Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds much to my dismay.
Blood, so much blood, his stomach churned at the pictures before him. Even after all these years, after everything he had seen nothing compared to
those first crime scene photos. No one deserved to see someone they loved like that. He hadn't wanted details but he got them anyway. She had been
raped before he killed her, she had tried to fight back, he was stronger. Not realizing or caring who he was the team investigating her case had played a
tape. He could hear her screams, it pierced him in a way nothing had. One of the members had noticed his reaction and turned off the tape, he wanted to
tear everything apart. His heart was in pieces, if he had just been there, if she wasn't so stubborn, if she had stayed, so many what ifs and not enough
answers. All he knew was he wanted blood for this, he could taste it.
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner woke up in a cold sweat, the coppery taste of blood in his mouth. He must have bit his lip. He looked to his side and found
Jack sleeping soundly. He quietly got up and went to rinse his face with cold water. The past few weeks his dreams had been haunted by Haley
and her death but not tonight no tonight had been old demons. 8 years old or would be tomorrow. The trail of her murderer had gone cold, "still at
large" that was the term and it ate at him inside. At least Haley had been able to keep the pain away especially around this time. Without her
there was nothing to stop the dreams from coming back, the images from filling his head. Opening the cabinet he grabbed the bottle of advil and
took two to ease the throbbing pain between his eyes. Would he ever get peace? Didn't he deserve it? Didn't she? So young, so much lost.
Hanging his head he made his way back to bed, kissed his son's forehead and closed his eyes once more afraid of what horror's his memories
would unleash on him.
7am The BAU
Hotchner sipped his hot coffee and made his way to his office taking out the files he was working on, but before he dig further into his desk for
more files Strauss appeared at his door. " Hotchner, my office in five." He nodded and walked out after her. Once in her office he took a seat
opposite her. " What can I do for you Strauss?" "I'm assigning a new member to your team." She stated. "I beg your pardon?" he asked
incredulously. "Don't start with me Hotch, this is over my head here, besides she has exceptional credentials, I'm sure she'll be an asset"
"Then assign her to some other team I'm sure-
"Agent Hotchner she will be a member of your team, out of respect you can talk to her before hand. But make no mistake she will be working with
you and your team." Strauss handed him her personnel file a stern look on her face, he really couldn't do anything about it. Glaring at her he took
the file and left.
When he got back to his office he slammed the file on his desk and went back to his coffee. He ignored the personnel file on his newest member
and went back to his desk drawer further digging out more files. Most were cold cases that he went back to every once and while when he and his
team weren't working any active cases. As he pulled out the next file he noticed a picture frame. The one he hid from everyone and looked at
seldomly. Picking it up he gingerly cradled it between his hands. The girl in the picture smiled back at him. She had been 14 then, he could still hear
her bell like laugh, see her hair blowing in the wind her curls becoming more unruly. She had dared him to go skating that day. He didn't really like
the sport, frankly the idea of splitting his head open on the ice didn't quite appeal to him. Still she had begged. "Come on Aar, What the big bad
Aaron Hotchner afraid of skating poor baby!" So he went, he actually had fun not that he would ever admit to her that she was right. How he missed
her. Putting the picture away he picked up the file beneath it, the last one in the drawer. Starring at the name on the file. When he first got the job
at the BAU he had made sure to acquire this file, the police may have given up on her but he never had. Taking a deep breath his thumb caressed
the name and he opened the file but before he reread it a knock on his door forced his attention away from it, it was Rossi. "Morning Hotch, what
did Strauss want?"
"To tell me I have a new member to our team." "New member?" Rossi inquired. "Yeah, we don't have a choice in the matter, do me a favor this is
her file, can you call her, tell her congratulations and ask her to come in tomorrow for 9. I'll meet you down later to inform the team." Rossi nodded
took the personelle file and left. Hotch looked once more at the file in his hands, he didn't want to go back to it just yet, it hurt too much. He get to
it after speaking with the team, he rationalized as he put the file back in his desk drawer. Anelise Hotchner wasn't going anywhere, afterall the
dead don't walk.
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Maeve