Diary of the Fat Kid
Prologue:
October 9, 2009
Dear Diary,
Hope. It's something wish I had.
Hope that someone somewhere loves me and I have a "sun" to comfort me in days of dead daises with a revolting shade of gray. All I have is an unwelcome family full of disgust, despise, more disgust, pity, and depression (from my side.)
My parents make me feel like a mistake. I feel like the world would be better off without me. What am I to anyone? To my dad I am a stupid ignorant girl. To my mom I'm a big ball of fat and failure and a pity of 'a fat girl watching a special of Charlie Brown's "Be My Valentine" on ABC on a our old rugged couch swallowing whole chocolates that SHE bought herself because no one asked to be their "valentine" on Valentine's Day.'
I am not important, really. I have no real friends. I do have some, but I feel like I don't belong with them. They're just my friends and nice to me because they pity me.
According to my mom, I'll end up eating bread crumbs off a sidewalk.
I know people get annoyed with "fatties" (as society calls us) and their sulking, but you have to understand the pain I and them go through every agonizing day! It's that kind of pain that writhers through and about every cell, organ, and your mind, screaming out at you, "Die! No one needs you, Fatty!"
My parents are also part of the cause of the pain. They remind me every day of my state in shape.
They don't understand. They don't know how much pain their words bring to me. Every pronunciation, syllable, punctuation mark means the world to me. I suck in all their insults when their given out of pure respect, that I know they don't deserve.
Though, all the messages bombarding me is that am a failure inflicted disease child and there is no cure.
That's the number one reason I eat so much. Food is my escape. Escape from the reality life is…
At school they tease me and call me Belly.
It hurts me really deep.
The person that hurts me the most is Edward, though.
Oh yes, Edward. He's, not doubt, the most gorgeous man on planet Earth.
Edward and I used to be best friends since kindergarten but during the summer he changed. He became someone I couldn't recognize. Edward became an arrogant prick. He dated girls like a Ms. California changes outfits.
I imagine she changes a lot, and so does Edward. At first, I was alarmed he was bipolar or something. I tried really hard to knock some sense to the man, but he just shoved me away.
Edward shoved me like I didn't matter. That we didn't matter. All those wonderful childhood years didn't matter. I asked him why he was doing this to me. All I got was a noticeable grimace of disgust and an eye roll.
That's when I started becoming depressed. Edward and his family never really cared of my weight status. Esme always told me it was puberty and I was content with my body.
It then started in 6th grade; the constant grimaces and weird looks. Edward and I stayed strong though. In seventh grade we drifted apart. I thought in through the summer we'd patch our friendship right up. Though, Edward and his family went to Denali, Alaska that summer, from the first day of summer to the last, so it was impossible.
That's pretty much what got me into this depression. My family didn't bother me as long as I had Edward, and now that I didn't, I fell alone.
Like Mother Teresa once said, "The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved."
I understand I sound very poignant, but I need none of your pity. This is because I have a plan….
A/N: THANKS SO MUCH FOR GIVING YOU TIME TO MY NEW STORY!
Guys, heads up I'm updating Pretty Pinks and Baby Blues this week! Sorry I haven't updated and I have no excuse for my faithful readers and I hope you can understand. Did you notice how this story is following the real date? Well, I think for only half the world…I think it had something to do with International Date Line, I forget. Thanks for reading though!