Our Love To Admire Chapter 1: Pace Is The Trick, a harry potter fanfic

Our Love to Admire

Chapter 1 - Pace Is the Trick

Disclaimer: I don't own nada, except for the books I purchase.

Author's Note: This story was inspired by three songs from Interpol's new album, 'Our Love to Admire,' hence the name of the series and each individual chapter. The album is amazing, but that's just one opinion from a crazed fan. (Book 7 Non-Compliant) I should also make note that I published this story before on this site, but because of password issues, I just figured I'd add it to another account by the same username.

You can't hold it too tight

These matters of security

This is not how the story was supposed to end. If anything, I should be the one in your position. This particular battle is dying down – Voldemort's forces have retreated. They will be back, and while I don't know or particularly care when, you won't be here to fight them.

Everyone is running around, looking for some signs of life, and here I am, holding you as you draw in what I know will be your last few breaths. Your brown eyes glaze over, but when they reach mine, they stay on me. There is still that sense of wonder in them that I will never forget seeing from your first year.

I want to beg you to stay with me, even if it is for a few more days. I want to tell you that without you, my life is nothing, but we were never ones for such soft indulgences. Our emotions didn't make us weaker, but we knew that those declarations were unnecessary. I feel the blood, your blood, seeping through the shirt you just happened to have on today. The various hexes thrown at you are going to make their final claim – the life of Hermione Granger.

You don't have to be wound so tight,

Smoking on the balcony

Your wand has been splintered into bits and pieces all around us. I gently pluck out a splinter from your chin, comforted by the fact that no blood leaves its mark. I whisper to you that the wand can be repaired, even though I know it is improbable. It's to the point where I will say anything to serve my own selfish needs.

There's such sleaze in the park

There are other bodies around the two of us, but I care not who the fallen are. A Death Eater could be standing behind me, ready to strike, but this moment has left me paralyzed. I have become weakened, all by the likes of you.

And women, you have no self-control

I saw you, as a mere first year, come full circle to me seventh year. Even if my first time at your temple was one you never fully could approve of, you would later tell me that your dreams were haunted by me.

Now, dreams that have yet to come to me will be haunted by you.

The angels remark outside, you are known for insatiable needs

If anything, when the two of us collided, it was a nothing less than a force of nature. I liked to think that we just took what we needed from each other, but seeing you reach me crest after crest was one of the most beautiful things I could ever experience.

I don't know a thing.

It's hard to blend the various images I have of you right now. The first one being you, in my arms, clinging to me, but it could be the other way around. My lioness that wasn't afraid to stand up for what she thought was right. The girl who became a woman all in front of my eyes from the first time our lips met to the wanton goddess who let me take her against her bedroom door at headquarters. This woman before me, whose cries of ecstasy will always be the most beautiful music to my ears.

I've seen love and I follow the speed in the starlight

I've seen love and I follow the speed when the stars swept by

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know anything in regards to love, even though I'm sure we far surpassed that pedestal. I want to tell you those three words right now, but I'm too afraid to. Before I get too lost in those thoughts, the soft, fleshy wound on the back of your head pulls me back into our current predicament.

Yeah, pace is the trick

And to all the destruction in man

I want to heal you as best I can, but I know that whatever I do will only draw out what we know will eventually come. All of this destruction around us serves as the reminder that we knew exactly what we were getting into before the war was truly started.

Well I see you as you take your pride, my lioness

Plus, you were never one to choose leaving this world with a big exit. You told me once that you preferred to work backstage, but my dear, lovely lioness, you were always center stage for me. Always.

Your defenses seem wise, I cannot press

And detentions are demise, my lioness

Can't you hurt it some?

I think I hurt it

I tighten my grip onto you, hoping that somehow some shard of my life will seep itself into you. That's the bastard in me coming out – I don't want you to leave.

"Stay with me. Stay with me," I mutter under my breath as I hold onto you, rocking back and forth, hoping you'll acquiesce to my wishes.

I don't care if Potter and the rest of them see their stoic Potions Master on the brink of panic begging you to live. I don't care if a hundred Death Eaters flee the scene. I don't care anymore, and that thought scares me more than Voldemort defeating us all. What's the point of staying behind and winning if you aren't here to reap those joys?

I've seen love and I follow the speed of the starlight

I've seen love and I follow the speed when the stars swept by

I brush away the bloodied, wavy tendrils that have glued themselves to your face. Still rocking back and forth, but not paying attention anymore to what I'm doing, your eyes still hypnotize me.

You smile all of a sudden, and I wonder what it is you are thinking about. A cut up hand makes its way to my cheek, and I close my eyes as I relish in what may be one of your final caresses.

And now I select you, slow now I let you

See how I stun

I think of the first time we truly took each other. The way your eyes locked onto mine as I slowly entered you over and over and over again has never left my memory. Your legs crept up to caress me, and while I graced one of your legs with my touch, you held onto my flesh as if you would drown if I were to let you go. We wanted to feel each other inch by inch, and I would only give that luxury to you. If I could have, I would have put it in a Pensieve when I had the chance.

And now I select you, slow now I bet you

See how I stun

Your hands left trails of compassion on scars I wished to forget. Your kisses, tattoos, of what others would deem forbidden territory, but we ignored them altogether.

And to all the destruction in man

And to all the corruption in my hand

As if the memory were sent to me directly by your hand, I remembered the time after a feverish night of love making where I revealed my worst memories. I was shocked that Potter didn't reveal them to you and that Weasley boy, but you listened as I recalled the utter humiliation that transpired. I still don't know why I told you those things. I didn't want your sympathy, nor did I expect you to have a better understanding of me. It scared me to know that I was giving you a part of me and I didn't expect anything in return, and you knew that all along.

And now I select you, slow now I let you

See how I stun

"When I was a child, my parents took me to visit relatives in the States. This was about a year before Hogwarts sent me a letter. My parents were big fans of art, so, naturally, I kind of caught onto the buzz," you told me once as we both lay entwined with one another.

"We visited Maine with all of its lighthouses and gorgeous scenery. We spent a day at the Olson House, where some of their favorite paintings were first created by Andrew Wyeth. I remember standing on the land with my cousin and feeling the wind around me," you continued as I drew circles on your back.

"I never really believed in some concept of an afterlife – heaven or hell. I just always thought that when people died, everything would be over. But, lately, I just keep having these thoughts that when I am to go, I want to walk amongst the grass. I want to feel the wind pushing against me. I want to lie in that grass and just feel everything. I still can't say I believe in a heaven, but if there were one, that space in Cushing, Maine would be mine."

And now I select you, slow now I bet you

See how I stun

And now I select you, (I've seen love) slow now I let you

Before my input was allowed, you kissed me, and all thoughts were lost in that instant. I never understood what it was like to truly feel until I knew you.

See how I stun

And now I select you, (I've seen love) slow now I bet you

I'll never forget the question you posed to me, your body undulating on top of me, your soft hair tracing my face, before we came together...

"Would you follow me there?"

I follow the speed when the stars swept by

I didn't answer, but all along, you knew what my answer would be.

And now, as I'm brought back to our current situation, I want only to scream my answer. Your breaths are becoming shorter and more desperate. You look at me, as if asking permission to close your eyes and give into sleep.

I can hear your words floating in my mind: I'm so tired. It'll only be for a few minutes.

Who am I to prolong your suffering?

You don't hold a candle

I want to beg you to stay.

You don't hold a candle

I want to beg you to stay.

But instead, you raise your head and whisper to me five short, simple words before you breathe in your last breath. Your eyes remain open, but I softly pass my fingers over them – the lids now closed forever. I cover my face with your hair, hoping it will prevent my growls of anguish, not paying any attention to those who have surrounded us.

You don't hold a candle