon, and many happy couples were walking in the park, young ones completely in love, old ones, fond of each other over the years, one with little children.
They all had no sense of purpose, no goal to fulfil. Among them, a young woman with the most beautiful scarlet hair was walking steadily, step after step. She, too, wasn't there for any specific reason. She had just felt like taking a walk. Erza Scarlet wasn't usually one to do useless things, but today was different. She had no clue why, but she was at peace here, walking among happy people, enjoying the warm summer air. Erza was the kind of person you expect to see alone. She was independent, strong and stubborn, not a woman to cross. But she was also kind and loving. Lately, she had been longing for someone to be there alongside her, someone she could talk with and cuddle and love.
Recently, she had learned that she had been lonely for quite a while, without even noticing. She had locked up her own heart in a suit of armour, so to speak. Friends had showed her that it was so much better to share that warmth, to open your soul. But friends, although wonderful, could only do so much, and she wanted someone that was there in the little hours, to hush her back to sleep after she awakened from another nightmare.
She remembered her past. It befell her sometimes, these dark events she had locked up, too, so deep she wouldn't remember.
But she was distracted from it when she noticed someone rushing by, tears in her eyes.
Lucy noticed her too, of course. Who could not with such a beautiful person? The girl was obviously deep in thought, brooding over something. It wasn't important to her, she just had to keep running.
A hand on her shoulder stopped her from taking another step. Half-heartedly hoping it was her ex-girlfriend, she turned around. A pale hand offered her a white handkerchief. Lucy looked up and looked into the most beautiful eyes of the entire world. They were so warm and kind…
The person with the uncommon scarlet hair smiled at her. "I promise I didn't use it."
Lucy let out a shaky laugh and accepted it gladly, drying her tears embarrassed. The person took her by the arm and led her to a deserted part, where they sat on the edge of some grey stone that was meant as art. It sat cold, but the small stone forced them to sit together closely, so the warmth of their touching arms made her relax.
She looked around. No human being was to be seen, but there were several birds and other animals; while they were sitting in silence, a duck with her babies in a neat row passed by. It was adorable. Trees covered this place, too, so shadow was cast over them and no human would think to come here.
"Are you alright?" the warm voice sounded almost familiar. She looked at that stranger, and suddenly it struck her: she was talking to an angel.
"Yeah, I'm okay." She sniffled a bit. The older woman put an arm around her shoulder, and her cheek against her forehead. She was comforting her greatly, although they had met barely minutes ago. There just was something around her, something that convinced Lucy her day would only get better.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.
"My girlfriend broke up with me to get back together with her ex," Lucy blurted out. "She said I was just a phase."
Erza nodded sympathetically, but said nothing. What could you say in such a case?
"Maybe it's for the best," Lucy continued. "I mean, I shouldn't have-" she didn't know how to finish her sentence.
The girl pulled back a bit to look at her. "Don't give yourself the fault. You were in love, weren't you?"
"I was," Lucy said.
"And don't listen to others if they say the girl was bad for you. They can't feel what you feel. Only you know what happened, and you should be the one to judge if you're better off without her. Alright?"
Lucy nodded. "You're about the same age as me. How come you're so wise?"
The girl shrugged. "I'm not wise. I'm just trying to survive, that's all." She smiled at her own words. "I guess I'm just in a wise mood."
Lucy laughed. "I'm Lucy."
"Erza. Nice to meet you, Lucy." The sound of her name made her dizzy. The world was in its right place now, she knew.
"Thanks for the handkerchief." Lucy said.
"No problem. But I guess you should repay me," Erza said thoughtfully. Then her face cleared up. "How about some coffee tomorrow? Are you free?"
"I'm free. Four o'clock? Do you know Millie's Diner?"
Erza's eyes widened. "I do. They make the best coffee there."
"Alright, it's a date." Lucy smiled happily. She looked into Erza's eyes and saw the confusion in them.
"I mean, not a date, but just a meeting?" Lucy said hastily. She hadn't meant to say the word date, especially not after her break-up.
"Date is fine." Erza said after a while of looking into her eyes.
"See you tomorrow." Lucy said cheerfully, waved a bit, and walked away. She looked back once and smiled again.
Erza felt incredibly lucky. Did that really just happen?
XoXoXoXo
Lucy waved at her from a small, round table at one of the windows. Erza walked further.
"Hey. How are you?"
"I'm good. And you?"
"Excellent, seeing the circumstances. So, Erza, tell me something about yourself."
Erza reddened a bit, not really one to talk about herself.
"Well, I'm nineteen years old, study Laws at the university and live not far from here, actually."
"Really? Me too! why haven't I seen you before?" Lucy asked intrigued.
"Well, I was busy with studies and fencing lately, but I've never seen you either. Until yesterday, that is."
Lucy smiled gratefully. "I'm happy I got to meet you."
Erza looked at the table, and responded softly. "Me too."
Lucy swallowed. She had to lighten the mood a bit again. "So, you fence, don't you? Where?"
"The National Fencing Team." Erza said nonchalantly.
Lucy's eyes widened. "Really?"
Erza shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal. I was thinking about going international, though. At this point, the competition isn't really a challenge."
Lucy was speechless. "You…"
Erza seemed embarrassed. "I can't help it."
"No, no, it's cool. Wow, that's really cool! Can I come and watch one of your fights?"
It didn't seem to comfort her, really. More like the opposite; Erza's blush spread to her whole face. "If you want to. But it's really boring, I have to wait long and stuff…"
Lucy grinned excitedly. "I'm totally in. When is your next match?"
"Uhh, in a week, I think. Are you serious?" she asked disbelieving.
"Yeah, why not? I always wanted to see it. Oh, can you teach me some moves?"
"You want to learn to fence?" Erza asked, her blush and surprise rising with the second.
"Yeah, it's awesome. I can't believe my luck. But no, would you be willing to?" She was serious. In her head, a sneaky plan was forming. Erza didn't have to know that she had been fencing since her eighth year…
They set a date and place, and talked for another hour about fencing and books and literature, about school and crazy professors and as time passed, Lucy could feel herself drawn to the girl more and more, with every little fact she got to know about her.
They had to part eventually, Erza had to train and Lucy visit her best friend, Levy.
"I can't believe it's so late. I'll see you in two days, then." Erza smiled cheerfully, but also a bit sad she had to say goodbye so soon.
Lucy put on her jacket, and they walked outside. She felt the irresistible temptation to hug her new friend, but Erza apparently had the same idea and pulled her against her strong and muscular body. Lucy smiled into the hug, closed her eyes and enjoyed Erza's scent.
"I'm honestly so happy to have met you." She whispered.
"Me, too." Lucy said back, and the arms retreated and Erza's warm brown eyes looked at her for a split second when she turned around and left, without looking back. Lucy felt a bit lost without her, waving and smiling.
XoXoXoXo
"Wait, wait, wait", Levy said, putting her book down as she heard Lucy's story. "So you met this girl yesterday?"
Lucy shifted a bit on her seat. "Yes. What of it?"
Levy looked at her with a pitying smile. Shaking her head knowingly, she sighed. "Lu-chan, you've been talking about her for an hour. You really like her, don't you?"
"Maybe. Yeah. Is that bad, so fast after the last one?" She said insecure.
"Well, some people think so, but I don't. You always fell in love so quickly, it's who you are. And I'm happy for you. If half of what you told me is true, then she's a really great person."
Levy was about to pick up her book again, they were supposed to study after all.
"But what if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she sees me as a friend?"
The amused look her petite friend sent her was a bit unsettling. "Chill. You know her for a day, and you're already worrying about what she's going to say? Shouldn't you move at a slower pace, because at this rate I'm going to buy a new dress."
"A new dress? What for?" Lucy asked confused. She really couldn't follow the blue-haired girl sometimes.
"For the marriage, duhh." Levy answered absentmindedly, turning a page and getting lost in another world.
Lucy groaned and put her head on the table.
Levy was right, though. The hour she spent with Erza was wonderful, but it wasn't enough to be sure of her feelings. She should take it slow, so it wouldn't turn out another fiasco.
A buzz in her pocket told her someone sent her a message.
Hey, Lucy, it's Erza here. Could you send me your address, so I can pick you up in two days? Xxx
Lucy's mind dazzled, those short words meant a lot. Erza was serious about this, and she sent three x's.
"What's going on? You look like you've… Wait, is that Erza?" Levy asked.
Lucy nodded and the other girl, curious, leaned over her shoulder. "Okay, don't mind anymore. She is sending three x's, she totally fancies you."
Lucy just smiled.
XoXoXoXo
Despite that piece of wise advice from her smartest and best friend, she still hesitated. Lucy knew for sure she had been in love with her ex, and the break-up wasn't half as painful as it would normally be. It happened so fast, and now she wasn't sure anymore. The blonde knew for sure that she felt something for Erza, but was it what she thought or what she hoped for? She felt flattered and comforted by the thought that somebody cared for her, even if they did not know her.
Maybe it was simply the fact that she longed for the company, the relationship that drove her to Erza. She wasn't born to be alone, maybe even less than others. That's why she decided they would take everything very slowly, even if it would agonize her.
But it seemed in vain. After Erza's first text and Lucy's answer, a hurricane of short messages and talking developed. It only stopped when Erza had practice or Lucy work – and it continued until deep in the night. Lucy couldn't stop the jumpy feeling in her chest every time she heard the buzz of her phone, she couldn't stop her smile when she read the text, even if it was just a short one.
Two days later, she fearfully awaited in front of her shared apartment. She was excited and smiling and so very smitten.
When, finally, a black motor cycle came driving around the corner, her heart stopped.
This can't be…
But indeed, it stopped right in front of her, and the woman on it took off her stylish red helmet and a cascade of gorgeous, burning crimson hair told her that her eyes didn't lie.
"But… What…", she could only sputter, as Erza smiled cockily to her.
"Hi, Lucy", she said in a sweet voice.
Blimey. Erza seemed like an entirely different person there, on that bike, that killer smile and bright eyes. The girl – no, woman – she met before had been sweet, caring and compassionate. In front of her stood a self-assured, strong woman. It was… sexy.
Lucy looked into those brown eyes and realized they were still the same. You can't change your eyes, she knew that. Erza was still compassionate and caring, but also reckless and daring.
Above all, Erza was someone who loved life.
"Lucy?" the thrilling voice awakened her.
"Yeah, hi, Erza." she said, still a little dreamy. This made the redhead even more perfect than she already was.
"Could you put this on? Oh, and I've got a leather jacket for you, it's obligatory." She said with a completely straight face.
Lucy hesitantly took the jacket. "You do know we're in the city, right? There are speed limits."
Erza put on her own helmet and grinned at her before clicking the barrier between them. "I know, I know. The trick is simply to be faster than the police are."
Lucy's yell was lost in the motor's roar.
It wasn't that bad, actually. They went fast, too fast according to the rule book, but not fast enough so they were in danger. So Erza does know a limit, Lucy thought. Or it just seemed that way because her reflexes were immensely sharp. She avoided cars, pedestrians and all sorts of dangerous objects without missing a beat. She drove elegant, almost, controlled and yet so cheerful. She never would've used the word to describe someone's driving style, but it was fitting. Lucy started to enjoy the ride more than she ever thought she would.
Until they reached the training hall. Lucy thought the obvious: Erza would take a nice, smooth turn and park at the side of the building. But instead of that, she drove head-on into the building, slipped and ended about two inches from the wall, one foot against the grey building. Lucy noticed with a knot in her stomach that there were several scorch marks on the ground and the wall even seemed a little bruised, if that's possible.
Erza pushed her vehicle a little further to the side and stepped off. She offered Lucy a hand, the latter still shaking from the near-death experience.
"Was that really necessary?" she asked, shivering once. As soon as she saw Erza's assuring brown eyes, she could relax again.
"Not really. You weren't in danger for even a split second, honestly." She said seriously. Lucy smiled and followed Erza inside the building.
It was huge. It wasn't just one gym or anything: it was an entire sports complex, complete with pool and fitness.
"Shall we go to the fencing department?" Erza asked Lucy, who was staring at the cafeteria and restaurant next to the huge shop.
"Alright. Who are you up against?" Lucy asked her as they stepped into a lift.
"Mary Dujardin. She's a French fencer, not that well, but it's just a friendly spar before the big tournament."
"Wait, doesn't her name mean…?"
"Yes, translated, it's 'Mary of the garden', her father is French, but her mother is English, which explains the first name. The spar is only in about two hours, so we've got plenty of time to learn you the basics."
Lucy smirked slightly when she heard that and accepted the sabre Erza handed her. Erza taught her the grip and a few starter poses and defence moves. It was ridiculously easy, but it had been a while since she had done it. Erza was a good teacher, a bit uneasy in her new role, but Lucy quickly remembered all the basics.
There was something unusual about her style, it wasn't quite the same as regular sabre-users, but she couldn't put her finger on it. During a small break, Erza grabbed two masks and offered one to her blonde partner.
"Care for a spar?" she asked teasingly. Lucy shrugged and accepted. She had been hoping for this since the beginning.
Right at the start, Lucy feinted. It was a move, often used to provoke a reaction from the other. Erza didn't fell for it, but waited patiently for Lucy to make a real move. Lucy had to smile, just because she knew Erza was frowning behind the mask. The redhead was undoubtedly trying to figure out what her plan was.
Lucy attacked, but Erza swiftly parried and riposted. Lucy parried again and their game was on the move. Lucy enjoyed it enormously, although it was clear from the start she was no match for Erza. The redhead was confused by her skill, but seemed to have realized Lucy had hidden her skills and didn't go easy on her. Lucy defended and attacked, and did everything possible not to get hit by the dancing sword of Erza.
Every move and counter seemed to provoke more intensity and concentration. At this moment, Lucy got to know Erza a hundred times better than any other way. The way she moved, how she reacted and acted, were so entirely hers and hers alone. They were dancing with each other, they were playing and teasing and laughing, and in that little dance, a million words were hiding. Then Erza lunged and missed her within an inch.
Suddenly, she realized what was so different about her style. While most fencers were trained to win a game and were careful to take risks, to put their own bodies on the wage, unless they were absolutely sure they could win, Erza did not. She fenced within the lines of the rule book, but just on the edge. She dodged and jumped and she took it so seriously, it was as if she was fencing for her life.
And that realization cost her the concentration she needed to hold the red fury off. The blade hit her on the shoulder, it was almost a gentle tap of a finger;
Stepping back, Erza took off her mask and her eyes shimmered with delight. She blushed slightly and was smiling, although Lucy had the feeling she was doing her best to look upset.
"How come you're such a good fencer?" she asked loudly.
Lucy smiled and shrugged. "I was taught by someone my father hired. He was very concerned about my safety."
"Really? You could go on the team with us." She said enthusiastically.
Lucy shook her head smiling. "I'm not that good. Besides, my interests lie elsewhere I find it fun and exciting, but not enough to go professional with it. Although I would love to watch you more."
"You haven't seen a real game of me yet." Erza said laughing.
"I like watching you." It came out before she knew and the red on her cheeks weren't from the fencing. Erza's seemed to have grown hotter, too but she sent Lucy a smile, so it was okay.
"Let's take a break, shall we?"
They walked over to the bench and both loosened their protective clothing and gloves. With a sigh, Lucy noticed her red hands.
"Do they hurt?" a gentle voice asked. Cool, soft hands took her hand and Erza blew softly on them.
"A bit. I'm not used to it anymore." She admitted.
"I see. Why have you stopped practising?" brown eyes looked into her soul and she couldn't stop herself from telling the truth.
"After my Mum died, father stopped paying the man he rented. So after a while there was no one left to teach me or to spar with. But I was very young, so I was really surprised I could still do it."
Erza smiled at her, letting her know that she appreciated Lucy telling this and she understood her, that she didn't pity her, but admired her for this small story. Funny what a simple smile can tell you.
"Of course, I knew all along that you could fence." She reacted haughtily.
"What? You're lying to me."
The door at the other side opened. A blonde, very pretty girl and in a white, protective outfit stepped in, followed by an older man with grey hair in suit and a referee, in a black costume.
Erza grinned at Lucy once more. She came closer, towards Lucy's ear. Her warm breath tickled her earlobe.
"Why did you think I picked the sabre?" And in a wave of red hair and strawberries, she left her behind to greet the newly arrived.
Lucy saw them talking and smiled, shaking her head. Erza had known about her abilities and she hadn't said anything? What that meant, was a vague idea in her mind. A happy one.
She looked at the other girl and thought her very pretty, with a born elegance Lucy had always lacked. It didn't take long for them to wrap up their conversation, and the man in suit stood back a little, while Erza, Mary and the referee took positions.
They began.
Another dance of attacks, ripostes and lunges followed. Somehow, Lucy didn't think much of the opponent's style. She looked so stiff, so fake compared to the fluency, the control of Erza. It was almost as if they had switched roles. Mary's elegance when she walked or talked, remained the same when she fenced; Erza's directness and simplicity – not in a bad way, not at all – disappeared completely. She was beautiful when she fenced.
It took a surprisingly long time to score the first point. Erza hit Mary on her shoulder, and the sword bowed surprisingly far, too far to be a sabre.
So that was Erza's little secret! While they had fought with sabre, now she was playing a game with an epée! She could fight with two styles. To be honest, it wouldn't surprise her if she could fight with all three styles. Yet she was on the exact same level with an epée. That was Erza's unique style. It enabled her to fight with a hundred types of swords, staying within the lines and rules and yet excel. Lucy realized this the moment Erza took off her helmet and bowed to Mary.
The game was over.
The blonde blinked once, trying to shake off the awe that had mastered her throughout the duel. She saw the two participants talk a bit, say goodbye. Mary didn't looked disappointed, to her surprise, but more excited and happy. Erza approached Lucy again, and she noticed, even more to her amazement, that the redhead hadn't even broken a sweat.
"That was amazing."
Erza shrugged. "It was okay. But I have the feeling I should train a bit more, I've been slacking off a little the last few days."
"Have I been bothering you too much?" Lucy asked teasingly. She did not expect the most adorable blush and a downward look.
"Perhaps."
The girl couldn't help but grin widely. Erza was just too cute.
"Shall I drive you home? Unless you want to do something else, but I need a shower and I feel a bit tired, actually."
"No, that's okay. I need one, too, to be honest."
Erza nodded and led her out of the complex building. "Were you surprised when you noticed we fought with epées? I saw you looking astonished."
Yet again, Lucy blinked before reacting. Had Erza been paying attention to her when she was fencing?
"Well, yes, I thought most fencers focused on one style, but then I realized you probably could fight with any sword. It's really amazing how you fight."
"Thanks, but it's really nothing special. I learnt it myself, when I needed the skill to survive." Her eyes darkened for a moment, before clearing up.
"But that's a story for another time, now I'll bring you home."
During the entire ride, Lucy wondered what those dark eyes were about.
XoXoXoXo
"Wait, wait, wait", Levy suddenly interjected her story about their fencing trip. It vaguely reminded her of a conversation barely held a week ago.
"Lu-chan, you've got to be kidding me. Beautiful, kind and caring, and now motorcycles, fencing and dark eyes. Is this the same person?"
Lucy sighed. Her distrusting friend had scored a point. "I know it sounds really odd, but I swear to you, it is the same person. She's all of these things, and more."
"I want to meet her." Levy said in a matter-of-factly tone. If Lucy had a decent parent, her name would be Levy.
"No problem. I'll text her. If she answers, at least." Her mood dropped a few points at that sudden reminder of the lack of contact these past few days.
"She hasn't responded to your texts?"
"No", Lucy said slightly grumpily. "Not for three days."
"And that's a lot, because I've got the distant idea you've been stalking her." Levy pointed out, as she put on her glasses again.
"I am not. I'm a bit worried, honestly."
"She's an adult. Maybe she's really busy or something." Levy tried to reason with her.
"Or maybe she's been kidnapped and they want a ransom, but they don't know who they should contact."
"And maybe she's fled the country because her dark past is haunting her. And she'll look at your happy pictures with you forever, because she'll never come back." The bookworm rolled her eyes.
"You think so?" Lucy said worried. "I think I'm going to check up on her."
Her blue-haired friend sighed, knowing there was no stopping Lucy. "Say hello to the aliens for me."
That suggestion made Lucy turn a hundred and eighty degrees around, grabbing the wrist of the petite girl.
"There's no way I'm going alone. You're going down, I mean, with me." She said resolutely. Levy, accepting her fate, put her books in her heavy bag and followed.
Leading her friend through the narrow alleys and shortcuts, Levy had trouble keeping up with the harsh pace.
"How do you know where she lives anyway?" she asked, trying to slow Lucy down. She didn't even look back as she answered.
"She gave me her address and a route description, because it was so close. We were planning on watching a film or something at her place."
Levy rolled with her eyes. "You know, if I didn't know you this well, I'd say you went way too fast. This isn't normal, but you haven't ever been."
Lucy flashed her a smile. "Your bad luck, but you do know me. What do you have to say now?"
"It surprises me you haven't kissed yet. Your attraction is surprisingly non-sexual." Levy said dryly.
"Thanks. Oh, we're here."
They stood in front of a gigantic building. It was hard to describe, but the best she could make of it, was –
"It doesn't belong in the city." Levy commented, the exact same phrase sprung into her head.
"It's so… cosy." Lucy added.
And it looked like a place where Erza would live. An all-girls dormitory.
They walked in and entered a big lobby with cosy armchairs, a counter with a grumpy looking granny and a round staircase, decorated with flowers. It was too nice.
"What do you want?" the grumpy granny asked them.
"We, err, we were wondering if Erza Scarlet was present. I'd like to pay her a visit, since I haven't heard anything from her the last few days." Lucy said bravely.
"She has a visitor right now." The lady said shortly.
"Oh, I'll come back another time." The blonde said hastily and attempted to flee.
"Wait." She said. "How do you know Erza?"
The young woman fiddled with the edge of her blouse. "By accident. Erza, she, err, helped me with something and we became friends?"
She was sure the old woman didn't miss her tone at the end, nor her blush.
The old lady sighed. "Erza is bad news for you. Give it up. But I know you won't, not until you've seen it. Erza's in her rooms, normally. I'll call her," she said.
"That's just odd. What do you think, Levy? Levy?" but the blue-haired girl was nowhere to be seen. She probably fled.
One phone-call later, the blonde could take the stairs to the second storey, and was told to knock on 'any of the rooms'. She found it slightly suspicious, but oh well.
Lucy nervously knocked on the first door she saw. Nothing happened. Except that, half a minute later, an unfamiliar face appeared. The words of the strange woman shot through her mind again.
Blue hair, a red tattoo over his right eye, and sharply dressed. He was handsome and managed to look messy and sharp at the same time. A bad boy and a gentleman. Just like Erza, he seemed to have two entirely different sides that complemented each other. There was some sadness in his eyes, too.
Who was he? What was he doing at Erza's home?
"Can I help you?" he asked.
"I'm looking for Erza." Lucy said, growing more insecure with the minute. The fact that she and Erza were almost complete strangers, despite their talking and date, came to her with undeniable force.
"Oh, yes, she's in here. Come in." he smiled gently. "Are you a friend?"
Lucy nodded. "I'm Lucy." She shook his warm, dry hand.
"Jellal", he said calmly. "So you're Lucy…"
"Sorry?"
"Nothing, Erza mentioned you, but I didn't expect anyone. She was quite sick the last few days."
"Oh, so that's why she didn't answer. I was worried about her, so I decided to drop by."
"That's very kind of you. She's in her bedroom, the door on the right."
Lucy followed his instructions and knocked on the white door. This room seemed to be a kitchen, dining room and living room combined. It was so homey and warm, just like Erza. Strangely enough, it was about the size of an entire apartment. It couldn't be that Erza owned all these apartments?
"Come in." a cheerful voice said.
Walking in, she spotted the redhead lying in bed, with red cheeks and eyes closed.
"You don't have to knock before coming in, you know. I'm used to you here now."
Lucy smiled. "I'm glad."
Erza's eyes shot open and widened at the blonde in front of her. "Lucy! How did you end up here?"
"I was worried. You haven't been answering my texts. Or calls."
Erza flipped her hair with her hand and pouted a bit. "Sorry about that, I just forgot a bit about my phone. I had some rare infection, so I had to stay in bed for a couple day, but I'm all better now."
"And you're still lazing around, aren't you?" Lucy smiled.
Erza shifted and made a spot free for her. "To be completely honest, I've stretched it out a bit, so he'd stay some more. I don't often see him, you know."
"Jellal, you mean?"
Erza nodded. "He's an old friend, but due to his work, I don't see him often." She looked sorrowful for a moment.
Lucy touched the tip of her nose for a moment and smiled when Erza blew at it, frowning playfully. "At least you have me."
"That is true. For what it's worth, then."
"Hey!" Lucy said indignantly, and she slapped Erza on her arm.
"You can't hurt a sick person, that's just evil!"
"You're evil, so you deserve it." Erza laughed out loud, and when Lucy still looked angry, she poked her softly.
"Lucy, come on. I was just kidding." Her smiling, all too cute face made Lucy laugh, too.
A small poke in her side made her squirm and dodge Erza. A little hunt, one that Lucy would lose without a doubt, ensued. Just when she wouldn't be able to resist the tickling of Erza's playful fingers anymore, a soft knock disturbed them.
"Come in", Erza said, still cheerful. As expected, it was Jellal with a tray of tea and cookies in his hands.
Lucy, slightly embarrassed, created some distance between the two of them. Jellal didn't seem phased by the tangled sheets or red faces. He put the tray on a table and made – to Lucy's horror – three cups ready.
"I'm very sorry, Lucy," he began as he handed them both a cup. "Normally, I wouldn't dream to disturb two girls talking and such, but I'm afraid Erza and I are a bit short on time. Do you mind my presence?" he asked.
Although she knew his question was sincere and he would leave when she confirmed, how could she?
"Oh, of course not. I was worried I was the one disturbing." She laughed it off.
"Not at all, you're welcome any time here, Lucy." Erza said warmly.
"So," Jellal put his cup down, "How did you meet? Erza only told me she met this new friend."
"Oh, err, can I tell him about it? I'm not sure if…" Erza asked Lucy.
"I don't mind." She said shortly.
As Erza began a story she knew inside out, because she had gone through the events a couple of thousand times, Lucy's sharp eyes noticed the little things between Erza and Jellal. There was this saying, something her Mum taught her before she passed away. You can see a man's in love through his eyes, a woman shows it with her smile. Lucy still believed those words, and, following his eyes wandering over her figure and looking back and undoubtedly drowning in Erza's beautiful ones, she knew that he was in love with her.
And her heart sank deep, realizing that Erza was in love with him, too. She had comprehended their relationship wrongly from the start.
"…my little sister…" that fragment told it all. "Right, Lucy? Lucy?"
One terrible moment long, Lucy thought she would say nothing and just walk away, but stopped herself with all her willpower.
"Right. I'm glad to have bumped into you." She smiled at Erza, but didn't look into those deep eyes. Erza shot her a short, worried look, but her attention was quickly distracted as Jellal stood up.
"Well, it was lovely meeting you, Lucy-san, but other duties are waiting for me. I have spent more time here than I could afford, but I'm happy I came to stop by. I trust you'll take care of her, Lucy-san?"
Lucy nodded. Inside, her feelings were causing great turmoil, but for now, she would keep them bottled up. Until she was home.
He approached Erza from the other side of the bed, leaned forward, cupped her cheek and gave a gentle kiss on the other. Lucy felt like a terribly rude intruder and sat there helplessly as he whispered something in her ear, upon which she smiled. He left the room in complete silence.
If she was Erza, Lucy had to admit, she would have been the exact same. He was handsome, mysterious, intelligent, polite and smiled a lot. He seemed perfect.
"Are you alright, Lucy? You're looking a bit odd, to be honest." A voice ripped her from her jealous thoughts. She shouldn't be jealous, at all. The only thing she had confirmed now, was that Erza certainly was not attracted to girls and had an almost-boyfriend.
"No, I'm fine. Just wondering how come I've never heard of him?" she managed to ask, her throat seemed glued tight.
"Oh." Erza carefully put down her cup. "He's rarely around, so it's been ages since I saw him myself. It's a real coincidence you two met."
She took a deep breath. "We were childhood friends. Then something happened and a lot of people were upset because of him, so we've only been keeping brief contacts ever since. I… my feelings for him haven't changed, however. Lately, I've been asking myself if it is right to keep an unofficial relationship like this. It's not really honest, is it?"
Lucy sighed and pat her shoulder. "Why don't you talk about it with him?"
"I've tried, but every time I see him, all I want is to enjoy our time. In those moments, I completely forget to worry about anything."
"You really are in love with him, aren't you?" Lucy smiled wryly.
Erza shrugged and said nothing. They sat there in silence for a while, and Erza closed her eyes. Lucy watched her fall asleep and couldn't stop the hurt from reaching her heart. Allowing the pain, a single tear fell on the ground.
XoXoXo
Their contact was a bit limited after that, but they stayed in touch, texted just a bit too much and learnt even more about the other. It was heaven and hell for Lucy. Her secret love didn't waver, but seemed to light her heart more with every text and every meeting they had. Even if it was unrequited, Lucy still slowly continued to fall for her. She had known since their first meeting and accepted it, because how could she stop her heart?
Jellal was approved, she decided. He was decent and charming and mostly what every girl wants.
Which was exactly what she told Erza when the redhead asked for her advice.
They were sitting in another room, it was kind of a sitting-room and quite fancy and stylish, to be honest. For a brief moment, she wondered how Erza was so rich.
"I don't know what I should do anymore. I mean, I'm in love with him and he's in love with me, and we're unofficially together."
"He is pretty much what every girl dreams of." Lucy admitted, feeling a bit out of place.
"I don't care about every girl. I don't know if that's enough."
"Love overcomes all." Lucy cited, she felt that Erza had to let her emotions out and reach a conclusion on her – it was often that way with her and Levy.
"What am I even thinking? It is Jellal. I don't know what to do anymore. My head is a mess." Erza sighed and went with a hand through her hair.
"Maybe you should talk about it with him? I mean, every relationship stops at some point, that's where you've got to talk it out and compromise so you can go further – or stop altogether, right?"
"Right. That was some good advice, Lucy. Thanks." Erza smiled at her and deep down, Lucy died a little.
"It's nothing. I'm glad I could help out."
"But I'm distracting you with all my insignificant problems, what brought you here? Not that I don't enjoy your visits." Erza leaned back in her seat and looked at her expectantly.
"Well, I've got this dilemma, you see. I'm in love with someone."
Erza shot forward and grinned. "Really? That's great. Do I know her?"
"That's not the important part." Lucy avoided the question. "Problem: she's not interested in me."
Erza frowned. "How can you be so sure?"
"She's in love with a boy."
"Ohh. I'm sorry, Lucy. Are you okay?"
"Good enough. But the thing is, we're good friends, and I'm afraid that I'll stay in love with her, so to speak, if we remain this close. At the same time, I don't want to lose her friendship."
"Hm. You've landed yourself into a complicated situation, Lucy." Erza said thoughtfully. "What would happen if you told her how you feel?"
Lucy shrugged. "How would you react when I told you something like that?"
"I would feel flattered." Erza said. Lucy's heart skipped a beat. "I would talk about how we would handle this. I would stay friends with you. That's all, I presume."
"But if I told you, you would be glad or sad?" Lucy asked a little tense.
"Well, I think I'd be happy you got it off your chest. I would feel a little sad because I'm hurting you. And…" her eyes seemed to drift far away.
"Erza?"
"Sorry."
"It's okay."
Erza tilted her head and narrowed her eyes a bit. Lucy immediately knew she had her suspicions, but it wasn't like Erza to spill it out.
The redhead's phone rang loudly, breaking the short silence. Erza politely excused herself and while Lucy waited, she debated on whether or not to tell her. Erza suspected something, so maybe that was enough.
A couple minutes later, the redhead came back, pale and restrained. Lucy stood up, not sure what she should do.
"What's wrong?" she asked a bit uncomfortable.
"Jellal. We're over."
It came to her like a wave. She saw it coming closer and closer, and the closer it got, the more she realised how big it was. She never quite expected the impact it had on her. They were over. Relief and fear, hope and despair and everything in between from worry to happiness, from anger to joy washed over her and she was simply flushed away in the flood. All she knew was that her arms were firmly against Erza's back and the redhead's nose against her collarbone and that she was in heaven. Her hair smelt entirely like Erza, she thought she was strangely tortured: to experience such heaven for a split second and then always having to long for it.
Lucy held onto Erza for as long as Erza wanted, and when she did, it felt so natural to lean in and gently kiss her. The tiniest movement had already happened, she hadn't even opened her eyes. In her mind, there was no going back, no doubts or even a conscious thought.
Then she opened her eyes and looked at Erza's face and what she saw wasn't surprise or oblivion. It was expectation. Erza expected her to kiss her. That was the sole reason Lucy stopped and the knife in her heart was so acute and painful she stepped back and could only hope to forget it.
The moment was broken and neither knew what to say. A silent acknowledgement was made between the two of them. And yet Lucy felt the need to say it out loud, but she couldn't and she wouldn't. She wanted to run far away and be the closest to Erza as possible. It was truly cruel: to be close and miles and miles away.
"I'm going home." She said before she would burst into tears. Erza wanted to protest, but changed her mind.
She smiled and looked so fragile and broken and beautiful, the words shuddered on the tip of her tongue.
"I never want to fall in love again." Erza said quickly. It was such a typical reaction, and yet it hurt more than she would have thought.
"Maybe one day…" she said with a voice thick of sadness and pain. "You never know what will happen."
"You don't. But I've been hurt every time I put my heart out there; and I will always be hurt. So I'm done with it."
Lucy managed to smile and her mood was lifted the smallest bit when she remembered.
"I want to tell you something I heard a long time ago, and I'll leave after that, so you can think, okay?" Erza nodded and Lucy closed her eyes, focusing on those words she heard years ago, the words that her mother had said her in the last autumn. She could still hear the faint wind and rustling, falling leaves along with the gentlest voice.
"To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure to keep it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, emotionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
She opened her eyes and instead of her mother, she saw Erza standing there, with a wondering look on her face. Lucy could smile. "Bye, Erza"
The door shut with a click as she left her home. On the ground floor, Levy was waiting for her.
"Lu-chan! I found the perfect word for Erza! she's… what happened?" her sharp friend asked worried.
"Nothing at all", Lucy responded, walking a little ahead of her friend. "What was the word you found?"
"Erza is", Levy said softly, "Quixotic."
XoXoXo
An extremely chivalrous or romantic person. It seemed to fit, except something was missing. A person was many things, so one word was hardly descriptive enough. Lucy couldn't stop her feelings, and she tried and tried getting over Erza, without any success. When Erza was there, she had fun and laughed and longed to kiss her, and when she wasn't there, she missed her and thought of her constantly. Maybe, Lucy reasoned, I can't get over her because she hasn't really rejected her. If it was definite, with no room for wishful thinking, she could move on.
That, and after a long and serious conversation with her best friend, made her knock on Erza's door yet again. Erza opened fairly quickly and they sat down in the same living room as the last time.
"Hey, Lucy. To what do I owe the honour?" Erza asked, comfortably leaning back.
The blonde herself didn't feel as sure as she used to five minutes ago. She built up the courage slowly. "I want to tell you something."
"Did something happen?"
"Yes, but it's not a bad thing." Lucy said hurriedly. "At least, I hope you don't take it as one. i mean, it'll change things for a while, but nothing permanent – I hope."
Erza just looked confused. Lucy sighed. "Never mind. So, since we've met and you cheered me up and then I cheered you up and we did so many things together and it's been so much fun ever since we met, and you're beautiful and smart and kind and I'm ranting a bit, aren't I?" she said as she noticed Erza's frown.
Realisation dawned upon the redhead. "Lucy…" she whispered.
"Yeah… I'm in love with you and quite helplessly, too." she shuddered, glad it was out and frightened of her reaction.
"I… don't know what to say. I suspected it, but… It's…" she struggled, and looked flustered.
"I thought that if I told you, it might be easier to move on."
"Maybe it is. I'm glad you had the courage to tell me. And I'm so terribly sorry…" Erza looked a bit unhappy now, but Lucy had known since the beginning. Her heart was wrung, and she didn't want to think anymore. The longer she thought about it, the more she knew for sure that she would always be in love with Erza.
"It's okay. I kind of expected it. We can still be friends, can't we?" Lucy asked, nearly pleaded.
"Of course. I mean, if you want to keep distance for a while, I would understand, but on my part, I'd love to be friends with you either way." Erza smiled.
"We'll have to work on boundaries, though."
"No problem." Erza nodded determined.
The hurt crushed her heart within an inch. Every second, she lived with the pain and she just knew that she could not live without the pain. The pain meant that, no matter how hard it was, Erza was still there and she was still alive.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I really have to go now. Levy is expecting me at the library." Lucy said, looking on her watch. It was a lie, but not a big one, for she would call Levy in two seconds and blurt out her feelings at their usual hanging spot.
"Oh, sure. It's no problem." Erza stood up and guided her out of the house. She waved as Lucy left.
There are studies that investigate the behaviour of people in love. Lucy had read a piece of the paper last year, and she remembered the exact words: As an example of this, we will take the leaving of the person the subject is in love with. A normal person closes the door immediately after the person left, with a friend he/she would watch for a couple seconds, but someone in love will wait until the person disappears from sight…
And when she didn't hear a door shut, when she didn't even hear the faintest sound of something indicating Erza had turned around and was already busy with other things, she took the stairs. And when she halfway down, she vaguely thought to hear the thud of a closing door.
And Lucy felt the one thing she should not feel. It was hope.
XoXoXo
Weeks passed and turned into months. But although the season changed into autumn, Lucy's feeling did not. She kept being in love with Erza, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't stay away from her, it seemed. Worst of all, she didn't feel like she was being hurt at all. Being around Erza only made her happy and long for just that bit more. Maybe it was but an illusion, even so, Lucy was glad to live in it.
And Erza? Erza kept her distance at first, cautious to not hurt Lucy, and after a while, the redhead became convinced that Lucy was over her. She began to hug again, to poke and to tease and smile. That smile became Lucy's reason for living. She would do anything to see her smile and laugh and be happy.
Even worse, Erza seemed to take a liking to flirting with her.
It was innocent, of course, but it was a different kind of torture, the torture that Lucy loved. She tried to avoid it, and ended up playing along every single time. Maybe Erza needed some kind of attention, too. Maybe it was what she needed to get over Jellal.
Of course, they both went too far one time…
At the library this time, looking for some books, Lucy was looking through some shelves, when she felt a hand sneaking around her waist and the strawberry breath of someone blowing against her ear. Well, Lucy absolutely hated it when people blew in her ear, so she flinched and desperately attempted to flee. She even let out a cry of anguish, to which Erza clasped a hand over her mouth.
"Shhh. Do you want to be thrown out of the library?" Erza whispered softly, and blew again.
Lucy thought that even for Erza, this was going too far. She fought and tried to escape, but to no avail. It was driving her crazy. Suddenly, when she expected it least, the hand released her and the blowing stopped.
Immense sadness overwhelmed her, like always. Each and every time she had fun with Erza and teased her, she would feel as if time stopped moving, and each and every time it was over, Lucy would realise the painful truth.
The urge to tell her how much Erza meant to her, how much she wanted to be with her, nearly outclassed her fear of distance between them.
The blonde sighed and put a hand against her forehead. Only, this time, it didn't go unnoticed by her red-haired friend.
"What's wrong? Did I go too far?" the slightly taller girl approached her again.
"It's just… Never mind, I'm overly sensitive, I guess." She replied.
"Oh. Okay. Is there anything I could do?"
"I don't think so. Thanks for asking, but I'm fine."
Erza, not trusting her friend's answer, narrowed her eyes, but said nothing. Lucy would tell her when she was ready, she figured.
"Did you hear anything from Jellal?" Lucy asked out of the blue.
Erza turned around to her again, failing to understand what happened moments ago. "No. Why are you asking?"
Although the heartbroken girl said it lightly, Lucy exactly understood every single nuance in her voice and choice of words. "No" was clouding with worry and regret, the question coated with confusion and loss, with denial and insecurity. It was the one moment Erza would show the side of her that was hurt, deeply and irredeemably.
"Because you still care." Lucy answered softly. "Because I know that part of you is still in love with him, and because I cannot bear to see you hurt. I want you to move on, to meet new people. Don't lock yourself up, Erza, as you always do."
Erza seemed shocked and hurt and angry. "Did you mean all that?" she asked. "I think you're still dreaming, Lucy. Dreaming of a world in which I am gay and we would be together."
The words hurt more than a slap in her face. "Maybe", Lucy admitted, for Erza's sake. "But that doesn't mean that it's wrong what I told you. You're both going to have to move on. You cannot be together, you know that."
Erza's eyes widened. "You… you know about him, don't you?"
Lucy nodded. "He's on the top list of the wanted persons here, 's not like it's a secret."
"He's changed." It was all the redhead said.
"Even so, the distance, the lies, everything that he and you could be is over."
"I know that", Erza said, turning around. "I know that very well. Maybe I'll never get over him, but it's okay."
"Then, can I ask you a question?" Lucy said cautiously.
"Always."
"Why are you flirting with me, if you knew I was still in love with you?" it came out slowly, with the inevitable weight of the answer that would mean a lot for them both.
Erza said nothing at first. Then she swallowed. "It's not… I don't mean to hurt you. I do feel… something for you, but… I don't want to hurt you. If I can't get over Jellal… It would be so useless… I know what a broken heart does to you, so I wouldn't want that. But it appears I've got less self-control than I thought."
It sank in like a bullet in the water.
Lucy did not know how to react – at all. She did not know what she should say or expect or even do. From everything she had anticipated, betrayal, being a toy or simply being used by the one she was in love with, this was the very last. Was this the very same Erza, that seemed to live to the fullest and did not have a worry on the surface and was yet so scarred and shy on the inside?
"I'm sorry." Erza whispered.
That broke something inside Lucy, and it was as if words came flooding through.
"Don't be sorry for that. you tried to protect me and I love that. But I think you have to let me help you. If you plan to get over him, really over him, you must give it your all. Take the happiness in front of you. I'll always be here and I will be me, whatever you wish me to be. A stranger, a friend or a lover. It is your choice, and mine will not change, for in my eyes you will always be the beautiful, strong angel I first met."
"Lucy", Erza said sternly, suddenly she was determined, strong-willed again. "You are the best friend I could wish for. I couldn't possibly do that to you. I will never willingly hurt you, direct or indirect. You mean too much to me."
Lucy's mouth went dry. "But I'm already hurt."
"Let's find that book. You need it, after all."
Erza seemed so hard, so cold suddenly. The blonde couldn't stand the idea she was closing herself off again. She took two big steps, put her arms around the other girl's waist and shuddered under their touch.
"I'm not letting you get away this easily." She whispered in her ear. Turning Erza around, she faced her for a split second. If Erza would give one small sign of resistance, she would stop there and then. But she didn't. Erza looked at her mildly surprised and with her eyes half-closed.
So Lucy did the only thing she could: she leaned forward and kissed her softly, with love and tenderness and everything she felt for Erza since they met. She poured her admiration, her knowledge, her ever-growing love into that kiss. Lucy tasted the sadness of Erza, her pain and also her beauty. For Erza, that kiss meant hope and someone who loved you, no matter what. To her utmost surprise, a single, salty tear made its way down. She knew there was no turning back now.
Both of them were scared and knew there would be a ton of trouble, but they also realised it was worth it, and they were worth each other. They had chosen each other, and that was why they wouldn't give up easily, nor with Erza's past, nor with Lucy's insecurity.
It was serious from the start, and they both knew it. There weren't a lot of foolish, puppy-love looks, but there were lots of sweet moments and tender touches, each of them showing care and even love.
Such was their relationship.
It didn't mean they didn't have fun anymore. Quite the opposite, in a matter of fact, they laughed and tickled and teased and kissed, but they also talked and stared and kissed some more. The time they spent was precious, and always too little.
It seemed like a perfect relationship, but of course there was some kind of arguing, about Lucy's novel, about Erza's swords and stubbornness, about Jellal, about children, but it might have been better that way. They weren't whole, or flawless together, they didn't make up each other's halves or anything. They were less than that, in the best of ways.
They worked on their common flaws together. They taught each other, they learnt together, and dreamt of a future happier than one can imagine. It was only the beginning, and it was with quite some pain and quite some fun that they began their relationship, and that is how it always will be.
Such is Life.
The End.
Okay, I don't really like it. But it's the best I could manage on two days. (I've got a sore back now) Thank y'all for reading!