Disclaimer: I do not own anything, nor am I making a profit by writing this.
Reasons Why Casey and Lily Can't Be a Couple
Jungle Karma Pizza was closed for the day and Casey and Lily were cleaning the place up. She was wiping down all the tables, and he was mopping the floors. RJ, Fran, and Theo were…well they were somewhere else. Their exact location is not important.
"Hey, Casey," the yellow ranger said.
"Yeah, Lil?" the red ranger replied.
"Do you ever wonder why you and I can't be a couple?"
He stopped what he was doing and gave her a look like that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard before in his life.
"This coming from the person who said I was like a little brother to her," Casey commented.
"Hey! I was just following the script!" she exclaimed.
"Exactly my point."
"Huh?"
"Don't you get it? The producers don't want us together! One of the first things we learned was that whatever the producers want, they get."
Lily was giving this morsel of information some serious thought. It would certainly account for certain things that have or rather haven't happened.
"Wait. What makes you think the producers don't want us together?" the cheetah inquired.
"Isn't it obvious?"
"Isn't what obvious?"
"We haven't had any scenes that may or may not be construed as romantic since the episode 'A Taste of Poison.' That, in case you have forgotten, was episode number four!"
"Whoa! Has it really been that long?"
"It has."
The yellow ranger sauntered her way over to the red ranger. She started tracing her finger on his chest. No sooner had she started doing this then Casey slapped her hand.
"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.
"Ouch! What was that for?" she questioned.
"Must you do that while the camera is rolling?"
"Oh. Camera man, you can go ahead and call it a night."
The camera man turned off his camera, and packed up his equipment. Once all his equipment was packed, he left Jungle Karma Pizza.
Lily cradled Casey's cheek with her hand and leaned in to give him a kiss on the lips. She kissed something alright, but it wasn't his lips. Casey had put two of his fingers between her lips and his.
"Just because the camera guy is gone doesn't mean you can do that!" he exclaimed.
"What? Why not?" she replied.
"Because I don't know about you, but I happen to like my job. If the producers were to catch wind of this, then we'd both be out of jobs. I don't want them to cast someone else as the red ranger. Do you want them to cast someone else as the yellow ranger?"
"No."
"Then we can't kiss."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
Lily blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. She folded her arms across her chest and pouted her lips looking pretty ticked off.
"Well, this sucks," she remarked.
"Tell me about it," he said.
"So I know you said that the producers don't want us together, but do you have any idea why they don't want us together?"
"Actually, I do. I've talked to the producers about this, and evidently, they feel that this show shouldn't have any romance in it. They said 'if viewers want romance, then they should go and watch a soap opera,' or something like that," the tiger explained using air quotes.
"What a bunch of bologna. How do the fans feel about this?"
"Well, according to the message boards and forums, they are pretty much split down the middle; about half are glad that you told me I am like a little brother to you; the other half doesn't buy it for one second. They say things like you were just lying or that we have too much chemistry together."
Casey took a couple of steps back so that he and Lily weren't in such close proximity of one another. He didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea or anything after all.
"There has to be more reasons why the producers don't want us together. That first reason is just stupid," the yellow ranger stated.
"Hmm…maybe the producers don't want us together because you're not the pink ranger," Casey suggested.
"Casey, there is no pink ranger this season."
"Exactly. Come on, Lily. How many times in the history of power rangers have a red ranger and yellow ranger ever really hooked up?"
Lily took some time to ponder this question in her head. Given that this was the sixteenth season, there was quite a lot to ponder.
"Now if you were a pink ranger, then maybe something could happen between you and me. After all, Wes and Jen were a couple," the red ranger explained.
"I often wondered about that. How do we even know about Time Force? Didn't that happen in the year 3000?" the yellow ranger asked.
"Well, then you can make the same argument about S.P.D. That happened in the year 2025 and it's only 2008 now."
Lily nodded her head up and down indicating that Casey had a point. She then saw a shaker of grated parmesan cheese on the table she just so happened to be wiping down at the moment. She removed the lid and threw the entire contents on the red ranger. He merely stood there.
"If you expect me to retaliate and start some sort of food fight, then we can't do that either," the tiger stated.
"You're kidding me! Why not?" the yellow ranger pouted.
"We can't because food fights might be interpreted as us flirting with one another. If people think we're flirting with one another, then people might think that we either are a couple or could be a couple, and the producers can't allow that to happen."
"This sucks! Is there anything we can do?"
"Not really, no. Oh, that reminds me. The producers wanted me to tell you that we have to keep our interactions to a minimum so the fans don't get the wrong idea."
"So, does that mean that you and I can't have a scene by ourselves anymore?"
"Not unless there's a third person in the scene with us."
"Should I go get Theo then?"
"Yeah. That's probably for the best."
Not too much later, and Lily returned to the pizza parlor with Theo in tow. He looked to be thoroughly confused.
"Hey guys. What's up?" the blue ranger asked.
"We're discussing why Lily and I can't be a couple," Casey stated.
"Oh! I bet I know why. I bet it's because Lily and I are going to end up being a couple!"
"Nice try, buddy, but no. You and Lily aren't going to be a couple either."
"What? Why not?"
"Do you want to tell him, Lily? Or should I?"
"I'll go ahead and tell him. Theo, the producers don't want there to be any couples this season because this is power rangers, not a soap opera."
"Well, that's stupid! You and I have known each other for an undisclosed length of time though! That has to count for something!"
"Actually, no. If anything that's one reason why you and Lily can't be a couple. Since you have known each other for such a long undisclosed length of time, if the two of you were to have hooked up, you would have done so by now. That's what the producers told me at least," the red ranger chimed in.
"That sucks! When were the producers planning on telling me this?" the blue ranger asked.
"Oh, they weren't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're not the red ranger."
"So the producers only tell this sort of stuff to the red ranger?"
"Basically, yeah."
"Sweet! So do you already know how the season's going to end?" Lily asked.
"No."
"Well why not?" Theo inquired.
"Because I'm not a producer," the tiger answered.
The three primary colored rangers let out a collective sigh. The red and yellow rangers by now have completely forgotten about the fact that they were supposed to be cleaning Jungle Karma Pizza up.
"Well, if you ask me, the fact that Lily and I have known each other for an undisclosed length of time should be the reason why we should become a couple," Theo said.
"Well, no one asked you," Casey muttered under his breath.
"Casey!" Lily exclaimed.
"What? Sorry dude, but we were supposed to be discussing why Lily and I can't be a couple not why you and Lily can't be a couple."
"Look, just because the producers favor you over the rest of us doesn't mean that the world revolves around you," the blue ranger stated.
"Guys, break it up!" Lily pleaded.
"I need to go for a walk and cool off," Theo said.
"You can't," Casey replied.
"Why not?"
"Then Lily and I will be alone and that might give the fans the wrong idea."
"Can't you just get RJ or Fran or something, then?"
"Why when you can just stay?"
Much to the red ranger's dismay, the blue ranger left the scene and headed back up to the loft. He quickly went after him only to find that Lily had put a hand to his chest to stop him.
"You might want to wait a little bit," she stated.
"Why is that?" the red ranger asked.
"If you go after him now, the slash fans might get the wrong idea."
"Slash? What the heck is slash?"
"How do I explain this? Guy-guy."
"Guy-guy?"
Lily gave Casey a knowing look, and then he went 'oh!' and understood what it was that Lily meant.
"But I'm not, you know."
"I know, but let's make sure that the fans know as well."
"Okay. So can you think of any other reasons why you and I can't be a couple?"
"Hey, you're the one producers tell these things to. Have they mentioned anything else?"
"Now that you mention it, yeah. They apparently pride themselves on being ambiguous. That way, the fans will go certifiably insane overanalyzing every little moment of every single episode for little signs that there might actually be a couple."
"But I thought you said there wouldn't be any couples?"
"Oh, I know that. You know that. Theo knows that. However, the fans don't."
"That's really messed up."
"Yeah, I know. They shouldn't torment the fans like that."
The two fell into a comfortable silence. Their gazes drifted to one another's eyes. Then, when they realized that they were lost in the other's eyes, they bashfully averted their gazes. After remaining like this for quite some time, Casey checked the watch on his wrist.
"I think I'll go after Theo now. You know if we are alone together any longer…"
"…people will get the wrong idea. You do that then. Although for future reference, you might want to phrase it as something other than 'I think I'll go after Theo now' next time because…"
"…the slash fans might get the wrong idea. Got it."
The yellow ranger sighed dreamily as she watched the red ranger's retreating form. From the way she saw it, it was perfectly acceptable for her to do so. It's not like the producers were watching or anything.
The End