Naughty or Nice?

Lloyd's Letter

Ho! Ho! Ho! Season's Greeting, fellow Pickfordites! I know that I owe everyone here something nice for Christmas, but the hot coco keeps leaking out of the box no matter how much tape I use, so, since I don't own Phil of the Future ...

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"Mmmm, cocoa. Jingle-bells, jingle-bells. Jingle all the BY ALL THAT'S FROSTY! Helga, where are my marsh mellows?"

"Just keep your pants on and your bellowing down to a low roar, Santa. The dear elves worked a triple shift again and even elfin toy makers must sleep sometime."

"I'm sorry, Helga. I'm just in a mood with these latest mailbags."

"What's the matter, Dear?"

"Nothing."

"Honey?"

"What?"

"Noooothing."

SluRp "Not the same without the little marsh mellows."

"No. I don't know why I bother making it at all. Now if I made marsh mellows, then my efforts would be valued and appreciated. From now on, all I'm going to -- "

"Pickford, California, U.S.A, North America. SlurP These people are pips. Listen to this one:"

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Dear Mister Santa Claus Sir:

Re: My request list for the upcoming delivery expected from you on December 25th, 12:00 a.m.

Your Majesty, I humbly ask for the receipt of the six components on the attached requisition. They don't exist yet, but I really, really, really need them to get home. If anyone can fashion them, then it is you, your Honor, Sir. Oh, and I've been good. The parts aren't really for me, well, they are. What I mean is that I'll use them, but not for me, well, I'll use them for me, too, but I want them for my family, not that they'd have any idea what to do with them. (You understand what I mean, right, Guy?)

Your most humble servant,

Lloyd Diffy

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"'Naughty or Nice?' It seems like an easy choice which list he goes on, Dearie."

"'Nutty' or Nice, you mean. Just look at his parts list! His lederhosen obviously doesn't go up to the top, --"

"Dear."

" -- his cap isn't snug, -- "

"Now, Dear ..."

" -- his bag is mighty empty, -- "

"Santa!"

"Obviously, Helga, his cocoa is missing a few -- "

"Yes, Santa?"

"Yes, well, could you pull his file, please, Hon? Thank you. Awfully thin file. Are you sure this is the right Lloyd Diffy? A file this thin is usually only for toddlers, (the very feeble minded) and such."

"It's the only one. Curious. No date of birth. No marriage certificate either. Just a slew of hospital admissions for an upset stomach, hives, food poisoning, ... "

"Oh, the usual. Okay, add his letter into his file, fruitcake the fruitcake, and toss in a case of the pink stuff that he can chug-a-lug the next time he eats something that he should have just said 'no' to.

Next Pickford letter, please. Oh, listen to this one ..."