AN: These are Renji's thoughts to Rukia when she has been sentenced to death, as he reminisces about their relationship and his regrets.
It hurts so much, my love, it always has
To watch you day after day, endlessly
To smell your sweet dew fragrance so close by
To know that your gentle and frail figure
Is only at arm's length and would just snap
even at a gentle pressure from my hands.
But, Alas! To me you are as remote
As the feathery clouds of midwinter
Yes, love, they always remind me of you
They have the same delicacy and seem
As soft and ephemeral as your smile
And as swiftly as you, they disappear.
I know that no matter how far I reach
I cannot even brush against your heart
Someone else hold the keys to it by now
And I can only watch from the shadows
What I ardently cherish above all
While knowing that it is to me forever lost.
And here I remain, the same as ever
The one that will never truly belong
The Rukongai stray dog
Forced to beg like one for someone else to save
What I tresure the most but could not protect.
I should never have let you go away
Despite how I thought that you would be happy
Neither at the Noble's house
Away from my class
Nor at the vast world below
Away from my heart.
We used to be so close, before
We would frolic around in the river
Steal food and have each other's backs
As we ran from the adults, and from the pain
Where have those blessed, happy times gone now?
Now all that is left are thoughts of you
Memories that flick through my head
Whenever I am with Captain Kuchiki
An ache that spreads in my heart
Whenever I am reminded of your absence.
I never got round to it
I never did tell you how I felt
I always thought that I had the time
I always figured that eternity was long enough
How wrong I have been!
Few meagre hopes remain
That the one you gave your heart to
Can save you when I was helpless
That I can stay beside you at least
And watch you grow stronger each day.
AN: Thank you for reading this! Please tell me what you think about my debut by reviewing =)