So thick this lie. Like a fog it covers up the truths…A mirror broken into pieces, we're not what we say we are.
Trust, love, loyalty. Nothing but a lie. I know it. We know it. But we don't dare mention it. Use to be such a fairy tale, but now its nothing but a illusion. Humans. That's what we are. So curious, we want to find the truth. But the truth can kill us.
We cover up all the pain with lies. Backstabbing till one of us breaks. It's a game of mouse and cat. Who's the cat and who's the mouse? There are no winners. Either way we all go down. I know it. Do you?
The end of the line has got to come one day. When that day comes what will happen? Will the truth break us? Or clear up this fog? To say the truth I don't want to take the chances. I'm not the
heroine. I'm not good. I'm not evil. I'm human. A person with feelings. I want attention. I want to be noticed. But things are holding me back…and I think it's both of us. The words you say offends me. Sometimes I just want to push you down. Yell at you.
Beat the fucking crap out of you. Sometimes I just want to hug you. Trust you. But mostly I want to laugh at you. Laugh at your stupidity. Laugh at how right you are. Laugh at how childish you are. Laugh at your concern for me. Laugh at how you make
me regret everything I do…No laugh at how I regret everything I do…Feel like exploding. I know you want to laugh too. Laugh at me. Don't worry I'll understand. But the feeling of hate and hurt won't go away. Like I say I don't want to take chances. So
I'm not gonna say anything. But let me tell you. The end will come. And unless someone speak up, I don't know what will happen. I'll rather die than be the first one to say, out loud and seriously, I hate you. Cause I know it will kill all of us, now that the
truth has been spoken. And when it do I would want to fix it. But at the same time I don't want to. I know that a simple word like I'm sorry won't cure our pain. That's why I don't want to. We say we are always the one to say sorry, and we hate it. So
what? What about my feelings? You expect me to say it when you yourself don't have the courage to say it? You say your strong. I say I'm a coward. Are you strong enough to admit your faults? Your selfishness? Your ugly side? I want to. I need to.
But I'm too scared. What about you? No matter what people tell me I always think that there's a purpose to it. Is that normal? I'm too afraid to trust anybody. But still I trust them. We don't learn our lesson until it bites us in the back. Right now
writing this I have mix feelings. No, I don't feel relieved. If any I want to smash this computer right now. Because I'm not feeling any better. We rarely blame ourselves. We mostly blame others. If you do blame yourself how do you feel? Do you feel
regret? Do you feel like the words your saying are fake? Do you feel good because you have the courage to actually admit that it's your fault? How stupid. Feeling good just because you admit that you are at fault. Does that make you a saint? A good
person? A god? No. I'll weather blame others. Cuz I'm human. I go with the flow. Sure I want to break free. But am I strong enough? We are living in a world of dreams. But when we realize that everything don't go as plan we go crazy. One question.
What are your feelings right now while you are reading this? Is it stupid? The truth? Or are you just gonna ignore it? Honestly I would chose number 3. Why? I'll forget it anyway. This is how a pure little friendship can be twisted in the most real way…