A/N: Ok I was bored, and I was re-reading Lost and Found. So I decided to do this little drabble one-shot. It is kind of a musing between Gaara and Shukaku.
Warning: This might get a rather descriptive toward the end. Please do not hurt me. Please! I beg you. Death will be very predominant in it. If you don't like brooding angst the do not read this...AT ALL!
Oh yeah. the Italics are flashbacks, and bold is Shukaku talking.
Disclaimer: (Holds up sign) "I don't own."
Why Can't I?
Gaara sat down in the bathroom. Once again his father had left him in a bloody heap on the floor. No one was there to save him. Kankurou and Temari were both at school. Gaara remembered protesting that he was fine, and he wanted to go with him. Kankurou had flat out refused to listen.
"I swear Kankurou. I am fine, see?" Gaara tried to walk around, but the pain that shot through his leg prohibited the normal flow. "Please. W-w-w-what if he comes h-h-h-home?"
"No Gaara. You need to stay home today. People are already starting to get suspicious. I don't want them asking questions. You know that, right?" Kankurou leaned down so that he was level with the small boy.
"B-b-b-but I d-d-d-don't want to s-s-st-stay home. I'm s-sc-scared." Gaara looked down at the floor. He hated this. He was a burden to both his brother and his sister, and he hated it.
"Look. He won't come home. Okay? He has a lot of meetings to go to, and won't be home until after we get back from school. Okay?" He placed his hand on the boy's small frame, trying to ignore the noticeable flinch at human contact.
Gaara just let a mumbled whimper escape his lips, "'Kay…"
Kankurou smiled, "Now I want you to eat something today. Temari left some soup for you on the counter."
Gaara nodded. "Okay, Kankurou." He limped his way to the couch and lay down. He wasn't going to be able to sleep, but he could at least rest.
Gaara had taken a few bites of the soup, so that when Kankurou asked him, he wasn't lying. He had eaten it, just not all of it. Right after he ate some of it he came home. Gaara froze in place. His feet refused to move, as the bowl of soup slipped from his hand, sending the murky liquid and shattered plaster all over the floor.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HOME?" The voice reverberated through out the entire house.
Gaara only whimpered in reply. 'Kankurou. Help. Please.' He knew that he wasn't going to come. Gaara felt his body lift off the ground, and slam into a wall.
"YOU STUPID, GOOD FOR NOTHING MONSTER!" Kazekage screamed into the boy's ear. "You fucking broke another dish. You fucking piece of trash! What good are you?" He fist came in contact with Gaara's face.
"I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry." He whimpered while his face made contact with the ground.
"Shut up! I don't want to hear your sorry excuses. I want this shit cleaned up, and you better do it right, you worthless piece of shit!" After giving a final blow to Gaara's ribs and slamming him back into the wall, he left.
Gaara let out a few whimpers. It hurt to move, but if he didn't get this cleaned up, Dad was going to be mad at him. He didn't want Dad to be mad again. He just wanted to make him happy for once. He finished cleaning and began to crawl his way up the stairs. He couldn't stand up straight, let alone walk. He finally dragged himself into the bathroom.
This time he was alone, truly alone.
No one was there for him this time. He didn't want to be a burden anymore. That's when it caught him. That small flash of silver light. Gaara picked it up, turning it around in his hand. He brought it down, making a quick slash on his wrist.
I don't think so, brat. I am not letting you end our life.
'No! W-w-why? Why can't I -d-die?' Gaara still tried to bring the blade down on his arm.
Did you forget? Nothing can hurt you. You have me. Remember?
'Let me do it. Please! Just let me. Go find your self another host. I am done.' Gaara tried to bring it down across his wrist again.
No, you damn weakling.
'Why? You let him hurt me. Why can't I hurt me?' Gaara heard Shukaku scoff at the comment.
I owe him. It's that simple. I would still be in that damn teapot if it weren't for him.
'Please. I am tired. Please, just let me do it.' Gaara had been reduced to nothing but sobs. He mumbled, "please", over and over again. He felt Shukaku leave. In a final act of desperation he brought the blade down on his wrist. That's when he felt it. 'Pain?' Gaara looked down at his now red-stained wrist. A morbid smile came to play on his face.
'This is it. He wont ever hurt me again.' Gaara brought the blade straight down his forearm. "I'm sorry Temari, Kankurou. At least I don't have to be a burden anymore. Maybe now you all will be happy.' He switched hands, He was going to have to finish this fast. The warmth of blood was the only sensation that could be felt on his cold, pale, skin.
He quickly made the red line appear down the other forearm. He watched the blood pour out of the opened wounds. He fell back against the doorframe. 'Look, Kankurou, I have finally done something right. I won't be a burden anymore. You and Temari can be happy now. Dad won't punish you 'cause I was bad. Kankurou, you wont have to protect me. Temari, you wont have to cry anymore. Everything will be okay.'
His eyes began to close as he slid down the door, and into his own pool of blood. 'I'm sorry I was such a burden. I'm sorry.'
A/N:OMG OMG OMG! I feel so horrible. I killed him. BAWLLLL JK PLEASSEEEE DON'T KILL ME! Feel free to flame! I deserve it! (sniff)
Junsui Kegasu's BETA Notes: (BAWLING HER FUCKING EYES OUT) It was awesome! It was awesome! It was so sad…but…it was awesome…Gosh… Gosh, Dark…
Oh, and just before the world (AKA ffn and I would use brackets here (the boxey things) except they don't like it! (pouts as she remembers how ffn screwed up her formatting)) gets pissed off and deletes this: I hereby give Dark-kunoichi permission to write this …well…never mind, the teapot thing and the debt was from AIM…
IN YOUR FACE, FFN!
And whoa, that was a long BETA note…(goes off to reapply eyeliner)