All "InuYasha" characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and associated copyright holders. No money is being made from this fan fiction. No infringement is intended.

He hated dogs: big, little, yappy – you name it. Especially dog demons, they were the worst fucking slime spawned by the Universe. Stupid Dog-Turd and his wise-ass fuckhead of a brother! The shame he was going to have to endure for the next month before the damn stuff grew back was horrible in and of itself, but the fact that the Inu brothers' little antics had made Kagome laugh at him was an especially low blow to his pride. He wanted to just forget about the whole sorry mess, but if Ginta and Hakkaku didn't SHUT THE FUCK UP and quit giggling behind him every time he turned around, someone was gonna DIE!!!

Looking down in the still spring pool after a drink, he turned around and faced his mark and snarled at it. Then he forgot and snapped his tail behind him in agitation, causing the burnt, red flesh to sting in the most irritating way! He was going to get InuYasha for this…

Earlier that morning…

InuYasha had been going at it pretty hard this morning and the fucker was really starting to get on his last nerve. Landing at a skid, he shook blood out of his eye and hefted Tetsusaiga once more into an offensive stance. Sesshoumaru had touched down a few yards away, blandly brandishing Tokijin in a seemingly casual way, unless you remembered that he was attempting to at least cripple his half-brother. They met and slashed, bounced away and then, reloaded like springs, did it all again. And again.

Neither had made much headway in the battle other than InuYasha getting a steadily increasing number of lacerations. Kagome thought to herself that Sesshoumaru must be having a pretty good day; he appeared to be carving his name on the right side of InuYasha's face with each cut he landed. But neither side seemed to be really attempting mortal injury at this point. If it had been any other combatants she would have said they were enjoying themselves.

Miroku and Sango were sitting on a slight hill, relaxing under a large tree, Shippou coloring with his precious crayons. These impromptu sparring matching were happening more and more regularly and served to give everyone a welcome rest. Kagome sat nearby on a log, first-aid kit at her feet, watching the show. Whatever gave them a few moments of rest from the endless road was just fine with her, she mused.

Everything was fine until Kagome noticed a familiar whirlwind closing in on them very quickly. She didn't have time to blink before the irrepressible ookami leader was smiling down at her with oblivious eyes. A sudden cold shiver told her this was not a good thing, not now, not when InuYasha was worked up from fighting…

"Hey Kagome, how's my woman today? Sick of Dog-Turd yet?"

"Uh, hi… Kouga. How are you? Umm…oh crap! Watch OUT!" she said, ducking her head as InuYasha leapt in front of her, sword missing her by mere inches.

"What the fuck do you want?! I don't have time for this!"

"Whatever you say, mutt! I'm not here to see you anyway, so get the hell outta my face!"

Sesshoumaru was not to be ignored, especially by one low-life brat and the obnoxious wolf. He had the sneaking suspicion Rin's fear of wolves involved this ookami and his pack but so far the proof had been lacking. Faster than mortal eyes could see it, the Taiyoukai was behind Kouga, who was still thoroughly engrossed in his favorite pastime of baiting InuYasha.

Kagome's eyes grew three sizes when she saw Sesshoumaru appear behind Kouga. She opened her mouth to warn them both when tragedy struck so fast it left her speechless.

"At least I'm not my brother's whiny little bitch, InuYasha! Have you seen your face yet, you asshole?"

Sesshoumaru was pissed. Ignored still and then insulted. Kouga was going to die now.

Summoning his poison, Sesshoumaru poised his hand to strike.

Suddenly InuYasha shoved Kouga away from him before he clove the ookami's thick head in two… sending Kouga backwards into Sesshoumaru. The wolf's eyes bulged in shock and then he started yelling in pain and lept away from the Inu to regroup.

"Ridiculous.", quoth Sesshoumaru and flicking poison lazily from his fingers to his brother's face in one final insult he took to the sky and quickly disappeared into the clouds.

Kouga ground his teeth together and looked at his fur-clad ass, or tried anyway. He couldn't quite see it but he knew there was a wound there and it burned like fire! Bounding back to Kagome, who was already wiping the blood from InuYasha's face, he decided to get in on the action as well, Kagome's strange remedies worked better than anything.

"Get outta the way, Dog-breath! I need my woman to dress my wounds here." Kouga said with all the bravado he could muster.

"What- Did you get goosed by Sesshoumaru and now you want to share it with all of us? No thanks!" replied InuYasha, although he wanted to see what had made Kouga jump and scream like the coward he was. InuYasha had an idea, but…

"Ok Kouga, turn around so I can see the damage." Kagome said, peroxide at the ready.

He turned, hands on his hips, hoping Kagome enjoyed his backside as much as he hoped she would.

She most certainly did, as a matter of fact she started laughing so explosively, she nearly dropped the precious disinfectant. Trying to get a hold of herself, she turned her head and met InuYasha's smug eyes and couldn't keep in the laughter. It took her some time to calm herself. But she did dig out a small mirror out of the kit and once she could speak again, positioned it at angle she figured he could view the damage for himself.

"Uh, Kouga? You might want to look at this…" she managed to get out between giggles.

He looked back over his shoulder, eyes bulging in embarrassment. There on his right butt-cheek was the perfect pink burn of Sesshoumaru's hand. The stark contrast between the dark brown fur and the bright, raw skin was a beacon and drew his eyes to it over and over, no matter how hard he tried to look anywhere else.

InuYasha was having the best morning ever. First a sparring match and now the utter humiliation of his rival for Kagome's affection – life was so good! Just one thing would make it better…

"Who's my brother's whiny bitch now?" he teased.

"Go to hell, you half-bred mutt! I don't need this!" exploded Kouga, cheeks flaming in indignation. Spitting curses at InuYasha, Kouga whipped up his cyclone and took off. He'd have one hell of a time saving face now! All the more impetus to find Naraku first!

Kagome held out a small tube to Kouga, but scoured by dirt, whipped by her hair in the sudden wind, she knew it was no use; he was outta there. Not that she'd have blamed Kouga, but at least he could have taken the aloe. Then at least the wound would only hurt his pride, she thought and couldn't stop the snorted laughter that followed.

"What just happened? Why are you both laughing?" Sango asked when Kagome and InuYasha, now bandaged and patched, met them under the shady tree.

"We got a visit from Kouga… oh my god, I just can't say it! How mortifying!" Kagome tried to explain. InuYasha just laughed in a wicked way and shook his head.

"Kouga just got his ass handed to him by Sesshoumaru."

"Oh my God, InuYasha – that's a horrible way to say it!"

"Well it's true, ain't it?" he smirked.