Song Fics about Derek
Author's Note: There will be one about the rest of the characters, too, just this one was important to me. I had to get it out of my head. It'll be a little long, and the lyrics are here, but just bare with me. Derek + Chloe pairings, as I'm a big supporter. BIG HUGE GIGANTIC THANKS TO SCH, BECAUSE WITHOUT HER THIS WOULDN'T BE UP AT ALL!!!
Animal I have become… by Izzy (Aqua279)
I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal!
This animal, this animal
I can't escape myself
So many times I've lied
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell
This animal, this animal
This animal, this animal
This animal, this animal
This animal
So what if you can see the darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
somebody help me tame this animal!
This animal I have become
3rd person
Derek knew better than to wake Simon when he felt his stomach twist, felt the fever coming; he was panting gently. He also knew that waking Chloe would be stupid, selfish, and useless, but he needed someone there. Tori would be the best bet of not getting any one all upset, but…Chloe. He woke her up gently, trying not to pant on her face. Her eyes snapped open and she took a quick assessment of his face. Recognition lit her blue eyes and she quickly sat up.
"I'm coming!" She hissed, not even asking what it was or not. Warmth randomly hit Derek square in the chest, but he ignored it, classifying it as one of those strange occurrences that happened a lot in Chloe's presence.
They walked quickly towards the woods outside the safe house; Derek tried to remind himself that Chloe couldn't keep up with him on those short legs of hers, let alone the fact that she couldn't see in this cloudy night, but it was getting harder and harder to focus as pain raked his body, muscles straining and shifting and twitching and pulling. He shook his head to clear the fog that was gathering up there, and tried focusing once more.
"Derek, here is good. We're pretty f-far." Chloe murmured, a slightly annoyed expression crossing her face when she stuttered. He understood- he was scaring her. It wasn't quite fair, that she should fear him when he hadn't done anything to hurt her- intentionally. He knew he hurt her feelings a lot; that meant a lot more to girls than hurting them physically, he guessed. He hated doing either.
Derek shed his outer clothes and dropped to his hands and knees, almost tensing, knowing that would do no good except make the pain worse. Chloe sat beside him, shivering, but vigilant.
"You're alright." She murmured, just as all of his limbs stiffened, fire rolling across every single nerve ending he had. He would have much preferred to be hit by a train, survive, then get hit again than to deal with this. At least the train would most likely paralyze him or destroy any nerve endings left. This just made each one ultra sensitive, made him hurt worse and worse.
He at least had the sense to turn his face when he felt it shifting; Chloe didn't have to see that. His spine went rigid, he felt it go straight up, the bones crackling and shifting and lengthening. Fur wasn't the first thing to grow this time; it was happening after his spine. Chloe's fingers brushed his shoulder, then rubbed between his shoulders. Vomit rolled through his throat, up to his mouth, and he spat it out, unable to hold it down. There goes twenty dollars of food… he thought wryly above the tumbling thoughts hidden under so much pain that they were indecipherable.
"Shh, it's okay." Chloe kept talking to him, telling him how she was right there, she wouldn't leave him; that he was doing great - like he was in labor or something. He figured maybe that would have been less painful anyways… or not.
Derek felt fur start to push through his skin, growing further than it had last time, and he knew, on some distant instinct, that this was it. He was going to Change.
"Do you want me to back up?" Chloe murmured, still rubbing his back soothingly. He realized he'd been shaking his head and growling. He shook his head again, vomiting way too close to his head for his comfort. Chloe shifted a little, too, and another stray, vague, and unwanted thought came to his head: I hope I didn't get any on her, she deserves so much better for always helping me out when she doesn't have to…
His hands curled and shrunk, losing the opposable thumb, gaining claws and padded paws. Gasping, he managed to get a look at Chloe's face. His eyes had a sharper detail now; he noticed her eyelashes fluttering just a tiny bit in what little breeze there was. She stared back at him, calm, cool, collected.
"You got it, Derek. It's alright." She murmured, very close; as if she was proving she wasn't scared. He felt his mouth and nose start to elongate and turned away quickly, so she wouldn't see it half way. He tossed his head back and howled, pain radiating from his stomach now. Chloe flinched and he glanced back, not turning his head, just using his eyes. Her left hand was bleeding. His ears- which he hadn't even noticed were changing- perked up, and he glanced around for the danger. It took a minute to realize he was the danger.
He grunted at her, attempting to ask what had happened, but his back stretched again, and he let out a horribly weak little moan that made him sound like a baby. His shoulders flexed hard, making him wince inwardly, but try to keep the sounds in, and his legs spazzed. He was seeing red now, sure his tongue was bleeding, and he could no longer decipher what was real and what was in his head and somehow instead of getting better, the pain got worse, worse still, the pain spreading like a liquid through his body, from the crown of his head to the heels of his feet, and all around in the center.
It was like being shot, stabbed, hit by a car, a bus, a train, an airplane and trampled by an elephant at the same time. He wished he could have any of those, any other one, because this pain was so, so intense that he couldn't hold it in any longer----
An animalistic scream of pain broke through his chest, and suddenly the world went black.
Xxx
Derek was gone, locked in a tiny box under the wolf. The wolf was in charge.
The wolf.
Chloe
"You did it, Derek." She murmured, staring in amazement at the magnificent creature before her. The wolf was lithe, a thin, compact body packed with muscle and not much else. It was the size of any wolf you'd see at the zoo with midnight black fur and vibrant green eyes to strike you straight to your soul; eyes Chloe could identify with only one person- Derek Souza. She offered him a smile, not even realizing that she was still petting his back until a growl vibrated up from his stomach. She pulled her hand back and stared at him.
"Now what? Want to work out your muscles and stuff before…figuring out how to change back?" The wolf snorted, backing up a little, keeping his eyes on her face. "Derek? What's wrong?" Fear shot through her; were they wrong? Was he a completely different person what he was in his Changed form? No, she couldn't let herself be afraid of Derek- he could probably smell her fear anyways.
Derek/Wolf
Help me, Chloe… Derek thought quietly, from the box he was locked in. I'm a monster, and I knew I would be. Why aren't you running?! He couldn't escape the hell that his mind was becoming. He was caged, locked in this beast. He couldn't control this body that was supposed to be his. He could see, he could hear the thoughts- they were his thoughts, too. The thoughts of biting, because this creature in front of him was strange. This creature smelled so familiar, this creature smelled of the thing the Wolf thought of as mate but it looked like what the Wolf also thought of as dangerous.
The Wolf was confused, and Derek was angry. He couldn't change this beast he'd become, he couldn't be anything different. Not for Chloe, not for Simon, not for his family. This was the real him. And Chloe wasn't even cowering- she just looked confused. He could smell no fear coming from her, no hesitation.
"D-Derek? Why ar-aren't you-" she stopped, and Derek felt his upper lip curl upwards in a snarl that made her flinch. He couldn't save her, not now, not anymore. This is the darkest side of me, Chloe. I can't control myself. No one can change what I am. Help me tame this animal, this monster I am. I can't escape what I am. I need you to help me believe this isn't who I really am, the person or wolf that's thinking of hurting you. Please.
The Wolf took a snap at her; she gasped. Rage from the Wolf was emanating because she wouldn't run away.
"I sit out here in the freezing c-cold and this is how- how I-I'm pa-paid back?" She glared at him, so indignant, so frustrated that Derek found himself gaining some control over himself. His tail flicked back and forth dangerously, ears flattened on his head, but he managed to make his lip lower, showing that he wasn't snarling any more. "This isn't you, Derek. You're just being weak and letting that animal control you. The wolf and you are the same person. If you can both think together, it'll be easier." How did she know about that?
"Well? What do you have to say for yourself? I always think of you as so strong- and not in the physical way, either-, but maybe I'm wrong, you big baby!" She shouted, and Derek took affectionate note of how she didn't stutter. She thinks I'm strong? But not just in the physical way?
His tail had stopped moving. His ears were not flat, but relaxed. He wasn't tensed, ready to strike. He was sitting there, watching her like a dog. He was in control of himself.
'Hunt?' the Wolf thought towards Chloe, as if asking if that's what they were going to do to her.
No. Never hunt, never hurt; protect. Derek told himself this, then took a step towards Chloe, who didn't move. Will you ever learn? He thought in exasperation. It wasn't really her fault. She'd only been on the run for a few weeks, and she had only recently begun to realize that she couldn't trust everyone simply because not everyone had done anything wrong to her.
"Derek?" She breathed, looking at him. Mine. He thought as he pressed his nose to her shoulder. She was shaking and had goosebumps all over her arms. He scooted closer, until he was sitting very close to her. She sighed and leant her weight against him, shivering more. "You're warm." She mumbled, pressing her face to his fur. "Maybe your wolf name can be Fluffy." Derek let out a snort, snapping his teeth a little for emphasis. "No? Fine." She giggled, but her voice was groggy. Derek shifted from foot to foot, staring at her. Blue eyes met his and he couldn't move for a moment before shifting again. "What? What is it Lassie? Is Billy stuck in the well again?" She asked jokingly.
No, Derek thought in frustration, I want to take you inside before I go play around. His thoughts were in vain though- she couldn't read minds. But she could take hints, though. He stood up, and waited until she did. He whined in a low voice.
"I'm not going inside, Derek. Seriously. I'll wait out here for you. You can go run around and stuff, and I'll wait right here." Derek growled gently, not wanting to scare her, but wanting to tell her he wasn't happy. "I don't care. I'm staying. Got it?" Derek nodded- strange, but he did- then started towards the house. Chloe followed. "I think…I'll get a blanket and some warmer clothes on, though." She murmured, and Derek snorted out a canine laugh. She flicked his ear, which turned towards her, listening carefully. She rolled her eyes.
"So what are you going to do all night? Do you know how to turn back? Will it be that hard every ti-" Derek let out a tiny bark, telling her to shut up. His muscles were tense and his body was suddenly quivering. His ears were flat, tail lowered. He lowered himself onto his belly, sniffing. The scent was vaguely familiar. Another wolf? Or another werewolf?
"Is it safe for me to go in the house? To get to it, at least?" Chloe asked, and, if Derek didn't know her very well, he would've been hurt that she was trying to save herself. But she was really trying to get help or maybe she was cold enough to ignore danger. He sidled closer and pressed his fur against her legs, which were clad only in sleep shorts. A soft sound from their left!
Derek spun quickly, a growl reverberating through the woods. A man walked through the trees, hands up, showing he was no danger to them.
"Hello, young wolf." He murmured very softly. Chloe stiffened; she had a right. She'd only known one werewolf that had no intent of hurting them, and he was giving off loud warning growls. "I'm not going to hurt you or your mate." Chloe's cheeks warmed, and she glanced down at Derek. He decided to ignore it and snarl..
The man stopped. He had wavy black hair that tumbled to his neck, almost his shoulders. It fell in his eyes, which were a vibrant green. He was at least six four with a muscled body, strong shoulders, broad chest. His face was clear and angular, and Derek had the oddest sense of recognition. The scent was so familiar, now, painfully familiar. A scent that was hardwired into his brain, even if he didn't want to remember it. Not that a face or even a name came with the scent. Just a scent he recognized too much.
"Your name, sweetheart?" He moved his eyes to Chloe, who gasped and rocked backwards. She murmured, "Those eyes…" and Derek felt himself quiver with something other than fear or anger.
"M-my name is-is C-Chloe." She stuttered, biting her lip afterward.
"Hello, Chloe. My name is Darren." He smiled softly, in a friendly way. Derek growled, drawing his attention back to him. His fur was rising slowly. "Oh, Derek. I know who you are. You're so grown up."
His eyes were soft, which surprised Derek to no end. He was nervous, and started pacing in front of Chloe. When Darren took a step forward, he snapped at his legs, snarling loudly. Chloe knelt down, and Derek growled a little at her stupidity.
Don't make yourself vulnerable, Chloe. If you lose your balance, he'll get you, he thought, worried. But she started speaking to him softly, so softly he barely heard her.
"There's…something…familiar about him..." But she didn't say anymore, instead standing up again.
"Derek, you don't know much about yourself, do you? Like how to get back to human form. How to change back to wolf form whenever you want. Those are within your abilities, you know." Derek was listening, but made it seem like he wasn't. Darren continued softly. "It's easier after the first time. The wolf is part of who you are, so it'll be like breathing. One minute your human, the next a wolf and there isn't anything in between. The first Change is the slowest because it's your body telling you how it's going to be. Slowly. You'll get the hang of it." He paused when Chloe squeaked. "Yes, darling?" He asked politely.
"I-it's not-not going to h-h-hurt him any-any more, right?" She asked slowly, her breath coming out in a white puff. The sun would rise in a few hours.
"Not any more, no. He'll feel quick swipes of pain in the first few times, but once he practices more, it'll be fine." He smiled softly, and Chloe started to relax. That pissed Derek off enough to growl at them both. Chloe jumped, looking at him, then absently pet his back, stroking her soft fingers through the upper coarse fur, making him forget his brief irritation at her.
"W-w-what about h-him Ch-Changing back to-to h-human?" Darren smiled, and Derek was getting frustrated.
Spit it out already, so I can get rid of you- get out of here! He thought fiercely, letting loose a feral snarl.
"He has to want to be human, of course. This time, it'll be just as bad as the Changing, but the rest, it'll be less drastic." Derek inwardly flinched. Again with the pain. But if he didn't Change back, didn't want to, he didn't have to. He could stay a wolf and just never have to deal with that pain. But he then felt, with more acute awareness than he would've liked, Chloe's hands shaking on his back. Her eyes were filled with tears, and he knew that somewhere, some higher being was counting everyone of her tears that Derek made and that he would be punished for them. He deserved nothing less.
"Who are you?" She finally demanded, swiping the tears and staring at the man dead in the eye (He was far enough away for her to do that without looking up). The man's eyes saddened and he looked at Derek now, ignoring her. Or so Derek thought.
"I didn't mean to leave you there; I really didn't." He took a deep, shaky breath just as Chloe sucked in a sharp breath. Derek didn't understand, as his mind had shut down the moment Darren said there. "Your mother- died. I couldn't…I couldn't do it by myself, Derek. I couldn't. So…" he sighed and looked down, then knelt and leant his head back, letting out an animalistic howl. He was exposing his throat! Derek wanted to go for the kill, let him bleed out, but Chloe touched his back.
"Leave, please, Darren." She murmured. "You're…" She paused. "You're going to have to leave." She wasn't stuttering, wasn't scared, because she wasn't worried about him hurting her. A suicidal werewolf. Darren stood, his head down, eyes averted, and started backing away. Then he glanced up at Chloe again. Derek watched his leg muscles, in case he attacked.
"Little necromancer, your mother…don't ever summon for your own gain." He murmured, then started away again. He was gone before they realized it. They were too busy agonizing on what this man had said.
Derek took off at a bullet speed, knowing full well that a wolf's stamina was better than its speed. He felt sick that he'd just left Chloe, but he had to get away for a while. They were close enough to the house that she could find it and go inside.
XXX
Simon
"Morning." Simon mumbled at Tori. He came in the girls' room of the safe house to get Chloe, but she was nowhere in sight. Tori scowled at him and flipped onto her stomach, pulling the blanket over her head. He backed out and looked at the stairs with a tilted head. Were Chloe and Derek both already downstairs? A flash of memory and intuition hit him; Derek had looked sick last night. Where were they? Probably outside, in the woods.
"Andrew!" Simon pounded on the man's door, until it swung open; Andrew wore a "where's the fire?!" expression, but Simon didn't bother to grace that with an explanation. "Have you seen Chloe or Derek?" Andrew's face paled. He was still a tiny bit apprehensive of Derek's ability to control himself.
"He was looking sick…"Andrew murmured, and Simon knew he was right about Andrew thinking Derek incapable of holding himself together. "He wouldn't…hurt Chloe, right?"
"No." Simon spat, temper flaring up.
"I have to ask, don't I? Go check outside and I'll be right down." Simon nodded, anger forgotten, and ran down the stairs, nearly skidding on the wooden floors.
Tori, Simon, and Andrew had been searching for an hour before Simon found them. His heart stopped for a moment, and he looked away, his pain quite evident. Not fair, he immediately thought. Then he got frustrated at himself for even thinking that. Chloe was on two blankets on the ground, and another one was over her. Derek was in a t-shirt and boxers, laying right next to her, his arm over her protectively. They were dead asleep. Tori and Andrew both came up, stopping cold.
"Are they…asleep?" Tori asked, trying not to laugh.
"Yes." Simon's voice was cold and dispassionate. Andrew shot him a look, then looked back at them. Chloe looked so incredibly small and child like; Derek looked huge next to her, making her size look even more dwarfed. But together they looked perfect. Simon looked away again.
"Should we leave them?" Tori sputtered, starting to laugh more. Andrew sighed, shaking his head.
"No, it's getting cold." Simon just walked away, keeping his face completely blank.
So review, please. Pretty please. And yeah. It was longer than I expected it to be, but I hope you understood all of it. If not, I'll be happy to answer PM'ed questions, so please, go ahead. The next one is based off of Alyssa Lies, by Jason Michael Carroll. But it's not…never mind. You'll see.