Authors note: Hey guys! So, I decided to finally post my first ICHIRUKI one shot. Its about time if you ask me. I got the idea for this one shot from the song "Broken" by Life House. Anyway, if you cant tell it is Ichigo's point of view regarding Rukia leaving. Please enjoy!
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"Death means one can no longer see another. Separation is like death, only with the temptation that one day one can meet another again. Which is worse?"
Sometimes, I lay awake in my bed. Staring at the ceiling, but staring at nothing all the same.
Sometimes, when I can't sleep and can no longer stare at the ceiling. I look out the window, past the small wooden fence, past the small tree I used to play around, past a vast amount of roads, I look on at a single telephone pole. A marker of sorts, a beacon, in the night, in the dark, something I can always find. And it gives me comfort the bare ceiling never could. I seek something, anything to be remind of her.
Sometimes, when I'm at school, I leave class, saying I have to go to the nurse, even though I feel fine. I run down the halls, and thrust open the doors to the school. Then I realize I don't feel fine. I have a terrible ache in my chest, but I continue running. I know my friends are looking at me, each one of them feeling the same sadness I am. I ignore it, because I don't admit anything is wrong so I continue to run past the telephone pole, through the park, around the corner, and come to a stop in front of my home. Remembering a time that feels like yesterday, when a chair was my weapon, when my family was in danger and when she came. I run inside, past my table, up my stairs, and past my empty closet, where I sit on my bed and stare at the ceiling.
Sometimes, when I am with my family eating dinner I notice the empty table setting. I cant help but image a small girl sitting, laughing and smiling. Instead nothing sits there, nothing but an empty seat. I cant help but yearn for the times when she was here, but I will never tell anyone that. So, instead I finish eating quickly, silently, avoiding the concerned looks from my family and I walk to my room, alone. Up the stairway and past my closet. Alone. Empty. I sit on my bed, I don't change my clothes, I just sit there, staring at the ceiling.
Sometimes, I dream. I dream a nightmare. My mother's death, it racks my body until I wake up from the violent shaking. To terrified to sleep again, my quivering breaths keep me company in the loneliness of the night. My eyes find the ceiling then drift to the closet. She kept my memories away, but she replaced them with new memories, happy memories. I look away from the closet, feeling worse then I had before. I once again stare at the ceiling, my only company.
Sometimes, when time is passing by faster then I had ever remember it could, I stop, I just stop. I close my eyes and listen to the voice that had told me to slow down. To the clear, feminine voice that told me to stop, and to cherish the time I was given. I smile widely, I hear her voice, I can feel here. Even though she isn't here, she is, and knowing that, I head home. Up the stairway and past my empty closet. But, instead of having a staring contest with the ceiling, or playing I spy for a telephone pole, I open a the top draw in my desk and pull out a small sheet of paper. The paper has a poorly draw rabbit on it, scribbled down with a black pen. I feel the pain in my heart, my eyes shake, I read the words on the page.
Good bye Ichigo.
Rukia
Putting the paper away, with extra care, I remember she is still with me, and will be with me wherever I go whenever I go, anywhere. Even though she isn't with me now, she will always be with me, in my heart and in my mind and in my memories.